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On the path to recovery
Old 05-20-2015, 12:52 PM   #1
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On the path to recovery

I was on the board a number of years ago, more than I care to remember. Back in 2005, my wife and I create a family retirement plan; we both had good jobs, a retirement home in Florida and a very small mortgage on our primary residence that was to be paid off in 4 years.

Then the perfect storm hit. Our son, 24 years old was killed in an auto accident. My wife and high school sweetheart was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. In 2008, along with the economy collapse I lost my job after our division in a large pharmaceutical company was sold and decimated. I was out of work for almost three years; with a very sick wife, having to pay cobra, holding multiple properties and a failed real estate transaction had everything we had worked for in the past 30 years coming undone. Between the loses in our investments, having no income and paying several mortgages. I had to take a large portion from my 401K to keep a roof over our heads. I was months from filing for bankruptcy when I landed a job in 2011. It's a good job, but nothing like I had previously. I've hired a tax attorney to guide me through the taxes issues resulting for the 401K withdraw -- it's not pretty, but it can be managed.

My wife was in and out of hospitals for surgery and chemo every year of 8 years. She fought a good fight, but died in 2012. After she was gone, I went into a very bad depression. I slowly pulled myself out of my darkness with the help of family and friends. I'll never recover financially and have the retirement my wife and I dreamed of. But, I'll be ok.

Last summer, I married a wonderful lady who I know is my gift. I had hoped to retire when I was 57 back in 2005 -- that's not going to happen. I tell myself that the events in the last 10 years of my life would have destroyed many people -- While I don't feel like I've won, because I have lost so much -- I take pride with who and where I am.

So I'm glad to be back. I'll post my retirement figures / questions in the appropriate forums later.
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Old 05-20-2015, 12:57 PM   #2
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I am very sorry for these huge losses in your life. It is well that you have been able to swim clear of some aspects, while of course others will never be the same.

Welcome back.

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Old 05-20-2015, 01:16 PM   #3
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Welcome back. God Bless!

Life often takes us in unplanned directions. Happy to hear you're making progress on yours.
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:25 PM   #4
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Wow. Nobody should have to endure that much in a lifetime, let along that short a time period. You must be a very strong person.
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:25 PM   #5
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Wow, it sure sounds like you're one very strong person. I commend you for your spirit. Welcome back to this family.
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:29 PM   #6
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I think I would call that an extremely imperfect storm.


Glad you weathered it.


Welcome back.
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Old 05-20-2015, 03:49 PM   #7
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I cried when I read this.

And to think, you remembered the forum and came back.

Amethyst
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Old 05-20-2015, 04:22 PM   #8
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I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. I wish you peace and happiness in your future.


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Old 05-20-2015, 04:47 PM   #9
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Welcome back to the forum, wyecrabber1.

Having lost my DW in an accident back in 2009, I can empathize just a little. Losing my son or daughter too would be something I cannot imagine.

Congratulations on getting your financial life moving forward again and on your new life with the new Mrs. wyecrabber1. I myself have become somewhat of a Hermit and have not ran across a lady who might want to become a Mrs. Hermit.

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Old 05-20-2015, 06:41 PM   #10
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There are few things that make us appreciate our own lives, as seeing people with dreams, watching those dreams being struck down... and then rebuilding and living a full and beautiful life.

Best wishes for many, many happy years to you and your new bride.
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Old 05-20-2015, 06:55 PM   #11
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So sorry to hear about all your losses ! You are very strong !
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Old 05-20-2015, 07:28 PM   #12
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Your story is inspiring. I'm so sorry for your personal losses, but so glad that you've come through that to find a new life with its own joys and rewards. While I'm sorry you had financial losses, it's good that your planning in advance allowed you to have funds to withdraw when necessary. Your original plans have changed, but your ability to work through difficulties will help you make the most of every day.
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Old 05-20-2015, 07:56 PM   #13
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Strong indeed. I can't imagine the pain you have endured but I can definitely sympathize. Welcome back.
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Old 05-20-2015, 10:06 PM   #14
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I'm so sorry to hear about your losses...welcome back and congratulations on your remarriage and your new future.
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Old 05-20-2015, 10:25 PM   #15
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Very sorry to hear about your losses but very happy you found a way to survive and flourish. Going through a similar journey (wife has had cancer twice in 5 years, last chemo in 3 weeks). We don't know what the future will bring but your story is inspiring and gives hope that it's possible to survive just about anything.


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Old 05-20-2015, 10:49 PM   #16
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Close to tears here too wyecrabber1. You have truly been thru the perfect storm and survived. I am very sorry you experienced all the losses that you have had to endure: your son, your wife, your job and the financial crisis zapping your investments during that 10 year period of time. Here is to your continued happiness for the path you are now on.
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Old 05-21-2015, 06:02 AM   #17
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Whecrabber1; I can't think of anything to add to the thoughts sentiments and good wishes from the others but wanted to acknowledge your post as well. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 05-21-2015, 10:03 AM   #18
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Thanks everyone for the well wishes and nice welcome/re-entry.
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Old 05-22-2015, 09:41 AM   #19
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Welcome back, you certainly have been tested and experienced more in 10 years than many do in a lifetime. It sounds like you have a good outlook for future and will do OK, albeit with different plans than you had. Your inner strength will pull you through.
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Old 05-22-2015, 10:03 AM   #20
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Welcome back. A very rough 10 years. I'm not sure I could have survived it. You are indeed strong and resilient. Wishing you all good things.


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