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Old 08-10-2016, 02:14 PM   #21
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Get your employment contract looked at by a lawyer. Most non-compete clauses are unenforceable, as they can't take away your ability to make a living.
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:17 PM   #22
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Yes, the only valid "non-compete" agreements are the ones that come with a big payout and are for a set time only.

They are paying you to not compete for that time.
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:23 PM   #23
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I think that for a subject of this importance you should both be in agreement for marital harmony. You might be able to convince her if you work up a detailed financial plan that covers all your expenses with inflation, college for your daughters, and additional funds to cover potential unknowns.
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:36 PM   #24
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I don't think it is fair that you have to keep working if you have enough $. I have had a few friends die in their 50-60's. If you don't retire and get diagnosed with terminal cancer a year from now are you going to be resentful? If the answer is yes I think you should have a frank talk where you tell her time is guaranteed to no one and you want to use the time you have now. I can't imagine that this would destroy a long time, strong marriage.
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:37 PM   #25
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..............
Just telling a spouse to "live with it" isn't a peaceful solution.And pegging a spouse with some concerns about money and providing things for her kids "somewhat abusive" is not accurate IMO.
I don't buy it. Insisting that a spouse work when they don't need to is coercive and corrosive to the relationship. The OP is supposed to suck it up and be unhappy until he gets permission to do what makes him happy so his wife doesn't have to go though the hard work of understanding their true financial position. Were the sexes reversed in this discussion, I think the guy would be seen as a bully.
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:42 PM   #26
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....
Girls college is completely funded. I am of the philosophy: one car, one degree, one wedding........

I am confident that our financial situation can allow us to RE now, but DW is a doesn't trust the stock market. We have been going over the numbers and having the same discussion with the same outcome for over a year now.

......
Can you adopt me ?

Seriously, could it be that you are invested in strange unusual things in the stock market which is what makes her nervous ?

How about dividends, since you have a big stash, can you say that your dividends would pay for a large percentage of your annual expenses ?

If you can show they pay for 100% of annual expenses, then how can your wife argue that ?
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:43 PM   #27
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Get your employment contract looked at by a lawyer. Most non-compete clauses are unenforceable, as they can't take away your ability to make a living.
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Yes, the only valid "non-compete" agreements are the ones that come with a big payout and are for a set time only.

They are paying you to not compete for that time.
All depends upon the jurisdiction. In my experience , most of the noncompetes I've analyzed for clients have been enforceable in whole or in part--predominantly in flyover states.

Note that RobbieB is from California, which has statutory language consistent with his post. Naggz is from Canada, which I don't know anything about....
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:55 PM   #28
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I am confident that our financial situation can allow us to RE now, but DW is a doesn't trust the stock market. We have been going over the numbers and having the same discussion with the same outcome for over a year now.
Can you retire with investing less in stocks? Would that make your DW more comfortable? We more or less use a matching strategy, plus we have some hobby job income that reduces our portfolio drawdown.
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Old 08-10-2016, 03:04 PM   #29
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OK, so I am a fairly specialized physician and my non-compete applies only to my field. For all intensive purposes, I am not qualified to do anything other than my current job. Yes, I could do insurance, legal, and possibly consulting work, but that doesn't interest me. What I really want is to RE. If I could do what I am doing now,part time, I would consider doing it for a few more years.

You never know what the future holds. The market may crash, or you may become terminally ill. I am in a field of medicine where I see some really horrible things happening to people, some who are younger than me and plenty who are in their mid-fifties. Even closer to home, my anatomy partner from medical school died of a degenerative brain disease at the age of 50. All joking aside, I tell my DW that every day that I work is a healthy day of retirement that I have lost. More discussions about RE with DW to come. Thank you all for your input. I will keep you posted.
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Old 08-10-2016, 04:21 PM   #30
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I'm with you on this. Give DW time. Make a list of pros and cons. Remind her that time is more valuable than money. And much more limited.

Also, your non-compete might be invalid. If the company reorganized and you had to go back to full time, did you get a new contract? Was there any breach of contract? That would invalidate the non-compete. Also if there is a shortage of your specialty, your non-compete might not be enforceable.

https://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ug...ble-in-florida

However, if you can bring DW around, I say go for full RE, then who cares about the non-compete? Life is too short to do something you no neither want nor need to do. I too have lost interest and become bored with most things medical. I know what you're going through.


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Old 08-10-2016, 04:47 PM   #31
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OK, so I am a fairly specialized physician and my non-compete applies only to my field. For all intensive purposes, I am not qualified to do anything other than my current job. Yes, I could do insurance, legal, and possibly consulting work, but that doesn't interest me. What I really want is to RE. If I could do what I am doing now,part time, I would consider doing it for a few more years.
Have you tried telling your job that you would like to go part time, and (if necessary) you are thinking of quitting if you cannot go part time? Maybe they would provide you the needed flexibility.
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Old 08-10-2016, 05:16 PM   #32
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DW is worried about the unknown expenses yet to come
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DW also feels that we can not "retire" in the traditional sense until the girls go off to college.
Is it even remotely possible that your DW has some valid concerns? I think the two of you need to sit down and figure this out. No wishful thinking allowed!

Math is math, and pretty straightforward. Both of you sound like intelligent, competent people. Surely you can go through the numbers together and come to some sort of agreement.

Marriage is a team effort. Time to pull together as a team.
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:35 PM   #33
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You could TELL your employer that you are unhappy and want to go part-time and if they can't agree that you will quit and wait out the 2 years if necessary. They will probably quickly figure out that 50% of Valley Fisher is better than no Valley Fisher at all. If they refuse your request, then tender your resignation for the earliest possible date and if they want you to stay longer then use that to get them to waive or reduce your non-compete. If you feel a need to work, then find a job that suits you outside your non-compete area if necessary.

For your DW, keep explaining the numbers to her. If your equity exposure is a concern then you might offer to change your AA to a more benign mix or ... egads, I can't believe I'm typing this... buy an immediate annuity that provides you some amount of steady income.

In all of this, you need to keep beating the drum of how unhappy you are with work and that some sort of change needs to be made for your mental sanity and that it is unfair that she is standing in the way when you are the one who has to go into that toxic environment every day.
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:56 PM   #34
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I personally think this tends to run sexist at times. Most people don't think twice when a woman retires early, but give you the hairy eyebrow when a man does and their spouse continues working. Its your life and you need to do what makes you happy, but for me damn the consequences. I have cut down to daily supervising my coffee shops while my wife prefers to almost live there. To each their own.
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Old 08-10-2016, 07:01 PM   #35
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Have you tried telling your job that you would like to go part time, and (if necessary) you are thinking of quitting if you cannot go part time? Maybe they would provide you the needed flexibility.
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You could TELL your employer that you are unhappy and want to go part-time and if they can't agree that you will quit and wait out the 2 years if necessary. They will probably quickly figure out that 50% of Valley Fisher is better than no Valley Fisher at all. If they refuse your request, then tender your resignation for the earliest possible date and if they want you to stay longer then use that to get them to waive or reduce your non-compete. If you feel a need to work, then find a job that suits you outside your non-compete area if necessary.

For your DW, keep explaining the numbers to her. If your equity exposure is a concern then you might offer to change your AA to a more benign mix or ... egads, I can't believe I'm typing this... buy an immediate annuity that provides you some amount of steady income.

In all of this, you need to keep beating the drum of how unhappy you are with work and that some sort of change needs to be made for your mental sanity and that it is unfair that she is standing in the way when you are the one who has to go into that toxic environment every day.
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Old 08-10-2016, 07:31 PM   #36
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I am of the philosophy: one car, one degree, one wedding.
You don't have to adopt me but you are welcome to my 4 kids! I'm down with the 'one degree' and thanks to the market they could probably each do two if they want but the only wedding I planned to pay for was mine. Ok, I may be getting soft in my old age and offer up some cash as a gift that they can do with as they please but I'm really hoping they have learned enough not to spend it on subsidizing a big wedding. As far as four cars and insurance for each of them

As far as the retiring problem. If the numbers are ironclad (and you could always go back to some form of gainful employment if the world collapses), then I agree with those who say that you shouldn't kill yourself. And when it comes down to it, that is what you are doing if you are in a bad job that you don't have to be in. Give it time, try various angles....

OTOH, the part-time option sounds like it might work and can be refreshing enough to allow you to put in enough extra time to satisfy DW. And who knows, you may find that you actually like your job again if you can take it at a more leisurely pace.
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Old 08-10-2016, 08:15 PM   #37
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Have you asked her what it would take for her to feel comfortable with you quitting your job?

I wonder if she just has a very low risk tolerance, and no matter what you say, she won't feel comfortable with you pulling the trigger. Perhaps some marriage counseling would be a good idea. It could help you understand each others' fears better, so that you can come to a better meeting point.

Time is short, as you know. I hope that you can find a way to help her feel comfortable with you quitting.
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Old 08-10-2016, 09:10 PM   #38
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Old 08-11-2016, 08:45 AM   #39
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Sounds like you just need to give her more time to get used to the idea... and comfortable that you've covered every reasonable contingency and the numbers are still rock solid.

I retired at 52, but I first started floating the idea to DW a few years before that. At the time, we had one in high school and one that just started college. DW was skeptical; she thought we should wait until both were out of college and all unknown expenses were behind us. I showed her my analysis and asked her questions like, "What else can you think of that I should include?" She's not into financial stuff at all, but she liked being involved in the what-if's.

Ultimately, we compromised... I worked a few more years, padded the nestegg, and retired with one out of college and one about half way. By then, she had become comfortable that the numbers would work, but more importantly, she could clearly see the physical and emotional effects of my toxic job situation. She was encouraging me to hang up the spurs about a year before I did.

The plan had been for both of us to retire, but DW decided to keep working. She enjoys her job. It's the center of her social life and very low stress. Also, she doesn't have the same level of interest in hobbies and other activities that I do, so she has struggled a bit with what retirement "means" for her. She likes the daily routine and social interaction. I think her own attitude about work and retirement entered the equation back when I first floated the idea.

Give it a bit more time and find some middle ground where everybody is comfortable with the decision.
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Old 08-11-2016, 09:21 AM   #40
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Another factor rarely verbalized, is that retirement can be a big status reduction, and being a doc or a Mrs. Doc carries a lot of status. Giving that up is hard when you have sacrificed to attain it.
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