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Pulled the Plug and Thinking I Should Have Done OMY
Old 02-13-2018, 07:57 AM   #1
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Pulled the Plug and Thinking I Should Have Done OMY

I gave my retirement notice last year around March for year end 2017. Worked a deal to stay on remote part time through Sept. 2018 to keep me qualified to receive my March 2018 bonus ( I get half of a reduced salary plus full benefits) On Jan. 3 I had foot surgery and have been laid up healing since them. After this "break" and being able to do nothing else but think I keep dwelling on the money I left on the table by not working OMY (I did OMY for the last two years). Last March, two years of work seemed impossible but now that it's ONE year, it seems like I could have done it. But the OMY syndrome could have continued.

My plans are to move out of state once recuperated in a month to be near family (I am single) after moving away 32 years ago to chase a career. I have been telling my parents for the last 3 years I'm retiring in OMY and moving back. I love it there. I am been existing where I am : very low cost housing, banking almost every penny. My investments total $3 million, 60/35/5. I am 57 1/2.

My plan is to build a house near my parents (80 years old) (I own the lot) so my housing costs will increase compared to current low expenses, I have totaled my projected expenses and they come to $60 k with padding.

Now that it is Feb 2018 I cannot shake the thought of the extra $200k that I could have banked but I keep telling myself time is finite and I couldn't do OMY forever. Part of my issue is that I'm laid up and cannot enjoy my freedom. That should happen soon with my move and as I firm up plans with my builder. But even that gets me queasy after years of spending practically nothing of what I was making. I feel so guilty spending this much on a house. I have no kids and no debts.

I feel that I can't let go of the guilt of giving up a good paying job that wasn't bad but I had had enough of the commute and spending my days in an office building.

I have a simple lifestyle and don't require much. I believe my spending (other than the house) will be low these first few years as I see where I end up with expenses. The house with be around $250k plus additions like landscaping, appliances, furniture, window coverings.

All of this is staring to haunt me as I lie on the couch letting my foot heal. I am a worrier and have lost 10 pounds due to my anxiety.

How can I lose the feeling that I should done one more year? Will I ever?
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Old 02-13-2018, 08:19 AM   #2
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Hello and welcome to the forum. I never had exactly the OMY syndrome but I too am prone to second guessing my decisions. I suspect if I found myself in your situation (laid up on the couch) I would be second guessing just about everything - particularly the money.

It sounds like later this year you will have plenty to fill your time. Focus on those issues and work toward them rather than giving thought to the money you could have made.

Several people I worked with definitely have the OMY syndrome going on. I on the other hand have been retired for nearly 7 years while many of them "OMY" their life away.

If you are FI, I suggest you go ahead and RE and make the most of it!
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Old 02-13-2018, 08:44 AM   #3
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All we are saying, is give RE a chance

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2017wasthe year View Post

... Part of my issue is that I'm laid up and cannot enjoy my freedom...
I suspect this excerpt explains your discomfiture.

Many of the seasoned retirees here have attested that the NON-financial aspects of retirement are the most important ones. "Retire TO something, not just FROM something," they will say. That's why there are so many NON-financial (travel, health, hobbies, etc.) subforums on this board.

But you've been laid up recovering from surgery instead of out pursuing your dreams. Maybe your OMY won't vanish instantly once you're back on two feet, but it's not surprising that it haunts you now while you're still hobbled. Your new freedom hasn't yet had time to show you what it can do.

A recent thread asked people how long it took them to get their head aligned with retirement. The answers ranged from zero time to many months. I'd suggest you try not to draw any conclusions about how long your adjustment will take until after you have made some of your plans happen, for example, your move back to the old hometown.

Good luck and keep posting.
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Old 02-13-2018, 08:54 AM   #4
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^ excellent review and advise.
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Old 02-13-2018, 08:55 AM   #5
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When I decided to retire, I considered how much money I was giving up to have my freedom. I had planned to work an additional two years, but decided the amount of money I would have saved wasn't worth it and wouldn't make an overall huge difference to my overall investments.

Is $200K out of your investments of $3 million worth it to stay another year?
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Old 02-13-2018, 09:27 AM   #6
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Maybe read this!

Blow that Dough! - 2018

Or figure out you can't buy time.
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:02 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by 2017wasthe year View Post
I have been telling my parents for the last 3 years I'm retiring in OMY and moving back. I love it there.
This (and the money you have in your portfolio) tell me everything I'd need to know.
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:33 AM   #8
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I think if you run FireCalc you will find that you are very financially secure. I hope you have some favorite charities to give all the money you will amass during the rest of your life. You can add more money to your stash if you want to continue the OMYs. I am sure the charities you choose will be very thankful.

And welcome to the forum. Lots of threads on OMY if you care to search for them.
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:46 AM   #9
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Welcome 2017! If you haven't found them already, we have a helpful list of things to help you realize that you are really ready to go:

Some Important Questions to Answer

As already pointed out above, OMY is common around here, but if you are good to go in FIREcalc, it sounds like you really are retiring TO something (your parents and a wonderful place to live) so we'll be happy to help talk you out of OMY. Hope you are back on your feet and happily retired soon!
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:24 AM   #10
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I agree with Mblerth.

The next point just addresses the money aspect. The problem with OMY, is you will always have more money if you keep working! Assuming a 7% average portfolio return, working OMY looks like this.

@ $3M your investments grow $210K per year
@ $5M your investments grow $350k per year
@ $10M your investments grow $700k per year

If more money is the goal, we could never retire and it gets worse the longer we wait! The moral, retire early before its to costly to quit.
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Old 02-13-2018, 04:15 PM   #11
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You can try paying yourself a monthly salary, define that as your 'means', and live within that. The advantage: if you were a W2 employee and/or 1099 contractor your entire career, then this mental framework is comfortable and familiar. This is the approach I've been using the past 11 years since bailing out of megacorp at age 44.

If you don't have much in the way of income producing assets, then you'll need to do some creative accounting. In my case, I'm able to use actual income - no virtualization required.

Good luck!
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Old 02-13-2018, 04:37 PM   #12
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My feeling is, once you settle into your FIRE way of life, and realize you have more than plenty, and you start enjoying the freedom that comes with the FIRE, you will never look back. Your parents are getting older too, and it sounds like they've been waiting for your return, so I don't think you made a mistake by calling it quits now, but that's just what I gathered from your post.
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:19 PM   #13
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I lost my parents when I was 30 (mom) and 32 (dad). I'm now 60, and I can unequivocally tell you that OMY of work is worth far less than spending more time with your folks.
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:31 PM   #14
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If you did go and OMY, that extra $200k would be money you will never touch, or need. You should have no guilt about not adding to a balance that is already more than you want. Even if you plan to leave an inheritance or loads to charity, you're good.

Don't make any decisions until you are back to full health. Given your injury and the time of year, it's easy to have 2nd thoughts. If you still feel this way when you're up and active, and it's 80 degrees and sunny, then come back here and ask again (we'll still tell you to retire!).
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:41 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PartIrish View Post
I lost my parents when I was 30 (mom) and 32 (dad). I'm now 60, and I can unequivocally tell you that OMY of work is worth far less than spending more time with your folks.
This is the aspect of FIRE and moving back close to your parents that hits home to me. At 80 years old, your parents' good health can be fleeting. My parents were in excellent health while I was w*rking. Then at age 69, father became ill and died a year later. My mother mentally declined since then and cannot remember me or her late husband anymore. I hope you don't look back on OMY with regret.
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:13 PM   #16
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Welcome to the club.

Although my situation is much different, I occasionally second-guess my decision as you are now. That seems to happen when there is slack time with the kids' activities and the weather isn't pleasant outside.

When I do that, I remind myself of the reasons why I made the decision. In my case, it was that I have enough to live as I like and my kids needed a full-time parent more than more than my employer needed me.

You've satisfied yourself that the material aspects of your life won't suffer (and probably better, as you will be living where you like).

My advice is to cut yourself some slack, heal up, and get on with the life you seek.
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:24 PM   #17
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I cannot tell you all how much these responses have meant to me. Each one is so well thought out and spot on. It seems like each one of you completely understood my feelings and yet sorted through the confusion that I keep experiencing. For some reason I kind of felt I need "permission" to do this ... Thank you to each one of you who responded in your own individual way. You touched me and helped me enormously. I am forever in your debt! Rationally, I know that money will be in my account when I die. But after years of focusing on accumulating, it's so hard to stop. But stop I will. I am going to enjoy life that is so very limited and way too short. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:58 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by 2017wasthe year View Post

My plans are to move out of state once recuperated in a month to be near family (I am single) after moving away 32 years ago to chase a career. I have been telling my parents for the last 3 years I'm retiring in OMY and moving back. I love it there. I am been existing where I am : very low cost housing, banking almost every penny. My investments total $3 million, 60/35/5. I am 57 1/2.

My plan is to build a house near my parents (80 years old) (I own the lot) so my housing costs will increase compared to current low expenses, I have totaled my projected expenses and they come to $60 k with padding.

....

I feel that I can't let go of the guilt of giving up a good paying job that wasn't bad but I had had enough of the commute and spending my days in an office building.
So, you are reporting a 2% withdrawal rate based on padded expenses and are not even including SS, but yet you have done 3x OMY's! Sound to me that you have "over-saved" and are now 3 Years Late on your promise to yourself and your folks to FIRE and return home....

As for the guilt of leaving the $$, there will be many eager have your nice j*b when you are gone. You have plenty of money, but rationally time with your parents while they are both still healthy has to be more scarce and precious. Frankly, you have tons of $$ relative to expenses, but limited time.

One of my few life regrets is that my parents aren't around to enjoy FIRE with me and DW. I long dreamed of giving my folks the "good life" for all that they have sacrificed for me. I FIRE'd more than 10 years too late. When w*rking I didn't have the time and energy to be fully present with them.

I'm glad you have a strong relationship with your parents and good memories of home. It's precious, and, unfortunately, fragile. I implore you to make the move while it still matters.
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Old 02-15-2018, 09:45 AM   #19
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My approach would be to regard the options before you as several choices, each with plusses and minuses. And, when you are single with 3 million, there isn't such a thing as ONE BEST CHOICE. You won't be making a mistake (well, don't take up car racing). Repeat after me: "None of my choices are mistakes. I am free to move forward in the knowledge I am financially independent and secure."
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Old 02-15-2018, 10:05 AM   #20
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I will make another post to this thread because there is many great stories for not working one more year.

I regret not being able to retire earlier so I could of spent more time with my folks while they were a live. Those last years of their lives I was running full speed ahead chasing that ladder of what we call success. I had to travel to see them and help them and that was limited at the time.

I retired 3 years after my mom had passed away. Now I would have so much more time I could of spent with her because of not working. If you can don't look what you left on the table because of money look what you left on the able you missed out on.
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