New Member "Forced to Sell"

[AnnMarie]

I guess I don't fully understand. Are you saying the will has to specify land specifically, separate than other assets? I will have to read the will again, but I don't think it specified any one particular thing. Just that everything was to be divided equally among the children.

I'll read it again and get back with you, but you are correct in the fact I do need a lawyer and unfortunately I don't think I can use the one I'm dealing with now in settling my father's estate.

In my father's case he willed all his assets to be divided equally among his 3 children and the only difference (I think, sorry) is that one of the sons gets the first option to buy. In this case we are working hard, and taking a financial loss, in order to help this brother purchase the property.

I really appreciate everything. Thanks

AnnMarie

[Texas Proud]

Again.... I am not an attorney and your state can be different than mine....

Most of what I know... is that most wills say "I leave X to Sam, Y to Jane etc..."... and the REMAINDER of my estate to be equally divided between all my children (or something like that)....

The problem is how does your state define remainder.... I think in Texas, the executor has FULL CONTROL to do as he wishes with the assets including selling everything... because the will does not say to distribute my land to the children, but the remainder... and the remainder can be cash after the sale....

Now, some might require the real estate to be distributed in whole, but that is a question for your lawyer... but I bet that the language might not be in your favor.... but a threat of a lawsuit can usually get others in line with what you want.. as long as YOU are willing to cough up the money for the fight....

But I would make a big stink that I want the LAND... and it will be subdivided and I will get my 26+ acres.... and you can do as you wish with the other land... then draw a big box around your house and say here is what I want... but, be fair about it also...

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud But I would make a big stink that I want the LAND... and it will be subdivided and I will get my 26+ acres.... and you can do as you wish with the other land... then draw a big box around your house and say here is what I want... but, be fair about it also...

You likely don't want to risk a divorce over this. But if you can handle your husband, I would pay zero attention to any advice here that says "It is their land too, and they can whatever they want, blah blah.

This is no time for guessing what is do-able, or honorable or whatever. Everything looks different depending on where you are looking from.

Like TX Proud says, at this point, what counts is that you consult with a quality, agressive RE lawyer who has no conflicts of interest. People might be tough until you shove back on them, then sometimes not so tough after all.

Ha

[AnnMarie]

Texas Proud,

I really appreciate you trying to help me and offering your thoughts and feedback. I especially appreciate being able to get my feelings and thoughts out there. Have I driven you crazy with trying to figure all this mess out? I am now second guessing the exact wording of the will but will get it and read it again. I know I've probably gotten you curious now as well and will let you know what it says.

You may have a point about it needing to be worded a certain way to protect the land from being sold because I do know of one family that auctioned theirs off many years ago. They had some of the best river front property and farm land around but rumors were that one brother wanted to sell and the other didn't. I honestly don't know YET how it works.

I am going to investigate our laws further and find a lawyer from another part of Alabama as it seems here everyone is related, knows each other or has some kind of connection. Actually one of my nephews is a lawyer here so I'm sure he's "helping out" his mom. One of the sister's husband was a County Commision Chairman and has way too many contacts. I want an unbias assesment of where I stand from an unbiased lawyer.

You would think my nephews would want to build out here and press the issue to keep it and make it their home, but instead they have bought high priced smaller homes in our newest golf community subdivision and paid more for the tiny lot than they did for their house. I guess it's a prestige thing. We made a 4-wheeler/golf cart path thru our woods behind the house that ends up on the 6th hole of this same golf course. So it isn't like they wanted to live across town, lol. I don't get it.

I do know that my mother in law believed we would divide the land up equally as she use to talk to my daughter about her living here all grown up and married, children of her own. I also know she thought my niece would one day have her home. But as you've said, if the will wasn't worded correctly I may very well be in a bind. Also, when my father in law died and my mother in law had her will updated, it was the oldest sister that offered to take her to do it. Hind site........... She was an account executive for NASA and I'm sure she knew what she was doing. Hopefully not, but probably. My husband says we should have had mother deed ours to us before she died so therefore we just have to live with it. I am at loss with his attitude about all of this. As to what his kids would like or think, he could care less.

I've been such an idiot all these years thinking family was everything and looked out for one another, but I learned very quickly after her death most are out for themselves and everyone else be damned. (Can I say that here?) I guess that's why that sister has been married 4 times and has the big bucks, lol.

I honestly thought I had more time (big mistake waiting and hoping nothing would happen) because of the Interstate Exchange and it increasing the value of the property. I figured she would want to hold out for more money. She wouldn't even consider an earlier offer that was $5,000 less an acre. Why sell now when you could get more later. Why sell now when the market is so soft? And I do know we are the only ones that need the money. The only ones with kids still in college, etc.
All the others are set. I hate it, but I do feel like they don't like the fact we are here even though they've chosen not to be.

Even if there were no family ties to the land, there is still the fact that we have the perfect situation here and there is no way we could find anything anywhere else to equal it. We are annexed into the city limits, close enough to town and only 20 minutes from Huntsville, yet we have a country atmosphere. Granted on the west side (my front yard) I can hear and at certain points see the Interstate. What once was a road for the casual passerby is now a major traffic area for NASA and TVA employees.
But on the east side I can lay at night and listen to the coyotes. We have the woods, creek, beautiful fields, and all kinds of wild life. You can be stressed, get on an atv and go for a ride and all is good or you can drive 20 minutes and take in the theatre and a great dinner. The best of both worlds. There is no way we could replace what we have here and the convenience - unless we spent all the money we made from selling what we have now.

My husband says we could take the money and go to Tennessee and buy even more land. I've told him I am alone most of the time now and I sure don't want to go somewhere to live where I'm even more alone, and further away from everything. Another story for another time, lol.

I did notice you stressing the point of not signing anything and to keep the land. You seem to understand the importance of keeping it and I imagine for many reasons. I do hate the one guy said I was hard core. If anything I've been the opposite until now but I guess my remark about leaving sounded rather callous but there is much more to the story. And all I want is what is fair and right. Nothing more and certainly nothing less. It seems as time goes by our rights and what we can do with what belongs to us is always in someone else's hands.

I'll get back with you on the wording of the will. Again, thanks for listening and for your suggestions

AnnMarie

[AnnMarie]

HaHa, I just love that user name, lol.

Yeah, the remarks about it being their land too bothered me somewhat because I never said or felt otherwise. Just that I wanted to keep our part and they could do what they want with theirs. But no matter how we approach it it's like they think we are getting a better deal. So, as you can see, it's hard to feel they care about being fair. I said I would love to win the lottery and buy it all myself. Know any tricks to winning the lottery? lol.

I also appreciate your words of wisdom and the comments of all the others. I will be seeking out a lawyer the first of the week. As far as my husband goes, in all honesty, the issue with the land is just the tip of the iceberg. The straw that broke the camel's back, etc., if you get my drift.

Thanks
AnnMarie

[Texas Proud]

Heck... you need to get some sleep... .but then again, so do I...

I am just reading what you write... YOU seem to want the land, that is why I write what I write.... if you were on the other side... I would write something to you about 'give them their piece and sell the rest and be done with it'...

One thing... and this is very critical as it is becoming a family dispute...

You better be ready to fade into the woodwork.... the will leaves the 'assets' to your husband, not YOU (unless he actually put your name in her will).... so you have no standing in this dispute... you can try and make your husband do as you wish, but it is HIS to decide... and as I said, it is more likely than not that it would be separate property if you divorced, so you don't even have any ownership in the land IF you get it.... so if you are the one pushing for the land and your husband is not, then you are causing the problems, not the rest of the family....


As for the lawyer... from what you said, one of the other kids is on 'your' side and wants their piece of the land.... your husband and his sibling need to get together and have a united front... both of them go into the lawyer deal together... then it is 2/3 to 1/3 instead of only 1/6 being the problem... and one of the other kids might sway and come over to your side.....


Good luck in this.... but money for some trump family... I don't know why but it does... and unfortunately some families break up even without money issues... because of other things.... sad to hear but it happens more often than not...

[chinaco]

AnnMarie,

I can understand your displeasure and disappointment about the situation.

My advice, do not push it or your husband... and encourage your husband not to get in a battle with his siblings over this issue.

This sounds like a matter of different people having different priorities, it is not about greed or lack of family honor. If you insinuate that as the motivation, you are probably wrong and anyone would take offense to it.

The part the your are not seeing (or accepting responsibility for) is that you and your DH took a bit of a risk when you decided to build at that location. (If maintaining the land that you did not own was your hope or desire).

Put yourself in the shoes of the other siblings. Why should they hold on to land when it does nothing but cost them taxes and insurance? If they are not farmers... it probably does not make sense.

I think you said $5M/6 is about $800k. It sounds like you will still have your home and 2 acres plus a fair amount of cash out of the deal. Look on the positive side, there is an inheritance for your DH's parents that gives you some flexibility.

Life is too short to have bad blood over it. I think you have reason to celebrate.

[MooreBonds]

Quote:

You would think my nephews would want to build out here and press the issue to keep it and make it their home, but instead they have bought high priced smaller homes in our newest golf community subdivision and paid more for the tiny lot than they did for their house. I guess it's a prestige thing. We made a 4-wheeler/golf cart path thru our woods behind the house that ends up on the 6th hole of this same golf course. So it isn't like they wanted to live across town, lol. I don't get it.

Hello AnnMarie - I'm sorry that your joining the forum coincided with such a tumultuous situation!

I know that a few people are saying some things that might rub you the wrong way. Just realize that the people on this forum - in addition to having crazy senses of humor - are also highly intelligent, rational people that wouldn't have been able to retire early if they weren't able to step back from situations and see things clearly and not be influenced by corporate marketing (and of course, a decent job doesn't hurt either....)

One note about your above comment - yes, I agree with you that some people are silly when it comes to Jonesism and living the opulent life of luxury that many on this board wouldn't ever be enticed by...but remember: everyone in the world has different priorities, different enjoyments, different pursuits. While I agree with you about not enjoying the life your one in-law is living on the golf course, at the same time I'd NEVER consider living on a huge farm of 160 acres (upkeep/taxes/insurance, being too isolated, would rather travel around and experience the world with the money, etc.). But that doesn't mean that I think you're crazy for wanting to live where you're at.

My point is - remember that although I sometimes go crazy inside when I see my sibling do something stupid or hear my grandmother make some comment about her possessions that makes me pity her values, they have decided what they want to make as priorities in their life. It doesn't make them wrong, or stupid, or less of a person (they might one day "see the light" and value other things differently, however).

So, to echo what TexasProud and a few others have said - remember that your in-laws are just as entitled to the estate/land as your husband is, and that they are free to do with it as they wish. That's part of the beauty of this wonderful country we live in. Sometimes it doesn't always go the way we personally want it, but any other way would likely be less fair.


Now, please don't feel like I'm trying to attack you or add more fuel to the fire, and please don't read my post with an smart-assed/argumentative voice or anything other than a calm, cool, pleasant Fred Rodgers voice ....but I had a few observations from this thread:

(bold added by me)

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My children and I have always thought one day the land would be sub-divided between my husband and his siblings and we'd live here with them building here also. However, his siblings have decided they can make more money selling the land as a whole and refuse to sub-divide which will leave us and one other sibling having our land taken away and us having to live on our 2 acres among a future housing development. Granted the sell of the land would be a lot of money, but I'd rather have my land for my children to build on one day. Of course the ones wanting to sell have never wanted to live on this land and don't. Is there anything we can do? Are we just at their mercy and have to sell?

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Believe me if their was any way to buy them out I would. Don't have that kind of money and it is worth quite a bit. I keep hoping I win the lottery and can do just that, lol, but we got an offer this week and I am really upset that soon when I look out my back door I will be watching houses come up on top of me instead of seeing the beautiful green wheat field and small forest my children and I have lived with all these years. It's heart breaking to my children.

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I'll read it again and get back with you, but you are correct in the fact I do need a lawyer and unfortunately I don't think I can use the one I'm dealing with now in settling my father's estate.

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I do have a clear deed to my 2 acres although that may be an issue as well.

I fully realize that sometimes married people use the singular pronoun when they fully intend to reference their spouse as well..but I get the feeling that there is a little too much "I/me/my" in this marriage and this situation, and the times you use "we/my husband/our", it's mainly for your benefit (as in "our land taken away from us", where "our land" refers not to the deeded land under your house, but the land your husband is receiving in the will). I realize there are many details about your marriage that we're not privy to - and perhaps I'm misreading the post - but when I look at other posts by married people and how they talk about their spouse/family, the above seemed to stand out as I read through the posts.

Also, you start off saying what "my children and I" always thought, but didn't say "my husband and I and my children" or "my family". Perhaps it was intentional, perhaps it was subliminal, perhaps your husband has always clearly said it as well. Either way, you might want to reflect on how you speak of both yourself and your family (including your husband), because your choice of which pronoun to use where seems to indicate a pattern that might be creating some friction elsewhere.

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I do know that my mother in law believed we would divide the land up equally as she use to talk to my daughter about her living here all grown up and married, children of her own.

Just consider one thing: say that the other 5 DID want to keep the property and divide it up. Then how would they divide it? You mentioned that some ground is 'less desirable', and that 'you' were willing to take the 'less desirable' ground in order to keep them from selling...then how would you suggest 3 siblings solve the dilemma of "well, your 10 acre tract is more desirable than this 10 acre tract, etc., etc.". When you have 6 people splitting up an estate, odds are it will never be easy or clean or pleasant. (there are actual mathematical proofs on how to guarantee envy-free estate division: see this Wikipedia entry (Envy-free - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) , with a reference to the book that the mathematicians published)

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I say wait until it's built and the land will be worth even more. I guess I'm just trying to delay the inevitable. The thing too is these siblings do not need the money. They are well off and doing fine financially. ... Shoot, my family needs the money more so than anyone, yet I don't want to sell.

If you really don't want them to sell, then why would you suggest they wait until the interstate is built so they can get more money? Say they did decide to wait - like you said - and sold in 5 years? Would you be happy? If not, then why suggest it? And as for "these siblings do not need the money" - perhaps they are the sick types that simply like controlling people and getting their way. Or perhaps they want to buy a Ferarri with the cash. Either way, they are free to do with the land (or the cash) as they wish. There are many people on this forum that have more money that I probably will ever have - do I say to them "Hey, give ol MooreBonds some of that green you have, you don't need it!" Hell no! (because I know them too well ). And it would behoove you to continue with the mindset of "anyone with more than what I have doesn't really need it" - because none of us truly need anything that we have (just consider how 80% of the world's population lives). Are you truly certain you know of their financial condition? Maybe you do, or maybe you just suppose based on their spending habits? (you'd be surprised how many people live the life of luxury and have nearly no financial assets to speak of).

Quote:

Unfortunately, I have been dealing with trying to settle my father's estate. It is only a home and few acres and my siblings and I have worked well together. ... In my father's case he willed all his assets to be divided equally among his 3 children and the only difference (I think, sorry) is that one of the sons gets the first option to buy. In this case we are working hard, and taking a financial loss, in order to help this brother purchase the property.

Has your husband been as involved in dealing with your father's estate as you have in his mother's estate? If your husband said that he wanted you to simply take the cash from your father's estate so the two of you (or "he") could travel or build an additional house, what would your attitude be? Did your husband have any input on 'taking a financial loss' in order to help your brother?

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It's ironic now when I think of when we were first married, or I was first pregnant, no deed to the land, no life insurance and he'd tell me "not a problem".

You didn't mention if you and your husband ever paid your in-laws for the 2 acres. From what you said above, it almost sounds like you and your spouse built on the land for free (I'm assuming that the documents and surveying would have been performed correctly if money changed hands). Did you get it for free, or pay a reasonable price for it?

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And all I want is what is fair and right. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.

Again, there are (at least) 6 opinions of what is "fair and right". Going back to the "what if they all kept the land" bit - what if everyone built a home somewhere on the homestead? What if 3 siblings wanted to farm corn, while 3 wanted to raise cattle and turn it into pasture or wanted to sublease it out? Who spends the money to put up a fence? Who decides what land is planted with what crop (if the plots don't line up)? Who decides who has to give up land to build a well for irrigation? What if 3 of your nieces/nephews wanted to build houses that somehow impacted the view or the peace and tranquility?

There are a host of 'other' problems that could easily come up if "your" dream is realized of not selling. How would you handle these problems then? Imagine if you had all of this land around you, but you weren't able to appreciate it because your in-laws had wild parties or played the radio loud or _______ (pick anything).

Like your husband said, perhaps taking the money from the sale and buying somewhere else could be the best thing that ever happened? (and how do you know that what is available is more 'isolated' and worse off without even looking around?) Imagine having your family's own 30 acre spread where you can do whatever.

[MooreBonds]

Quote:

I can't discuss it right now with my husband or we fight about it. I can't discuss it with my sister in law that wants to keep hers too or I get mad and it ruins my day.

The very fact that you can't even discuss this situation with your husband or potential strategies and updates with apparently your single ally in this situation speaks a lot towards the fact that there are likely many, many issues all coming to a head at this point in time, and are all trying to express themselves in the estate/land issue. Try to analyze what exactly turns the discussion with your spouse into a fight...does he simply not want to hear anything at all about it? Or do you start to talk about it, then one side says something that stirs up the other side? Do you try to keep your options open to alternative solutions to this situation (and I don't mean "subdivide up the land" as an alternative solution), or does your conversation go along the lines of "Honey, you have to stand up for me and the kids! This is what we want! Don't you care about that?", which causes him to explode or yell or something (If it's along the line of that, you need to seriously rethink your strategy and approach, and be less demanding and domineering). Or perhaps your husband is effected by other things?

Try to spend some time alone sorting through all of the various emotions that have built up and are unresolved. Try to take an inventory of 'what I don't like about my life and marriage', and see what the root causes are, and what your ideal solutions would be. Then try to have a talk with your husband and bring these various issues to the table. Perhaps he is in a similar situation and doesn't like the way certain things are going or handled?

Imagine where you have 3-4 siblings on one side (all wanting A), and your wife on the other (wanting B). And they are both pushing and pulling and each want it as badly as the other side. Perhaps the more stress and emotions he encounters from either side, the more he is pushed into his shell and is pushed to act in a way that he may not truly want to, or might regret later?

When you mentioned that "even if there was no emotional attachment to the land, I'd want to live there" - it appears that you're truly after beautiful scenery. If you really like the place just for the view, then why wouldn't you want to at least consider someplace else? First, you mentioned you are trying to block any sale. Then, you say that you want to fight to keep at least your parcel. Would you really be happy with just a parcel of 20+ acres, surrounded by subdivisions (especially if it were the 'lesser property')? What about just 2 acres? Given what you said you like about the current property, I highly doubt it. Surely there would be alternative areas that would give you the views/options/scenery without any hassle from in-laws. Or, is it more of a power issue where you simply want your husband to fight for what it is you want? (I say this not to be insulting, but because it seems you don't seem to indicate a truly strong desire that is consistent in your posts - you go from fighting any sale, to fighting having to sell your husband's share of the estate. Then ask why the in-laws don't want to hold the property and wait for the values to go up before selling a few years down the road. Then say that even if there were no in-laws, you'd want to own a property with views/a location like this. Then say that you would fight to keep just the 2 acres if it required you to fight...if that's the case, then why not support your husband selling and both of you saying "sionara" to the in-laws and moving so you never have to see the in-laws again? You did mention that a lot of people in the small town know one another, and many of them are friends with the in-laws, and that you don't seem to want to be around them...so why not get away from it all?)

By completely shutting out the option of moving and telling your husband "You go to battle with your family and you do exactly as I say and exactly as I want, or else", it undoubtedly puts him in a very difficult position. Even though I don't always get along with my family - and they have a wide range of good and bad traits - they are still family, and I would try to respect both them AND my wife if a similar situation came up. The problem is, both sides appear to only want one thing, and neither is willing to entertain any alternative (at least, that's what you seem to imply about them).

I hope you haven't taken any of the above as attacks - I'm merely trying to honestly help and to take some of the many emotions out of this situation so you can consider some things that you may not have considered before, and to make some observations that were only intended to try and help diffuse and heal a very vulnerable, delicate and volatile situation.

[Texas Proud]

MooreBonds...


Good posts.... I was skirting the emotional part except the few times I tried to say it was not HER land she was talking about... you did a much better job. And I did say she should stay of of the fray as it is NOT her land and was not willed to her.


I do like the site you had on 'fair' distribution... I have a different take on it. I will be the executor of my mothers estate when she dies (which I hope is a long time from now).. She does not have much, but does have 6 kids... and all my sisters have said they want 'X' or 'Y'.... so I have told my mom and all them that I plan on having an auction... They can buy anything they wish, and it they wish it more than the other sister then they will pay more for it.... the cash goes into the estate and is then distributed...

As for the land... that is why I said draw a box around her house that is 'fair'... and let the rest go to the other children and let them sell... done...


But I can see that she will hold a grudge if this happens... but as you have pointed out, if she does not change it will be a lose, lose situation... she does not seem to want to compromise... (sorry, my reading of your posts)...

[virginia]

AnnMarie - Possibly you and your husband could talk to the siblings and ask that a requirement of the sale would be that a certain amount of land would be sold back to you and your husband after the sale? You could probably get a fair amount of that property for that 800K that you would realize in the sale?

[MooreBonds]

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Originally Posted by Texas Proud And I did say she should stay of of the fray as it is NOT her land and was not willed to her.

Well - I would have to respectfully somewhat disagree with that. As AnnMarie hinted at, there are many details and is much history to their marriage that we are not entitled to know about, and which appear to be having a significant impact to this situation.

And, while her husband is the heir to the property, a truly good, respectful marriage would never have one spouse completely ignoring the other spouse/kids when considering inheritances and their impacts (while not the SAME thing, an inheiritance is a LITTLE like one spouse landing a high-paying job or large bonus and deciding how to allocate the money. It's not right for a huge high-paying spouse to have absolutely no say in the cash flow distribution, but it's also not right for each spouse to be completely in control of their own wages and to keep as much to themselves as they want, regardless of the needs of a spouse or kids, etc.. IMO, the same should be with inheritances, to SOME degree).

And, from what AnnMarie has briefly hinted at, it sounds like there may be some perceived and/or actual lack of input and discussion in the past, which is surfacing in this situation.

I personally witnessed my mother suffer in a somewhat similar degree: for years and years, my parents raised their children, and saved up, living a very simple lifestyle. My father had some bad investment choices, but they were still able to accumulate a sizable nest egg. Their dream was to buy some land in Florida to build a vacation/retirement home. My mother was after my father for years and years to buy some ground. My father (who was self-employed) called ALL the financial shots - even though my mother worked without any compensation of her own at his company handling all of the payroll and some of the bookkeeping (in addition to completely raising the children)....and watched as real estate prices went nowhere but up through the 80s and 90s. He used the carrot and stick of a home in Florida to try and keep everything on a frugal track in terms of family expenditures - and that was pretty much the main motivation and dream that my mom had to hold on to. As time passed, it became more and more clear that my father would never agree to buying something in Florida simply because he didn't want to pay a certain amount (which he could have afforded) - despite my mom's yearnings and dreams. As such, my mom began to realize that her dream would never come to fruition...and that there would be no 'consolation prizes'.

Somehow, God must have pushed a button, because my father suddenly broke down and agreed to purchase a lot in 1998, and they subsequently began building their house. It made my mother much happier....but I can only imagine what she felt like all those years, and what she would still be feeling if he hadn't (for some reason) purchased the ground.

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Originally Posted by Texas Proud I do like the site you had on 'fair' distribution...

I'll never forget how I completely accidentally came up on the article...I was wandering aimlessly through the library's 5th floor as a freshman in college, where they had some of the stacks of the last 12 months of various magazine subscriptions. I had never spent any time up there before that, and never returned to that area after.

As I passed one random row, I glanced down and saw a stack of Scientific American magazines. On the cover was some reference to "envy-free distribution (the article was written a month or two after the discovery of the proof). I was intrigued, and picked up the magazine and read the article. I was so impressed, I made a copy for my archives (when my grandparents pass on - since I'm one of those uber-plan-aheaders - as well as any other need ).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud I have a different take on it. I will be the executor of my mothers estate when she dies (which I hope is a long time from now).. She does not have much, but does have 6 kids... and all my sisters have said they want 'X' or 'Y'.... so I have told my mom and all them that I plan on having an auction... They can buy anything they wish, and it they wish it more than the other sister then they will pay more for it.... the cash goes into the estate and is then distributed...

That's exactly how I envision my grandmother's estate to be settled in a painless way! She does have a few pieces of jewelery, so for anything of significant value (>$1,000), I'd take it to a jewelery store for a quick, rough appraisal so each bidder knows roughly what each item is worth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud As for the land... that is why I said draw a box around her house that is 'fair'... and let the rest go to the other children and let them sell... done...

Well, unfortunately for AnnMarie, the in-laws are apparently claiming that there may be some issue with a potential buyer and the zoning. If they keep it zoned as one giant parcel as farmland, then it's a low-tax base. However, if they have to rezone/subdivide it, it might suddenly become zoned at a different level/use. If true, it could be appraised at a (possibly significantly) higher tax base, and would cost the developer more money in taxes (resulting in a lower purchase offer). The developer will likely hold the property for 5-10 years (developers sometimes buy land ahead of time to put in the portfolio for future growth), and then take another 2-3 years to sell all of the homes once they finally break ground - so you're looking at almost 10-15+ years of much higher real estate taxes for the developer.

However, that is just a guess - the in-laws could easily be making that up as a groundless cause for keeping the entire farm as one giant parcel instead of carving out AnnMarie's family's 20 acre swath. I would think that the connections that some of the in-laws allegedly have with some of the city council, they could work out some deal...but perhaps they don't have that much pull?

Also, it sounds like the surveyor made a huge goof and misrecorded the deed, with her family's structure (barn?) over their property line into the overall estate grounds. If the in-laws wanted to really make life hell for her family, they'd hold fast to the survey, and require the structure to be taken off of the estate grounds.

HOWEVER - AnnMarie, know that there are certain 'squatters laws' in real estate law where (effectively) if you build something or take over some ground, and no one challenges you or argues with you, it - more or less - becomes yours after so many years.

So, depending on the laws pertaining to your municipality and how long the structure has been built that crosses the property line, you can make a good argument that no one ever complained that you were building on 'their property', so the property lines should be able to be redrawn for that reason alone - much less the point that the original survey and platt record was incorrectly recorded (if you have any proof or documentation regarding that).

[packrat44]

MooreBonds;

Very good observations. However, there is probably a voodoo doll being made to your likeness for saying it as it is. The OP hates me simply for giving my opinion that I thought it would be an extreme move to divorce her husband because of this situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnMarie I do hate the one guy said I was hard core. AnnMarie

[chinaco]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnMarie ... And as far as the husband thing. That is a different story all together and a long one at that. The land is only a small part of it. The short version is I had hoped since the kids have grown and it was to be just the two of us, we could live here and maybe rebuild our relationship. So I am sorry I sounded so hard core and made such a bad impression. Believe me I am far from it, except when it comes to my kids maybe. AnnMarie

It sounds like you have marital problems.

Of course no one here know about your personal situation... but your post is starting to sound a little selfish.

Apparently you are considering a separation and yet griping about how his families wants to settle the inheritance. :confused:

My Advice. (Assuming you are not in an abusive relationship)... You are too demanding on family matters. Even if you have some ax to grind... you need to put it aside. Of course your husband does not want to alienate his siblings. You may need to look in the mirror and examine your own motives and behavior. Your expectations are a bit selfish and perhaps unrealistic.

There are certain things in life that you cannot control, nor can your husband control them. You should not let your disappointment drive you to anger and start blaming people for things beyond their control... You need to refocus on what is important and what you have instead of being angry about something beyond your or your husbands control.

Good luck... you are going to need it.

[OAG]

It has taken a while but I think the root of this problem has been identified. If the husband and wife were on the same sheet of music I doubt the problem would be as large. Some one has reached middle age, raised the kids, is looking some type of reward and is willing to and is IMO itching for a fight. Good Luck! Unfortunately, if the martial problems can't be solved, (IMO the kids, and what they "want", is being used as a weapon, which never works out very well, and forces them to "take sides") this entire situation is not going to end well. Get lawyers, resurvey property, fight with siblings, use kids, threaten divorce, very nice recipe for a family disaster.

[haha]

I remember some of the polls where members said they were INTJ types.

I can see the J part anyway. AnnMarie gave a lot of personal info, I think we should get off her case.

Lots of Know-It-Alls around.

Even on the topic or inheritance/separate property in a divorce. How many of us posters are Alabama attornies? How many have seen the will in question? How many know the case law about actual property splits involving inheritances in that state?

AnnMarie feels wounded and abandoned and we are piling on. Lots of dubious legal pronouncements, and even more dubious amateur marriage counseling.

If many of us have the perfect marriages that we let on, why can't we be more charitable to those who admit that they do not (or did not) have perfect marriages?

It seems like a pact on this board is that while our work careers really sucked (albeit through no fault of our own), everything else has been totally copacetic.

IMO, not likely.

Ha

[Caroline]

Quote:

AnnMarie feels wounded and abandoned and we are piling on. Lots of dubious legal pronouncements, and even more dubious amateur marriage counseling.

What Ha said... which is why my recommendation is to put the lawyer second on your list of to-dos and get to a marriage counselor, asap.

Being wounded and abandoned leads to anger and to everyone saying things that can never be taken back. We don't know you or your whole situation and none of us can judge it from here, but several folks are concluding (perhaps wrongly) that you are more involved in the land question than in your relationship with your husband. If this is what strangers (folks on this board) mistakenly think, then hubby just might be getting the same impression. And your children are listening to every word, you can count on it.

It may be that you're so disappointed with your husband / the situation that you're willing to leave the marriage. But a counselor will help you put this whole situation in perspective so you can make your decisions, one way or another, with your eyes open.

Good luck to you.