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New Househusband
Old 09-30-2008, 09:12 PM   #1
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New Househusband

Hello,
After the first of the year, I plan to take disability due to Parkinson's. I had a very successful 29 year career with the same company. The growing demands and stress do not mix with my physical condition. My wife is still very much engaged in her career so I am trying to get my brain around the fact that she will be the primary breadwinner and I will be at home. We are both in our mid 50's. I would appreciate feed back from those with a similar experience.
Peace,
David
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:18 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by davidr04 View Post
Hello,
After the first of the year, I plan to take disability due to Parkinson's. I had a very successful 29 year career with the same company. The growing demands and stress do not mix with my physical condition. My wife is still very much engaged in her career so I am trying to get my brain around the fact that she will be the primary breadwinner and I will be at home. We are both in our mid 50's. I would appreciate feed back from those with a similar experience.
Peace,
David
David, I don't know anything about this type of arrangement, but there are several men on the board who are living this way. I am sure some of them will chime in.

Welcome to the board. I am sorry about your condition and wish you well going forward.

Ha
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:20 PM   #3
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David, welcome to the forum. Yes, there are several "kept men" around here and I'm sure they will be along shortly to brag.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:26 PM   #4
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ME!

(By the way REW, I think you've been spewing self serving drivel a little further back than 2002).

I started off as a single early retiree almost 8 years ago, got married a few years later to a working woman, and we've since grown a 3.5 year old.

What questions do you have?

As an aside, I would caution against some of the "stay at home dad" forums. I visited a few a couple of years ago and they're mostly populated by fairly unhappy sounding people.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:02 AM   #5
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ME TOO!

I retired three and a half years ago and DW kept working -- she will probably retire next year. She is four years younger so our work years balance. When I retired we were FI so she could have retired but chose not to (not that I argued).

As to being a house hubby, I was always the cook so nothing changed there. But DW hates the Metro so I give her a ride to work - it is no big deal since I live in town and she generally doesn't go in more than three days a week. All in all it has worked out great.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:43 AM   #6
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welcome to the board.
your post title made me - househusbands are the best of all worlds. you will not be bored!
i'm the lady household engineer so i can't kick in on househusband comments.
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:28 AM   #7
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Hey, you sound like me. I didn't find becoming a HH as easy as one might think. I took a buyout and DW still worked. We have been like this for three years. We are and have been FI but the DW wouldn't know what to do if she didn't work. Self proclaimed Type A personality. Her work is hell and I hear and listen to it everyday. I have adjusted well to everything except when she comes home upset. Yes I can listen with empathy and all that, but ...

We can't go anywhere because of her work, no vacation for her because she will be too far behind, only takes off Fridays. We have built up 7 figures in investments, we live on a portion of her income. We always kept our finances separate as second marriage people often do. I would have to tap savings now for my own money but I keep things to a minimum so she will feel better in this market downturn.

Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.

Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
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Old 10-01-2008, 09:48 AM   #8
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Hey, you sound like me. I didn't find becoming a HH as easy as one might think. I took a buyout and DW still worked. We have been like this for three years. We are and have been FI but the DW wouldn't know what to do if she didn't work. Self proclaimed Type A personality. Her work is hell and I hear and listen to it everyday. I have adjusted well to everything except when she comes home upset. Yes I can listen with empathy and all that, but ...

We can't go anywhere because of her work, no vacation for her because she will be too far behind, only takes off Fridays. We have built up 7 figures in investments, we live on a portion of her income. We always kept our finances separate as second marriage people often do. I would have to tap savings now for my own money but I keep things to a minimum so she will feel better in this market downturn.

Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.

Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
cashbalancetrouble, thanks for what sounds like a very from the heart post.

I wonder if you see a solution to your unhappiness. Do you think things will get better when your wife retires and you can enjoy retirement together?

Coach
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:54 PM   #9
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Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.

Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
You need to do something about your situation. Get a job, get some interests, get into therapy. Seriously - you sound like your are in or heading for depression. You need to address it or it will eat you up.
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:04 PM   #10
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Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.

Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
Been there, done that. That's part of why I got a job. I found it's a LOT different wearing a KMA hat and working is entirely voluntary. And the extra $3k/month in pure "play money" is nice.

About half the staff there is retired law enforcement so they all have the same eagerness to tell the boss off and quit if she does something stupid. As one put it "I'm here 'til I'm not."
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Old 10-02-2008, 04:52 PM   #11
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Dro4 - Don't despair you will be fine and so will I. My wife will retire not later than 01-02-10, sooner if they buy her out in a corp RIF. That may happen with the economeeee! Her work is hell and she is the one with the depression problem and a real peice of work boss. The we will work on more things than just our garden and flower beds. We enjoyed the outter banks and hope to go back to Duck and have the bisque at Elizabeths and drink wine and smell the ocean breezes.

Better already!
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