Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Newbee wanting advice
Old 12-11-2007, 07:43 AM   #1
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 9
Newbee wanting advice

Hello, It's been refreshing reading and now I'm writing. Here's my short story.
I retired the Special Operations Forces after 24 years and decided to start teaching fifth graders. I lasted three years before the frustration of my hearing loss (too many guns from too many helicopters) caused me to become a statistic. (most teachers quit within five years)
My wife still teaches (first grade) and my two boys are in High School.

We are financially able for me to not work but I feel guilty for it.

I have spent time and invested money in job searching but I am coming to realize that nothing out there really gets me fired up. The boys like having dad around as does my wife.

At this point I feel like I am waiting for the boys to move on (3yrs) and for my wife to stop working so we can buy the RV and disappear.

Problem is I am only 44 and I feel guilty, can't relate to old friends, and have a constant nagging feeling of being a bum. Please help me find a good hobby or suggest some part time work I can look into.

Thanks......time to take the kids to school...........
__________________

__________________
eudaimoniac is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 12-11-2007, 07:49 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,151
Quote:
Originally Posted by eudaimoniac View Post
Problem is I am only 44 and I feel guilty, can't relate to old friends, and have a constant nagging feeling of being a bum. Please help me find a good hobby or suggest some part time work I can look into.
Welcome to the forum. Nords will be along shortly to straighten you out.
__________________

__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 08:14 AM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,446
Welcome! See my signature. BTW, I'm 53 and I don't feel any guilt.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 08:42 AM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,906
The way I look at it, if you are FI, then you deserve ER. It is money related, not chronological.

If the situation was reversed and your wife was not working, it wouldn't even be an issue.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 08:48 AM   #5
Recycles dryer sheets
fisherman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 478
First of THANK YOU for your service to our country! I am grateful for people like you and other military members of this board. I sincerely believe you deserve all that you have and more. Lose the guilt and be a Dad and a Husband. There is no more important job at this point.
__________________
Worked the plan and now living the Dream!
fisherman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 09:00 AM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,015
Quote:
Originally Posted by fisherman View Post
First of THANK YOU for your service to our country! I am grateful for people like you and other military members of this board. I sincerely believe you deserve all that you have and more. Lose the guilt and be a Dad and a Husband. There is no more important job at this point.
I agree, but if you are looking for something to fill a few hours, have you considered volunteering? There are hundreds of charitable organizations that need volunteers to do all sorts of things, from direct people to people contact to administrative duties to pretty much you name it. Given your interesting past, I can't imagine an organization that wouldn't be eager to have a few hours of your time.
__________________
Achiever51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 09:50 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Coach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 1,127
Househusband is an honorable profession, eudaimoniac.

Coach
__________________
Coach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 10:11 AM   #8
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 9
Roger.... Copy all
Thanks for the insight
__________________
eudaimoniac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 10:40 AM   #9
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 582
Hi Eudaimoniac,

I can sympathize, I had similar guilt while I was in grad school and DH was working, even though (as in your case) DH thought it was fine that I mostly didn't have a paid job. From that respect, it feels great to be working now, and I mostly really like my job. On the other hand, because I was semi-home and able to take care of the house, cooking, finances, keeping in touch with long-distance friends, etc, I see what we're missing now that I don't have as much time for those things. Me being at home made life easier for DH and I both.

I agree with Achiever51, there are a lot of great volunteer opportunities out there. I've realized that there's a lot of important work that needs to be done in the world that no one's going to pay you for, or they won't pay you well. Raising kids is at the top of this list, but there's plenty going on out in the community as well. Your local paper probably has some listings - if you start going to a few community events per week it won't take long to identify some possibilities.

And congrats on your retirement!!
__________________

WM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 10:48 AM   #10
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 36
Hi Eudaimoniac it's great to meet you... I completely agree with WM's response that you should consider volunteering in your community. It would be a great way lend a helping hand and to meet some new friends.
__________________
layla17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 01:15 PM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,654
24 years of special forces is enough work for a lifetime. Consider the 3 years teaching some additional penance and as my mother used to say, "you have earned your halo in heaven." Stay home with the kids and enjoy - you have earned it.
__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 01:59 PM   #12
Full time employment: Posting here.
jambo101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 940
Stop feeling guilty about not working its just a phase you are going through where you are painting your self worth by the need to be needed,I'd go get some kind of minimum wage job so that your daily life takes on some structure and you get that sense of being needed back..
My dad had similar feelings a few yrs after retirement and went down to the local supermarket and started bagging groceries,lately at 80yrs old he is driving a little pickup truck delivering auto parts.It sure isnt for the money as he has over a million in the bank.
Thanks for your service,(insert salute smiley)
__________________
"Second star to the right and straight on till morning"
jambo101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 02:06 PM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
jIMOh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Milford, OH
Posts: 2,085
depending on where you live, consider getting a government consulting job part time. If you live anywhere near Wash DC, you could clear 40k-120k per hour as a consultant. Look at state capital and maybe find a congressperson or business which needs someone with a government background.

Don't feel guilty, though, as many of us still w*rking would trade places with you in a minute.
__________________
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. One person's stupidity is another person's job security.
jIMOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 02:27 PM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Brat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 5,914
Thank you so much for your service.

It is difficult for someone who is very outgoing and has been busy contributing to society to just withdraw into the family.
My son had a hearing loss in high school, I know how difficult it must have been for you. Classrooms are not good acoustic environments. You have a hearing loss so getting involved in programs for the hard of hearing would be an appropriate fit. Explore this with your VA ENT/Audiologist, or maybe even the special needs staff at your local school district. You would be an excellent choice as tutor for a student who is not deaf but who has audiological issues - someone who understands the classroom and the challenges for the student.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
Brat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 02:45 PM   #15
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
Quote:
Originally Posted by eudaimoniac View Post
Hello, It's been refreshing reading and now I'm writing. Here's my short story.
I retired the Special Operations Forces after 24 years and decided to start teaching fifth graders. I lasted three years before the frustration of my hearing loss (too many guns from too many helicopters) caused me to become a statistic. (most teachers quit within five years)
My wife still teaches (first grade) and my two boys are in High School.

We are financially able for me to not work but I feel guilty for it.

I have spent time and invested money in job searching but I am coming to realize that nothing out there really gets me fired up. The boys like having dad around as does my wife.

At this point I feel like I am waiting for the boys to move on (3yrs) and for my wife to stop working so we can buy the RV and disappear.

Problem is I am only 44 and I feel guilty, can't relate to old friends, and have a constant nagging feeling of being a bum. Please help me find a good hobby or suggest some part time work I can look into.

Thanks......time to take the kids to school...........
I understand your frustration. Your career was very results oriented, and now there aren't ready benchmarks for you to check off. I know a few former spec-ops and Rangers- most of them are still at it in one way of another. Contractors training troops everywhere in the third world; running executive protection businesses; consulting with foreign governmental departments or US based multi-nationals on security and awareness of their operating environments. I am sure you have lots of friends doing similar things! One aquaintance is a disaster relief consultant.

I hope you find something that will allow you to continue to employ your gifts and skills, yet give you enough time at home too.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 06:04 PM   #16
Moderator
Ronstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A little ways southwest of Chicago
Posts: 9,373
I want to also thank you for your service to our country. The most important profession in this country is that of protecting our freedom and citizens. So don't feel guilty for not being fired up to find a job. You've already worked a lifetime worth of work.
__________________
Ronstar is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 06:20 PM   #17
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Rustic23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Lake Livingston, Tx
Posts: 3,624
I spent 20 years, most of which, as a Forward Air Controller. When I retired I was much like you. I did not want to fly for the air lines, and just could not adjust to sitting around the house. Long story short, I took up residential appraisal. I found it was something I could do on my time, make a little money and kept me on the move. That lead to several other things before I finally decided that I could sit around a do nothing, and that is what I do now.
__________________
Rustic23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2007, 09:12 PM   #18
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2
You've gotten lots of good ideas. As someone who began full-time RVing at 47, I can tell you there is lots to do on the road- if your wife is willing to retire/quit work in 3 years.

There are paying jobs and volunteer opportunities that are fun and challenging. Plus you get to see our country. We worked as seasonals for the National Park Service but have seen many fun choices. Good luck!

In the meantime you can start researching if the idea interests you.
__________________
CalamityJaimie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2007, 06:46 AM   #19
Recycles dryer sheets
BigBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Sebring
Posts: 190
You have lots to offer, with your background! Can you consider doing the "what I always wanted to do" thing? Something that really brings the youth out in you.
Also, I am sure that local BSA troops would love to have someone with your experience, and you might enjoy the camping/outing with them.
__________________
BigBob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2007, 12:36 PM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Brat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 5,914
I second the suggestion of the Boy Scouts and add Boys and Girls Club. With so many parents both holding down full time jobs adult role models who have time to listen and share skills are in short supply.
__________________

__________________
Duck bjorn.
Brat is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
32 and wanting to retire in a few years needtoretireearly Hi, I am... 61 12-08-2005 04:15 PM
22 Years Old and wanting more... geeman Young Dreamers 73 06-30-2005 04:57 PM
Newbee here jg35 Hi, I am... 25 06-07-2005 07:55 AM
40 and wanting out fanfairs Hi, I am... 2 07-13-2003 02:46 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:09 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.