Recently started new job and an issue developed. Need some advice

[joecaf53]

After being out of work for awhile, I found employment 2 months ago. It isn't the pay I am looking for, but it is close to home and the work isn't too bad.

Here is my problem: The company is in manufacturing and the office is very small with 7 full time and 2 part time made up of 5 men and 4 women.
One of the women has been here 13 years and during the interview the manager said that she may think that my hiring may mean they would get rid of her. (They won't) Everything was going smoooth and I found the people very friendly, but at times I felt this woman who I was also receiving training from in addition to my manager could be very impatient if I didn't seem to understand something.

About a week ago, she made a comment I didn't appreciate and I let her know it, and the whole office heard it. My manager sided with me and said that there have been some issues with her. Now she totally ignores me and the receptionist who is her friend is also ignoring me. Before I would joke around, now I am more reserved.

I feel like this is so immature, like being back in high school and these women are in their forties. I even aplogized and she would not accept it. It makes coming to work a little stressful. My manager has come up to me twice in the past week to let me know he is working on it. I even suggested to him that we should all sit down to hash it out, but he said he will think about it. She is going on vacation the July 4th week, so I don't know if anything wll be done after she gets back.

I am at the point of thinking of looking again, but there is not much out there. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Joe

[pb4uski]

Do you think your manager is sincere about siding with you and having your back? It sounds like he is but make sure he isn't playing you.

Office politics is hard in small offices. Just hope that she comes back from her vacation in a better mood.

[Sarah in SC]

I'd say the best thing you can do is let sleeping dogs lie. Just work around her when she comes back, be polite and reserved, and give it time.
I'd still probably be looking for a better job, just in case, but sometimes in small offices these are the things that drive you crazy. Having worked my whole life in such places, sometimes you just have people you avoid. I called a girl out on something she said to me at a prior workplace, and she never forgot it. We were civil, but I could tell every time she looked at me, she remembered that I'd confronted her (albeit in private).

But I let it lie, and worked around it, and stayed there for a few more years.

[Bestwifeever]

It's only been two months so you're still the new guy. I would keep my head down and stay very quiet but smile a lot and be friendly and helpful to everyone until this blows over, and even after that. Dynamics are different in small businesses.

[joecaf53]

he seems sincere. When he spoke to me, he mentioned that she feels like nobody respects her, and she has talked about other people, but I see her getting along with others. I don't need this drama at this point in my life.

[pb4uski]

probably best to just keep going in, do your work, be polite, keep your head down and let it pass or wait for the manager to get sick of the drama and sack her

[Sarah in SC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb4uski probably best to just keep going in, do your work, be polite, keep your head down and let it pass or wait for the manager to get sick of the drama and sack her

Yeah, probably don't hold your breath for her to get canned. Esp in a small office, the worst people can keep their jobs, just because it is easier to keep them than to go through all the trouble of firing them and replacing them.

And do your best to convince your boss this is really no big deal, and you are happy to do whatever you can to make his job easier.
Nothing good can come from talking about it more.

[Bestwifeever]

(Is there an echo in here?)

If anyone is going to get canned for any reason, it will more likely be the new person vs. the one they've known for 13 years whether or not the senior person is at fault, Joe. Keep smiling and keep looking.

[easysurfer]

Joe,

Hope this situation at the new j*b gets sorted out.

That said, selfishly, those silly type of events at the office reminds me of why I'm so happy that I've FIRE'd.

[Midpack]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joecaf53 About a week ago, she made a comment I didn't appreciate and I let her know it, and the whole office heard it. My manager sided with me and said that there have been some issues with her. Now she totally ignores me and the receptionist who is her friend is also ignoring me. Before I would joke around, now I am more reserved. I feel like this is so immature, like being back in high school and these women are in their forties. I even aplogized and she would not accept it. It makes coming to work a little stressful. My manager has come up to me twice in the past week to let me know he is working on it. I even suggested to him that we should all sit down to hash it out, but he said he will think about it. She is going on vacation the July 4th week, so I don't know if anything wll be done after she gets back. I am at the point of thinking of looking again, but there is not much out there.

Red flags abound, but my comments wouldn't be helpful...high school indeed for all parties concerned? And I'd bet her version is a little different.

[Amethyst]

Advice from someone who's made the same mistake in her day, and then learned to play the game a little smarter:

New people are presumed to have no ego. In a small office - even a bigger one - you would have come off better by quietly suffering her dumb comment. Everyone would sympathize with you and probably tell you later on "Don't worry about Betsy, that's just what she's like." So next time, if somebody says something outrageously insulting to you, say, "Ouch! Good heavens, was it something I said?" and the others will laugh and like you better for it.

Good luck,

Amethyst

Quote:

Originally Posted by joecaf53 After being out of work for awhile, I found employment 2 months ago. It isn't the pay I am looking for, but it is close to home and the work isn't too bad. Here is my problem: The company is in manufacturing and the office is very small with 7 full time and 2 part time made up of 5 men and 4 women. One of the women has been here 13 years and during the interview the manager said that she may think that my hiring may mean they would get rid of her. (They won't) Everything was going smoooth and I found the people very friendly, but at times I felt this woman who I was also receiving training from in addition to my manager could be very impatient if I didn't seem to understand something. About a week ago, she made a comment I didn't appreciate and I let her know it, and the whole office heard it. My manager sided with me and said that there have been some issues with her. Now she totally ignores me and the receptionist who is her friend is also ignoring me. Before I would joke around, now I am more reserved. I feel like this is so immature, like being back in high school and these women are in their forties. I even aplogized and she would not accept it. It makes coming to work a little stressful. My manager has come up to me twice in the past week to let me know he is working on it. I even suggested to him that we should all sit down to hash it out, but he said he will think about it. She is going on vacation the July 4th week, so I don't know if anything wll be done after she gets back. I am at the point of thinking of looking again, but there is not much out there. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Joe

[obgyn65]

My advice also.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC I'd say the best thing you can do is let sleeping dogs lie. Just work around her when she comes back, be polite and reserved, and give it time.