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Hard time slowing down
Old 04-16-2013, 02:43 PM   #1
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Hard time slowing down

I am 66 semi retired since 62 I work 20 hours a week because I want to. I always worked two jobs because I enjoyed work. I have no problem now working my 20 hours a week and do not plan to stop as long as I am physically able to work. On my off hours I want to do nothing, but feel non productive and tired and yes guilty. Everyone including doctors tell me I am depressed. I don't feel depressed I just don't feel the need to be active if I don't want to be. I exercise eat well and do things I enjoy, just not often. I am looking for any feedback.
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Old 04-16-2013, 03:17 PM   #2
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Hi Ellwood. I suffer from clinical depression. We actually don't know we're depressed when we are depressed - its only AFTER the cloud is gone that we realize it was there. It's fine to not do anything in your free time - its not so fine to feel bad about it. Why not try an antidepressant for 90 days and see if it helps ? If it turns out you were right you can always stop the meds.
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Old 04-16-2013, 03:21 PM   #3
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Ellwood, have your seen a psychiatrist? I imagine that would be a good way to get qualified medical advice regarding your mental health.
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Old 04-16-2013, 04:35 PM   #4
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Seek help. Seriously.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:21 PM   #5
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Ellwood - I wanted to add that being depressed is nothing to be ashamed of. The condition is actually out of our control to a very large degree. Clinical depression is often caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Its the same as any other medical disorder that may require medication to correct. I would love to see your next post say "thanks, I'm going to make an appointment with a psychiatrist".

Reaching out for support is wonderful. I'm so happy you joined the forum.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:43 PM   #6
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Seek help. Seriously.
Why? He works, he exercises, he does not feel depressed, what's bad about any of this?

So what if he feels guilty when he is not working. Many of our very important projects, honey-do(s) etc are to just avoid the guilt or ennui that that can come when we are idle. Remember hearing that idle hands are the devil's workshop?

Ha
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:48 PM   #7
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Get a dog. You can share your non-productivity and nap together.

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Old 04-16-2013, 07:17 PM   #8
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Why? He works, he exercises, he does not feel depressed, what's bad about any of this?

Ha
It just sounds like he doesn't have a w*rk/life balance. I would say that's not the best place to be. At some point he won't be able to work and then what? Time to sort this out in his head. I don't know if he needs Drs. or drugs but he should at least start to work this out.
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Old 04-16-2013, 07:26 PM   #9
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It just sounds like he doesn't have a w*rk/life balance. I would say that's not the best place to be. At some point he won't be able to work and then what? Time to sort this out in his head. I don't know if he needs Drs. or drugs but he should at least start to work this out.
You may be correct for sure, but it often seems that a prominent goal of ER is to totally destroy work:life balance, by achieving a 0:100 proportion of work to "life". I am not sure that OP is as 'unbalanced" as this!


Ha
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Old 04-16-2013, 07:31 PM   #10
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You may be correct for sure, but it often seems that a prominent goal of ER is to totally destroy work:life balance, by achieving a 0:100 proportion of work to "life". I am not sure that OP is as 'unbalanced" as this!
He said he was semi-retired with 20 hrs of w*rk. If he doesn't know what to do with the rest of his time or he is unhappy with what his doing with that time then he has a problem that will only get worse when he is not w*rking at all. The point of ER is not to destroy the w*rk/life balance but to transition from w*rk to a meaningful life. Not an easy thing to do for some people.
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Old 04-16-2013, 07:59 PM   #11
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He said he was semi-retired with 20 hrs of w*rk. If he doesn't know what to do with the rest of his time or he is unhappy with what his doing with that time then he has a problem that will only get worse when he is not w*rking at all. The point of ER is not to destroy the w*rk/life balance but to transition from w*rk to a meaningful life. Not an easy thing to do for some people.
Again, you may be 100% right. However I think running to a psychiatrist who may give him meds that cause him to consider suicide is kind of an over-reaction to his described difficulties.

Ha
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:47 PM   #12
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Get a dog. You can share your non-productivity and nap together.


Or a cat or two. Great napping buddies.
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:19 PM   #13
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Again, you may be 100% right. However I think running to a psychiatrist who may give him meds that cause him to consider suicide is kind of an over-reaction to his described difficulties.

Ha
Agreed. I would never advocate jumping straight to meds. However, he did say he is getting a lot of comments, including "from doctors", that he is depressed. It may be something to consider. Even if he sees some kind of mental health provider he can keep control of his life by participating in any decisions. You don't blindly have to follow the Dr's advice. There are lots of ways to approach this other than the status quo.
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Old 04-16-2013, 10:14 PM   #14
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I'd investigate the issue further for yourself, if I were you. There is plenty of information available on the web about the symptoms of clinical depression. It isn't that hard to figure out whether you're depressed or not, if you're honest with yourself.

Depression Symptoms, Warning Signs, Types, and Complications

Major depression - National Library of Medicine - PubMed Health

Depression (major depression): Symptoms - MayoClinic.com

http://psychcentral.com/depquiz.htm

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/MH00103_D
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Old 04-17-2013, 12:55 AM   #15
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Not sure whay type of feedback you are looking for. About depression ? The emotions you have been experiencing ? What to do with your free time ? etc. Welcome to the forum anyway.
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I am looking for any feedback.
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Old 04-17-2013, 08:35 AM   #16
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What you are describing could be a number of things or may be nothing other than ordinary aging. I would suggest seeing you primary care Doc, get a check-up and let him know what you are feeling. Could even be something like low-T.

That said, welcome to the forum.
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Old 04-17-2013, 11:15 AM   #17
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I was also thinkingmaybe Low-T. I watch the evening news and get bombarded with the Low-T and ED ads. I actually watch the ads because the older women in them are pretty hot.
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:20 PM   #18
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Why? He works, he exercises, he does not feel depressed, what's bad about any of this?
I agree.

Quite possibly there is more to the story than we know; but on the face of the limited information provided, I don't see any need to visit a psychiatrist and then almost inevitably begin a course of psychotropic medication.

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So what if he feels guilty when he is not working. Many of our very important projects, honey-do(s) etc are to just avoid the guilt or ennui that that can come when we are idle.
The "Puritan work ethic" has a lot to answer for in our society.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:02 AM   #19
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Thank you all for your comments. The feedback is helpful. I think it is the lifestyle change, although I am glad I left full time employment. I can't imagine being in that daily grind now. I think the last comment about the American work ethic had a lot to do with it. I use past tense because since I got this off my mind I feel better about it. By the way I started planning decades ago to be able to leave full time employment before full SS retirement age.
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Old 04-19-2013, 02:45 PM   #20
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I can't understand the advice to do something including taking antidepressants. Why expose yourself to medication if it's not necessary? Most medication for depression is habit forming and have potentially dangerous side effects. OP said he doesn't feel depressed; just that he doesn't feel like doing anything productive after putting in his time at work. What's wrong with that? Some people are home bodies and don't like to busy themselves just to say they are doing something. That's perfectly normal. As long as OP takes care of essential chores and find some time for exercise, no change is necessary. Doctors are often the worst to advise on what treatment you need because they often push medication when a non medicine approach may be far more suitable. Not everything that's otherside of the norm has to be fixed.
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