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09-30-2008, 08:12 PM
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#1
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Confused about dryer sheets
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7
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New Househusband
Hello,
After the first of the year, I plan to take disability due to Parkinson's. I had a very successful 29 year career with the same company. The growing demands and stress do not mix with my physical condition. My wife is still very much engaged in her career so I am trying to get my brain around the fact that she will be the primary breadwinner and I will be at home. We are both in our mid 50's. I would appreciate feed back from those with a similar experience.
Peace,
David
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09-30-2008, 08:18 PM
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#2
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidr04
Hello,
After the first of the year, I plan to take disability due to Parkinson's. I had a very successful 29 year career with the same company. The growing demands and stress do not mix with my physical condition. My wife is still very much engaged in her career so I am trying to get my brain around the fact that she will be the primary breadwinner and I will be at home. We are both in our mid 50's. I would appreciate feed back from those with a similar experience.
Peace,
David
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David, I don't know anything about this type of arrangement, but there are several men on the board who are living this way. I am sure some of them will chime in.
Welcome to the board. I am sorry about your condition and wish you well going forward.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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09-30-2008, 08:20 PM
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#3
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas: No Country for Old Men
Posts: 50,004
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David, welcome to the forum. Yes, there are several "kept men" around here and I'm sure they will be along shortly to brag.
__________________
Numbers is hard
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09-30-2008, 08:26 PM
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#4
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Losing my whump
Posts: 22,708
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ME!
(By the way REW, I think you've been spewing self serving drivel a little further back than 2002).
I started off as a single early retiree almost 8 years ago, got married a few years later to a working woman, and we've since grown a 3.5 year old.
What questions do you have?
As an aside, I would caution against some of the "stay at home dad" forums. I visited a few a couple of years ago and they're mostly populated by fairly unhappy sounding people.
__________________
Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
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10-01-2008, 05:02 AM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 11,318
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ME TOO!
I retired three and a half years ago and DW kept working -- she will probably retire next year. She is four years younger so our work years balance. When I retired we were FI so she could have retired but chose not to (not that I argued).
As to being a house hubby, I was always the cook so nothing changed there. But DW hates the Metro so I give her a ride to work - it is no big deal since I live in town and she generally doesn't go in more than three days a week. All in all it has worked out great.
__________________
Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre -- Albert Camus
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10-01-2008, 05:43 AM
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#6
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,037
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welcome to the board.
your post title made me - househusbands are the best of all worlds. you will not be bored!
i'm the lady household engineer so i can't kick in on househusband comments.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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10-01-2008, 06:28 AM
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#7
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 162
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Hey, you sound like me. I didn't find becoming a HH as easy as one might think. I took a buyout and DW still worked. We have been like this for three years. We are and have been FI but the DW wouldn't know what to do if she didn't work. Self proclaimed Type A personality. Her work is hell and I hear and listen to it everyday. I have adjusted well to everything except when she comes home upset. Yes I can listen with empathy and all that, but ...
We can't go anywhere because of her work, no vacation for her because she will be too far behind, only takes off Fridays. We have built up 7 figures in investments, we live on a portion of her income. We always kept our finances separate as second marriage people often do. I would have to tap savings now for my own money but I keep things to a minimum so she will feel better in this market downturn.
Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.
Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
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10-01-2008, 08:48 AM
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#8
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 1,127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashbalancetrouble
Hey, you sound like me. I didn't find becoming a HH as easy as one might think. I took a buyout and DW still worked. We have been like this for three years. We are and have been FI but the DW wouldn't know what to do if she didn't work. Self proclaimed Type A personality. Her work is hell and I hear and listen to it everyday. I have adjusted well to everything except when she comes home upset. Yes I can listen with empathy and all that, but ...
We can't go anywhere because of her work, no vacation for her because she will be too far behind, only takes off Fridays. We have built up 7 figures in investments, we live on a portion of her income. We always kept our finances separate as second marriage people often do. I would have to tap savings now for my own money but I keep things to a minimum so she will feel better in this market downturn.
Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.
Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
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cashbalancetrouble, thanks for what sounds like a very from the heart post.
I wonder if you see a solution to your unhappiness. Do you think things will get better when your wife retires and you can enjoy retirement together?
Coach
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10-01-2008, 02:54 PM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 11,318
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashbalancetrouble
Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.
Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
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You need to do something about your situation. Get a job, get some interests, get into therapy. Seriously - you sound like your are in or heading for depression. You need to address it or it will eat you up.
__________________
Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre -- Albert Camus
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10-01-2008, 06:04 PM
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#10
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashbalancetrouble
Somedays I sit around when not golfing ect and think I am just waiting to die. I volunteered some and helped as care taker for sick parents. I helped friends with house repairs etc and do all that around home including extensive remodeling.
Just being busy somedays is not enough. Best of Luck.
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Been there, done that. That's part of why I got a job. I found it's a LOT different wearing a KMA hat and working is entirely voluntary. And the extra $3k/month in pure "play money" is nice.
About half the staff there is retired law enforcement so they all have the same eagerness to tell the boss off and quit if she does something stupid. As one put it "I'm here 'til I'm not."
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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10-02-2008, 03:52 PM
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#11
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 162
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Dro4 - Don't despair you will be fine and so will I. My wife will retire not later than 01-02-10, sooner if they buy her out in a corp RIF. That may happen with the economeeee! Her work is hell and she is the one with the depression problem and a real peice of work boss. The we will work on more things than just our garden and flower beds. We enjoyed the outter banks and hope to go back to Duck and have the bisque at Elizabeths and drink wine and smell the ocean breezes.
Better already!
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