ER Dream, the more you post, the more confident I am that you and your family are on solid ground, both personally and financially. Glad you have a solid plan to cut back on the weekends at work and give yourself more time to relax and enjoy your family and everything you've worked for.
The budget for the wife's extras is a smart idea. No adult likes to feel like they have to answer for every dollar they spend.
As long as you and your wife continue to discuss your spending and saving plans as your income increases and your situation changes a bit, I think you'll be well placed to enjoy FIRE sooner than you might expect..