Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-01-2011, 09:13 PM   #21
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyfishnevada View Post
Makes me think you are looking for something deeper than golf or fishing. Maybe you just mean something that makes you want to get out of bed or something that challenges you.
I don't know if it's because I'm not satisfied with what I've done thus far or just want to get the most out of life. I really don't think it's competition but DW is PhD, CPA, and a bunch of other stuff. Son has masters in Nuclear Engineering and now in med school. Daughter-in-law just finished vet school. Daughter just published first book. Like I said, I don't feel I'm competing but as much as just trying to get more out of life.

Thanks for the feedback!
__________________

__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-01-2011, 09:15 PM   #22
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
I would struggle with these kinds of things had I not children, and now a grandchild.
Our FIRST is due in August! That might change EVERYTHING!

Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
I really appreciate even small personal interactions
Ha
I love talking to strangers all the time... that's a trait I learned later in life and I do really enjoy those brief, friendly, personal interactions, too!
__________________

__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:16 PM   #23
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purron View Post
This is why those of us who don't have children often are drawn more strongly to pets.
I love pets, too, and have a long history of taking in critters in need.
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:18 PM   #24
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by GregLee View Post
I think you should work a few more decades to give yourself time to get over this purpose thing.
Uhhhhh, NO!
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:22 PM   #25
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Do you have any problem finding purpose on those weekend or vacation days when you are not at work?
I'm surprisingly good at doing nothing often but I also am bored quite often, despite all the things I've got going on. I'm sure that it's a transition and hopefully one I can make successfully.

Re: vacation, under the travel section, the story of our recent trip to Turks & Caicos is there... along with the part about us coming back EARLY!
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:24 PM   #26
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
Life is uncertain, that doesn't change just becase we "retire."
Amen to that!
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:25 PM   #27
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rustic23 View Post
Just me, but I did not have to retire to find my 'Real purpose in life'.

I am.

That pretty much sums up my purpose.
Oh wise Zen master....

I'm really bumping up my post count, aren't I!?!
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:27 PM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradMM View Post
I'm really bumping up my post count, aren't I!?!
Maybe that's your meaningful purpose.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:28 PM   #29
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,617
Quote:
Originally Posted by pimpmyretirement View Post
"What would you do all day if you could do whatever you wanted without having to worry about getting paid for it?"
I've made a few runs at trying to answer it for myself. The excitement of the initial pursuit is engaging and feels purposeful.
Maybe it's about the journey, not so much the destination.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
Until recently the injuries and sore back from my bike crash prevented me from exercising and playing piano. There was very little I could do. Some days I was going crazy from boredom.
When I was nursing my knees back to health a few years ago I went through a huge reading pile. These days I have a huge backlog of a reading pile.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BradMM View Post
I don't know if it's because I'm not satisfied with what I've done thus far or just want to get the most out of life. I really don't think it's competition but DW is PhD, CPA, and a bunch of other stuff. Son has masters in Nuclear Engineering and now in med school. Daughter-in-law just finished vet school. Daughter just published first book. Like I said, I don't feel I'm competing but as much as just trying to get more out of life.
Thanks for the feedback!
Dude, today is my ninth anniversary of ER and I just published my first book. It's not a race, not even against yourself.

Speaking for myself and the rest of the board's nuclear engineers, if nuclear engineering was worth the effort then he wouldn't be going to med school.

"Not all those who wander are lost."
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:37 PM   #30
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by 52andout View Post
I also have a killer garden and besides the beauty of my flowers I am able to share my produce with everyone. Sometimes the little things are enough.
I've spent my life gardening and, the past few years, vegetable gardening. I can really get cranked up talking about that but my interest seems to have waned.

Someone mentioned doing what you wanted to do when you were younger and I used to be a writer. I made friends with a guy who was the gardening section (whatever they called it) for the NY Times but he's in a totally different league than me. I used to teach horticulture at the college level but, after nine years, politics got in the way. I started trying to work with a group who was supposed to be creating community gardens but they seem to be so locked into "MUST DO IT THIS WAY" that others can't seem to participate. My focus is now on the healthful nature of the food and the positive effect healthful eating quality food, ala Linus Pauling, can have. I used to cook a lot more but...

I'm kind of leaning toward the whole interpersonal relationships angle because I do agree with the idea that, in the end, that's about all that truly matters in many ways.
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:40 PM   #31
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by kumquat View Post
Could it be that the purpose of your life was merely to serve as a warning to others?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA...... probably!
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:47 PM   #32
Recycles dryer sheets
BradMM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 79
Thanks for hearing me out and now you know much of what there is to know about me! I do think that, after reading these excellent posts and different perspectives, that it still boils down to FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. I don't want to waste the opportunity to try something new with my life and I feel pretty strongly that, if I had the chance to reflect on it in my death bed, I'd be extremely disappointed in myself for not having TRIED! As was said, it's often more the journey, not the destination, that's important, at least for me. I'm mostly ready for a new journey. Our finances and health care coverage are all in place for the rest of our lives, no obligations but to myself and DW so maybe I just need to take the LEAP OF FAITH and trust in myself to come out the other side in tact!

Thanks again to all!
__________________
BradMM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 09:53 PM   #33
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,117
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradMM View Post
I don't want to waste the opportunity to try something new with my life and I feel pretty strongly that, if I had the chance to reflect on it in my death bed, I'd be extremely disappointed in myself for not having TRIED!
Yep, you don't want to end up like Lilly Tomlin:
Quote:
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2011, 10:02 PM   #34
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 1,575
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradMM View Post
I don't have any hobbies that would fill the void and buying an RV and traveling all over wouldn't do it for me or DW. I have a small side business that I planned to work on developing in ER so that wouldn't be REAL retirement, more like changing jobs... but it's work that I would much prefer over current job.... I THINK. I hope!!!

I know that people who retire and haven't figured out how to deal with this issue struggle because their daily routine is no longer there to fill the void. I know some say "follow your passion" but I think that's a bit dramatic and a more reasonable approach would be to just find meaningful purpose.

What do you think
If you want your retirement to be successful, you don't retire from something - you retire to something better.

I've long since concluded that, for most people (including me), having a "bucket list" of many items is more realistic than waiting for a single, great, all singing, all dancing "life's purpose" to come along. In this day and age even us introverts have no excuse for not keeping physically and mentally active once we step away from the discipline of the w*rking world. The list of potentially meaningful things to do is endless.
__________________
Budgeting is a skill practised by people who are bad at politics.
traineeinvestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 05:40 AM   #35
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ...that depends...
Posts: 54
Very interesting all. In my case in three years I will retire from what has been my passion for three decades. I will be 56 then and am in excellent health. My problem is that I would do my job for ten more years if it were possible (it isn't due to mandatory retirement age) even though I will soon be working for free.
Thoughts of something which I could do for fairly big money after are not yet appealing. It needs to have the same drive and motivation as before. I have traveled and lived overseas for years so travel for travel's sake is not the answer. I don't like TV, golf, or fishing ( a little).

The Ernie Zelenski books are good by the way but I'm still searching...
__________________
It is the journey!
SpencerM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 07:17 AM   #36
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,896
I've said this before, but I think that it bears repeating. For me, and I suspect for many, the hardest part of deciding what I want to be when I grow up is shaking off others' expectations. Those expectations sit there silently and heavily. We may not even consciously acknowledge them. But inwardly we have been trained to ask ourselves what would Dad think? What will my boss, my coworkers, the neighbors think?

I found peace when I declared that I was retired, I worked for it and earned it and I will do what pleases me.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 08:19 AM   #37
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelover View Post
...what would Dad think? What will my boss, my coworkers, the neighbors think?
Actually, my father was an A-Hole (it's a long story), so it didn't matter.

As far as the others in my life? (e.g. "boss, my coworkers, the neighbors")

As a title of a book has stated - "What you think of me is none of my business"...

Life is great, assuming you start living it based upon your needs and expectations - not those of others...
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 09:50 AM   #38
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,896
Quote:
Originally Posted by rescueme View Post
Actually, my father was an A-Hole (it's a long story), so it didn't matter............
Yea, mine, too. I just threw that out there as I frequently see people trying to live up to their dad's expectations, real or imagined.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 09:55 AM   #39
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,117
Why am I suddenly overwhelmed by thoughts of falling acorns? j/k, I understand completely...
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 10:33 AM   #40
Full time employment: Posting here.
flyfishnevada's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Smith
Posts: 743
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
I found the Get-A-Life Tree exercise described in How To Retire Happy, Wild & Free by Zelinski and the concept from movie The Bucket List gave me tons (more than 50) of good ideas. I am just going to dive into all that, what doesn't pan out is fine, some of it will (or lead to other things). And Clyatt's book Work Less, Live More gave me lots of ideas too.
Same sources that kicked my imagination into gear, especially How To Retire Happy, Wild & Free by Zelinski. I didn't do a typical mind map, I built a list of things. I have tried some, haven't gotten to many of the things on the list.

It's actually easy to write 50, or more, items on a list. The harder part is motivating yourself to actually do them. I think that's where the real battle is. Whether you are inherently lazy (me) and need to get off your butt and do stuff or you're a workaholic and you need to force yourself to slow down and enjoy, it takes a little work.
__________________

__________________
Retired July 4th, 2010 at age 43
Trout Bum, Writer, Full-Time Dad and Husband


flyfishnevada is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can You Recommend an All-Purpose Cleaner nico08 Other topics 7 12-27-2010 11:11 PM
Retired - Finding a Purpose for your life Danny Life after FIRE 38 06-10-2008 01:18 PM
Looking to fine tune investments and the amount of meaningful work gryffindor Hi, I am... 4 04-06-2008 12:37 PM
Still Struggling A little With Purpose DeekerRock Hi, I am... 19 07-31-2007 01:36 PM
Has there been any meaningful music since the 70's??? Howard Other topics 28 01-06-2006 10:50 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:56 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.