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adjusting to all this time
Old 06-02-2010, 07:22 PM   #1
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adjusting to all this time

Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
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Old 06-02-2010, 07:47 PM   #2
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Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
Personally I have been extremely fortunate. During my six months of retirement so far, the adjustment has gone pretty well and I don't miss work. However, my dear friend Frank (retired 3 months) is working through a few things, I think mainly related to his desire to accomplish something. He thought of some projects (building some bookcases and turning one of his bedrooms into a workshop) and he seems to be getting that sense of accomplishment from these tasks. I hope so, anyway.

I am thinking that maybe you need some structure to your day. How about joining a gym, or taking classes, and sticking to a schedule while meeting people that way? Or perhaps you could volunteer. There are so many wonderful ways to develop a routine and meet people.
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:14 PM   #3
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I found your old thread where you mentioned your anxiety about what retirement would be like:

1 month in retirement and anxious

I hope you find some things that you find are fun or fulfilling--or find fun and fulfillment in the things you already are doing.
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:15 PM   #4
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Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?

Wecome ! I also missed the social aspect of my job so I joined a gym and went to a class a few days a week . This accomplished both getting some social contact and losing some weight . I have been retired two years and my life is still evolving .
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:28 PM   #5
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I am thinking that maybe you need some structure to your day. How about joining a gym, or taking classes, and sticking to a schedule while meeting people that way? Or perhaps you could volunteer. There are so many wonderful ways to develop a routine and meet people.
I have been RE'ed 4 months and this is exactly what we did. Our main goal is to stay fit and healthy to enjoy lots of long vacations.

We quickly got into a great routine with our local YMCA. At $80/month we can attend as many classes as we want and have unlimited use of the well equipped gym and pool.

Every morning we go and do a class or execise and spend time socializing in the common area drinking coffee. We have met LOADS of interesting people from all over the world. We've also started playing tennis which is a different circle of friends.

We had our first long trip end of April. Rented a small 2 bed house in Colorado for a month and lived in the small town, mostly hiking in the mountains and other low cost stuff. Totally different change of pace.

Next week we are off to England and in September we have a house rented in Canada for a month.

This lifestyle is something we have planned for years and so far it is suiting us just fine.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:37 PM   #6
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I'm 55 & 5 mos. ER. I'm not missing work at all. I've got a big yard & backlog of to dos on house so that keeps me very busy for quite awhile. I think I was really ready to stop working so I'm really happy to be unstructured.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:36 PM   #7
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I ERed about 10 years ago, and the thing I missed most about working was receiving friendly emails most days thanking me for doing whatever I did. I began volunteering for an organization that wanted a web site, etc., and suddenly the thankful emails resumed, without the job pressure.
Like others above I also began going to the gym every morning with my DH, and this routine made me more comfortable in my new life, and we made some new friends as well. Of course whenever I want to go somewhere I can drop this routine in a second and just take off. Ahhhh.
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Old 06-03-2010, 01:04 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by rickd View Post
Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
What about all the suggestions & links you were referred to eight months ago? How did those work out?

(FAQ archive) But... what will I do all day?

Because otherwise what you're doing is posting essentially the same question as you did eight months ago without any other feedback or amplification. It's hard to see how you expect to get better answers than you got last time. If you want more perspective then give us something to work with.

If you miss the "routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job", and if you're unable to recreate that environment on your own (with or without this board's help), then why not just go out and get a job? You'll be able to quickly decide how valuable that work routine is to your life.
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Old 06-03-2010, 02:14 PM   #9
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We decided up front we needed a couple years to decompress and agreed we would not leap into any new plans or commitments until that time was up.

We needed time to get used to our new lifestyle (which was a more intense adjustment than we'd even anticipated) and we wanted to make a thoughtful choice about the next stage of our lives.

Maybe you just need to cut yourself some slack and take a forced sabbatical before you figure out what the next section of your life is going to look like.
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:59 PM   #10
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Obviously you enjoyed your work to some degree, unlike many of us that were burned out and ready to start enjoying life. For many of us, it is quite a relief to be away from the daily grind and even people interactions we grew very tired of. I must admit, even on my worst day it is better than the work I was doing. In your case, of course, much different. And the adjustment much harder. You have to somehow replace the positive aspects of your job. Many good ideas have been suggested. Spending more time with family and friends has been one of my most fulfilling pursuits for me. (Retired at 55, 18 months ago)
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Old 06-05-2010, 10:11 AM   #11
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Opposite problem here after my first two months of ESR: Working 2 days a week mostly, I find I am enjoying my unstructured time so much that I resent work's intrusion into my newly available free time.

I am willingly becoming a lazy bum. Sleeping in, jogging, camping, working on the RV, golf, days by the pool with guacamole (DW's home made stuff, garlic to near toxic levels) and chips. Visited kids twice already, more visits planned.

I have a remedy in the works for readjusting my time but I made a commitment for at least a few more months.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah - not enough structured time for the OP. Toughly worded as Nords' reply was, he makes a good point - I don't see where the OP has taken any steps to fix his situation on his own, and can't see why getting a new part-time low stress job or volunteer position wouldn't work wonders.

Not to be unsympathetic, and there may be logistic or emotional reasons why that hasn't been done, but many people would trade situations in a heartbeat.
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Old 06-05-2010, 03:52 PM   #12
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Opposite problem here after my first two months of ESR: Working 2 days a week mostly, I find I am enjoying my unstructured time so much that I resent work's intrusion into my newly available free time.
This might be a sign that you are more ready to retire than you thought. (?) Definitely worth paying attention to this response and considering what this might mean to you.
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Old 06-05-2010, 07:09 PM   #13
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Opposite problem here after my first two months of ESR:
Rich, I think the FDA is ready to endorse the results of the clinical trials and approve your antidote for "just one more year" syndrome...
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Old 06-05-2010, 10:40 PM   #14
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Rich, I think the FDA is ready to endorse the results of the clinical trials and approve your antidote for "just one more year" syndrome...
Yes, this might be the moment where everyone gets to say "told you so."

I think W2R is right - I was readier to retire than I realized. But it's still early. Almost like a third party, I watch myself morphing - just not sure where it will settle. Just know I'm enjoying it more than I thought it would. And Martha was right, too. It's all about time - having it, that is.
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Old 06-06-2010, 07:03 AM   #15
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Heck, I don't have time for wo*k ...

Here's why:

Filling Up 8 Extra Hours in Retirement - Yahoo! News
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Old 06-06-2010, 07:31 AM   #16
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Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
Welcome to the forum.
I oscilated between jackrabbit activity seeking and almost hermit-like periods over the last 3 years. What I have found to be very useful is to enter "things to do" into my email Calendar as I think of them, with weekly reminders on different days. So if I am sitting around twiddling my thumbs, a nice little DING will come up and give me a suggestion. I either defer it or do it.
I would suggest doing something similar. Start with a list (on paper or on your computer), jotting down as they pop into your head.
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Old 06-06-2010, 09:15 AM   #17
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I oscilated between jackrabbit activity ....
I am glad for you. I hear it really gets the kinks out!

Ha
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Old 06-06-2010, 10:19 AM   #18
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I can't wait to see how I fare with the problem of having too much free time! Or will it even be a problem?
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Old 06-06-2010, 10:54 AM   #19
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Heck, I don't have time for wo*k ...
Here's why:
Filling Up 8 Extra Hours in Retirement - Yahoo! News
Oh, my, what a well-written explanation. It's right up there with Paul Terhorsts's "Body work".

I think I've just found a new mentor...
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Old 06-06-2010, 11:07 AM   #20
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Heck, I don't have time for wo*k ...

Here's why:

Filling Up 8 Extra Hours in Retirement - Yahoo! News
Terrific article, and 100% true in my retirement!

For example I just got up. Life is SO good when you can sleep until awakening.
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