Great Thread! Eileen I also ask myself a similar question. I've read a couple books and I like the one Retire happy Wild and free,as it spoke to me in a way i understood. I started a diagram of options for my retirement and added lots of stuff. It's a pleasing exercise you may want to try!
My spouse is a bit more concerned with how to spend time but I think between the two of us, we can do things together and also pursue individual interests. I'm planning to be "able" to ER Jan/Feb 2016, spouse ER target Jan/Feb 2017.
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