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Old 09-10-2016, 09:25 AM   #21
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As a parent, you feel it is your job to do as much as you can for your kids and I feel like I am shirking my responsibilities somehow.
Your kids need YOU. Your time, your love, your attention. They don't need more electronic gadgets that money can buy. They are only little for a very short time.
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Old 09-11-2016, 06:46 AM   #22
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OP...If a 4% withdrawal plus your part time income meets your expenses now (I assume your expenses are around $115k) , what happens when you want to fully retire? How will you cover expenses then??

This is my question as well. Not to mention a 4% withdrawal rate at your age is aggressive. What about college education costs?


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Old 09-11-2016, 08:33 PM   #23
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My guilt is rooted in my decision not to maximize my income when I will want to help my children out as much as I can financially in the future. As a parent, you feel it is your job to do as much as you can for your kids and I feel like I am shirking my responsibilities somehow.
.

Maybe that assumption is something to ponder, too? A lot of satisfaction in life is achieving things for yourself. As we all know too well, unintended consequences happen and sometimes things can go haywire in people if too much is done for them. If you take time to be with your kids and lavish time as a terrific parent versus material goods on them, maybe they will even grow up to be good savers and investors because they saw the benefits of those choices in their parents and want to emulate them.


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Old 09-11-2016, 10:47 PM   #24
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.

I had planned to retire at age 55 and had put all my ducks in a row to do just that.

But shortly before my magic 55th birthday arrived... I began to mentally hedge... "maybe I will work a bit longer", etc....

But then a few weeks before my original target date, something unforeseen happened that caused me to go ahead and retire as planned on the date planned.

I am so happy I did. I never looked back.

.
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Old 09-12-2016, 07:22 PM   #25
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My guilt is rooted in my decision not to maximize my income when I will want to help my children out as much as I can financially in the future. As a parent, you feel it is your job to do as much as you can for your kids and I feel like I am shirking my responsibilities somehow
I feel the same way- sort of. my kids are 12 and 9. Someone asked me what I was going to do if one of my kids wanted to go to Harvard. I have saved enough- or pretty close to enough for my kids to get an education at a state school- if they stay in the dorm. They have been told that if they want to have a nice apartment or join a fraternity, or go to Harvard, they need to get a scholarship or a loan or a job. However, if they graduate with money leftover, they can have it. Same deal was offered to my siblings and myself. I managed to pay for 2 degrees with my money (I had a summer job) and graduated debt free- my sister joined a sorority, but had a partial scholarship and graduated debt free, and my brother graduated with a little debt. NONE of us considered it a 4 year party.

i don't think my job as a parent is to provide them with everything they desire- there is great satisfaction is working hard and earning your own way. That being said- they will probably inherit a pile of money- but not (hopefully) till they are retired themselves!
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Old 09-17-2016, 06:14 PM   #26
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Thanks for all the thoughtful responses.

When you get to your late forties and fifties, it is difficult not to reflect on your own mortality. You know you are old when you start reading obituaries and read about someone who is in their fifties or early sixties and has died from cancer or a heart attack. I am a positive person and think the best, but what if I only have 10-15 more years on this planet? I don't want to be blind to the cruelties of life either.

The most enjoyable things to me are quite simple...spending hours on a baseball diamond with my boys and laying beside my wife watching a movie on Netflix. My job is fairly stressful, even if satisfying, but there are many things I would rather be doing. My guilt is rooted in my decision not to maximize my income when I will want to help my children out as much as I can financially in the future. As a parent, you feel it is your job to do as much as you can for your kids and I feel like I am shirking my responsibilities somehow.

However, I am convinced it is the best thing to do. I have enough in life. I don't need more money because I can live relatively simple. When the kids are out of the house, I will sell and downsize and that will add some investment capital.
Thanks for this post. I can relate to so much of what you said. I'm turning 50 in October and while I'm relatively young to retire, I'm no spring chicken and if the next 25 years go by as quickly as the last 25, then .....

I also have two children 10 and 12 who I would do anything for and get stuck thinking that earning a few (or 15) more years of income would be the responsible thing to do. What I have noticed in myself though is that the grind of earning a living does take it's toll on me and the things that are "off the table" because of running my business perhaps could present themselves in ways I hadn't even thought of.

I go to the gym in the morning and there are a few older guys that are retired and I've heard so much good advice on taking the leap and how the stress was there but not acknowledged until they walked away. I'm looking forward to learning more on this forum from more people who have chosen to forego the money to accept something else.
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Old 09-23-2016, 07:19 AM   #27
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I go to the gym in the morning and there are a few older guys that are retired and I've heard so much good advice on taking the leap and how the stress was there but not acknowledged until they walked away. I'm looking forward to learning more on this forum from more people who have chosen to forego the money to accept something else.

That's very insightful. I am 50 and recently accepted a new management position in a new org. Unbeknownst to me until I started, many above and below me see me as the likely next VP when the current one retires in 1-2 years, though I'm sure I'd have to compete for it. Turns out they were hiring for a potential successor. I've climbed the ladder compulsively for 25 years so pursuing the next brass ring has become a matter of course. The only problem is, I want more time and less stress and to be on a glide path to RE, not marinating in the stress of a bigger management role and organizational BS. When I'm at the office and in the groove, I think, "Heck, I could do that VP job and even speed up my retirement date." Then I'm home and read something like your comment above and think, "Sorry, people. I just...don't...want...it." Increasingly, I want the "something else."


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Old 09-23-2016, 07:33 AM   #28
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That's very insightful. I am 50 and recently accepted a new management position in a new org. Unbeknownst to me until I started, many above and below me see me as the likely next VP when the current one retires in 1-2 years, though I'm sure I'd have to compete for it. Turns out they were hiring for a potential successor. I've climbed the ladder compulsively for 25 years so pursuing the next brass ring has become a matter of course. The only problem is, I want more time and less stress and to be on a glide path to RE, not marinating in the stress of a bigger management role and organizational BS. When I'm at the office and in the groove, I think, "Heck, I could do that VP job and even speed up my retirement date." Then I'm home and read something like your comment above and think, "Sorry, people. I just...don't...want...it." Increasingly, I want the "something else."


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Probably the best decision I made in my career was avoiding the VP promotion path by moving out of Silicon Valley. Everyone was surprised I stepped into a staff role but I saw how stressful and all encompassing the VP and Sr. VP roles were and I didn't want to be an absentee father. Financially it was a HUGE mistake but the lifestyle and stress reduction was an even bigger win.
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Old 09-23-2016, 08:00 AM   #29
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......if the next 25 years go by as quickly as the last 25, then .....
From my, (limited, since I won't be 74 until next week), experience they go by much faster........then again, in retrospect, it's all gone by soooooo fast.
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Old 09-23-2016, 07:13 PM   #30
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That's very insightful. I am 50 and recently accepted a new management position in a new org. Unbeknownst to me until I started, many above and below me see me as the likely next VP when the current one retires in 1-2 years, though I'm sure I'd have to compete for it. Turns out they were hiring for a potential successor. I've climbed the ladder compulsively for 25 years so pursuing the next brass ring has become a matter of course. The only problem is, I want more time and less stress and to be on a glide path to RE, not marinating in the stress of a bigger management role and organizational BS. When I'm at the office and in the groove, I think, "Heck, I could do that VP job and even speed up my retirement date." Then I'm home and read something like your comment above and think, "Sorry, people. I just...don't...want...it." Increasingly, I want the "something else."



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Good luck on sorting it out. I'll be 50 in a couple weeks and I struggle with the thought of getting through the next 30 - 40 years financially if I stop working - figuring out the wants vs the needs in retirement. One thing I do know is my entrepreneurial drive has diminished. Like you said, less stress and glide path. Without knowing your work environment, I don't know if you'll get to swing that as the VP but speaking for myself and the environment I'm in, the act of staying vigilant and protecting my interests from potential threats is what I find the most draining. I have delegated much more in the last few years so I have been getting away with gliding more. My worry is that I'll leave myself open to more and more potential threats by gliding too long.
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Old 09-23-2016, 07:16 PM   #31
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From my, (limited, since I won't be 74 until next week), experience they go by much faster........then again, in retrospect, it's all gone by soooooo fast.
I suspect you're exactly right and I only hope I never lose sight of it.
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Old 09-23-2016, 07:38 PM   #32
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I suspect you're exactly right and I only hope I never lose sight of it.
Synopsis of a letter I wrote to an aunt as I approached 40:

"I'll be 40 in a couple days. It seems like yesterday that I was 20. I've gone from 20 to 40 in one step that took a split second. In another such step I'll be 60, and will have gone from 20 to 60 in two almost unnoticable steps."

Now, or in 4 days time, I'll be 6 years away, (if I make it), from doubling my age since I wrote that missive, and I can recall clearly both writing it and how I felt when I was writing it. Stunned & amazed.
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Old 09-23-2016, 07:54 PM   #33
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You wonder how many people don't do what is best for them because they are concerned about societal pressures or "what people think."

We only have so much time...it is definitely finite. Time is the most precious commodity we have and we forget that sometimes until tragedy or health scares arise.

We are bombarded with messages of accumulating...
You are only 46! 😀 It sounds like you're going through a midlife crisis.

I have them all the time.

It sounds like you might be battling with your work ethic?

I would rather work five years longer full-time and just get it all over with at age 51 or 52 and be done with work forever. Screw working part time. That's still working.

I think taking care of your children financially is a Big deal.
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