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Hi! Frustrated in Atlanta
Old 01-24-2011, 01:16 PM   #1
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Hi! Frustrated in Atlanta

I admit it....I have been lurking here for many months. Signed up but never posted to the introduction forum but have enjoyed reading and using FIRECAL.

My frustration is that DH retired in Aug 2010 (at 61) and I want to join him (I'm 56)! I get a 100% success rate running FIRECAL using extremely conservative portfolio return numbers (and just about every other calculator out there) but I just can't convince him.

He probably has the 1st dollar he ever earned & is VERY CONSERVATIVE!

He will not be comfortable until that SS checks start coming in every month (he will apply in Sept) to go with the very "small" pension he is now receiving after 37 years as a fireman.

I read a thread somewhere, here I think, about how to early retire......have a working spouse. Well, I am that working spouse. Any suggestions on how to "convince" my husband that he will be oh so much happier if his wonderful DW could also retire?

Our plans are to visit as many state & federal campgrounds as we can before we both get too old to manage it......I SAY WE START NOW! it has to be warmer somewhere!
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Old 01-24-2011, 01:21 PM   #2
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Any suggestions on how to "convince" my husband that he will be oh so much happier if his wonderful DW could also retire?
I'm shocked that you would ask this question. In our house DW would make my life miserable until I begged her to retire!

Why not simply retire and tell him if he thinks he needs more money he's welcome to return to work?
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Old 01-24-2011, 02:55 PM   #3
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if he thinks he needs more money he's welcome to return to work?
+1
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:03 PM   #4
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Why not simply retire and tell him if he thinks he needs more money he's welcome to return to work?
+2.
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:13 PM   #5
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:36 PM   #6
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:43 PM   #7
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what the heck...I'll join the conga line.

+ + + + +
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:48 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by gizmo View Post
He probably has the 1st dollar he ever earned & is VERY CONSERVATIVE!

He will not be comfortable until that SS checks start coming in every month (he will apply in Sept) to go with the very "small" pension he is now receiving after 37 years as a fireman.
To add a little variety to the +'n...I suggest you work until September. Perhaps at the point when he starts getting his SS check he'll feel more at ease.

He'll be more comfortable causing you to be less stressed and you'll have the extra income saved from the months you worked. A little more play money for your trips. Until then he can do all the cookin' and cleanin'...
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Old 01-24-2011, 04:06 PM   #9
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To add a little variety to the +'n...I suggest you work until September. Perhaps at the point when he starts getting his SS check he'll feel more at ease.
+1
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Old 01-24-2011, 04:16 PM   #10
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If you keep waiting then soon it won't be early retirement. (heh)
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Old 01-24-2011, 05:47 PM   #11
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Here's a thread where the hubby wanted the wife to retire:

I finally did it

He was a teeny bit worried about the men in the office (although I'm sure it was tongue in cheek). Maybe you can start raving to DH about some of the guys you work with .
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Old 01-24-2011, 05:55 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by gizmo View Post
My frustration is that DH retired in Aug 2010 (at 61) and I want to join him (I'm 56)! I get a 100% success rate running FIRECAL using extremely conservative portfolio return numbers (and just about every other calculator out there) but I just can't convince him.
Let me know how it works out, I'll probably need some pointers. I'm planning to retire at the end of May with DW's complete approval (she's 2 yrs younger). She is planning to continue working because
- 'I've provided for her all these years' [calm down Ladies - her words, not mine],
- she still enjoys her relatively new job and
- to provide health care for us both.
I've kidded her saying she'll quickly tire of me not working while she continues to work, she absolutely insists otherwise. I'll be surprised if she lasts more than 2-3 months without a) asking me when I'm going to get off my lazy ass and get a job even though she's insisted it's time for me to retire or b) retiring herself .

Place your bets here...

She's outsmarting me and I just can't see it yet huh? When all is said and done, I'll probably be back at work and she'll be retired...
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Old 01-24-2011, 08:02 PM   #13
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Welcome to the forum!

+6 (or whatever the appropriate plus count is when I push "send")

You're in great shape with 100% Firecalc and a spouse with a civil service pension- hurry and quit your job so you can waste all day learn ER as you go posting here like the rest of us..

PS... Posting instead of lurking was the first step...
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:09 AM   #14
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I would try to convince DH him by detailed information.
If you have not done it so far, start keeping track of all expenses in writing and on daily basis. Set up a monthly list with all categories. After the first month try to live off what you both can reasonably predict to be the joint income (SS, pension, interest on savings) after September. If this works out, you "know" that you do not need your job and have saved some more.

Is DH now contributing enough to the work around the house? If you have not done this yet, make your life easier by transferring some of your regular tasks and responsibilities to him. (Do not micromanage how he does these things, as long as he does them.)
Your free time together needs to be maximised.
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Old 01-25-2011, 04:12 AM   #15
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Conservative is OK. But if you can afford to FIRE... why support the tax man.

Maybe you should help him with some educational material or get him to a "Fee based" financial planner to review your situation. Maybe the assessment of an "expert" will help.

Another approach is to develop the full plan and show it to him. My DW was a little uneasy until I showed her the numbers.


You can also make the point that someday you will not be healthy and able to do your traveling. Carpe Diem!
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Old 01-25-2011, 10:02 AM   #16
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OK... plus 7...

And plus 2 if you want to work till Sept...



I do have a hard time believing that after 37 years as a fireman he has a 'small' pension... almost every place I have seen, this would be a pretty big pension... so... define 'small'....
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Old 01-25-2011, 11:48 AM   #17
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OK... plus 7...

And plus 2 if you want to work till Sept...



I do have a hard time believing that after 37 years as a fireman he has a 'small' pension... almost every place I have seen, this would be a pretty big pension... so... define 'small'....
I believe "small" was said tongue-in-cheek.
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Old 01-25-2011, 01:53 PM   #18
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thanks for all the good suggestions

trust me.....small means SMALL....no formal pension from the city (not a union job).....less than $1000 mo from the Georgia Fireman Pension Fund that he contributed to himself for the full 37 years

he does a "fair" share around the house but could do more so that weekends could be more fun/relaxing but I hate to ask it as he kept 2 jobs for almost 27 years so I don't mind him "doing nothing" for awhile

most people think of a fireman job & assume "union" with big pay & big benefits....not true of this fairly small city just south of Atlanta. His stubborn resolve to live below his means allowed him to accumulate quite a bit in a 401K.....his only "benefit" in retirement will be staying on the company health insurance for 36mos

I have nailed down our monthly expenses & showed him all the FIRECAL results and other calculators but I guess STUBBORN is his middle name or maybe he just wants some retirement time w/out me to do what he wants to do..??!!!!

I will probably end up working till after Sept but reading this & other retirement blogs (rv-dreams is another favorite) I guess I am just making it harder on myself.

You guys make it sound so nice..........no alarm clocks, no stress, no demands, no hurry up & do this or that.....I just can't wait!

I ask my husband each day when I get home...."honey, what did you do today"
he says "nothing"......I say "you did that yesterday"....he says "I know, Iwasn't finished yet!"

happy retirement to all who have gone before me.........hope to join you soon!
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:48 PM   #19
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Is your DH worried about the healthcare part of the equation?
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