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Hi, Im Neena... quitting job
Old 12-14-2015, 01:09 AM   #1
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Hi, Im Neena... quitting job

Hello! I quit high stress consulting job recently to take some time off and find something else to do a little later. I have been working and traveling for last 25 years and have made some investments so that i can easily take a few months off. i can even retire if I want to... by making a few living adjustments.

anyhow, i didn't go around announcing about quitting job. and going by some reactions, i wont even utter the 'Retirement' word. but i dont like to lie. so when friends/family enquired about my job, or work related travel... i told them i am taking some time off and will look for non-consulting and non/less travel job after a little while.

i am getting varied reactions. parents are happy that i am getting some much deserved rest. some other close fam members also appear genuinely happy for me. others show as if they are concerned but their comments probably stem from jealousy 'what do you do all day'; 'novelty will wear off, find something soon'; 'this is escapism'; 'you wont find a lesser paying job or junior positions fulfilling'; 'you shouldnt have quit job without finding another'; ... etc etc

its been couple of months, i am thoroughly enjoying my time off. i am working out 1 - 1.5 hours every day. eating healthier because i am not traveling like a mad person. i even lost 5-6 lbs and look fitter than ever. have been learning spanish and indulging in a few other things that i didnt get a chance to do. spending more time with parents, they are thrilled.

i am a strong person and have always taken my own decisions. have born the consequences of some mistakes but have little regret and generally i feel satisfied to have lived the way i best saw fit. i just wish that people would give me some credit (read: i havent lost my mind!) and stop bothering me with unsolicited advice... even though i dont take their comments seriously, it gets to be annoying esp if repeated everytime you meet them. i also sometimes worry about people wishing bad things for me out of jealousy. again, its not my intention to flaunt my circumstances. i dont go around announcing my lovely new routine. but its hard not to notice a stress free wrinkle free, very fit shining happy person

these reactions drove me to search on internet for similar cases and coping advice... that led me to this forum.

although i had planned to only take time off and take up another job. now i am motivated to think of early retirement in next 5 years or so... will check out this forum for planning advice.
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Old 12-14-2015, 04:36 AM   #2
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Welcome neena, and best of luck to you in your early retirement trial run. I'm returning in 20 weeks at 50, so I am expecting to get some of the reaction that you've been getting, and the physical and mental benefits you are enjoying.
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Old 12-14-2015, 07:18 AM   #3
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Welcome Neena, people will always question anything that isn't considered "status quo" I just chalk it up to human nature. Its even weird to me even though i'm the one that chose to retire at 43.. I mean this is the first year where when filling out taxes, that spot where "occupation" made me think .. hmm what do I put there?
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Old 12-14-2015, 08:21 AM   #4
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Thanks Davis, all the best to you as well!
Yes, it has been rewarding so far and i dont see 'novelty' wearing off anytime soon

Hi Karen, i cant wait to file taxes next year... will need to brace myself as i might get an earful from the CA as well. Congrats, 43 is very young and its great to achieve financial independence that early. well done. How has it been for you (retirement year i mean)?

And yes, i hear you about people getting weird when you do something that doesn't support their own life choices. i am kinda used to that.... haven't married my long time boyfriend, continue to have a blissful happy relationship, decided not to have kids.... and now this! lol
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Old 12-14-2015, 09:30 AM   #5
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Welcome Neena! I think you'll find a lot of useful info here, and I'm looking forward to hearing about your experiences.
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Old 12-14-2015, 09:51 AM   #6
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Welcome to the forum Neena!! My DW and I retired in our early 50s and we did not have children either so a bit unconventional. When we announced our retirement the number one response was "your not old enough" and my reply was "I am glad that I am young enough to retire." The looks we got were priceless some got it other did not. The number two response was "how did you pull that off I want to do the same". I responded "pure and simple we always spent way less than we made so we could spend it later."
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Old 12-14-2015, 02:19 PM   #7
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Welcome! The wonderful people on this forum gave me the information and confidence I needed to ER. Look at the reading list in the Early Retirement FAQ forum (by Nords).

I allow people the occasional dig at our lifestyle, but if it gets annoying I tell them that. If that doesn't work, I just let the relationship go. Relatives are tougher, but I keep those that don't get it at arms length. The vast majority of our friends and relatives have been happy for us, though some were worried at first.
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:59 AM   #8
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Thanks for all the support, guys!

So how to best answer the question "What do you do all day"... without losing your cool or without giving them details which invites more comments.
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Old 12-15-2015, 10:05 AM   #9
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Trawler... yes, exactly. you cannot over spend and save enough for ER. i opted for a modest condo and am using my 8 years old car ... because everything is paid off and i am debt free.
interestingly, one friend's hubby who earns way more than me, confessed that he would love to retire early as he is tired of 9 to 9 consulting work routine... but his wife is not willing to downsize or move from their house that costs 30K in property taxes!
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Old 12-15-2015, 11:03 AM   #10
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So how to best answer the question "What do you do all day"... without losing your cool or without giving them details which invites more comments.
My standard answer to "What do you do all day?" is "Anything I want to!"

Often that leads to a longer discussion which I actually don't mind at all. I ask folks what they would do if every day was a Saturday for them? That's how it feels to me. I spend a lot of time doing many different things but it changes day to day, week to week. Sometimes things are planned in advance, a lot of times they aren't. Just like Saturdays used to be for me when I worked.
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Old 12-15-2015, 03:22 PM   #11
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In addition to the "anything I want to", I remind them that life goes on. We're talking about 50-60 hours a week where they work and we don't. We sleep 8 hours a night, exercise regularly, take our time cooking, eating, learning etc. etc. ... and it usually gets across.

It isn't the absolute truth, since we don't have to de-stress and rest up to prepare for the 50-60 hours of work.
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Old 12-15-2015, 04:47 PM   #12
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Neena,

"Its been couple of months, i am thoroughly enjoying my time off. i am working out 1 - 1.5 hours every day. eating healthier because i am not traveling like a mad person. i even lost 5-6 lbs and look fitter than ever. have been learning spanish and indulging in a few other things that i didnt get a chance to do. spending more time with parents, they are thrilled."

You should print this out and tape it to your computer monitor, mirror, bedpost, whatever! This is your mantra for continuing sanity and happiness.

When people who don't know me ask the "what do you do all day?" or "aren't you bored?" question, I usually just say that I am pursuing some personal projects that are important to me. If they probe further, I just tell them they're personal and I'm not ready to really talk about them yet, but will be happy to at some point in the future. In many situations I don't use the retirement descriptor; but instead refer to my current state as "Bryan Release 2.0" Most people get that and are genuinely happy that I have found a way to re-tool my life. There is jealously as well. But I cannot solve that problem...I don't own it.

I retired recently (before age 60; but just) and live in Switzerland, where my last j*b brought me. I thank my lucky stars every day!

Best of luck to you and stay strong and happy.

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Old 12-15-2015, 05:55 PM   #13
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The break seems to help your quality of life. Its good to take a break. It may just be a break. Many people dont completely retire.
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:49 PM   #14
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whisper, i like 'anything i want to'...

walkinwood, thanks for your perspective! i agree

bryan, hahaha 'Bryan Relase 2.0'... lol brilliant! im gonna borrow that. will go nicely with my IT background. wow, switzerland sounds awesome! happy for you! thanks for the good wishes.

cheers!
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Old 12-23-2015, 07:05 AM   #15
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Hi Welcome Neena,
I so enjoyed reading your post, as I am in a similar position. I guess lots of the folks here are :-). I left my last job October 9th this year as my IT position got too stressful for me at 54. So I'm now just into my 3rd month not working. I too got and still get some questions and funny looks concerning my work status. I have considered a part time gig but if my finances work out I may not pursue that at all. I'm also enjoying working out and have just started swimming a bit. I'm very fit and love to cook now. My spouse and I hosted a Christmas party last weekend and I made almost all of the food! It was a pleasure in that I had 3 weeks to plan and set the house up for a party. So now the next thing I'm planning is to remodel my master bath..eventually. Then some travel in the spring and a long range downsize and relocation.
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Old 12-23-2015, 03:43 PM   #16
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Hello Neena,

Welcome aboard.

I didn't tell family and friends pretty much until after the fact. I only told co-w*rkers when I had to, but not a moment too soon. Congrats!
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Old 12-23-2015, 05:17 PM   #17
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Sounds like you're on more of a sabbatical than retirement. It's your business when, and if, the sabbatical ends. :-)


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Old 12-23-2015, 08:39 PM   #18
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Thanks for all the support, guys!

So how to best answer the question "What do you do all day"... without losing your cool or without giving them details which invites more comments.
"Whatever HAS to be done. Then, I do whatever I like."

If they want more info., I reply, "The list is long!"

(Who wants to waste time explaining oneself?)
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Old 12-23-2015, 08:54 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by neena View Post
Trawler... yes, exactly. you cannot over spend and save enough for ER. i opted for a modest condo and am using my 8 years old car ... because everything is paid off and i am debt free.
interestingly, one friend's hubby who earns way more than me, confessed that he would love to retire early as he is tired of 9 to 9 consulting work routine... but his wife is not willing to downsize or move from their house that costs 30K in property taxes!
neena, you will find a lot of kindred spirits on this forum. Many of us RE'd because we spent a long time living below our means. To me, freedom from a demanding career ALWAYS had much bigger appeal than "stuff." With many big ticket purchases, DH and I would ask ourselves, "Do we want to work to save up to pay for this, or to make payments on it? or would we rather go without it and quit work sooner?" (Sometimes we might opt for the more modest version of an item.)

"Quitting work sooner" usually won, and we never regretted it. (Especially because DH passed away after only about three years of retirement.)

"Stuff" easily loses its luster. But time cannot be retrieved, once it has passed.

Welcome to the forum!

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Old 12-23-2015, 09:29 PM   #20
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"This is escapism"

Hell yeah! I can't wait to "escape".




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