Free Dude

[Mickslick]

Hi there, 48 yr old, ER'd for about four years, switched places with the wife who has a great career and I was ready to get out of Megacorp after a 20 year stint, it has been a great ride!

BTW, I assume DH refers to a husband and DW to a wife, but what does the "D" stand for? Dear, Darling Dumb?

[Rambler]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickslick ...BTW, I assume DH refers to a husband and DW to a wife, but what does the "D" stand for? Dear, Darling Dumb?

Take your pick, I guess. I, for one, however, will pass on the last adjective when refering to my DW...

R

[template]

Welcome aboard, Mickslick. "D" usually stands for "dear" in the DH/DW context.

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickslick BTW, I assume DH refers to a husband and DW to a wife, but what does the "D" stand for? Dear, Darling Dumb?

http://www.early-retirement.org/foru...rum-34884.html

[Dawg52]

I always thought it meant 'damn'. Of course I'm single so what do I know?

[freebird5825]

Welcome to the forum

The "D" in "DH" or "DW" can have cyclical interpretations, directly proportional to the time spent underfoot.

[Achiever51]

Welcome aboard!

I used to w*rk with a woman who always referred to her DH as "S.O.B." Everyone wrongly assumed that it was a pejorative term... for them it was a shortened form of "Sweet Old Bill" and they both got the biggest kick out of it! go figure.

[cardude]

Tell me how your "switcharoo" is going. I recently (this year) did the same thing, and so far my situation is a little clunky. Wife is not a morning person and she is starting to feel some resentment as she rushes out at 7:15 every morning.

Any issues with your situation? Any advice?

[ziggy29]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickslick Hi there, 48 yr old, ER'd for about four years, switched places with the wife who has a great career and I was ready to get out of Megacorp after a 20 year stint, it has been a great ride!

Nice.

I hope my wife likes her job long enough for me to get off the hamster wheel eventually, but it's too early to tell.

[Mickslick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cardude Tell me how your "switcharoo" is going. I recently (this year) did the same thing, and so far my situation is a little clunky. Wife is not a morning person and she is starting to feel some resentment as she rushes out at 7:15 every morning. Any issues with your situation? Any advice?

Hey there,

My first inclination regarding advice is that these things often take more time than expected. Every situation is different, however, there is usually some significant readjustment that occurs. If kept in the proper perspective you will work through it and come out the other end a much stronger / happier person but if the speed bumps are allowed to grow into walls then it can tail spin quickly. So, I would say identify these things quickly, put them in perspective and put them out on the table to eliminate them as quickly as possible i.e. communication, action etc...

In my case I was surprised by how much adjustment I need to make. My spouse was great from the beginning, totally supportive, but, I didn't realize how much my identity was wrapped up in "what I do". There is so much cultural programming and baggage, especially in the U.S., that ties a man's identity with work (no matter how completely pointless some of that work is) that how one perceives themselves and how others perceive them becomes more about a title than who they are. So, knowing this and wanting to find a better alternative and with the opportunity to do so, we did the switch, but, it took me two years to totally redefine my worth and self as a person based on things that matter vs. "what do you do for a living"

Now for the great news, four years on, this has been the best thing we have decided to do as a family, We have two high schoolers that I get to have a relationship with and live life with, my wife's career is thriving and she loves the fact that everything is essentially taken care of when she is away for the day or a few days on business travel. I have become a much more enjoyable, well rounded and if I might say, lovable, person (just ask my wife) In addition this situation has enabled me to pursue things I thought were long dead. I have taken up my passion for guitar playing with a vengeance and now play weekly in front of hundreds of people and have greatly expanded my knowledge and skill. The identity thing is now just fun, I get to see all kinds of reactions and amusing responses when I share our life situation with others. These days most of what I get is envy, more and more folks are not finding the Megacorp route the way to fulfillment and are fascinated by what we do and why.

So I wish you well with your decisions, if you have set up your finances well (know your future plan, no to limited debt etc..) and you are both on board it can and will be a great way to live.

Now I have to get the dog some run time, go to the library and catch up on some magazines, pick up some stuff from the grocery store for a new recipe I've wanted to try and head out later this evening for rehearsal. It's a rough life but someone has to do it

[WB52]

Thanks Mickslick. That description sounds great and is inspirational to me as a FIRE wannabe (darn it, WILL BE)!