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Old 10-04-2013, 06:33 AM   #61
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I told my husband last night that I wanted to set the date, and that (later on) I'd like to explore DIY portfolio management. He kind of freaked out. I shouldn't have said it all at once...
YES..YES..YES

At least we got you to think about it seriously. Please read Andrew Hallam's Millionaire Teacher and the William Bernstein's Investor's Manifesto. They are pretty easy reads and will tell you everything you need to know about DIY index investing.

Don't overwork it. Come back and you'll get more comments than you can imagine on people's differing approaches. It will be the easiest $25,000 to $50,000 you've ever made and it is repeated every year.
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Old 10-04-2013, 06:46 AM   #62
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....And please, all those trying to get me to fire my financial advisor can just drop off this thread now. Please. I promise I'll consider it, but not at this pivotal time in my life. I sense that I can get constructive assistance from this forum, but I really am not interested in changing my approach to financial management RIGHT NOW. I really will take a serious look at this in a year. Thank you in advance for no more posting about this.
Certainly glad to respect your request. If you cut the cord, you can make a special project for yourself of learning more about DIY investing and taking the first steps to cutting the cord with your FA in your first year of retirement. No need to go cold turkey, especially if your're happy with the FA. Perhaps you can DIY your 401k (assuming you have one if you convert it to a tIRA).
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Old 10-04-2013, 06:55 AM   #63
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....I also started yoga but I have a knee and a shoulder that probably need surgery and that makes it hard!....
If you decide to proceed with the surgery it might be better to do it before you retire and take advantage of whatever Megacorp benefits are available (sick time, ST disability or whatever).

One thing to consider is whether you might be able to carve out certain days where you are "off" and not available and can ignore calls and emails if you want to. I though about trying to carve out Mondays and Fridays so I would have 4 days off but unfortunately, the demands of our clients were such that it wouldn't work. At the rates our clients were paying, if they needed me for a consultation on a Thursday night an answer that I wouldn't be available until Tuesday wouldn't cut it (and I don't blame them).
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Old 10-04-2013, 10:10 AM   #64
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This is the crux of it! There's a point where you just have to take a breath and step off the cliff! I've taken big chances before in my life with great results, but somehow this one seems different because of the irrevocability.

I told my husband last night that I wanted to set the date, and that (later on) I'd like to explore DIY portfolio management. He kind of freaked out. I shouldn't have said it all at once...
I am glad to hear you are considering the DIY approach, but I would just like to remind you that it doesn't have to be 1+% or do it yourself. Investing doesn't sound like it would be an area you would feel comfortable 100% on your own, especially at first.

There are fee only planners that charge by the hour or low cost fund places like Fidelity that do not charge extra for planning help for clients that meet their minimum asset criteria.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:13 AM   #65
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There are fee only planners that charge by the hour or low cost fund places like Fidelity that do not charge extra for planning help for clients that meet their minimum asset criteria.
Vanguard will do a no cost plan for people with account values that total $1MM or more. I've never bothered to get it done. I probably should. A fee only planner can certainly give you a plan for a few hundred dollars. Ether is a good start if you decide you don't want to totally go it alone. No matter what you do I recommend getting yourself educated by reading the books I suggested earlier.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:17 AM   #66
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Vanguard will do a no cost plan for people with account values that total $1MM or more. I've never bothered to get it done. I probably should. A fee only planner can certainly give you a plan for a few hundred dollars. Ether is a good start if you decide you don't want to totally go it alone. No matter what you do I recommend getting yourself educated by reading the books I suggested earlier.
I thought ether was a gas.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:22 AM   #67
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I thought ether was a gas.
Ether can be either a gas, liquid or solid depending on the temperature. I may have typos but I'm up on my chemical properties.
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:20 PM   #68
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Ether is a good start if you decide you don't want to totally go it alone.
Thanks for the suggestion but I'd rather stick with a nice chardonnay!
Seriously everyone, I appreciate all the suggestions and am taking them all to heart!

The idea from pb4uski about setting aside time when I'm not available sounds so good. I'd be happy to start with no phone calls in the evening! Last night my boss called at 6 pm when I was exercising on my treadmill. I let it go to voicemail, so she texted me. I ignored it. After my husband and I had dinner, I called her back at about 8 pm. SHE TALKED UNTIL 11:15!

I just sigh and think, well, she's paying me $80 an hour to listen to her. Not exactly psychiatrist rates but not too bad! I wonder if she realizes that she wastes probably 25% of the time she's paying me for?

Here's another example of the difficulty with setting limits... Last May my husband and I spent the month in England and Scotland. We planned the trip in February and knowing that I would not want to be working halftime while trying to tour the UK I sent an email to the CEO letting her know I was planning the trip and asking if I could drop back to a 20% schedule for that month only, so I could handle email, keep things moving, etc. She wrote back saying that would be fine.

A week before leaving, we were on our regular weekly staff phone call and she reminded everyone that I was leaving for the UK so she wanted everybody to think about what projects they wanted me to take on and get them to me before I left. I reminded her that I was only going to be working the equivalent of 1 day a week, so there wouldn't be a lot of time for project work. She said I never told her I was cutting back my hours! This was on a call with everyone listening! I reminded her I had emailed her in February and she agreed to the reduction. She said she had no idea I wasn't going to keep up my regular schedule. After the call, I searched my email and forwarded her the entire exchange, including her explicit agreement. She responded that if she had known we'd be so busy she would not have agreed. But I found out later from one of my co-workers that the whole time I was gone she continually made comments about how I never told her I was cutting back my hours.

So you can see the problem about setting limits. I'm working for someone not completely rational who needs to be "in control". If I make myself available, tell her what she wants to hear, and am very responsive 18 hours a day by phone/email/text I can keep this nice gig going. But it is very stressful and I'd rather be enjoying life. So it might be 20 hours of work but 7/24 commitment.

I just finished watching all the morning shows and looking at how the stock market has lost 700 points in the last 2 weeks and am thinking this looks like a bad time to make the retirement move...
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:32 PM   #69
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Cheryl, this sounds worse than a full time job. Your boss does not appear to respect your time. No job is worth being on call 24/7/365. My suggestion would be to get a written contract that specifies the hours you work (if you don't already have one) and then to stick to it. Document every minute of your time devoted to work. If you are contracted to work 20 hours per week, then don't engage with her on the 21st hour unless you make it quite clear that she is now using time borrowed from next week. Be firm. Turn the smartphone OFF when you are not working, even if you have to get a separate one for personal use.
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:45 PM   #70
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One of the nice things about being part time was that I could fairly easily duck unpleasant assignments. If one came along that was going to be time consuming, I would just remind the boss that he had 1000 hours of my time a year and did he REALLY want to use some of it on [task I didn't want to do]. 9 times out of 10 he would agree to assign it to someone else. I used this to get out of a lot of admin BS.

On the boss part, it is sometimes hard for those who are 24/7/365 to recognize those of us who are not - they just naturally assume that everyone is the same as they are.
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:22 PM   #71
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You actually still do have other options than quit or keep this job, and that would be to find a career you might enjoy with a more flexible or self determined work schedule.
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Old 10-04-2013, 02:35 PM   #72
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You actually still do have other options than quit or keep this job, and that would be to find a career you might enjoy with a more flexible or self determined work schedule.
+1.
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Old 10-04-2013, 03:17 PM   #73
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So you can see the problem about setting limits.
This reminds me of a well-done "Going Traveling" memo written to a similar boss. It detailed her plans of going spelunking in South American caves (no radio, satellite communication, etc.) and gave explicit instructions on how to reach her. The instructions involved going to some small village, finding "Pedro" when he was sober, who in turn would arrange a mule and a messenger. This would take at least a week, probably longer.

The underlying message was clear: "I'm on vacation. Leave me alone!"
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Old 10-04-2013, 05:34 PM   #74
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This reminds me of a well-done "Going Traveling" memo written to a similar boss. It detailed her plans of going spelunking in South American caves (no radio, satellite communication, etc.) and gave explicit instructions on how to reach her. The instructions involved going to some small village, finding "Pedro" when he was sober, who in turn would arrange a mule and a messenger. This would take at least a week, probably longer.

The underlying message was clear: "I'm on vacation. Leave me alone!"
Thank you so much! Now I have my next out of office auto-responder message, maybe just for internal email, maybe not.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:52 AM   #75
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Cool, if you do it, please give us the reactions! I thought about adding carrier pigeon instructions for my out of office this summer, but "chickened" out.
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Old 10-05-2013, 12:42 PM   #76
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I like the suggestion of turning off the smart phone when you're off the clock. DH is part time and this is what he does. He has a personal phone that he uses when he's not working. His family doesn't have is work phone number and his work folks don't have his personal number.... Since he bills by the hour they don't want him being on call and billing them.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:22 PM   #77
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Heh. When I actually did decide to retire, I set up my E-mail signature to say:

"Note: This e-mail address expires March 7, 2008"

I also went into our meeting scheduling software and marked my status from March 8, 2008 out to 2038 as being busy in an all-day event. The reactions and questions were pretty funny. (But I am easily amused...)
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Old 10-05-2013, 09:15 PM   #78
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I want everyone to know that I've ordered books from Amazon, and DH and I went into the local library and checked out even more today. Doing my research!
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Old 10-06-2013, 12:29 PM   #79
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I want everyone to know that I've ordered books from Amazon, and DH and I went into the local library and checked out even more today. Doing my research!
You go CherylGrrl! I did that a few years ago when we got serious about money and we have made many times over the cost of the books in expense savings and increased investment returns.
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Old 10-06-2013, 10:10 PM   #80
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The OMY syndrome is very tough for some of us. I think some need to feel security more than others (I happen to be one of those). And if you're saving at high rate, it is hard to let go of that security, when you see that after letting go, you're saving nothing. I remember trying rock climbing one time. I got to a point on a cliff face where I knew I would not be able to hold onto the rock after my next move...I would slip and fall. I was top-roped, so there was no danger in the situation, but I just could not make myself take the next step. I tried and tried, but I couldn't willingly lose control of the situation. I have a similar feeling about my job. Letting go and losing control has a powerful emotional effect on me. [Okay I've said it. Doctor, do you have something you can prescribe for me?]
This thread really talks to me. Many similarities. I am really fortunate to have a good job (that would not be easily replaced). We are fortunate for the savings we have. I keep going through my list of concerns (market, withdrawal rates, health care, cash flow, DW's spending). I regularly go through the models and numbers to confirm what is possible.

In my case, I think we are getting to the point where everything would be fine (to retire) anytime now. We are now just managing through several opportunities for small upside to our savings. While DH is waiting (a short while longer) for a possible severance package, I have a date in mind mid-2014. And then ER for us.

This forum and the wonderful members have really help my clarity. I hope it helps you CherylGrrl, as well.
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