Hi... I'm scared

[Lisa99]

Ok, so I'm not new to this forum but in less than a month I'll be new to retirement.

I've worked hard to get here ("Leaving Ameriprise") but now that I'm here my stomach does a back flip every time I think about January 11 (the day that I'll be told I'm being laid off).

I've volunteered to be laid off, which is a good thing since I'm saving one other person's job, but I'm walking away from a six-figure salary and a job that I don't dislike.

I have so much lined up to do after retirement that I know I won't get bored, our finances are in great shape, and in my profession a lot of people are contractors... but I'm still scared.

I think it's just scared of something different since I've worked since I was 14 and I know a lot of you have been through the same thing, but my feelings are really surprising me since I've been eagerly looking forward to now for a long time.

Thanks for listening! Any advice is appreciated.

 

[WestLake]

I have a friend at my company who actually got fired after 30 years. I'm not far behind him in seniority. I sometimes find myself jealous that the decision was made for him. Another feeling I didn't expect...I also recently had minor surgery which is making my OMY (actually two more years) plan seem very stupid! I've seen people post that you will know when it is time...(I'll be 58 next year)....and I'm getting that.. how old are you Lisa?

 

[Lisa99]

I'm 54.

DH is 50 and retired last year so I honestly do want to be able to go out and play along with him but the nerves are still there.

 

[Which Roger]

I'm 54.

DH is 50 and retired last year so I honestly do want to be able to go out and play along with him but the nerves are still there.

ER is a big change, and the fear you feel is quite common. You are prepared financially, and it sounds like you won't be bored in retirement, so just dive into your new life, and the fear will pass.

 

[Beldar]

I have so much lined up to do after retirement that I know I won't get bored, our finances are in great shape, and in my profession a lot of people are contractors... but I'm still scared.

I was rather apprehensive when I ER'd this past June. But, I knew I prepared in all the right ways thanks to not only what I learned here, but along the way of 35+yrs of w*rk life.

You'll get over it once you join us on the dark side . The stress and worry will just evaporate in no time. Give it a try

 

[Willers]

Your post is timely since I'm in an almost identical situation and was thinking of starting a thread on the same topic.

I've done all of the homework and it tells me we're OK (DW retired in July and I go in Jan), but am getting more stressed as the date approaches. I think you hit the nail on the head when you talked about how long you've worked and walking away from a nice salary.

Maybe we should start a support group for those on countdowns...

I'm just trying to remind myself that we're ready to go and that I've done all of the prep I can do and have contingency plans in place. I actually did a PowerPoint for DW to convince her to go. I looked through it last week as a reminder that nothing has changed since then.

I'm also trying to focus on looking ahead to the items on my list of "never had time" items. When I think of those it offsets the stress and gets me excited about the future.

I don't know if any of that will work for you, but I hope you find the secret to eliminating the concern. If you do, let me know.

Also, you could always run FireCalc a couple of thousand times and say "hey, it works every time!"

 

[stepford]

Welcome to the "What the heck am I DOING?" club. I also took a voluntary layoff that will end the highest paying job I'll ever have in 2 more weeks. Even with 50+ years expenses saved up I'm still hearing that little "You're making a big mistake" voice whisper in my ear.

I'm thinking the best part about the layoff is that it's irrevocable now. No backsliding! Time to make a new better post-work life.

 

[Lisa99]

Also, you could always run FireCalc a couple of thousand times and say "hey, it works every time!"

it also works in Quicken Life Planner, Fidelity's RIP calculator, i-ORP, and a couple others that I can't remember their names.

Every one of the calculators came in with a similar spend rate/success rate, so I know I'm worrying for nothing; but still.....

 

[boog]

Lisa, I share your anxiety. I'm 58 and for the last three years have been dealing with angst over leaving a good paying job I don't hate. DW retired the end of June this year, and two months ago we relocated to our retirement location, a 55+ community in central Florida. We love it here and there are many activities we enjoy participating in. I planned to work another year, thinking "one more year" would be prudent. My unforeseen problem is my great displeasure in repeatedly having to miss an enjoyable activity because I have to w*rk. I've come to realize that, for me, the impetus to retire isn't that I hate the work, but that I desire more the free time to do the things I'd rather do. Turning off the paycheck and trusting in our plan (which is adequate by all measures we've used to evaluate) is simply what I have to do to achieve what I want at this stage in my life. After some soul searching and much discussion with DW, I have decided to retire in April '16. This is indeed scary for me too - I can only hope the peace of mind will come with time and experience with this new phase of life. It is reassuring to be around so many here on this forum and in my community who testify that making the jump is the best choice they've made. I think there's something to this "positive energy" flowing from er.org!

 

[Walt34]

Here's a timely post by marko, who went through the same experience 10 years ago:

http://www.early-retirement.org/for...ay-i-retired-an-update-79735.html#post1663962

 

[travelover]

I retired at age 54, but that was nine years ago. I had butterflies, too, and thought about all the money I was walking away from, wondering if I truly had enough, wondering if I made a mistake.

Fast forward to today, one terrible recession later.... and I worried for nothing. I'm spending less than I imagined, I'm never bored, my health is great, especially my mental health.

It is a big change and it is normal to second guess, but all I can say is... relax! It is gonna be great.

 

[hakuna matata]

Once you are 'in' retirement you will wonder what you worried about. I have been retired since Oct last year and my wife is coming up on her 1 year retirement in two weeks.

We BOTH walked away from 6 figure salaries and good benefits and what most people would consider the prime of my career at age 55. BUT we are a lot happier on the retirement side. I did a few small projects this last year but we haven't tapped into that money for any expenses, and it was easily 20% of what I used to actually bring home in pay. So it is nice to know if I do work now it is just because I want to do the project and if it interferes with what I want to do then I don't do it. I haven't worked on anything in the last 2 months though.

I was worried with the same concerns you have, I had went over our numbers a billion times and was hesitant to pull the trigger, but once you actually do, well for me at least, I stopped worrying about it. Nothing I could do and so I just enjoyed the ride so far!

Good luck!

 

[Davis65]

You're not worried about money or about being bored. What is it that you'll miss? Is it the sense of purpose and community you find in work? You might be a candidate for signing up for a volunteer commitment to ease you out of work - something where you commit to spending some hours a week doing something worthwhile for your community. This could give you some structure to your work, purpose, and a community of people to work with you. Just a thought.

 

[NanoSour]

Hi Lisa, since everything seems to be in order, i.e. financial and lifestyle issues; I'm reminded of a famous quote we all know; "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself".

Just remember to smile everyday and kiss your significant other and all will be OK. I promise.

You've worked hard and now it's Lisa-time!

 

[Willers]

it also works in Quicken Life Planner, Fidelity's RIP calculator, i-ORP, and a couple others that I can't remember their names.

Every one of the calculators came in with a similar spend rate/success rate, so I know I'm worrying for nothing; but still.....

Done the same and still the anxiety remains for me too. It does help to see DW so blissfully happy in retirement. I asked her the other day if she missed anything about work. She just said "nope" and took another sip of her glass of wine.

 

[Rustic23]

An old saying "Time heals all wounds" It also holds for ER worries. Everything says you are good for take off, yet you are still apprehensive to release the breaks. Some time in the future, a year, two maybe ten, you will be posting the 'Why was I ever worried!' post.

For as long as I have been reading post here, a little over 10 years, I can only remember a couple of threads/post "I'm going back to work" That would put the percentage around .0001% or maybe lower. *just a guess.

 

[cyber888]

If you have more than $1 million dollars and you are frugal, no need to fear. I'm looking for another job next year or retire if I don't get any. The though of retiring does bring anxiety attacks as the unknown waits for us. It's a leap of faith not to be getting a paycheck and just spending down your savings.

 

[freedomatlast]

I actually did a PowerPoint for DW to convince her to go.

Doing PowerPoint presentations to make your point with your wife is a sure sign that you've been with MegaCorp way too long.

 

[Willers]

Doing PowerPoint presentations to make your point with your wife is a sure sign that you've been with MegaCorp way too long.

Yeah, I'm afraid I have to agree. I look forward to never using it again!


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[Davis65]

I'm reminded of a famous quote we all know; "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself".

And spiders.

They freak me out.

 

[RAE]

ER is a big change, and the fear you feel is quite common. You are prepared financially, and it sounds like you won't be bored in retirement, so just dive into your new life, and the fear will pass.

+1. I retired at age 54, some 6 years ago now. After working for 31+ years, it was a big change, of course. But, it was a change I had looked forward to for years, and prepared for, as it sounds like you have done also. Relax, I think you will be just fine, and your fears will quickly fade away, as mine did. Enjoy your new life, you will find that it is every bit as good as you thought it could be. Freedom to control what you do with your time is a wonderful thing

 

[rdy2go]

I am close to giving my notice and go over the numbers in my head many nights before I go to sleep. I told a friend that and he said he has the same dreams since he is preparing to retire also. I think it must be pretty universal.

 

[pb4uski]

Yup.... change is hard.

 

[MRG]

I left 2.5 years ago from a j*b I didn't dislike. It took me a while to adjust, when I did it's awesome.

These last months I'm almost resenting the last few years I spent there. That will fade as we are having the time of our lives.

 

[Time2re]

I remember those same feelings 6 months ago when I FIRE'd. Reading many of the posts here really helped me move to the next phase of my life. Everything has turned out much better than I thought, especially since all that stress is gone from my mind and my body. Went back to the office for a friends retirement party, everyone commenting how I look 10 years younger. I realized I feel at least 10 years younger - "just do it!" Congrats!