Depression After Resigning

[JohnP]

Hey Rob... Welcome back.* I remember your posts from earlier.

I'm retired now for almost 3 years and only now comfortable that it'll be ok financially.* In my case, it was mainly only fear of the unknown.* When I read your posts today and remember the earlier ones, I keep being drawn back to your comments about always living at your school.

I remember my own apprehension in '68 when I finished my MS Thesis, had my party, and didn't know what was happening next.* No job, rented house, everything else was up in the air.* Well, Uncle Sam picked me up in a month (USAF) and I had a focus.*

Were I in your shoes, I'd have apprehensions too.* I suspect you’ll be expected to leave campus next June and find other quarters, probably for the first time, with no job, no apartment, no coworkers, etc.* This would be a big set of stressors for anyone.* *

You may want to work these situations out in your mind one at a time - I'd first check out available apartments near your current work to see if they were compatible with how you forsee your retirement "lifestyle".*

Best Regards

JohnP

[Rob]

Hi-
I just woke up, since it is 12 hours ahead in Singapore. All your posts seems to have the same themes to my situation, and I guess everyone else's situation when they resign.* Get meaning in your life, think to the future, and we're all different.*

What I found so difficult about teaching full time is the expectations that parents, students and administrators have for the teacher.* My school is the best.* The best can sometimes be draining for those that are part of it.* It's not the teaching I dislike, but it is the long hours and the feeling that it is never quite enough.* I am so tired of the papers to grade.* Imagine grading 120 essay tests asking the same question, and you have to grade that 2 or 3 times a week for 30 years.* Unfortunately, I can't just be an average teacher.* I need to be the best I can be, and if I cannot, then alas, well, I resign.

One person here posted that working part-time might be less of the "bad" but* still "bad". The difference is when I work part-time, I am in a self-employed status.* *Somehow, the idea of not being under contract,* but willing to teach for a few months at a* time would be very nice.* I really do love Singapore.* I've been here for 17 years now.* A car is not nesessary, and the food is cheap.* Where else could you get a GREAT Chinese dinner for under $2.* Therefore, my pension of $42,000 moving up to $60,000 when I am 65 should be plenty?* I don't know.

As for the person that mentioned infllation, I HOPE that I can save a substantial part of my retirement income and feed it into some mutual funds, that I can tap into later in my 70's.* Is that smart?* I'm single, and I live a pretty simple lifestyle.

I wanted to hear from you all that I am OK financially, and while I feel sad and a little uncertain about whether I made the right decision, I should not worry about financial survival.* I THINK that I have enough to live on without work, but I LOVE to work part-time and not have the obligations of a contract as I have for the past 30 years.* In Singapore I could also be a substitute teacher in any of the 4 or 5 international schools, and that would allow me to say "no" if they called me up in the morning and I was busy.

As for the persons that agrees that it is great in the NE USA,* I agree.* I lean toward moving to Maine or Northern Vermont when I truly do quit the workforce.* However, I love Quebec.* The rent in NE Canada is very reasonable.* I sort of like the reasonable medical insurance I have now, and so I hesiatate to relocate now.

Time for another cup of coffee ..... Appreciate your responses immensely!

Rob

[kat]

Rob, New York has a state-mandated program where insurance companies have to offer affordable health plans to small business and solo proprietors below a certain income. And there's a crying need for ESL teachers, including upstate.

File it away somewhere. I'm sure the whole Northeast and Canada have some similar situations. Your life in Singapore sounds very rewarding, and congratulations on such a long and accomplished career!

kate

[dumpster56]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Hi- I just woke up, since it is 12 hours ahead in Singapore. All your posts seems to have the same themes to my situation, and I guess everyone else's situation when they resign. Get meaning in your life, think to the future, and we're all different. What I found so difficult about teaching full time is the expectations that parents, students and administrators have for the teacher. My school is the best. The best can sometimes be draining for those that are part of it. It's not the teaching I dislike, but it is the long hours and the feeling that it is never quite enough. I am so tired of the papers to grade. Imagine grading 120 essay tests asking the same question, and you have to grade that 2 or 3 times a week for 30 years. Unfortunately, I can't just be an average teacher. I need to be the best I can be, and if I cannot, then alas, well, I resign. One person here posted that working part-time might be less of the "bad" but still "bad". The difference is when I work part-time, I am in a self-employed status. Somehow, the idea of not being under contract, but willing to teach for a few months at a time would be very nice. I really do love Singapore. I've been here for 17 years now. A car is not nesessary, and the food is cheap. Where else could you get a GREAT Chinese dinner for under $2. Therefore, my pension of $42,000 moving up to $60,000 when I am 65 should be plenty? I don't know. As for the person that mentioned infllation, I HOPE that I can save a substantial part of my retirement income and feed it into some mutual funds, that I can tap into later in my 70's. Is that smart? I'm single, and I live a pretty simple lifestyle. I wanted to hear from you all that I am OK financially, and while I feel sad and a little uncertain about whether I made the right decision, I should not worry about financial survival. I THINK that I have enough to live on without work, but I LOVE to work part-time and not have the obligations of a contract as I have for the past 30 years. In Singapore I could also be a substitute teacher in any of the 4 or 5 international schools, and that would allow me to say "no" if they called me up in the morning and I was busy. As for the persons that agrees that it is great in the NE USA, I agree. I lean toward moving to Maine or Northern Vermont when I truly do quit the workforce. However, I love Quebec. The rent in NE Canada is very reasonable. I sort of like the reasonable medical insurance I have now, and so I hesiatate to relocate now. Time for another cup of coffee ..... Appreciate your responses immensely! Rob

Rob,

I have that feeling in the back of my mind, the feeling is not a depression but as someone said a fear of the unknown.

But then I think, 20+ years ago after I got married and had two wonderful step children ages 6 and 8 and LOST MY JOB! Rent was 1000 a month lost my Health Insurance the wife was still in Nursing school. THAT WAS SCARY!!

Today, with a large amount of home equity and the pension with medical bennies no debt, I cannot believe how much credit card debt americans have!! I feel like I am about to be SET FREE from my EXILE!

My High School is an inner city mess. Newark, NJ

I wrote a response up in my crazy thread.

My son is now teaching up outside of Boston at a small college the daughter is a pediatrician in the northeast so they are Fine and both married. So I just remember that day in the early 80s with my PINK SLIP and say I am going to LEAVE THIS JOB and do something for myself!

Part time fun work, selling Kayaks, Bikes, Running shoes, coach a track team, I have been a successful high school track coach for 20 years so I still run many miles a day and even still run races.

I wnt to paint , write and heck have a new life in a warmer climate. New England is beautiful. The area we are headed to is also a nice spot, in addition it takes my wife back home to her southern roots. Family her parents and brothers and sister are there.

Hey I am ready!! And ONLY 50!!!!!

If I never worked a day after age 62 my pension the wifes pension and social security would mean close to 55,000 a year when we are in our early 60s, so with no mortgage, If we cannot live on a 1000 dollars a week well something is wrong!!

31,000 plus about 4000 from investments right now and a part time job making 15,000 well 50,000 now is very do able.

I will have more money after I quit than I have now!!!

After the mortgage, 8,000 dollar a year real estate tax bill a year on my home, the car payments yes my drive is over 100 miles a day gasoline costs high cost of living in the new jersey new york city area well you get my sunday morning ramble after too much tequila last night!!

[MRGALT2U]

Quote:

Originally Posted by newguy88 my sunday morning ramble after too much tequila last night!!

I have taken many a "morning ramble" after "too much tequila", and
other unwise consumption. Hemingway called it
"gastric remorse".

JG

[Rob]

Well, another morning in Singapore.* Just woke up.* I have off three weeks for Christmas break.* I have the greatest job in the world around this time of year and in late May, just before a 2 month summer break.* Some people ask why I would not like that set-up.* They don't realize the other 9 months and grading papers every weekend.* *I know I'm doing the right thing, but my only hang-up with all this is that for the past 18 years my school has paid for a beautiful condo with all facilities, and I'm covered medically totally.* I lose all that.* I now have to rent myself (which I can afford). and I have to get my own insurance (which I can also afford).* However, all that money that I am spending on rent and insurance would have gone into my retirement plan, and instead I'm using my retirement plan to pay for it.* That hurts a little.* I can still save and re-invest, but not as much.

Maybe 59 is not so early to semi-retire. It seems like just yesterday my father, who is now 85 years old, retired from Eastern Airlines.* All pilots are required are to retire even now at 60.*

Every post I read from you all is sincere, genuine and compassionate.* Thank you.

Rob

[dumpster56]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Well, another morning in Singapore. Just woke up. I have off three weeks for Christmas break. I have the greatest job in the world around this time of year and in late May, just before a 2 month summer break. Some people ask why I would not like that set-up. They don't realize the other 9 months and grading paers every weekend. I know I'm doing the right thing, but my only hang-up with all this is that for the past 18 years my school has paid for a beautiful condo with all facilities, and I'm covered medically totally. I lose all that. I now have to rent myself (which I can afford). and I have to get my own insurance (which I can also afford). However, all that money that I am spending on rent and insurance would have gone into my retirement plan, and instead I'm using my retirement plan to pay for it. That hurts a little. I can still save and re-invest, but not as much. Maybe 59 is not so early to semi-retire. It seems like just yesterday my father, who is not 85 years old, retired from Eastern Airlines. All pilots are required are to retire even now at 60. Every post I read from you all is sincere, genuine and compassionate. Thank you. Rob You have had an interesting and probably better career in education than I have had here in the states. I will be 50 and look at my leaving a new begining. By the way my sister has spent a bunch of time in Singapore visiting her brotherin law and his family. He works for a large bank and has moved his wife and young family to the city state. They also love the place. Very different from the NYC area. Good luck my friend, chin up!

Singapore is not Paradise, iIt is very small and the humidity can be unbearable.

Very strict controls on its' citizens, most people will use the word sterile to describe it.

Cost of living is very high compared to most countries in that area.

It is fun to visit, get drunk at the Tiger Bar, have a meal at Raffles, tour the Island, but after 2 weeks , you run out of things to do.

Strong British traditions, BEAUTIFUL women.

[AltaRed]

Rob, I think you are really ready to make a change in your life and thus you have made a good choice. Since you like Singapore, hang around there for awhile, see and do the things you never had time for while working your tail off full time. Work part time under contract when the mood suits you. There is no need to catch the first plane out of town. You will know when the time comes to do just that.

I am retiring end of April next year at 57 and will be re-locating back to Western Canada from my work assignment in the USA. It took me a full year to make that decision. Additional money is always nice, but life is way too short on this planet and that has become of considerably more value than another 4-5k per year. I fully intend to hang loose for awhile, breath in the fresh air of the Rockies, smell the roses and do some hiking. I have no idea how long that will last, but when it is time to do something else, I will.

[MRGALT2U]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AltaRed Rob, I think you are really ready to make a change in your life and thus you have made a good choice.* Since you like Singapore, hang around there for awhile, see and do the things you never had time for while working your tail off full time.* Work part time under contract when the mood suits you.* There is no need to catch the first plane out of town.* You will know when the time comes to do just that. I am retiring end of April next year at 57 and will be re-locating back to Western Canada from my work assignment in the USA.* It took me a full year to make that decision.* Additional money is always nice, but life is way too short on this planet and that has become of considerably more value than another 4-5k per year.* I fully intend to hang loose for awhile, breath in the fresh air of the Rockies, smell the roses and do some hiking.* I have no idea how long that will last, but when it is time to do something else, I will.

I wanted to get this in here. This is as good a thread as any.

My wife works in a nursing home. Since I am in there from time to time,
I have gotten to know some of the residents. One of them had a birthday
yesterday, so I stopped by just to say hello. She was born in 1939
which makes her 66. Not too unusual. However, she has been there for 14 years! Massive stroke. She is confined to a wheelchair and on oxygen.

I assume this little story delivers it's own message.

JG

[MRGALT2U]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob * Every post I read from you all is sincere, genuine and compassionate.* Thank you. Rob I must have missed this thread. In any event, you're welcome. JG

[Dawg52]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Maybe 59 is not so early to semi-retire. It seems like just yesterday my father, who is now 85 years old, retired from Eastern Airlines.* All pilots are required are to retire even now at 60.* Every post I read from you all is sincere, genuine and compassionate.* Thank you. Rob

59 is by no means too early to semi or fully retire. I'm retiring at the end of 2006 and will be 52. Good luck with whatever you decide!*

[Billy]

Hi Rob,

I think you are getting great advice here from everyone.* With any big change, there is always a bit of grieving for the way life used to be, even if that life had its own challenges and wasn't perfect.

You now have the opportunity to reinvent yourself and describe yourself in different terms other than your career. Focus on things that you love to do, add structure to your new life, and get involved.

Quote:

My attitude is I am not retiring. I'm just entering a different phase of my life.

Exactly. You've said it yourself.

Quote:

I know I'm doing the right thing, but my only hang-up with all this is that for the past 18 years my school has paid for a beautiful condo with all facilities, and I'm covered medically totally. I lose all that. I now have to rent myself (which I can afford). and I have to get my own insurance (which I can also afford). However, all that money that I am spending on rent and insurance would have gone into my retirement plan, and instead I'm using my retirement plan to pay for it. That hurts a little. I can still save and re-invest, but not as much.

Maybe you can get some vigorous exercise to beef up your endorphins. You mind will clear, and you will see that you still have a great life, even if you have to pay for it yourself.* *

Good luck.

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

[MRGALT2U]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MRGALT2U I love being retired. *What I hate is getting older. *That sucks! I have written about my older (than me) friends who seem to really enjoy their work and have no discernable plans to retire. *The one who did retire at 62 is back working almost full time now. *There are six (6) of these guys in total, and they have one thing in common.............they all are self employed or own their own business. * JG

Had lunch today with 2 of these guys. Kind of an annual
holiday event. After we discussed our ailments, we did touch on
retirement. One guy says "6 months". Claims he has two (2)
buyers competing to buy his small business. He is my age.
The other guy is pushing 70 and seems to have no plans to
quit. I really think he enjoys working (he is really only PT now).
Also, I think he is worried about too much togetherness with his
wife. I can see that could be trouble. Maybe a good topic here?
Anyone?

JG

[Honkie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Imagine grading 120 essay tests asking the same question, and you have to grade that 2 or 3 times a week for 30 years.*

I can imagine....so how many "la's" at the end of a sentence have you had to cross out over the years??* *

Cheers

Honkie

[Billy]

Rob:

Quote:

I know I'm doing the right thing, but my only hang-up with all this is that for the past 18 years my school has paid for a beautiful condo with all facilities, and I'm covered medically totally. I lose all that. I now have to rent myself (which I can afford). and I have to get my own insurance (which I can also afford). However, all that money that I am spending on rent and insurance would have gone into my retirement plan, and instead I'm using my retirement plan to pay for it. That hurts a little. I can still save and re-invest, but not as much.

Rob, I know I repeated your quote here, but the other day while we were going up to Mae Sai for a border run, I was thinking about it again.

Please take my comment with all the kindness and sincerity with which it is being offered here --* * *You have great abundance. You have money, your health, you are smart with talents and abilities. It seems to me that you are coming from a place of feeling like "it's not enough".* ** I know that is a place we all can visit from time to time...

Maybe if you were to volunteer a little with those who are less fortunate, you will be able to find a certain strength and gratitude inside yourself. You have much to offer and many will never see that much in their whole lives.* *

I wish you the very best!

JG said:

Quote:

Also, I think he is worried about too much togetherness with his wife.* I can see that could be trouble.* Maybe a good topic here? Anyone?

Gosh, we have a whole chapter about that in our book! I wouldn't know anything about that -- does anyone else have experience with this? Great topic of discussion..* *

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

[BUM]

Hi Rob,

Welcome. Tough Love time...Best advice...The holidays are about over. Snap out of it. Visit the woodlands outside of Binghampton, NY. They're giving the land away since industry has vanished. Go watch the deer and antelope (mostly deer) play.

For the winter bravehearts Essex County can be a perfect place to build a Fortress of Solitude.

I'm putting the snowshovel away and heading to the beach in a couple weeks. 8)

[Rob]

All your suggestions and insights are appreciated. I can afford to look for part-time work and not care about the salary, so teaching in poorer schools or seeing other parts of Asia for brief periods of time teaching the disadvantaged and helping out is what I'd like to do.* I have to fight the inclination to get prepared for that now, but instead first leave my current place of employment, settle down and enjoy some totally free time, and then look.* There should be no rush to go from one job to another job, even if it is part-time and altruistic in nature.

Well, it's Christmas eve.* Merry Christmas!!!!

[MRGALT2U]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob All your suggestions and insights are appreciated. I can afford to look for part-time work and not care about the salary, so teaching in poorer schools or seeing other parts of Asia for brief periods of time teaching the disadvantaged and helping out is what I'd like to do.* I have to fight the inclination to get prepared for that now, but instead first leave my current place of employment, settle down and enjoy some totally free time, and then look.* There should be no rush to go from one job to another job, even if it is part-time and altruistic in nature. Well, it's Christmas eve.* Merry Christmas!!!!

Merry Christmas to you as well, and here is a thought along the same
lines as your "plan" above. DW and I are heading south in a couple of weeks. First time. Big experiment. Both a little nervous about it.
I suggested that she look at it this way. At a minimum she will get
2 months off from a job she dislikes and will spend it it warmer climes.
Seems to me that could be a pretty good deal all by itself.
BTW, paraphrasing now.............I think Jesus said something like
"Do not worry about tomorrow. Today will provide enough worries
of its own." Something like that. Good advice.

JG

[Eagle43]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BUM Hi Rob, Welcome.* Tough Love time...Best advice...The holidays are about over. Snap out of it. Visit the woodlands outside of Binghampton, NY. They're giving the land away since industry has vanished. Go watch the deer and antelope (mostly deer) play. *8)

This is excellent advice.* Best solution for depression is to "do something".* Most anything will do, but the best is something that requires you to be involved, creative, and thinking.* Read "Flow" by Mikhail Csikszentmihalyi. Try this link to get a little taste:* http://www.unrealities.com/essays/flow.htm

Quote: Contrary to expectation, "flow" usually happens not during relaxing moments of leisure and entertainment, but rather when we are actively involved in a difficult enterprise, in a task that stretches our mental and physical abilities. Any activity can do it. Working on a challenging job, riding the crest of a tremendous wave, and teaching one's child the letters of the alphabet are the kinds of experiences that focus our whole being in a harmonious rush of energy, and lift us out of the anxieties and boredom that characterize so much of everyday life.

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