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I've come a long way and have my sights set on FIRE
Old 08-12-2019, 12:28 PM   #1
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I've come a long way and have my sights set on FIRE

Hi everyone! *waves*

I am an early retirement hopeful. Though I have read extensively on the subject of early retirement and investing, I have not yet formulated a solid plan and date.

I'm 30, and I've clawed my way through a ton of crap to get here. I became severely physically and cognitively disabled by chronic illness at age 16 and spent most of the next 8 years fighting for my life with round the clock care. I finally completed high school from bed at age 23. Then with some improvement I moved to the streets when I was still too ill to care for myself because it was the only way I could get independent of a bad living situation. I was living off SSI at $733/month and relied on dates and strangers' kindness for my caregiving needs; I qualified for caregiving paid by the state but they refused to provide it while I was homeless.

After a couple years of homelessness I met my now DH, and we lived together in my minivan. About 3.5 years ago we survived a major car accident together; he was unable to continue working due to his injuries and thus we were both living off my $733/month. To this day we have not yet received the settlement money from that accident.

To make a long story shorter, we now live in a paid off RV and rent someone's backyard to keep it in, which is technically against code and could dissolve at any moment but has worked for over a year. We picked up a dog within a month of getting off the streets not because that was financially smart but because I found out my parents had abandoned the family dog of 12 years at a shelter and I wasn't okay with that.

DH attempted several work stints but his injuries kept forcing him to quit. My health gradually improved enough to work some if I pushed myself hard, and I landed my first job ever housecleaning. We barely stayed off the streets surviving on food banks and my part time minimum wage paycheck. Extreme frugality is our normal, obviously.

So now it's the good part. My job situation has stabilized; I'm still disabled primarily by severe PTSD from all the crap so my paycheck varies wildly due to missing work, but let's say it's 20K/year. (I will be eligible for SSDI in a couple years if I manage to keep working.) I earn additional income through a kitchen job and independent gigs, say 4-6K/year. I do bonus chasing that nets us another 1-2K/year. DH just landed a full time job it looks like he might be able to stick with, and that looks like it'll be 23K/year.

So we've got an estimated 48-51K/year.

It's DH's job that's putting new wind in my sails that we can do this! We just got off of food stamps.

Our expenses vary from approximately $1500-2K/month. We budget closer to $2500/month for sinking funds/emergencies. We track everything in YNAB. With the new job though we're both going to be paying for healthcare and that will increase our expenses by probably $300+/month. I'm attempting to work more to compensate.

We have two vehicles (2004 Sienna, 2003 Corolla) and an RV (a 2004 5th wheel), all paid off. I've been paying off what I owe to friends for helping me through some rough times, and have 2K more to go on that--if a large client pays me this month I can knock that out.

Accident settlement money is an unknown factor, as is an old trust fund that supposedly I will receive someday. Current savings is 14K.

My job offers a 3% match through Vanguard, which I've been doing since I became eligible this year, bringing me to $556 in my Simple IRA (I recently lost $125 due to their annual fees, which I didn't know about, else I would have had fewer accounts.) Right now it's all in stocks but I plan to change that to 80% stock, 20% bonds.

DH's and my dream is to have kids and raise a family with both of us enjoying plentiful quality family time, which is why we resonate so strongly with FIRE. Life has also taught me that bad stuff is going to happen and you can't rely on your own or your spouse's ability to work or for disability benefits to be sufficient for your needs. I am incredibly motivated to create a large safety net for us, and FIRE feels like the largest safety net of all. We were waiting on kids until we were financially stable, and with this new job are now ready to begin planning the next steps.

I'll reserve specific questions for other threads; for now I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi!
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:55 PM   #2
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Yours is a great bootstrap story! Congrats for getting through a long road of tough times and pulling your life together.
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Old 08-12-2019, 01:56 PM   #3
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Welcome! Yours is both a sad, but inspiring story! Sounds like you are doing all the right things now! I surely hope that the remainder of your life has smoother sailing than the first part. I admire your determination and efforts....not many in your shoes would succeed in pulling themselves up!

At your age, and assets, I'd stick with a 100% equities allocation, as you probably have 20+ years to retirement, and the bond portion would be a major drag on performance over that period. Best wishes!
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Old 08-12-2019, 04:31 PM   #4
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I'd not be taking on or planning additional responsibility in your circumstance. Kids cost time & money, do not kid yourself !

It baffles me when someone readily creates extra challenges in their life already facing so many unknowns. jmo

Good luck though, seriously.
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Old 08-12-2019, 04:38 PM   #5
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I'd not be taking on or planning additional responsibility in your circumstance. Kids cost time & money, do not kid yourself !

It baffles me when someone readily creates extra challenges in their life already facing so many unknowns. jmo

Good luck though, seriously.
Having kids has been our dream together for the past 4 years, and even longer before we met. It is something we have thought through extensively and have been waiting to be financially stable first.

We were being responsible by not having kids while living on the streets, we were being responsible by not having kids when we were living on just one part time income with no savings. Since we are now on two incomes with savings we feel we are approaching a time when we are able to seriously consider it and be able to support them.

Your suggestion to just not have kids due to circumstances is kinda surprising to me, considering I will live my life feeling incomplete without them. Do you feel all disabled folks shouldn't have kids?
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Old 08-12-2019, 06:12 PM   #6
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Uh, I don't think bolt was referring to you being disabled and not having children. You and your DH have been through a lot together. But maybe make sure you both can hold onto your jobs for a year and that you can get a place that you won't get kicked out of in the future. (You say he's had to leave other jobs because of his previous injuries. You say that you're living situation could change at any minute since its against code. Etc.....)
Just be realistic and keep chugging along. And honestly, children should not be responsible to fill a void you are feeling. Children don't always fill that void that some people feel. Children put a lot of strain on relationships. If they are not good sleepers, then you and your DH may feel exhausted and overwhelmed. It's not all sunshine and roses having children.
Good luck.
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Old 08-12-2019, 06:22 PM   #7
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Very inspiring story. Welcome to the site. My story started out kind of like yours. Fast forward 40 years. My son just grew up at 38. Daughter good all the way. I have also learned you are a parent till the day you die. Would I do again? Absolutely. Just my 2 cents.

Good luck with your future, whatever you chose it to be.
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Old 08-12-2019, 06:52 PM   #8
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Just be realistic and keep chugging along. And honestly, children should not be responsible to fill a void you are feeling. Children don't always fill that void that some people feel. Children put a lot of strain on relationships...It's not all sunshine and roses having children.
Good luck.
+1. Having kids at your age, when you're just getting back on your feet is an option, but if you choose that option now, it seems that would set you back financially, to where you can't ever FIRE. Whether an early or on-time retirement is more important than having kids is up to you, but realistically, it will be hard at this point in your lives, with your assets, and current salaries, to do both. Not impossible, but difficult at the very least. And kids will add financial stress to your situation. Here's to whatever is best for you!
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Old 08-12-2019, 09:06 PM   #9
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Uh, I don't think bolt was referring to you being disabled and not having children. You and your DH have been through a lot together. But maybe make sure you both can hold onto your jobs for a year and that you can get a place that you won't get kicked out of in the future. (You say he's had to leave other jobs because of his previous injuries. You say that you're living situation could change at any minute since its against code. Etc.....)
Just be realistic and keep chugging along. And honestly, children should not be responsible to fill a void you are feeling. Children don't always fill that void that some people feel. Children put a lot of strain on relationships. If they are not good sleepers, then you and your DH may feel exhausted and overwhelmed. It's not all sunshine and roses having children.
Good luck.
Oh, I didn't realize my post was a bit unclear. I have been working for over two years straight, now.

We're living cheaply so that we can save money; If necessary in the future we could sell the RV and rent conventionally, but rent in the Seattle area is pretty astronomical so we wanted to stick with this for now. We're tied to the general area mainly because my kid SIL (10 years old) is going through some stuff and needs us in her corner.

It's super nice of you to be concerned about our relationship. DH and I actually went through several months of our dog having such severe issues that DH and I had to take shifts sleeping, never sleeping at the same time since one of us had to be up with him at all hours. This was leading up to our wedding, too! So we got a nice little test run of being awake at all hours with a distressed sentient being you can't fix. It wasn't fun, but it didn't strain our relationship in the least.

Now DH works night shift while I work day shift. He arrives home halfway through my night, I wake up and leave for work halfway through his night, and by the time I arrive home he's already left for work again. We've been writing emails and doing phone calls during commutes/breaks to stay in touch during the week.

All I was saying was that the dream of having kids is very close to my heart. Someone on the internet says don't do it because they cost money and aren't always roses, well, I'm not going to just up and decide "well in THAT case..." lol, y'know?
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Old 08-12-2019, 09:12 PM   #10
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+1. Having kids at your age, when you're just getting back on your feet is an option, but if you choose that option now, it seems that would set you back financially, to where you can't ever FIRE. Whether an early or on-time retirement is more important than having kids is up to you, but realistically, it will be hard at this point in your lives, with your assets, and current salaries, to do both. Not impossible, but difficult at the very least. And kids will add financial stress to your situation. Here's to whatever is best for you!
Yeah I see that, I'm still trying to figure out the best timing of it all. I'm definitely eyeing ways to increase income as a potential solution. One reason I joined was I was hoping to crunch some numbers and see what's possible, what's needed to get where we want to go, and figure out the timing of kids and what the tradeoffs are if we wait another 2 years, another 3, etc.

We've seen how much financial stress an older dog adds to our situation, and we know that's just a precursor to the kind of cost kids add! How to put this...I know we don't yet have all the pieces to have everything we want, but I think I can figure out a way to get there if I know what's needed and I keep tackling it. I mean, that's how I've overcome everything else in my life so we'll see how far it can take me!
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Old 08-13-2019, 04:56 PM   #11
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Yeah I see that, I'm still trying to figure out the best timing of it all. I'm definitely eyeing ways to increase income as a potential solution. One reason I joined was I was hoping to crunch some numbers and see what's possible, what's needed to get where we want to go, and figure out the timing of kids and what the tradeoffs are if we wait another 2 years, another 3, etc.

We've seen how much financial stress an older dog adds to our situation, and we know that's just a precursor to the kind of cost kids add! How to put this...I know we don't yet have all the pieces to have everything we want, but I think I can figure out a way to get there if I know what's needed and I keep tackling it. I mean, that's how I've overcome everything else in my life so we'll see how far it can take me!
Once you have a year's emergency fund built-up, and have at least one reliable car, along with job stability, I'd consider myself closer.
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Old 08-13-2019, 09:27 PM   #12
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Once you have a year's emergency fund built-up, and have at least one reliable car, along with job stability, I'd consider myself closer.
Both our vehicles are reliable. Sure they have repairs that come up, but nothing that would leave you stranded. Things like the timing belt that would cause immediate engine death have been taken care of. I've stayed on top of maintenance because when we were living in the minivan, the ability to always drive away was crucial when sleeping in sketchy neighborhoods. I did let it slip a bit after we got the Corolla because it was being used less often, but with DH's new job I spent 2K last month bringing both vehicles up to speed.

My first two vehicles on the streets were vintage clunkers and I didn't have money to fix them when they kept breaking down, so I became a quick study. I'm still no mechanic but I more or less know my way around a vehicle's innards. I do my own maintenance as well as minor repairs, e.g. recently an ignition coil went bad the morning of a planned hike. I sleepily went down to the auto parts store, got the part, fixed it, and headed inside for breakfast. Technically we could have gone without it fixed but would have had worse mileage. It we less of an inconvenience than taking the thing to our mechanic.

The reason we have "only" 14K saved so far is because March-June we paid of 3K of debt to a friend (for my first vehicle purchase that launched me to the streets) and last month was the 2K towards vehicles. This month I'm hoping to get that 2K out to finish paying off the debt to friends for helping me reclaim my life. We have paid all this off while remaining net positive each month (save for one unusual month where we were less than $15 in the red). This is before DH got this job. I landed a large client, which is entirely unpredictable and might already be concluded, but what also helped is that in March I got a $1/hour raise at my job as part the negotiations to get me to stay after I gave notice, and then just a couple weeks ago I got yet another $1/hour raise.

So the potential to start seriously saving is really new. The 14K is all accumulated this past year, some of it was wedding gift but the rest we built up on our own. Then when we hit 14K we decided to pay off debts before continuing, and then the job happened so we knew we needed to make sure both vehicles were in top shape. Once the debt is paid, we'll be back to saving, and since our living expenses are fairly low we'll have a year's worth in no time.

Also October is coming up where I work a second seasonal job 3 nights/week in addition to my day job. That will bring in a nice fat bonus. Also, I've contacted my boss asking if it would be possible to increase my hours to full time. DH and I have sticker shock about how much he'll now have to pay for health insurance and I can get myself covered for cheap if I go full time at my job. Not sure my health can handle it, but I can think of one way to find out.

DH got promoted his second week on this job (!!!), so it's looking really hopeful. And while you mention job stability, my focus that serves a similar purpose is I'd ideally want to wait, at minimum, until he's worked enough for paid family leave to kick in before having a baby. WA state law starting 2020 will have 12 weeks of paid family and medical leave for pretty much all employees, if you've worked a certain number of hours the past 4 quarters. I'd want to make sure we're both utilizing that benefit.

So yes, a lot to consider, but I really think we're headed the right direction.
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Old 08-14-2019, 01:10 AM   #13
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So yes, a lot to consider, but I really think we're headed the right direction.

Good luck to you both on your continued rise in financial safety. It must feel really good to have the ability to save money these days after your initial troubles.
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Old 08-14-2019, 06:53 AM   #14
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It's super nice of you to be concerned about our relationship. DH and I actually went through several months of our dog having such severe issues that DH and I had to take shifts sleeping, never sleeping at the same time since one of us had to be up with him at all hours. This was leading up to our wedding, too! So we got a nice little test run of being awake at all hours with a distressed sentient being you can't fix. It wasn't fun, but it didn't strain our relationship in the least.
That sounds like a very good trial run for raising an infant/toddler! And with an emergency fund built up, it sounds like you're going to be prepared for financial obstacles, too, which I think is what some people are concerned about. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't raise a child properly on a strict budget. It sounds like you have a good attitude, and as long as you can cover the basic necessities, it's much more important that they be raised in a loving home than they have designer clothes or the latest electronics.

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Now DH works night shift while I work day shift. He arrives home halfway through my night, I wake up and leave for work halfway through his night, and by the time I arrive home he's already left for work again. We've been writing emails and doing phone calls during commutes/breaks to stay in touch during the week.
That also could put a strain on a relationship, especially if you're both already sleep-deprived and stressed, so it's good that you're already dealing well with that. It actually has advantages WRT child care and errands, so if you can make it work you have a leg up. Best of luck!
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Old 08-14-2019, 07:32 AM   #15
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Love it.

You now have a proven ability to take the punches and to keep getting up to continue the fight. You don't whine and ask "why me?" . It seems you just make a plan and push forward. Your writing here indicates the intelligence, self awareness, and sense of responsibility for yourself necessary to accomplish anything you set out to do.

God Bless You and Good Luck. You are going to be fine.

Remember to have fun along the way and enjoy those Children when that additional blessing is bestowed upon you.

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Old 08-19-2019, 04:19 PM   #16
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Fireflower...Inspiring story but not sure I'm tracking. You say you need to go F/T in order to get cheaper health ins but your employer is matching 3%. Not sure I'm following on the employer piece here. Are they offering p/t employees 401-k with an employer match? If so, that's highly unusual. What sort of work do you do? You mentioned you are handy with repairing cars. The avg auto tech in Seattle can make between 45-65k per year. Thoughts of going to trade school? You could add to your DH's 23 per year and end up with a potential 70-75k+ household income per year in less than 18 months.Also, I'd move out of Seattle. Way to expensive for your combined income. Move to a LCOL and get an immediate 30% bump in your spending power. Not sure I am clear on "my kid" and SIL but at 10 years old a move shouldn't impact to much and might make things even better.

Baby Step 1: 1k emergency fund -You've done this!!
Baby Step 2: Pay off ALL non-mortgage debt -Sounds like you are working this off.
Baby Step 3: 3-6 months expenses in savings account -Not sure where you'll stand once you payoff debt.
Baby Steps 4: Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement -You should not be saving anything for retirement until you've completed the above.
Baby Step 5: Fund college (if you have kids)
Baby Step 6: Payoff Mortgage

Might get razzed for this but this is Dave Ramsey's method.

Best of luck to you! Keep grinding.
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Old 08-19-2019, 04:53 PM   #17
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Fireflower...Inspiring story but not sure I'm tracking. You say you need to go F/T in order to get cheaper health ins but your employer is matching 3%. Not sure I'm following on the employer piece here. Are they offering p/t employees 401-k with an employer match? If so, that's highly unusual. What sort of work do you do?
I'm in the housecleaning biz. I work for a small company--less than 10 employees. My employer offers a Simple IRA plan with up to 3% matching if you've grossed at least 5K with the company the year prior, so yes including p/t. I became eligible to enroll literally my last paycheck of 2018.

And yes, it's unusual and awesome! Housecleaning has a really high turnover rate and my employer tries hard to make it worth our while to stay.

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You mentioned you are handy with repairing cars. The avg auto tech in Seattle can make between 45-65k per year. Thoughts of going to trade school? You could add to your DH's 23 per year and end up with a potential 70-75k+ household income per year in less than 18 months.
I am thinking about trade school. This is new because we weren't sure how DH's job would work out. I've also done a lot of DIY plumbing repairs so I'm sure I could pick up plumbing easily too. Massage school is another...I've learned to do extensive boydwork on myself and others over many years and have practitioners urging me to get my license. So there are a few different possibilities, and I guess I'm in the process of trying to figure out how feasible it would all be, and the likelihood of landing a job after, and all that.

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Also, I'd move out of Seattle. Way to expensive for your combined income. Move to a LCOL and get an immediate 30% bump in your spending power.
We aren't within city limits...my job is in Seattle and it's an hour's commute from where we live. Our current rent is $320-$380/month depending on how much I work for our landlord, we pay $20/month for unlimited internet and less than $15/month for electricity with no other housing costs. I looked into moving to LCOL areas but the jobs all paid worse and the housing seemed to cost more than what we're currently paying.

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Not sure I am clear on "my kid" and SIL but at 10 years old a move shouldn't impact to much and might make things even better.
My 10 year old SIL does not live with us. She's extremely isolated, so us moving further away from her would decrease her social support drastically. Her situation is complex, I'm not willing to say much beyond us being actively involved in her life is quite literally lifesaving.
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Old 08-19-2019, 06:25 PM   #18
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Having kids has been our dream together for the past 4 years, and even longer before we met. It is something we have thought through extensively and have been waiting to be financially stable first.

We were being responsible by not having kids while living on the streets, we were being responsible by not having kids when we were living on just one part time income with no savings. Since we are now on two incomes with savings we feel we are approaching a time when we are able to seriously consider it and be able to support them.

Your suggestion to just not have kids due to circumstances is kinda surprising to me, considering I will live my life feeling incomplete without them.
Do you feel all disabled folks shouldn't have kids?
I'm pragmatic, puppies and rainbows mature and change w/time. We all have our problems, I'm spinal cord challenged as todays youth might term it and I did not have kids.
LUCKILY, ..for them!

Seems you're getting your act together if I read things right.
Why introduce a child or two to the equation?
For your own wellbeing no doubt as the bolded response you typed illustrates?
Sounds it to me. Your call.

I'd do not want to debate or argue.
JMHO

Good luck to you & Best wishes......
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Old 08-19-2019, 06:33 PM   #19
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Why introduce a child or two to the equation?
Because having kids is a lifelong dream. Why does anyone pursue their lifelong dreams?
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