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Old 03-24-2014, 07:35 PM   #21
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Give it time. I dreamed about work for weeks and still do sometimes - 6 years into ER.

Hopefully, you have things you are interested in doing now that you have the time. If not, start experimenting.

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Old 03-24-2014, 08:26 PM   #22
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Friend of a friend made a ton of money and retired and bought a yacht for himself and his wife to travel the world. After less than a week he couldn't take it anymore and chartered a flight home and went right back to work. Do whatever makes you happy.

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Old 03-25-2014, 04:40 PM   #23
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See my post of 10/01/13. Basically, same issue as you. Retirement requires adjustment, particularly if came suddenly or as another poster said, if you have "Type A" tendencies. I'd give it a little time.

I ended up going back to work, after publicly wondering if I should on this board. I made a commitment to people I'd worked with earlier in my career, and I really wish I had stayed retired. Financially, I'm fine. I could quit tomorrow and never worry again. But, as I said, I made a commitment. Except with politicians, promises matter.

So, take some time before jumping off a cliff.
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I'm retired one week and want to go back, how crazy is that
Old 03-25-2014, 05:14 PM   #24
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I'm retired one week and want to go back, how crazy is that

It took me several months - I actually experienced something close to depression. Now, I can't believe I felt that way lol. It's a major life change. You're going to experience some immediate remorse. Get involved in something else right away.

Need a new phrase for it - something akin to 'buyers remorse'.
"Growing old is no excuse for growing up."
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:48 PM   #25
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A lot of people do end up going back to work. I did for another five years but with a significant difference. That time I had the option to quit any time I wanted to.

That makes a lot of difference.
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:54 PM   #26
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It is normal to feel anxious during a major life transition. Give yourself a few weeks to see how it evolves.
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Old 03-26-2014, 04:52 PM   #27
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Give it time. I have been retired 10 weeks and had some of the same thoughts. Then I really thought about going back to that grind and I have to smile at my freedom. Trust me, even if you could go back, in most cases it will not be the same. I figured my legacy wad about 9 nana-seconds! In other words, in most cases, you will not be missed. I went back after a 6 month re-assignment and it was like a new and more ruthless company. In hindsight, I should never have come back. Hope this helps at least from my experience.
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:17 PM   #28
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I first met my future FIL after his ER at age 42. He hadn't adjusted yet.

One night my future DW asked if I would help future FIL to put up a fence aroung his new garden. 60'x60', the fence 4' galvinived rabbit wire. Future FIL had spend a couple hours every night downstairs painting the galvinived wire with Rust - Oleum. He'd painted it by hand with a model airplane brush!

FIL got over it, it took a while. He and MIL spend 30+ wonderful years on the gulf coast of FL. Once he got used to it, he loved ER.
Best wishes,
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:19 PM   #29
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Are you nuts?

Seriously, give it at least 2 months. It's a major life change and needs time.
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:32 PM   #30
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I retired at 50 4 years ago and haven't looked back once. My DH however, is having some 2nd thoughts about ERing at the end of June. My words to him are if you don't retire I am going to start sending you pictures of the places I am going on vacation. I will leave an empty spot in the pictures "wishing you were here" but I am going. Give it a little time. You can always volunteer, they will let you work 40 hours a week. Good luck with your new found freedom!
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Old 03-27-2014, 06:28 AM   #31
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Work provides a certain structure to your life. Living without it can be disorienting at first. Give it some time.
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
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Old 03-27-2014, 07:26 AM   #32
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It's been a week and a half since you can't go back to your old workplace.....they wouldn't know who you are.
"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:09 AM   #33
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I retired March 14th. It doesn't feel permanent yet, but more like I'm on Spring Break even though I have no plans to look for work. I had been waiting 25 years for that day to arrive with a long bucket list of things to do and have no regrets so far. I am an INTJ personality.
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Old 03-27-2014, 10:04 AM   #34
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i can relate. We have issues dealing with eldercare that keeps us from doing what we really want to do (travel) and that has stifled a lot of what we were looking forward to. We are working on that issue.

I simply could not have done what I was doing any more. While in our current situation I do find some days less than fulfilling (OK, boring) there is not ONCE that I would rather be doing my old job or any other work. I'll let my engineering license lapse end of year; me ever needing it again is laughable.

I'm not happy, wild, and free (yet) but in a much better place. My full retirement was at about 61 and one of the things I have found instructive is that in fact, SOME day, I would have HAD to retire. Better at 61 than 73. Yes, some find working til death pleasant and it does happen. It's not what I'd want. So if you wrap your head around the fact that no, you don't wish to work until you die, then at some point you have to make the adjustment. I'm doing that now. Just happened to run into a former employee who was on our street and she remarked how happy I seemed. I was not putting on a show, and in reality, she was right. All I have to do is recall what being in meetings, confrontations, arguments, was like. And being directed by idiots and ego maniacs. My rule of thumb now is if it don't make me smile I don't do it.

Best of luck. Retirement comes very easy for some, others not so much. If you just relax and do some thinking on it, you will get there.
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Old 03-27-2014, 11:34 AM   #35
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It helps if you had a life and friends separate from w*rk already. If not then it will take a while.

I had two time milestones in mind when I ER'd 3 yrs ago. The first milestone was 30 days because I had never been away from w*rk longer than that before. I got to 30 days without a problem. The second time milestone was 6 months. I figured that was how long it was going to take me to complete the finite bucket list of household chores and repairs I felt like I wanted to do. At 6 months I had already found classroom and volunteer activities that have occupied me ever since.

One way to think about it is to apply some of your w*rk skills and habits toward some personal project or volunteer commitment. I have a Google calendar with things scheduled and I approach my volunteer duties as professionally as before.

Also commit to do something social (i.e. with other people you know or don't know) each week. Go out to lunch with former w*rkmates 1x/month. Joint a book club (check out meet

Take some kind of trip somewhere. I've taken two road trips. I loved going at my own pace without needing to get back at any particular time and not worrying about catching up on w*rk once I returned. But more importantly, a road trip just gets you away from the familiar and may help reset your perspective.
Happy, Wild, and Free
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Old 03-27-2014, 12:36 PM   #36
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It might be wise to have an ongoing dialogue with your wife to understand what her understanding of retirement is. It is a journey you will eventually be taking together and being able to identify shared goals now will make it easier for both of you in the future. It might even lead to you finding purpose now in building a strong foundation for your future life together.
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Old 03-27-2014, 12:43 PM   #37
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I highly recommend Ernie Zelinski's book. I gave my copy to friends that are getting ready to retire and it is helping them in their retirement mindset. My retirement came due to an injury and was very difficult as I enjoyed what I did for a living. I kinda floundered for a while until I accepted how my life was now different. Not bad in any way just something unfamiliar and different to what I was used to. Unfortunately, I like many people see work as who I am (was). Having devoted more time to it than anything else in my life so I knew it better than anything else. I still miss some of my old job but now I have discovered so much more around me that it has become an exciting time for me. Need to give yourself time to adjust to a new stage in your life.
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Old 03-27-2014, 01:41 PM   #38
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SanMan87, I just went and looked at your bio and saw a couple of things that caught my eye. One, you said you had no hobbies and were looking for hobbies and two you are 60 and a retired NYC civil servant. That tells me that you will need to develop new interests and that you are most likely very used to a routine to your life. It had an orderly fashion to it. You had to get up and go somewhere everyday. Now you you have no responsibility and to a certain degree no direction. Please don't take that as negative statement by me in anyway. It is easy to flounder at first because you simply do not know what to do with your time and yourself. Read both of Ernie's books (Joy of not working and Wild Happy and Free) for some great ideas. There is a great diverse group of people on this forum that will also help you with many ideas. You will get there. In the beginning it might be very helpful to impose some structure in your life. Get up a the same time or close to when you used to and get ready as if you where going to work, then work on a project at home, take a course thru community center or college or head to library. Many options out there, just need to experience as many as you can until you find something that clicks for you. Good Luck to you.
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Old 03-27-2014, 06:07 PM   #39
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I ER'd a year and a half ago and still do occasionally "miss" certain aspects of work. It always goes away when I have lunch with a working friend!
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Old 03-27-2014, 07:44 PM   #40
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What kind comments. Man, I love this forum, you folks are wonderful.

Give it time. I dreamed about work for weeks and still do sometimes - 6 years into ER.
Remember graduating from college and having dreams about finals and never attending the class? Well, I'm finally over that and then last night I go and have a nightmare about work.

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