Mixing Assets in Houston

[Texas Proud]

We got married for love and companionship. We've been together for 7n years. She's shown me a lot of love. Probably I've been obsessing too much on this money stuff and forget that, and see only the friction over this money crap. Yes we have quite different outlooks in life. Opposites attract, no?

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately since it will make me work harder at it, and I do think marriage is valuable, we don't have a prenup so I guess that means a 50 - 50 split in case things go south. It's too late to go back now, and I should have thought of it. I'd have to write some kind of big check since I have a larger kitty, but I'm determined to work this out, she sounds positive, and think we can. We do keep all the assets separate, and won't comingle since we have opposite styles of investing money, and each want to keep control of our own separate piles of money.


Thanks for the good luck.

Well, let's hope that divorce is not in the cards...

And yes, opposites attract... me and DW have a number of opposites and money is one of them.... she likes living the 'hear and now' and does not think long term where I have ALWAYS thought long term (had plans in place to have $1 mill by 55YO when I was younger than 18).... she travels all the time, and at times I go with her and the kids...

I think one of the things is how did she get this kind of thinking (both of our DWs)... mine lost her first husband to cancer in her late 30s... with two young kids.... maybe something in your DWs past can shed some light on your DWs thinking....


As far as splitting, it is not a lost cause, just harder... my DW had a friend who got divorced after 9 years... he had an accountant put together a reasonable showing of what was separate property.... he had almost all the assets when they got married... so, as long as you keep your assets separate, it is a lot easier to claim that it is yours...

 

[Milton]

I think my wife is a little selfish, spoiled, and scared ... sisters, in-laws, wife, friends, mother love my $200 K salary and the prestige of a job at a large oil company. They can all always find a reason for me to keep going to work, and can't hear the despair and hate for the work in my voice.

I respectfully suggest that you change your forum handle to "Hank Rearden".

 

[Grigori]

An Update from Houston

Thanks for your comments, and not beating around the bush.

I'm planning on early retirement at age 58 by the end on April, 2014. I'm going to get the bonus that megacorp pays about that time, and walk right out the door. The bonus should be some nice spending money for some trips or hobbies. Most of the w*rk is in the second half of the year, so they can have the w*rk, and I'll take the money.

Wife is on board now. She can see that we have enough. We'll be spending way under our means for a while until we get comfortable. But we like $1.50 movies, free concerts, and sitting on the beach so it will be great.

I keep thinking about that OMY comment some members have posted. More or less goes,

"You can get more money if you need to, but you can never get more life."

I'm ready to enjoy some of my money while I still have life and health to enjoy it!

My Cobra will get me through the first year and a half of Obamacare -anyone besides me think it might be sort of a rough start ? And then I can get some health insurance. Thank you Mr Obama ! You have freed some of us w*rkers.

If the company comes up with a buyout option, I'll report back. My department has totally reorganized, managers all left, and has a new director who doesn't know what we do. My work has been shrinking, and I have to come up with things on my own to justify my presence. I got a great performance review, but they may not need me.

 

[jclarksnakes]

Be sure and tell your DW that she has missed out on another 100K in easy equity growth since your last post on this thread in march if she still has all of her savings in cash. But once again, try not to sound as bitchy about it as I do.

 

[EllisWyatt]

Sounds like you and your DW have come to a meeting of the minds. That is a major hurdle to have overcome - congratulations!

As another member of the oil-field ("we've established what we are, now we're negotiating a price"), I'm looking forward to retiring next April as well. Kinda scary, but exciting at the same time. Nine more months to go!!!!

 

[Grigori]

Be sure and tell your DW that she has missed out on another 100K in easy equity growth since your last post on this thread in march if she still has all of her savings in cash.

I'm working with her gently on this – slowly buying stock mutual funds with some of her money. And I certainly do try not to be too bitchy.

Meanwhile, I've increased my own stock allocation from 50% to 60%.

 

[Grigori]

Sounds like you and your DW have come to a meeting of the minds. That is a major hurdle to have overcome - congratulations!

As another member of the oil-field ("we've established what we are, now we're negotiating a price"), I'm looking forward to retiring next April as well. Kinda scary, but exciting at the same time. Nine more months to go!!!!

Yes - it's nice to know that she'll be ready when I'm ready.

We've had quite a boom in the oilfield, compared to years of layoffs before. It's been a giant help in getting to early retirement to stay employed in my 50s, and have good raises and bonuses.

It is scary and exciting. Having all that j*b time freed up. I've had several unemployed periods, and I glimpsed a new me out there. But then I jumped back into work. We'll have to be positive and make it work; better to do it at a younger age when there's energy to start new things.

 

[EllisWyatt]

Isn't it ironic -after 35 years of layoffs/downsizings/rightsizings/ etc., just as we're ready for our exit, the industry finally takes off and technical people are a hot commodity. Would have been nice to have had that security during our careers...

 

[wingfooted]

Isn't it ironic -after 35 years of layoffs/downsizings/rightsizings/ etc., just as we're ready for our exit, the industry finally takes off and technical people are a hot commodity. Would have been nice to have had that security during our careers...

Ain't it the truth. It's a crazy biz and we all know the saying ' god please let there be one more boom and I promise I won't piss it away this time'.

At least three major boom bust cycles starting in 2004 and I don't know how many reorganizations, lets get lean and mean, oops we went too far and on and on it goes.

I don't know about you all but my plan is to ride this one to the max and then exit with my stash.

 

[Milton]

Be sure and tell your DW that she has missed out on another 100K in easy equity growth since your last post on this thread in march if she still has all of her savings in cash.

I'd go easy on that angle.

First, hindsight is 20/20.

Secondly, markets go down as well as go up, and the o/p doesn't need the aggravation of his wife throwing his words back at him the next time there's a downturn.

Finally, we are all entitled to make the financial decisions that seem to work best for us, and a thoughtful person should respect their spouse's right to be more financially conservative (or aggressive) than they are ... in my opinion, anyway.

 

[Grigori]

Isn't it ironic -after 35 years of layoffs/downsizings/rightsizings/ etc., just as we're ready for our exit, the industry finally takes off and technical people are a hot commodity. Would have been nice to have had that security during our careers...

Fortunately, you and I both learned to live below our means and to take advantage of those fleeting good times to stock pile more savings.

It only took me until age 38 to see that ER was possible.

Before that, I never saved a dime. Luckily, I was able to cut back on my expenses, pocket every bonus and raise, remember that every boom time would turn into a bust, and I never sold my stocks at the bottom of the market. Wish I had started at age 22.

 

[Grigori]

I'd go easy on that angle.

First, hindsight is 20/20.

Secondly, markets go down as well as go up, and the o/p doesn't need the aggravation of his wife throwing his words back at him the next time there's a downturn.

Finally, we are all entitled to make the financial decisions that seem to work best for us, and a thoughtful person should respect their spouse's right to be more financially conservative (or aggressive) than they are ... in my opinion, anyway.

I've had to bite my tongue a number of times after I criticized her investing strategy. Getting bitchy never gets me anywhere with her.

Even though I am positive I am right that we should have had more of "her" money in stocks since 2009 , she may turn out to be right in the future, and I'll be happy that our overall stock allocation is only 35% to 40%. I'd rather not have a big stock market loss I couldn't recover from, and have to go back to full time W*RK !

She has to sleep at night, it's her money, and "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

 

[Milton]

I've had to bite my tongue a number of times after I criticized her investing strategy. Getting bitchy never gets me anywhere with her.... She has to sleep at night, it's her money, and "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Right on, brother.

 

[jclarksnakes]

I'd go easy on that angle.

First, hindsight is 20/20.

Secondly, markets go down as well as go up, and the o/p doesn't need the aggravation of his wife throwing his words back at him the next time there's a downturn.

Finally, we are all entitled to make the financial decisions that seem to work best for us, and a thoughtful person should respect their spouse's right to be more financially conservative (or aggressive) than they are ... in my opinion, anyway.

You are right but people who think 100% cash is risk free need to understand that it isn't. Inflation is eroding the value of that million she has in cash.

 

[haha]

You are right but people who think 100% cash is risk free need to understand that it isn't. Inflation is eroding the value of that million she has in cash.

True, but damn little at present.

Ha

 

[jclarksnakes]

True, but damn little at present.

Ha

Yes but a full decade of these low rates have still taken a big bite out of the buying power of her million in cash.

 

[Grigori]

Yes but a full decade of these low rates have still taken a big bite out of the buying power of her million in cash.

Yes, inflation will take a bite, and her money will buy a lot less ten years down the line.

If she and I spend some of our cash first in retirement, the stock allocation will rise by itself over time.

I'm fortunate that she's very frugal, lives below her means, and shops carefully. And she paid for the townhouse out of her funds. Pretty good ER partner in most ways. That will help stretch the money.

Once I'm retired, I'll have more time to do it yourself more, and shop for the best deals.