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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-02-2006, 06:51 PM   #41
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Re: Don't know what to do

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Originally Posted by Corporateburnout
Dream,

I am new to this board. I can tell you that I have decided this past weekend to quit my middle management position that pays me about 150k/year because I have been miserable the last few months. Working extremely long hours with no end in sight. I am fed up with corporate america and want a change. I came to the conclusion that my health, my family and my sanity are much more important that money. I know that I can't afford to retire unless if I move to a cheaper area of the country where I can realize the profit from selling my house and buying a cheaper one there but my wife is not ready yet. I plan to take a few months off since my DW increased her work hours to qualify for health benefits then look for less stressfull work knowing well that I will take a substantial pay cut.

My advice to you is to get out and don't look back. If your health and your family is more important to you then it should be an easy decision............
I'm glad to hear that you're making a choice that you believe will make you happier in the long run. As with others my health and family are more important, but I still have an obligation to pay the bills and look after my family. I hope that I can retire and do both at the same time.
I'm finding that in order to make my dream come true, I'll have to make the most of what money we've been able to save up. I've got to make it last a lifetime.

Good luck to you and you're family.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 07:11 AM   #42
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Re: Don't know what to do

Well, I asked my wife if we could spend some time and have a serious talk about me retiring and she thought it was a good idea. After about 3 hours of very serious emotional conversation, she told me that I've been very unhappy for many years, and we've been able to save what most people save in a lifetime. That was the reason she decided to work (only part time was available) part time, and she would be willing even to work full time if cash flow becomes a problem, but ultimately, she thinks that I should stop working and take all the time off I feel I need." I used the word ďretire" and her exact response were, ďif you can generate enough investment income off of our principal amount to live comfortably so that we don't have to touch our principal. Then take all the time off that you want." She also said that I should keep an open mind that the market may not do as well as I'd hoped and that I may have to find a part time job if necessary." She told me that by me not being happy all these years, it's also affected the way she feels. She says that I deserve to be happy and that she only worries that I'll get bored........My answer to the boredom statement was.......there is not hope in hell I will ever get bored. There are so many things that I have neglected over the last 20 years that could occupy my time for at least the next 4 years without even making a list.

People, friendís acquaintances.......I want her to retire with me, I donít know it thatís possible at this point in time. Either way, please give me you're thoughts. Have I read too much into that conversation?
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 07:15 AM   #43
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Re: Don't know what to do

No, I think your wife was straight with you and you now have her blessing. This is a very good thing.

So run with it. She told you she is on board in no uncertain terms, and that she is willing to work to make it happen. Be happy: you have avery supportive spouse.

One word of advice, which you will likely learn in time: don't get hung up on not invading principal. Once you diversify away from GICs, you will be investing in "total return" (i.e. capital gains as well as investment income) vehicles, and the line between principal and income will get increasingly fuzzy.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 08:05 AM   #44
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Re: Don't know what to do

brewer12345

No, I think your wife was straight with you and you now have her blessing

I hope she still feels that way in years to come, but I think that will depend on how I handle things while at home also.

don't get hung up on not invading principal. Once you diversify away from GICs, you will be investing in "total return" (i.e. capital gains as well as investment income) vehicles, and the line between principal and income will get increasingly fuzzy.

The way my mindset works is....... that if I start reducing the principal amount then, my investment strategy isn't working, therfore I need to change my strategy. I'm not good at investing, only saving, but as long as I don't touch principal, and still live a comfortable life, then I can stay retired.

Thanks for your comment brewer12345

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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 08:32 AM   #45
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Re: Don't know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Dream
Well, I asked my wife if we could spend some time and have a serious talk about me retiring and she thought it was a good idea. After about 3 hours of very serious emotional conversation, she told me that I've been very unhappy for many years, and we've been able to save what most people save in a lifetime. That was the reason she decided to work (only part time was available) part time, and she would be willing even to work full time if cash flow becomes a problem, but ultimately, she thinks that I should stop working and take all the time off I feel I need." I used the word ďretire" and her exact response were, ďif you can generate enough investment income off of our principal amount to live comfortably so that we don't have to touch our principal. Then take all the time off that you want." She also said that I should keep an open mind that the market may not do as well as I'd hoped and that I may have to find a part time job if necessary." She told me that by me not being happy all these years, it's also affected the way she feels. She says that I deserve to be happy and that she only worries that I'll get bored........My answer to the boredom statement was.......there is not hope in hell I will ever get bored. There are so many things that I have neglected over the last 20 years that could occupy my time for at least the next 4 years without even making a list.

People, friendís acquaintances.......I want her to retire with me, I donít know it thatís possible at this point in time. Either way, please give me you're thoughts. Have I read too much into that conversation?
She obviously loves you very much....... What she is telling you is speaking directly to her "security" issue. Women in general want more security than men. They want less risk in their lives. So, give her that. When the bills are being paid on time and the checks are coming in every month, she will relax, and so will you.

Sounds like a GREAT time to teach your kids about MONEY and living on a BUDGET.........
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 12:16 PM   #46
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Re: Don't know what to do

FinanceDude

When the bills are being paid on time and the checks are coming in every month, she will relax, and so will you.

Well then I guess my new job is to be a Househusband. First things first,I'm going to try to educate myself on trying to get the most out of our portfolio. Hopefully members here can help.

Sounds like a GREAT time to teach your kids about MONEY and living on a BUDGET.........

Funny you should say that, we started teaching our 2 kids about saving and budgeting since the age of around 9. My oldest son is 16 and has a job, and has been able to get some toys sort of speak and still save up around $7,000 so far. He says it's for a car.........ya.........ok! I say it's for education..................his answer is ....No ........No..or as the new saying goes........Deuce........Ahhhhhh to be young again.....
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 04:12 PM   #47
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Re: Don't know what to do

My Dream,

I can really relate to your feelings and how pressurized it can get. Iím a small business owner and a crappy manager so Iíve had to put in a ton of hours over the past 21 + years to make a success of it. Iíve been struggling with many of the same things you have mentioned and there are times when it can get very depressing and it can seem like thereís no way out of the vicious work cycle. For me some of it has been a fear of getting out to early and maybe leaving too much on the table. Iíve always worried about having ďenough moneyĒ but now Iím starting to think a lot more about having a good life. Donít beat yourself up to much, I think youíre just knee deep in the middle of the process of making some serious life changes and these decisions can be gut wrenching. This board is a great way to get some excellent feedback, good variety of views, and solid advice. Sounds to me like youíre moving in the right direction.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 04:31 PM   #48
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Re: Don't know what to do

I think I've come to a point in my life where as I either jump back into the job 100% again and give up my personal life as well as my marriage and kids. And when I do have time to rest, I come to the realization that I'm unhappy and depressed. I'm stepping back now and saying to myself. I want my life back. I want to spend time with my family, and except the fact that I won't be rich. Rather richness will come from the friends and family I have come to realize.

Such is life.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-03-2006, 04:50 PM   #49
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Re: Don't know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Dream
I think I've come to a point in my life where as I either jump back into the job 100% again and give up my personal life as well as my marriage and kids. And when I do have time to rest, I come to the realization that I'm unhappy and depressed. I'm stepping back now and saying to myself. I want my life back. I want to spend time with my family, and except the fact that I won't be rich. Rather richness will come from the friends and family I have come to realize.

Such is life.
That's the whole "Your Money or Your Life" philosophy after a book by Joe Domeguez. Basically it states that things will not make you happy. The pursuit of lots of things however, just may ruin you. Getting caught up in the ratrace just to buy stuff that you really don't need, that won't make you happy is just not smart.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-04-2006, 10:25 PM   #50
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Re: Don't know what to do

My Dream:

I'm just a lurker. I have no professional experience, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I respond because I have some things in common with you.

1. I have spent the last 30 years working my butt off with only one goal, to provide for my family. I'm retiring soon, and I worry, like you that I may not have enough. But heres the thing. After 30 years, I'm not sure I really know how I'm gonna feel about being retired until it happens. It will be a whole new lifestyle experience. I don't believe anyone can tell you what it's gonna be like because everyone responds differently. One thing for sure, however, I'll bet that I (and you, too) will be a completely different person in 2-3 years. I say that because what I say and feel now (in anticipation of retirement) is not going to be the same after 2-3 years (maybe even less than 2-3 years). What's my point? I can't project any gloom and doom for myself 20 years down the road, because things will change.
I won't be the same person. How do I know that maybe in 2-3 years I might WANT to work a little and produce some income? Do I really think that I'll never produce any more income again? I don't know. It's a big 'maybe'. You can't predict how you're gonna feel with such a significant lifestyle change.
2. Time is on my side (and yours, too). I don't buy this magic formula of having to have a fixed income every year, and add some for inflation. Some years I'll need more, some less. Sometimes I'll take an expensive vacation, some a cheap vacation.
Expenses will vary. YOU will have a significant decrease in expenses when your kids grow up and start to provide for themselves. I guess my point is that 'needed annual income' is not predictable. It's always gonna change, so be a little flexible.
3. This kinda goes with #2, but the experts will tell you that you should not burn more than 4% of your savings per year. But what would be the harm in taking some extra the first year or two? You're suffering from burn out. You need to get healthy, so if you took 6% instead of 4% for a year or two, I wouldn't worry about it. If after 2 years of retirement, you could re-evaluate your financial situation and make changes if you like, but right now, it's important that you chill out for a while, get healthy, I don't know if it will take 1-2-3 years, but I guarantee that after a period of time, you'll be a different person and you'll look at your situation differently and look at the world and your future in a much more positive light.
4. appreciate your family, it sounds like you are very fortunate, not everyone has a wife as nice as yours. I also appreciate the fact that I (and you, too) have options. some people are in our situation and have no options. Celebrate your successes, don't dwell on possible problems 20 years down the road. You're still a young guy, you've got too much of your life ahead of you.

In general, my advice is....take two years off and get healthy, see how your outlook on life changes. reevaluate your financial situation at that time.

good luck
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 09:14 AM   #51
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Re: Don't know what to do

Well, I'm officially retired, I haven't told anyone other than my DW which she felt I didn't have a choice. The reason for not telling anyone is that.......well........ Iím actually embarrassed about what I've chosen to do. As odd as that may sound, another reason may be that I'm not prepared for the question that Iím sure will come up such as...

- How are you going to live money wise.........don't know right now.
-Why have you decided to retire.......................don't really want to get into that
-I though you had a great job........................not going to tell them the whole story
-But you were so busy..................................yaw........a nd had not life.
-What are you going to do now......................when I figure it out; my family will be the first to know


Well, I think you got the point.

I've made many drastic changes in my life, such as going from white collar right out of college, to blue collar (whole different trade) since the money was better, to now learning how to cook and do laundry which is all new to me. But the hardest off all will be to learn the world of investing and scariest since it's with our life's savings Iím going to be practicing with.

At this point, all I can do is hope and pray that I don't let my family down which is my greatest fear. Once I've got some sort of balance and hopefully got the most of our portfolio, I can then be proud to say........................Hey........I'm retired, and have the answers to the questions that will inevitably come up. As my DW always tells me.........Your glass is half full!

Wish me luck.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 09:24 AM   #52
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Re: Don't know what to do

Congratulation! You'll do fine.

So, share with us the positive side of being FREE!
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 09:38 AM   #53
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Re: Don't know what to do

MD, you'll do great. Just take the investing thing slow, read up, and ask a lot of questions. On the cooking front, you may inally discover what people were doing in all those kitchens you installed! I love to cook and not having the time at the monet is one of the things that detracts from quality of life for me. Maybe you will find a new joy in life...

As for all the hypothetical questions, how about just telling people who ask that you are taking a sabbatical?
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 09:43 AM   #54
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Re: Don't know what to do

Hey - Congratulations!
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 09:50 AM   #55
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Re: Don't know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by albundyz
...3. This kinda goes with #2, but the experts will tell you that you should not burn more than 4% of your savings per year. But what would be the harm in taking some extra the first year or two? You're suffering from burn out. You need to get healthy, so if you took 6% instead of 4% for a year or two, I wouldn't worry about it. If after 2 years of retirement, you could re-evaluate your financial situation and make changes if you like, but right now, it's important that you chill out for a while, get healthy, I don't know if it will take 1-2-3 years, but I guarantee that after a period of time, you'll be a different person and you'll look at your situation differently and look at the world and your future in a much more positive light...
In 1995, I left my wife and moved to the west coast to rediscover myself. Lived off savings for 2 years, then went back to a different kind of work in 1997 here. I have never regretted that move even though it was expensive.

Having yourself altogether is much more important than just having your finances altogether.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 10:18 AM   #56
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Re: Don't know what to do

MyDream,

Congratulation and Wishing the best.

We have some similarities but I don't have the gut to hang it up yet, just five more years.

Mach1
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 10:18 AM   #57
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Re: Don't know what to do

Rich_in_Tampa

So, share with us the positive side of being FREE!

At the moment I have so many mixed emotions since my plan was to retire 3.5 years from now. If I take a moment right not to think about it, I'd say,

-not having to wake up at 5:15 am every weekday.
-the stress level and work load has been reduced by about 90%.
-being able to rediscover my life since cashing in my get of jail card.
-above all, spending a tremendous amount of time with my DW and kids.....Priceless!


brewer12345

MD, you'll do great. Just take the investing thing slow, read up, and ask a lot of questions.

You'll all be sorry brewer12345 suggested that.


As for all the hypothetical questions, how about just telling people who ask that you are taking a sabbatical?

Thanks for that suggestion...........I going to use it.


I will keep you all posted.



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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 10:24 AM   #58
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Re: Don't know what to do

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Originally Posted by My Dream
MD, you'll do great. Just take the investing thing slow, read up, and ask a lot of questions.

You'll all be sorry brewer12345 suggested that.
Heh, not really. Knowitalls wither if someone doesn;t ask questions on a regular basis.
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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 10:52 AM   #59
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Re: Don't know what to do

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Originally Posted by brewer12345
Heh, not really. Knowitalls wither if someone doesn;t ask questions on a regular basis.
That's why I keep asking..........

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Re: Don't know what to do
Old 10-06-2006, 11:01 AM   #60
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Re: Don't know what to do

Dreamer,

Just so you know: you are allowed to ask as many questions as you want, but you are bound on penalty of death to share with the group any insights, surprising tidbits, or other shareable observations you glean from the process.

It's a two way street and those of us who haven't yet pulled the trigger await your soon-to-be-acquired wisdom, financial or otherwise.
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