Early retirement - the mental preparation

[IndyInvestor]

I am 44 years old and widowed. I am contemplating retiring early to spend more time with my 3 kids (9, 11, and 14). My wife passed away after a five year battle with breast cancer in Oct 2013 at the age of 41. I am financially able to retire if I choose as I have been frugal and investing for over 20 years now. I've set up several sources of passive income in preparation for the possibility. However, I am not sure if I am mentally ready to "retire". I would become a full-time dad but would have several hours each day to myself. I have profitable side ventures but they do not require much time, maybe a few hours per week.

I had a frugal, investor friend who retired at 40 and went back to work after two years because he said "it's boring". This really made me think about this.

I've begun researching and reading about early retirement and have found to successfully transition you must have passionate activities and hobbies lined up or you will be bored. I have many hobbies that could easily fill my time (performing music, volunteering at church, youth coaching, volunteering at the hospital, etc). The possibility to consult in my current field is a distinct possibility.

Mentally there is some reservation in leaving the adrenaline and structure of the corporate world. Walking away from a six-figure income is daunting.

I continue to read as much as I can about retiring early. I glean most information from those who have done it. Many people write about it, dream about it, but few have actually done it. This post is aimed at anyone who has retired young or knows someone who has. Any insight and advice welcome.

 

[heeyy_joe]

Sorry for your loss. A few years to focus on your children would be boring? I think not sir.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I read recently (maybe it was here?) that basically if you retire early and go back to work because you're 'bored' that's quite sad...basically, you have to let someone else tell you how to spend your day. I'd write more but it's tough on a kindle to ramble on and on.

I will tell you that as a recent early retiree, I wake up many days with nothing planned to do yet go to bed those days only accomplishing 1/2 of what I intended to do.

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

 

[cnocmmz]

Enjoy it and find your way young one do it or you never will

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[travelover]

.........
I've begun researching and reading about early retirement and have found to successfully transition you must have passionate activities and hobbies lined up or you will be bored........... .

I'm curious where you got that idea. I'd say that most here that are retired are happy to putz around. I know that I sure am, but then it has only been 8 years.

 

[REWahoo]

I am 44 years old and widowed. I am contemplating retiring early to spend more time with my 3 kids (9, 11, and 14).

I am financially able to retire if I choose...

I had a frugal, investor friend who retired at 40 and went back to work after two years because he said "it's boring". This really made me think about this.

I think it really sad that any adult who has many interests and no restraints on his daily activity - other than those in his own mind - can be "bored'.

I consider it beyond sad that an individual in your situation would allow "fear of boredom" to prevent spending more time with your three kids. You'll never get that time back - don't squander this opportunity.

 

[nash031]

Something stolen from someone else on this board: "When I get bored, I never think 'I'll just go to work!'"

 

[truenorth418]

I retired 3 years ago at age 47. Do I get bored sometimes? Sure. But never as bored as I was sitting through pointless meetings, endless conference calls, and other corporate nonsense. Now I am never bored for long. The choices in retirement are limitless. All it takes is some creativity and initiative. As stated in an earlier post, sometimes I go to bed with my head spinning around what I did NOT have time to accomplish that day.


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[ejman]

The most enjoyable hobby for me is putzing... there seems to be a limitless putzing universe to draw from and I never find it boring. Sure, I have other hobbies, reading, listening to my extensive music collection, hiking, going to live music, yoga and so on but most enjoyable is to go back to delicious putzing.

 

[REWahoo]

The most enjoyable hobby for me is putzing... there seems to be a limitless putzing universe to draw from and I never find it boring. Sure, I have other hobbies, reading, listening to my extensive music collection, hiking, going to live music, yoga and so on but most enjoyable is to go back to delicious putzing.

+1

I've been putzing on the deck today and am posting this while I wait for my putzer to recharge...

 

[jcretire77]

ejman you are my hero! I am still w*rking so as to hit my totally arbitrary number and sometimes worry that I have enough to keep me busy. But then I hear your words of wisdom and know that I can putz with the best of them!

 

[ArkTinkerer]

Make a list of all the things you would like to do with your children. Make a list of all the things you would like to do on your own. Put down the hours and costs associated with these beyond your planned retirement income.

Now you can make a plan and see if you will run out of money or time. I can think of a lot of inexpensive things I would rather do than work. I suspect when I retire I will die of old age long before the list runs out.

 

[flyingaway]

In your case, you will not really retire. You will spend time on your kids, working on some side ventures and consulting. If you already have passive income sources, why not do what you would like to do?

 

[Bestwifeever]

Indyinvestor, soooo sorry about your DW passing away.

Re your retiring, what would your three kids vote? Can you restructure your work or cut back on hours to be home when they are? That is one solution short of retiring completely.

The passion thing is waaay overrated--most people likely never find their passion, retired or not.

 

[Kook]

I am 44 years old and widowed. I am contemplating retiring early to spend more time with my 3 kids (9, 11, and 14). My wife passed away after a five year battle with breast cancer in Oct 2013 at the age of 41. I am financially able to retire if I choose.... .

I am not retired, so I cannot offer any advice regarding day to day activities and such. However, your quote really stood out at me.

You are 44 years young and widowed. You, more than most, can respect the fact that life is fragile and can end early and suddenly. You have the means to retire and the opportunity to spend more time with your children.
If you are financially secure.... I say go for it. You will never get this time back.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[enginerd]

I had a frugal, investor friend who retired at 40 and went back to work after two years because he said "it's boring". This really made me think about this.

I guessing just an excuse. Perhaps he made some unwise investments. Or maybe as the old saying goes "Only boring people get bored".



Given your circumstances, could you set up a trial run retirement. Tell your employer you need some time off to re-group, sabbatical, extended vacation. I think with 3 kids you'll find plenty to occupy your time.
Or maybe demand to go part time, and let them know you only plan for a few years until your kids get into high school. I know some employers are very flexible in circumstances such as yours.

 

[bad_LNIP]

I had a frugal, investor friend who retired at 40 and went back to work after two years because he said "it's boring". This really made me think about .

Sounds like you have a really boring friend. There are literally a million different things I could find to do before I got bored. If you are bored in retirement, you just aren't trying.

Some people identify with their job and that is literally ALL they have going for them. I recall when I was in the Army, one officer was being introduced to the Battalion, and he listed "Hobbies: none. Interest: none." I remember whispering to one of my fellow LT's that this guy was a loser. This is the guy that lived at the office and was there at 10AM on Sat when I had to go in and drop some paperwork off once.

Just some ideas: Swim the great barrier reef, coach a HS sport, become a pro bodybuilder, para gliding, go observe volcanoes, travel through europe, travel asia, travel S. america, attend Knob creek MG shoot....

definitely attend Knob creek...

If you go to 9:30 and 12:50 and that doesn't get your blood pumping, you might need CPR. Just saying...lots of things to do to fill the day

 

[Teacher Terry]

If I were you I would do consulting on the side if you enjoy it. My hubby & I retired at 53 & 58 & became bored within 6 months so this is what we did. However, our kids were long gone. WE also do some volunteer work, etc. With 3 kids I think you will have enough to keep you busy.

 

[mdsmith1]

Follow your heart and if it leads to continue working so be it. You have plenty of time.


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[Rustic23]

You will never know until you try it. Neither DW or I are bored. Going on 9 years retired. Am I occupied 100% of the day, of course not. Are there times I am looking for something to do, sure. Do I go to the store and spend a little more time looking around, yea, it's fun.

Another question to ask yourself, 'Did I get bored on a two or three week vacation.' Ok, not the same, but close. There are lots of threads on here about people's fear of being bored. Many have volunteered, or taken a part time job. For me I take two aspirin, go to bed and the feeling is gone by the time I wake up.

 

[Bamaman]

Is there any chance of your company letting you go part time? Healthcare insurance on 4 people is very expensive, and it'd be nice if staying on part time if just for insurance.

It's doubtful if you'd be very bored with 3 kids to ride herd on. Those mid day hours fly by just keeping house and doing laundry.

 

[Davis65]

Volunteering in your kids' schools? Leading scout packs? Helping out with hockey/baseball/quidditch teams? I think if you use your imagination, you'll fill your days and be your kids' hero.

 

[Meadbh]

If you were a woman, widowed with children and financially secure, would you be asking this question?

 

[Ronstar]

Sorry for your loss, Indy. If you're FI, pull the pin and spend time with your kids. Your post tells me that you would have more than enough retirement activities to keep you from getting bored. As to feelings about passing up a six figure income - that will pass.


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[RetireBy90]

I'm not retired today but your point about being bored hit home with me. I have found that as I get older those fears of having to be busy all day fade. I was always a 110% at the office because I really enjoy working with computers and I'm good at it. As I get closer to retirement, I'm serious about looking at other interests and find there are other activities I enjoy including spending time with volunteering. Check out Salvation Army, they seem to be very focused on making a difference, perhaps red cross. But then that is one of my interests. I have others like reading and learning but something like helping out at specific times and days can help provide structure and a feeling your still contributing and needed. Just my 2 cents