Wow...
Cucumber,
Hang in there! You are on the right path by asking the questions!
If you want a really good book that is easy to read and one of the best that encapsulates most of the arguments you need, try this:
The Investor's Manifesto: Preparing for Prosperity, Armageddon, and Everything in Between: William J. Bernstein, Jonathan Clements: 9781118073766: Amazon.com: Books
If it makes you feel any better, I have an MBA from a top 5 business school, been thinking about financial issues and planning retirement since I was 20. Granted I was busy working, but after a couple of questionable financial advisors recommended by friends, I decided I really needed to study and figure it out. I spent 2 years (I was working) reading, cross-correlating and building an understanding of what I should do and why. Moving from my FA was still incredibly difficult because of all the psychological issues with smart people making bad financial decisions. FA's can be very persuasive salespeople.
Right at the end of my 2 years of study, as I was selling my business for a significant amount of money and about to retire, another friend suggested I talk to Alliance Bernstein (AB)...these guys are "private wealth management." Very upscale and serve "High Net Worth" individuals. Personalized service, office in the highest building in the city, posh offices, secretaries, drinks, warm cookies.
I had given them some prelims of my holdings and they had prepared a special spiral bound notebook with 8x11.5 color glossies of my future, complete with Monte Carlo simulations. I thought, OK, I'll test my knowledge with them and challenge them with the best I got.
I was ready. All the pieces fell into place and they had no answers for my questions. Lots of sales, no substance. I even used an obscure piece on the falicy of Monte Carlo simulations that Jim Otar had done. When the FA was silent, didn't have any answers, and it was obvious he was in over his head, he brought in the Managing Partner. We went through it again for another 1/2 hour. Loved the cookies by the way. When he couldn't counter my arguements for low-cost, passive, index investing with a value tilt...the coup di grace...they admitted that if they didn't work at AB they would do what I was doing. I was stunned and said nothing. You could hear a pin drop. THAT was a powerful moment.
It was like NEO in the Matrix when he could finally "see" the Matrix.
It all became clear. I realized I was worrying about it too much. That everything I had learned was right. The transition conversations still weren't easy. The good part is the when I told my FA, he told me I would do fine. He actually handled it well without a whole lot of pushback.
So, moral of the story, do your research. Start with the book I mentioned above. Of the 50+ books I read, it is the best, easiest to read encapsulation of all the others. I gave a copy to my child when they turned 18 (along with a collection of books I felt important they have) and said "follow this and be confident."
At some point, if you spend the time, do the research, develop your understanding, you too will see the Matrix.