Recent Early Retiree adjustment advice

[Simona2018]

Hello,

I'm new to the forum and hoping for wisdom on adjusting to the pace of retired life after a hectic career.

SC in WDC

 

[kitesurfer2]

going on 3 years for me and adjustment is not done. I still wake up 0400 or so, never after 0600. i've developed a very lazy attitude of taking a 2 hour job and planning it for a week, and then take 2 days to do it.

 

[Jerry1]

Tell us a little more about yourself. In particular, what are you struggling with or what do you think you’ll struggle with? In general, it’s something you just have to relax and let happen. You’re not going to adjust in one day or week. In six months if you’re actually struggling, I’d be a bit more concerned. If you’re worried about not having enough to do, I’ve heard time and time again that “I have so much going on, I don’t know how I ever found time to work.” Start with those projects around the house you never had time for. Also, start an exercise program. Those two things seem to be common jumping off points.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[HawkeyeNFO]

How long do you plan to stay in the District? I'm nearby, but on the other side of the river. Because of kids in school, I'm here for at least 10 years. Hope to be working for just a few more years.

 

[Hilltopper]

Congratulations on your retirement! I'm just 2 months in after a fast-paced 35 years in IT. I left a very senior role and shut down cold-turkey. I can see it will be an extended adjustment period, as right now I just feel like I'm on an extended vacation. There must be many issues back at Corporate to be concerned with!

Not sure if this helps, but I've been working on reducing the need to feel like my schedule has to be full from sun up to sundown, and remembering that I don't have to keep assigning myself tasks to complete by the end of the day or the week. I've been doing an awful lot of yard work and gardening or other "chores" to achieve that sense of accomplishment, for now. I break for a nice lunch and commit to do something fun or otherwise new or interesting for the rest of the day. I guess this is just a crutch for now, but is working for me.

 

[Simona2018]

Hi, we are actually in Alexandria having recently relocated from Boston for good I think.

 

[Simona2018]

Adjusting to retirement

Thanks all for the words of advice. The long vacation feeling was lovely the first few months . Gardening, house projects and exercise classes are all going strong. My struggle is not feeling useful. I left a senior role in Pharm R&D and now have no hard problems to solve. I’m looking into volunteer opportunities- maybe that will do it.

Gratedul for your thoughts.

 

[Oz investor]

Hello,

I'm new to the forum and hoping for wisdom on adjusting to the pace of retired life after a hectic career.

SC in WDC

welcome to the forum ,

i am probably not the best teacher here , i went along to Social Security hoping for sickness benefits ( but mainly healthcare concessions card ) they sent me to a medical review and gave me a disability pension instead

i have only been shocked a few times in my life but that was one of them

add in the new medications regime and my plans for retirement are Supa-glued in pause .

you could try looking for hobbies , catch up on interests from younger years

any stamps , coins sports cards from your youth

taking a deep breath and having a good look at the scenery can help as well

cheers !!

maybe resisting the morning coffee might help

 

[trumpeting_angel]

I’ve read elsewhere that it takes at least a year to adjust. I’m retiring slowly, currently working about 3.5 days/week. I recently moved to rural Vermont, a goal for a long time. Bought a house with cash and adjusting to living on less.

Almost every day I experience first, wishing I was done with work, and then, loving the work I do and wanting to continue. I do think I’ll be cutting down more, though. I reach FRA next year. (Not exactly early retirement, I know!). So it’s clear that adjusting will be a big deal. I think.

 

[Dtail]

Thanks all for the words of advice. The long vacation feeling was lovely the first few months . Gardening, house projects and exercise classes are all going strong. My struggle is not feeling useful. I left a senior role in Pharm R&D and now have no hard problems to solve. I’m looking into volunteer opportunities- maybe that will do it.

Gratedul for your thoughts.

I also left a senior role job. I find that learning more and more about Personal Finance and Investing, plus being in charge of 4 different portfolios keeps my mind active.
Perhaps you can volunteer in financial type work.

 

[Jerry1]

. . .now have no hard problems to solve.

Try booking a flight to New Zeeland for $2,000 first class.

But seriously, challenge yourself to go somewhere with conditions that will challenge you. Maybe somewhere where you’ll have to quickly learn a language. Maybe a place that will teach you a new skill. I saw something the other day where Porsche will teach you to drive fast on ice! Who knows, figuring it out is part of the challenge you seek

 

[RAE]

Thanks all for the words of advice. The long vacation feeling was lovely the first few months . Gardening, house projects and exercise classes are all going strong. My struggle is not feeling useful. I left a senior role in Pharm R&D and now have no hard problems to solve. I’m looking into volunteer opportunities- maybe that will do it.

Gratedul for your thoughts.

I think you are basically still in "work mode". It's not a long vacation anymore, you have now moved into a new (and potentially very exciting) phase of your life, where you get to decide where and how you want to spend your time. I think that is the way you have to look at it. If you need to be challenged, I'm sure there are many organizations out there who could put your skills to good use (as a volunteer)......continue to seek them out. What about mentoring young people, perhaps in an academic setting.....is that something that would interest you? Should be lots of opportunities to do that as well. After 8 years of retirement, my problem now is that I have too many volunteer commitments.......need to cut back a lot so that I can free up more time for myself and my family.

 

[texcurtis]

Recommend the book - How to retire happy wild & free. It’s about retirement & nothing about finances. [emoji41].

I’m 3.5 years post retirement from a stressful career & am learning to embrace that I don’t have to be productive to be a valuable person.

 

[marko]

I think you are basically still in "work mode". It's not a long vacation anymore, you have now moved into a new (and potentially very exciting) phase of your life, where you get to decide where and how you want to spend your time. I think that is the way you have to look at it. .

+1
IMO, if you feel "like on vacation" you're still using work as your context.

That's ok. But over time the vacation mentality leaves and every day just becomes "the way you live now". It took me over two years to stop using work as my reference and 'be'.

I was also in a high profile job; just hang in there and the 'need to be useful' also fades away.

You've had surgery in a way....you've had your job removed! The healing takes time.

 

[IMATERP]

I retired 7 months ago from State Govt. I'm 57 and wife still plans to work for 5+ years. After 4 months, I still was feeling a bit restless and discontent - so I found some part time work - 8 to 15 hours a week proctoring formal education exams. This has been a very nice change of pace and has been a very nice balance for me. I no longer feel guilty about being at home on days that I do not work and easily am able to turn the switch from retirement to work mode. I also recognize that this "side hustle" is something that I want to do as opposed to something I have to do.

By the way, I have plenty of flexibility and have set up the following three trips over the next 15 months: 4 days at beach in August, 10 day cruise to Aruba in January, and 14 day vacation/cruise to Hawaii in Oct 2019.

Again, the key is having the right balance!

I

 

[iloveyoga]

Thanks all for the words of advice. The long vacation feeling was lovely the first few months . Gardening, house projects and exercise classes are all going strong. My struggle is not feeling useful. I left a senior role in Pharm R&D and now have no hard problems to solve. I’m looking into volunteer opportunities- maybe that will do it.

Gratedul for your thoughts.

As mentioned, it does take some adjustment time. I try to do some things each day that provide value, to my household, to my family, to friends, etc. I like to do financial stuff, so I help people I know with their questions. My sis moved to town, so I have learned to paint and helped her to paint her new place. We don't need the money, so I can do stuff for free and not worry about it.

I have a small PT job, working for my son, and it is in a totally different field (HVAC) and so that has been interesting.

Welcome and good luck!

 

[FreeBear]

Thanks all for the words of advice. The long vacation feeling was lovely the first few months . Gardening, house projects and exercise classes are all going strong. My struggle is not feeling useful. I left a senior role in Pharm R&D and now have no hard problems to solve. I’m looking into volunteer opportunities- maybe that will do it.

Also retired from a senior R&D role. I loved the tech and w*rking with smart people, but the "shark tank" politics in a declining industry told me it was time to go. DW and I have been retired for over 3 years and no regrets.

Much to my surprise my adjustment was difficult. I endured w*rk nightmares for years; these have only recently moderated in frequency and intensity. Also a surprise both DW and I still need to feel useful. We're just not the type to sit around all the time. Over the years, we've both learned to relax and not feel guilty about play time and down time. In fact I've grown somewhat aggressive about defending my "me" time and play time.

Still, we keep busy. We've heavily involved with mentoring young adults. Building these deep relationships has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. We take much longer trips and spend more time with numerous hobbies.

I've delved quite deeply into my Christian faith, reading both texts that are considered mainstream in our church as well as strongly contrary views. I'm also learning a bit about Islam. This entire search has been one of the most intellectually and emotionally taxing endeavors, as tough or even tougher than years of grad. school in engineering. After all, I'm trying to figure out the meaning of life, at least for me!

I'm also a musician. Retirement has allowed me to take my music to a new level. I'm finding my own stylistic voice and have started writing my own songs after performing covers for decades.

Retirement has been very good to me and DW. Please be easy yourself. Some adjust quickly, we took years. I suspect most folks from an R&D background like yours are inherently curious, intelligent, easily bored, and are self starters. From experience, I know that these are great attributes for early retirees!

FB

 

[DrRoy]

Just as an example, I have had travel and photography to fill about 1/2 of my time. The other half has not been a problem. Do you have any interests that would fill your time?

 

[pompanobeach]

Thanks for all of your comments. I will be on FIRE in 39 short months. I am currently in a very high stressful state government job. I truly love my job and and entering my 31st year in it. Rose from very bottom to very top. I am a go getter. I am always battling 3 separate crisis at a time. I am trying to find comfort in succession planing. I don’t think I could sleep or even retire for that matter if I didn’t make plans for someone to take the helm. So that’s what I am doing. It helps me ease into the thought of retirement.

I will definitely need to occupy my time. I own a beautiful beach house in Pompano Beach, Florida and enjoy the beach very much. I think I will volunteer youths with helping them with life issues. I mentor a few young men now and find it very rewarding.

My mom is 92 and still makes a list everyday to accomplish at least something or she feels that the day was wasted! God Bless her.

Thanks again. Your comments really help!

PompanoBeach, Fl.

 

[Live And Learn]

This is the time to be useful to YOU and not to others. Are there any self-improvement goals that you had to put off because of w*rk ? A book that you always wanted to read, a practice that you always wanted to do but never had the time (exercise, daily walks, losing weight) ? Your job is now YOU ! Do THAT

It takes time to adjust to not having deadlines - some start procrastinating because there is always tomorrow - some makes to do lists. Figure out what works for YOU and do THAT !

Welcome to ER. 3 years in and enjoying every moment.

 

[pompanobeach]

Dear Live and Learn

Thank you! Great advice! So glad you are enjoying ER.

Pompano Beach, Fl

 

[Rianne]

DH and me think back of bright office lights, loads of e-mails, deadlines, altering our personalities to fit the corporate culture. DH situation was more stressful than mine, but we look back and think how our carefree college days were hijacked when we entered the work world some 30 years ago. We were molded into something that seems alien now.

We've gotten our younger selves back in a way. We laugh and discuss. Whatever activity we enjoy, we do. It can be a long walk one day, volunteering, swimming at the Y, binge watching TV, planning vacations. It's not always together, we have our own interests.

Get to know your young self again. Open those doors that were slammed shut when you left the carefree existence of pre work. Redefine quality time. We used to "hurry up" and do something fun before Monday hit. Now, everyday is the weekend. Enjoy.

 

[ER Eddie]

"Need to feel useful"... I'm not sure how to interpret that.

Do you mean a need to have your skills/talents put to use, to solve difficult problems, like you did in your career?

Or do you mean it more broadly, as in a need to feel a sense of meaning and purpose in your life? Something besides just personal leisure, self-care, hobbies, etc?

Those two questions would involve different strategies, I think. Both of them seem like important questions to me, worthwhile things to be asking yourself.

Those are difficult questions to answer, especially the second, which has so much to do with your own value system, what brings meaning to you, what makes life feel worthwhile.

From what I've read and experienced, an adjustment period of 1 to 3 years to answer these deeper questions is not unusual.

I've found that "experimentation" is a helpful mindset. That is, give yourself a period of a couple years in which you experiment with various lifestyle choices and changes. See what fits you. Try this, try that. See how it makes you feel. If it doesn't work, drop it and try something else.

You are essentially designing a new life for yourself, and it will take time.

 

[Pellice]

DH and me think back of bright office lights, loads of e-mails, deadlines, altering our personalities to fit the corporate culture. DH situation was more stressful than mine, but we look back and think how our carefree college days were hijacked when we entered the work world some 30 years ago. We were molded into something that seems alien now.

We've gotten our younger selves back in a way. We laugh and discuss. Whatever activity we enjoy, we do. It can be a long walk one day, volunteering, swimming at the Y, binge watching TV, planning vacations. It's not always together, we have our own interests.

Get to know your young self again. Open those doors that were slammed shut when you left the carefree existence of pre work. Redefine quality time. We used to "hurry up" and do something fun before Monday hit. Now, everyday is the weekend. Enjoy.

I'm a month into financial independence. Similarly to your experience, I was surprised to suddenly feel younger, to feel that I had time ahead of me.

Unlike many here on the forums, I was not in a senior position. I was a worker bee, and so I have moved from a feeling of powerlessness to one of power. I had a lot of anxiety about making mistakes; now I don't. I moved from a sense of phoniness - of going through the motions to do things to input data, as an example, that I knew would never be used and was simply there to check a box - to a sense of greater genuineness.

I can focus on things I truly believe are important. All those articles that say that we lose a sense of purpose when we stop working - who is writing those? I have gained a purpose now that I am financially independent. And talking to my peers in similar job positions - everyone is uniformly ecstatic now that we don't have to be a peg.

It makes me think that most people are pretty easily able to handle not working and still having enough money. All these Puritan admonitions that we need to be WORKING or else we will become moral failures, exemplars of the Seven Deadly Sins - the Puritans were wrong. Bring on a smaller population, robot laborers, and guaranteed incomes - we can handle it!

 

[Bir48die]

Here's the deal.....You've recently retired and it just happens to be summer. So, first think of this as a really long vacation. One you haven't ever taken before because taking more than one week would freak out all your co-workers.

Then, think of a few projects that you have put off because you could only do them on weekends and you didn't want to spend your weekends doing projects.

Don't set your alarm and let mornings happen naturally. Enjoy a new routine.

Do a few mid-week trips but don't do a huge tourist trip. Let the summer play out and watch the masses flock to all the popular places. When it becomes the week after school starts, go for it and enjoy the late summer/early fall slower speed at the resorts.

Lastly, make a list of things you want to do. Could be personal enrichment (i.e. reading or education) and look at your skills/gifts and see if there is something you want to volunteer for. DO NOT VOLUNTEER FOR THE FIRST SIX MONTHS OF RETIREMENT. People want to jump back into the rat race in another form. Be patient.

It is a process to wind down and you have to get over feelings of worthlessness because you're not being "productive" in the wo*k definition. Just revel in the fact that you were successful enough to be able to RE and pat yourself on the back.