Afraid to Retire

[redduck]

Welcome,

As for the financial advisor, a 34 year successful relationship is rare. She got you to a place that it seems you weren't going to get to by yourself. And, it seems she is still taking good care of you as she has found someone whom will continue to guide you. Yeah, I understand that maybe if you did it yourself you perhaps would have $3 million now--but, then again, if you had made a bunch of financial blunders early on, who knows what you might have. Nice move.

 

[target2019]

Welcome aboard!

The long time advisor has performed well for you. Sounds like a good time to gather facts and make some estimates about your needs.

Are you comfortable paying in excess of 1.5 percent for the next 30 years?

Have you sought a second opinion about the current portfolio? Your advisor has done a fine job, but the next advisor may not.

 

[Live And Learn]

Hi CherylGrrl. I wish I could give you words of wisdom, but I can't. Since I was in my mid 20s I set a goal of retiring at 50. I'm pretty sure I could have done it but I totally chickened out and now have a target age of 52. They offered me an opporrunity to work from home, which has been glorious and has cut down on work stress and improved my work / life balance to a point where its acceptable. I do get a twinge of "I should have done it !" when I walk the dog in the morning and watch my neighbors getting into their golf carts, but on the whole, I think I made the right decision.

Part of me agrees with the others who have said "you'll KNOW when its time" but there is a part of me that says "no guts, no glory". Tough call and I'm rooting for you to stay with the class of 2014.

 

[CherylGrrl]

Part of me agrees with the others who have said "you'll KNOW when its time" but there is a part of me that says "no guts, no glory". Tough call and I'm rooting for you to stay with the class of 2014.

This is the crux of it! There's a point where you just have to take a breath and step off the cliff! I've taken big chances before in my life with great results, but somehow this one seems different because of the irrevocability.

I told my husband last night that I wanted to set the date, and that (later on) I'd like to explore DIY portfolio management. He kind of freaked out. I shouldn't have said it all at once...

 

[kaneohe]

Besides the OMY aspect which is semi-emotional, there is also the quantitative aspect. Have do done the analysis in Firecalc and what does it tell you about probability of success and what are your expectations in that regard? There is a nice chart here http://www.early-retirement.org/for...ccess-rate-yrs-retired-68606.html#post1363405

 

[CherylGrrl]

Besides the OMY aspect which is semi-emotional, there is also the quantitative aspect. Have do done the analysis in Firecalc and what does it tell you about probability of success and what are your expectations in that regard? There is a nice chart here http://www.early-retirement.org/for...ccess-rate-yrs-retired-68606.html#post1363405

100% success in Firecalc. Have also used many other tools over the last 5 years or so. The things that worry me are the unpredictable... like Congress shutting down government, going off the debt ceiling cliff, and ruining the global economy. (Oops, I guess I should move that scenario to the "predictable" column... )

At any rate, calculators are all built on the way the stock market used to work and I'm not so confident that the next 30 years will look anything like the last 30 years or any previous 30 years. "Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride" - Bette Davis as Margo Channing in "All About Eve".

 

[kaneohe]

100% success in Firecalc.

Since Firecalc maxes out at 100%, have you tried cutting back on your inputted assets to see how little you could have and still get 100% success rate. That would give you some feel as to how much overkill you have.

 

[CherylGrrl]

Since Firecalc maxes out at 100%, have you tried cutting back on your inputted assets to see how little you could have and still get 100% success rate. That would give you some feel as to how much overkill you have.

Lots of overkill as far as FIRECalc goes. I just need to cut the cord. I'm typing this while my boss goes yada, yada, yada on the phone wanting me to tell her that everything she says is right at almost 9 pm and I would really rather by curled up with DH watching Monarch of the Glen on Netflix.

 

[lhamo]

OP, can you experiment with just setting some firmer limits -- for yourself and your employer -- and see how that feels/works? I also struggle with not sacrificing myself to work, but I have found that when I do set limits and am very clear about my availability, people generally respect it. Maybe your area of business is different, but is your input really need 24/7, 100% of the time? Could they make do without you on a few occasions? Maybe now is a good time to experiment. Here is a suggestion. Book a weekend trip -- just 3 or 4 days, maybe leaning toward 3 to start out with -- to someplace where you will be out of phone/internet access for the entire time. Let everyone at work know you will be gone. DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE OR COMPUTER for work purposes for that entire time (might be best if you can leave them behind...). See how it feels and how the office reacted. Lather, rinse repeat, while stretching the length of the trips over time. If office freaks out, you can decide how to respond based on how YOU felt during those trips. Was it nice to be out of contact, spending time doing things with DH and giving each other your full attention? If so, and if office gives you a hard time, maybe it will be easier to say goodbye work, hello retirement. If office doesn't freak out, you have gotten more of the lifestyle you want without any major sacrifice and while still maintaining your nice gig. But you will probably find that YOU want more independence over time. You're in a fortunate position to call the shots here. And once you do, if you ever decide your nest egg isn't quite big enough, you can always start building up to an independent approach to managing your finances in the same way you weaned yourself away from work. No need to trap yourself in all or nothing thinking. Enjoy the freedom to experiment and try different things. You have earned it.

 

[lhamo]

PS: You have $2.5 million in assets. Those are pretty big financial shock absorbers for a bumpy ride.

 

[2B]

I told my husband last night that I wanted to set the date, and that (later on) I'd like to explore DIY portfolio management. He kind of freaked out. I shouldn't have said it all at once...

YES..YES..YES

At least we got you to think about it seriously. Please read Andrew Hallam's Millionaire Teacher and the William Bernstein's Investor's Manifesto. They are pretty easy reads and will tell you everything you need to know about DIY index investing.

Don't overwork it. Come back and you'll get more comments than you can imagine on people's differing approaches. It will be the easiest $25,000 to $50,000 you've ever made and it is repeated every year.

 

[pb4uski]

....And please, all those trying to get me to fire my financial advisor can just drop off this thread now. Please. I promise I'll consider it, but not at this pivotal time in my life. I sense that I can get constructive assistance from this forum, but I really am not interested in changing my approach to financial management RIGHT NOW. I really will take a serious look at this in a year. Thank you in advance for no more posting about this.

Certainly glad to respect your request. If you cut the cord, you can make a special project for yourself of learning more about DIY investing and taking the first steps to cutting the cord with your FA in your first year of retirement. No need to go cold turkey, especially if your're happy with the FA. Perhaps you can DIY your 401k (assuming you have one if you convert it to a tIRA).

 

[pb4uski]

....I also started yoga but I have a knee and a shoulder that probably need surgery and that makes it hard!....

If you decide to proceed with the surgery it might be better to do it before you retire and take advantage of whatever Megacorp benefits are available (sick time, ST disability or whatever).

One thing to consider is whether you might be able to carve out certain days where you are "off" and not available and can ignore calls and emails if you want to. I though about trying to carve out Mondays and Fridays so I would have 4 days off but unfortunately, the demands of our clients were such that it wouldn't work. At the rates our clients were paying, if they needed me for a consultation on a Thursday night an answer that I wouldn't be available until Tuesday wouldn't cut it (and I don't blame them).

 

[daylatedollarshort]

This is the crux of it! There's a point where you just have to take a breath and step off the cliff! I've taken big chances before in my life with great results, but somehow this one seems different because of the irrevocability.

I told my husband last night that I wanted to set the date, and that (later on) I'd like to explore DIY portfolio management. He kind of freaked out. I shouldn't have said it all at once...

I am glad to hear you are considering the DIY approach, but I would just like to remind you that it doesn't have to be 1+% or do it yourself. Investing doesn't sound like it would be an area you would feel comfortable 100% on your own, especially at first.

There are fee only planners that charge by the hour or low cost fund places like Fidelity that do not charge extra for planning help for clients that meet their minimum asset criteria.

 

[2B]

There are fee only planners that charge by the hour or low cost fund places like Fidelity that do not charge extra for planning help for clients that meet their minimum asset criteria.

Vanguard will do a no cost plan for people with account values that total $1MM or more. I've never bothered to get it done. I probably should. A fee only planner can certainly give you a plan for a few hundred dollars. Ether is a good start if you decide you don't want to totally go it alone. No matter what you do I recommend getting yourself educated by reading the books I suggested earlier.

 

[steelyman]

Vanguard will do a no cost plan for people with account values that total $1MM or more. I've never bothered to get it done. I probably should. A fee only planner can certainly give you a plan for a few hundred dollars. Ether is a good start if you decide you don't want to totally go it alone. No matter what you do I recommend getting yourself educated by reading the books I suggested earlier.

I thought ether was a gas.

 

[2B]

I thought ether was a gas.

Ether can be either a gas, liquid or solid depending on the temperature. I may have typos but I'm up on my chemical properties.

 

[CherylGrrl]

Ether is a good start if you decide you don't want to totally go it alone.

Thanks for the suggestion but I'd rather stick with a nice chardonnay!
Seriously everyone, I appreciate all the suggestions and am taking them all to heart!

The idea from pb4uski about setting aside time when I'm not available sounds so good. I'd be happy to start with no phone calls in the evening! Last night my boss called at 6 pm when I was exercising on my treadmill. I let it go to voicemail, so she texted me. I ignored it. After my husband and I had dinner, I called her back at about 8 pm. SHE TALKED UNTIL 11:15!

I just sigh and think, well, she's paying me $80 an hour to listen to her. Not exactly psychiatrist rates but not too bad! I wonder if she realizes that she wastes probably 25% of the time she's paying me for?

Here's another example of the difficulty with setting limits... Last May my husband and I spent the month in England and Scotland. We planned the trip in February and knowing that I would not want to be working halftime while trying to tour the UK I sent an email to the CEO letting her know I was planning the trip and asking if I could drop back to a 20% schedule for that month only, so I could handle email, keep things moving, etc. She wrote back saying that would be fine.

A week before leaving, we were on our regular weekly staff phone call and she reminded everyone that I was leaving for the UK so she wanted everybody to think about what projects they wanted me to take on and get them to me before I left. I reminded her that I was only going to be working the equivalent of 1 day a week, so there wouldn't be a lot of time for project work. She said I never told her I was cutting back my hours! This was on a call with everyone listening! I reminded her I had emailed her in February and she agreed to the reduction. She said she had no idea I wasn't going to keep up my regular schedule. After the call, I searched my email and forwarded her the entire exchange, including her explicit agreement. She responded that if she had known we'd be so busy she would not have agreed. But I found out later from one of my co-workers that the whole time I was gone she continually made comments about how I never told her I was cutting back my hours.

So you can see the problem about setting limits. I'm working for someone not completely rational who needs to be "in control". If I make myself available, tell her what she wants to hear, and am very responsive 18 hours a day by phone/email/text I can keep this nice gig going. But it is very stressful and I'd rather be enjoying life. So it might be 20 hours of work but 7/24 commitment.

I just finished watching all the morning shows and looking at how the stock market has lost 700 points in the last 2 weeks and am thinking this looks like a bad time to make the retirement move...

 

[Meadbh]

Cheryl, this sounds worse than a full time job. Your boss does not appear to respect your time. No job is worth being on call 24/7/365. My suggestion would be to get a written contract that specifies the hours you work (if you don't already have one) and then to stick to it. Document every minute of your time devoted to work. If you are contracted to work 20 hours per week, then don't engage with her on the 21st hour unless you make it quite clear that she is now using time borrowed from next week. Be firm. Turn the smartphone OFF when you are not working, even if you have to get a separate one for personal use.

 

[pb4uski]

One of the nice things about being part time was that I could fairly easily duck unpleasant assignments. If one came along that was going to be time consuming, I would just remind the boss that he had 1000 hours of my time a year and did he REALLY want to use some of it on [task I didn't want to do]. 9 times out of 10 he would agree to assign it to someone else. I used this to get out of a lot of admin BS.

On the boss part, it is sometimes hard for those who are 24/7/365 to recognize those of us who are not - they just naturally assume that everyone is the same as they are.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

You actually still do have other options than quit or keep this job, and that would be to find a career you might enjoy with a more flexible or self determined work schedule.

 

[Bestwifeever]

You actually still do have other options than quit or keep this job, and that would be to find a career you might enjoy with a more flexible or self determined work schedule.

+1.

 

[Walt34]

So you can see the problem about setting limits.

This reminds me of a well-done "Going Traveling" memo written to a similar boss. It detailed her plans of going spelunking in South American caves (no radio, satellite communication, etc.) and gave explicit instructions on how to reach her. The instructions involved going to some small village, finding "Pedro" when he was sober, who in turn would arrange a mule and a messenger. This would take at least a week, probably longer.

The underlying message was clear: "I'm on vacation. Leave me alone!"

 

[CoolChange]

This reminds me of a well-done "Going Traveling" memo written to a similar boss. It detailed her plans of going spelunking in South American caves (no radio, satellite communication, etc.) and gave explicit instructions on how to reach her. The instructions involved going to some small village, finding "Pedro" when he was sober, who in turn would arrange a mule and a messenger. This would take at least a week, probably longer.

The underlying message was clear: "I'm on vacation. Leave me alone!"

Thank you so much! Now I have my next out of office auto-responder message, maybe just for internal email, maybe not.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Cool, if you do it, please give us the reactions! I thought about adding carrier pigeon instructions for my out of office this summer, but "chickened" out.