41 & Mostly retired. What to do now?

[jetpack]

Well, I have been free from a regular job for almost 10 years now. I worked a lot more at first, but have taken a lot of breaks along the way and scaled back work. I still have plenty of stuff to do, just less and less of things I want to do.

I do like most of you're guys ideas.. I have tried most of them. Included the
triathlons (painful), volunteering, various groups, etc.

Finding a SO is certainly a top priority, but, it's hard to find women that get along with and even hard to find ones that can travel, etc.

I guess another question I have is how you explain to people you're retired (which of course gets into how much money you have). Or,
do you use your whatever activity you're currently doing (I'm a triathlete)

[xyz]

Jetpack,

I retired 8 months ago and the key thing I have done is to make sure I have structure to my day. I am a triathlete and training for a full ironman in May of next year. I also play guitar as a hobby. I have no desire to go back to a job or turn my hobbies into a job (I owned a health club in the 80's and it was not fun). Most weeks I have trouble squeezing all the activities I want to do in.. Swim / Bike / Run / Kayak / Fish / Play guitar / Cook / RV / Socialize... It is very important to have a social outlet, it does not have to be an SO but most of us (at least I) need to have social contact. This can be family / friends or others... Join a club that you think might interest you .. If you like it, keep going, if not go somewhere else eventually you will meet people you like being with.

As far as your question related to telling people you are retired I am a bit older than you but people still look shocked when I say I retired. I let them think what they want. I usually say I was very lucky to have had a good job and the company I worked for was very good. That pretty much ends the discussion of where I am they can pretty much figure things out.

Get out there and have some fun you earned it !

[rodi]

It's not too late to find the SO... may not be easy... but it's possible. I was 37 when I met DH - and he was 47. Neither of us had been married nor had kids. But within 2 weeks of meeting I knew he was the one. And less than a year after meeting we were hitched and taking work sabbaticals to travel.

I've done the solo travel thing - and agree it's more enjoyable to travel with someone. But I wouldn't completely dismiss solo travel as a way of meeting like minded potential mates... I met some of the most interesting folks on my travels. I had to push myself out of my INTJ comfort zone to strike up conversations... but it was well worth it. My husband has similar stories of people he met when he solo traveled before we got married. He's still in touch with a few friends he met on trips to Kyoto and to Instanbul.

And if you're serious about meeting folks - don't discount blind dates. (Yes - they *can* suck.) My husband was the brother of a coworker... the coworker finally realized that his brother and I both were jetting off on solo travels... and we should meet.

[Mulligan]

I think you first have to decide if you need people. If you do, you will have to search out like MooreBonds suggested. Your working friends will always be working. Mine are too for some time to come including long time GF. I went the other way and have embraced solitude activities throughout the day and thoroughly enjoy them. In fact I will turn down offers with friends as much as I accept. I do just enough to keep getting invited. Find yourself a comfortable routine to get into. Mine is newspaper reading, walking, working out, and daily 9 holes walking golf in heat of the day where no one is bothering me!
As far as vacations go...About 7 years ago, I went solo when no one could go to Vegas, and felt like a loser the first day. After getting over that, now it's my preference to go alone. About half the time I still have to go with a friend, but I prefer gong solo now. Kinda interesting to strike up conversations with normal looking strangers at pubs and sports books when I feel like yapping.

[CoolChange]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulligan I think you first have to decide if you need people. If you do, you will have to search out like MooreBonds suggested. Your working friends will always be working. Mine are too for some time to come including long time GF. I went the other way and have embraced solitude activities throughout the day and thoroughly enjoy them. In fact I will turn down offers with friends as much as I accept. I do just enough to keep getting invited. Find yourself a comfortable routine to get into. Mine is newspaper reading, walking, working out, and daily 9 holes walking golf in heat of the day where no one is bothering me! As far as vacations go...About 7 years ago, I went solo when no one could go to Vegas, and felt like a loser the first day. After getting over that, now it's my preference to go alone. About half the time I still have to go with a friend, but I prefer gong solo now. Kinda interesting to strike up conversations with normal looking strangers at pubs and sports books when I feel like yapping.

This describes my life pretty well sans the golf and ER. And, I am hoping to fix half of that discrepancy in the next few months with no real desire to take up golf.