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Old 10-15-2015, 03:21 PM   #21
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Have lived in Portland great place but income taxes are high. Might consider Vancouver WA area. It's part of the Portland metro but no income tax. Further south has better weather people love Ashland, for example. You might want to try VRBO to rent a place for a couple of weeks and check out different areas.


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Old 10-15-2015, 04:13 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort View Post
There is a book I'm reading now about kids from affluent neighborhoods called The Price of Privilege. I wish I would have read it when our kids were younger. I would have moved to a less competitive neighborhood with less Type A familes, less consumption and less overscheduled kids. Also What Happy People Know is another good book about money versus happiness, especially in affluent households as it is written by a director of The Canyon Ranch.

You have enough money to not have to worry about money. If I were in your place I would live where you think you will be happiest and your kids will be happy and learn the best life values. Happiness studies show it tends to feel good to live some place where you can be the Joneses instead of trying to keep up with them. Except for hedge fund manager neighborhoods you would probably be the Joneses most other places you would choose to live.

Added -

Stop Acting Rich is another good book you might find helpful to read. This is the Amazon description -

"It all starts with where you live. Live in a prestige neighborhood and you will spend more on everything from your car to your watch. Real millionaires understand that living in communities where their neighbors have less net worth than they do naturally leads to spending less. It's easier to be rich when keeping up with the Joneses hardly costs anything. Life satisfaction comes not from cruising down the highway in a chunk of your net worth, but from having the financial resources to choose - to spend time with family and friends, to volunteer, to pursue interests."
Hi StuckinCT, we are the same age with a similar net worth so I can relate. Something clicked for me a few years ago as I was amassing some wealth, the money I was making was not translating into additional happiness. I started questioning what was really important to us and came to the conclusion that the high-end lifestyle wasn't right for our family. It just didn't fit with our core values. I was lucky enough to have several very high earning years so the spending habits hadn't had time to take hold. It's a slow progression that happens over many years of higher and higher earnings.

It might be helpful to breakdown what is really important and what really matters to you and your family. I'm reading a lot of justifications for your current lifestyle. Try to look at your lifestyle objectively, you might be surprised at what you find. Lifestyle habits are tough to break but I'm just sensing that you are already in the questioning phase...?

I think daylate has some great suggested reading. I'd suggest you check out Mr. Money Mustache Early Retirement through Badassity as well. You might not be willing to retire on 25k per year like MMM but there are some very thought provoking articles about going against the spending=more happiness trap that many of us get ourselves into.

One point you brought up is the "quality" of education, swim programs and school rankings as a reason to stay. To be blunt, this is just nonsense. Your kids might develop connections that would help them climb the corporate ladder later in life but I doubt any of that will make them more grounded or happier as adults. Time with your kids is probably the best education you can give them. It allows you to emphasis what is most important in life.
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Old 10-15-2015, 04:15 PM   #23
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I have been living in Portland for more 30 years. All my family love Portland. But it rains a lot, please don't come :-)
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Old 10-15-2015, 04:20 PM   #24
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Day late, I just saw your earlier post and I'll have to pick up that book. It's funny, because I chose this part of Farfield county thinking it was not on the Gold Coast, so less ultra high net worth density here, but it is still stratospheric wealth. The top 1% here means $900k in income. Many of our friends are Harvard grads, and our dinner group is mostly Iveys except the wife and I. They don't know how to dial it down in many cases and they are aware of it. I could go on about this but you get the idea.

Catman, I also thought about living in Washington state just over the border but the schools go down in quality; Bellevue Redmond area they are excellent. My wife went to college in Ashland and my Aunt lives there but I think it may be too isolated there. Bend is another consideration but then I am back in with the California crew which is probably a lot like Fairfield County.

Papa dad, In Oregon I think I have narrowed it down to Beaverton, West Linn and Lake Oswego. You mentioned being inside the growth boundary in the Portland area for schools? Does that include Lake O and West Linn? I am not too excited about the taxes but I would still pay less overall than in CT.
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Old 10-15-2015, 04:44 PM   #25
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Day late, I just saw your earlier post and I'll have to pick up that book. It's funny, because I chose this part of Farfield county thinking it was not on the Gold Coast, so less ultra high net worth density here, but it is still stratospheric wealth. The top 1% here means $900k in income. Many of our friends are Harvard grads, and our dinner group is mostly Iveys except the wife and I. They don't know how to dial it down in many cases and they are aware of it. I could go on about this but you get the idea.
A lightbulb moment for me was flipping through a magazine profiling California venture capital firms where some of the partners were worth billions and yet lived in stress and fear of not getting in on the next Google or Facebook deal. The only partner who had slowed down the hours somewhat was seriously ill.

I thought what idiots to keep working such stressful jobs, literally live in fear and not enjoy their money when they had so much, and then I realized that we were someone else's idiots - just much lower down the net worth scale.
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Old 10-15-2015, 05:20 PM   #26
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I relate to a lot of your concerns as well as we are close in age and have three young kids at home. Education and child development are paramount to us and we have a comfortable net worth as well. I am reaching a lot of the same conclusions you are and are also thinking through the location questions. I have thought about Portland, etc. Many people disqualify California instinctively assuming sky high taxes and real estate--which is true to an extent. However, if you are retired, CA taxes are somewhat more reasonable as property taxes are certainly substantially lower than what you are paying in CT.

We have been intrigued by Northern San Diego County. The preliminary research we are doing suggests it is a very family friendly area with very good schools (arguably better than Portland? I'm not sure and would be curious about people's opinions) and the real estate, while certainly very expensive by the standards of many people would look reasonable to you. If you paid $1.7m for a house in CT and are wiling to spend $900k in Portland then you should be able to get a reasonable family home in Northern SD for somewhere around $900k or perhaps a little bit more. Obviously the weather is great and, so are, the year round outdoors activities and sports for the kids.
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Old 10-15-2015, 05:54 PM   #27
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2015maybethyear, yes, SoCal has been on our radar but for the mean time due to concerns on the real estate market topping we have taken it off the list. They have top notch swimming programs and the schools are excellent, but in Ventura county they are overcrowded from what I hear. People in Orange County say it's not all glitz, but we want space and that's hard to come by unless you are willing to drop several bills. I should check into San Diego. I have extended family there and assumed it would mean two or three bills to get anything with space and a yard. So Cal just gets spendy, realize not everyone is like that but for our needs it would be hard to avoid.
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Old 10-15-2015, 06:00 PM   #28
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I was born and raised in Vermont and have lived here my entire life (so far!) other than college and some years as a young family when we lived in the Boston area. DD currently lives in Burlington and we have many friends there from when I lived and worked there 35 years ago.

Vermont is a wonderful place to live and raise kids. There are lots of things to do if you're flexible and lots of outdoor activities with the lake and the mountains right there. When I worked in Burlington I could leave the office at noon on a Saturday and be on the ski lift in an hour.

I recall when I was first moving to Burlington driving on Main Street near UVM on a beautiful day.. and looking down Main Street and seeing the city and street lights and then beyond that Lake Champlain and then beyond that the Adirondack Mountains in New York.... incredible.

You can live like a king on your wealth in Burlington (or for that matter, just about anywhere else other than the tri-state area or California metro areas).

Have you tried Find Your Spot?
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Old 10-15-2015, 06:37 PM   #29
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Yes, if you want to live in a beach community or glitzy town in San Diego (i.e. La Jolla, Del Mar, Rancho Santa Fe) it will probably be 2m+ for a family home. However, there are lots of communities of upper middle class, highly educated professionals raising children in good school districts -- especially in North San Diego County (think Carmel Valley, Carlsbad, Encinitas, Poway, etc) where I believe you can buy a family home for probably just under a million. I just checked and I can see 4k sqft homes in Carlsbad for instance for just over a million.

As you probably know, generally homes and yards in SoCal are smaller than the Northeast -- in part because of the cost of the land and also, given the weather, people aren't spending as much time indoors.

My guess is that there are communities in Orange County that potentially have similar prices (Fullerton, etc.) rather than the glitzy areas such as Newport Beach or Laguna Beach that would be $2m+.

I think you'll find doctors, engineers, professors, and other hard working professionals in these communities rather than the business owners, financiers, real estate developers, etc in the glitzy towns.

As far as the real estate market, I'm curious why the frothy real estate market would concern you? Now is probably not the time to buying a more expensive home. But if you are downsizing real estate by selling a more expensive home and buying a cheaper home aren't you generally taking less exposure to real estate? I guess Southern CA has appreciated quite a bit but I would think the tri-state area should be no slouch either? Part of the geographical differences also reflect long-term trends as well...e.g. continual migration out of northeast to west, wealthy baby boomers buying in places they want to retire and foreigners buying in certain areas, etc.
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Old 10-15-2015, 08:25 PM   #30
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StuckinCT -

Free advice, so worth your admission fee to the board, but here's a few thoughts:

Like you, I'm 44 and have a couple of kids who are jobs #1 and #2 in my life. My net worth isn't yours, but we're comfortable by any definition.

Some years back, I moved across the country to take one of those high stress/high pay jobs and my wife and I found ourselves choosing a neighborhood. We faced down the trade-offs about lifestyle, neighbors, cost of everything and what we wanted for our kids. My conclusion:

So much of our sense of contentment as adults is about outcomes vs. expectations that were set in our youth.

I grew up without a lot (but enough). The only time I spent at a country club was the 7 years I worked at one. I had a job of some sort nearly everyday since I was 13. My first car was such a piece of crap that I tied an old boom box to the head rests with twine to have music ("you might be a red neck if..."). I borrowed to go to college and worked my tail off to pay it off. I never expected to make much money but wanted to achieve stability for my family and (thankfully) was able to achieve that.

I'm a very contented person because compared to what I was trained to expect in my youth, I'm doing great. I'm confident because I've handled most things on my own (with my spouse). I've never relied on OPM to make my lifestyle work.

When my income/assets went beyond "stable" and into "choices" we had to stare down our priorities.

One thing that occurred to me was whether I was setting up my kids for a life of contentment if I set their expectations (cars, clubs, etc.) such that they would need a top 5% income to support the lifestyle? Would they feel like failures if they were "only" top 10 percent and couldn't afford the lifestyle I could? Would they drive themselves into debt faking a higher lifestyle? One daughter wants to be a chef -- am I setting her up for misery if I train her that she needs to make big corporate bucks and belong to a country club so that she's not "going backwards?"

Though we could easily belong to the country club and my wife could buy a Mercedes, we decided that we wanted to establish life expectations for our kids that didn't box them into a consumption mindset.

As a result, we live hugely below our means. We live in a nice, but modest home in a stable community with good schools. Our kids have friends who are "rich" (lifestyle) and friends who live more modestly than we do. My kids earn their own spending money and are genuinely surprised if I pass them a $20 and tell them a movie with their friends is on me. (Actually, they usually turn the $20 down because they're proud they have their own money). Yes, they have iDevices but rarely new ones. Their first cars won't involve twine and bad brakes, but it will also not be the new cars some kids in the community get. (How can you ever feel good buying a used car if literally the first thing you drive is a brand new, $25k car? What does it take to give you that sense that "you made it"?). No Uggs in our house, they get Bear Paws for 1/2 the price. They know where everything is at Target. They're know beyond a doubt that we don't keep up with the Joneses and that's OK.

I relish taking them on big, life experience trips that we couldn't when I was young -- we've hiked in Yellowstone, swam under the Napali cliffs and watched the stars among the giant sequoias. When we do those things or splurge on something nice we talk A LOT about priorities, making choices to save for a vacation, etc. They know that we value shared experiences more than stuff and you have to know your priorities.

They will have it easier than I did, but they WILL NOT think you need a BMW and a country club membership to be a success. I want them to be no less contented and no less confident in their abilities than I am.

I don't have life figured out, but I would encourage you to invert your thinking for a minute:

Instead of thinking about what you want your kids to have, think about who you want them to be...and what consumption expectations they need to live up to in order to not feel like a failure? If one of your kids is a 40 year old teacher making $80k a year and driving an old Honda, will he/she feel content? Who's all the stuff really for?

You never really know how your kids turn out until they are adults, but as my daughter has gotten older she's started to figure out that we're comfortable. That said, when she came home and wanted to do a $3k exchange program, we told her she owed us $1k of it. She didn't flinch. Got a summer job and saved every $ from 1 to $1000. Didn't spent a cent on anything until it was paid...and she's really proud of it. She knows her priorities, she's confident in her ability to earn her own way. I hope she'll keep her priorities and be content.

My $0.02. Hope it's helpful.
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Old 10-15-2015, 08:37 PM   #31
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Pb4uski, great to hear some more positive experiences growing up in VT. I think I am basically a New Englander at heart and I always think of my grandmother and her cape in West Hartford growing up.

2015Maybeth, my aunt lives in La Jolla as well as my second cousins and they are definitely jet setters. I also have a second cousin in the Palisades, and more aunts and cousins in the Hillsborough area outside San Fran. I am trying to steer clear of that lifestyle, mainly because I can't afford it! I realize not everyone is like that there. I looked at a town south of Laguna and it is darn nice there, but I am not really the beach type. I agree you don't need a large home, but you are on a postage stamp. There are a lot parks etc too. Also, the real estate market in my neck of the woods has never fully recovered, I would have hoped my home would have appreciated in 5 years but I am down $100k. Wallstreet is shrinking, and General Electric and GE Capital as well as IBM are big employers here, GE is selling off the finance arm and people on Wallstreet are staying in Greenwich, Darien New Canaan for the most part these days. So selling low and buying high in CA or other hot market is a big concern.
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Old 10-15-2015, 08:58 PM   #32
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Kotoole, you literally hit the nail on the head of what my BIG concern is, setting my kids up for disappointment. I grew up on the Gold Coast in CT in Darien and while I have been fortunate, I am the exception. I can tell you of numerous failures along the lines of what you described. I believe success is a personal thing but it has to do with being fulfilled, living up to your potential and doing what you enjoy. I think there are a lot of wealthy people around here who may be failures in some senses, only they know for sure. This town we live in is dialed down considerably from the surrounding towns, but as we have settled in its hard not to be concerned when your kids think having a full time nanny is normal and many birthday parties and club parties are a magical event with horse drawn carriages like this past weeks Halloween festival. Luckily, we do have a smattering of normalcy here and it is accepted, ie the basement camping party with homemade tents. We are on the border of what's normal but interestingly, it attracts some of the super affluent who grew up like you did who don't want the Greenwich hoopla. It's like we're the town where people like to pretend their not wealthy living in an expanded colonial, yet they have a vacation home on Nantucket.
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:21 PM   #33
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Hi and thanks for reading. First off, this is a great site, and I am looking forward to exploring it further. The forum guidelines say to give as much info as possible on the intro so here goes. I am 44, wife is 34 and we have three healthy beautiful kids ages 6, 4 and 2. We are very family oriented and education and child development is everything to us. We live in a suburb of southwestern CT near NYC and the real estate market has never recovered. We paid 1.7mm for our house in 2010 and we would be lucky to get 1.6 now, netting 1.5 after commission fees. We have great schools but everyone does the commute and has a high stress high expense lifestyle, country clubs, au pairs, etc. we belong to a club too and we would not get our 70k initiation back if we moved. In two years, our 5/1 arm is set to float on our $1mm mortgage. We have $6,950,000 in stocks and bonds, 80% stock 20% bonds with real estate, international, small cap mid cap but primarily large cap dividend stocks. Our portfolio yield is 3.3% or $225,000. We also have $1.1mm saved for our kids college so with 125 k cars and personal assets, our net worth is 8.7 to 8.8mm. What I like about CT are the schools and programs, our high school ranked 330 in the country by U.S. News and we have one of the top swimming programs which has produced Olympic quality swimmers. Our real estate taxes are 32k and we live a comfortable life in CT w 22k for vacations, 3 cars, country club etc on 21k per month. I am at a point where I am sort of burned out on the grind and already working limited hours but the pace and the expenses still go on. I don't want to take a huge hit on the house and eat my country club initiation only 4 years ago, but I am beginning to think seriously of taking a loss on the house and moving to Fort Collins or Portland Oregon area. My wife's family is from Eugene and Portland has good schools but some of the suburbs are expensive there too and the weather stinks in the winter. I am thinking of a $900 k house. I am also thinking about Portland Maine and Burlington VT area but the winters here are so brutal and my wife is not a skier. It's a real dilemma but a good problem to have. Any suggestions appreciated. I also plan to work part time or even start a business to stay busy and meet people as well as earn some extra money. Thanks again for your thoughts.
Just move and rent somewhere and test drive the area. You have the cash.

If you truly have close to $9mm you can afford to move several times before your kids are older and it becomes more difficult for them.

I would check out Park City Utah.
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:26 PM   #34
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Kotoole, you literally hit the nail on the head of what my BIG concern is, setting my kids up for disappointment. I grew up on the Gold Coast in CT in Darien and while I have been fortunate, I am the exception. I can tell you of numerous failures along the lines of what you described. I believe success is a personal thing but it has to do with being fulfilled, living up to your potential and doing what you enjoy. I think there are a lot of wealthy people around here who may be failures in some senses, only they know for sure. This town we live in is dialed down considerably from the surrounding towns, but as we have settled in its hard not to be concerned when your kids think having a full time nanny is normal and many birthday parties and club parties are a magical event with horse drawn carriages like this past weeks Halloween festival. Luckily, we do have a smattering of normalcy here and it is accepted, ie the basement camping party with homemade tents. We are on the border of what's normal but interestingly, it attracts some of the super affluent who grew up like you did who don't want the Greenwich hoopla. It's like we're the town where people like to pretend their not wealthy living in an expanded colonial, yet they have a vacation home on Nantucket.
Yep...at one level it's all relative. If you have a Nanny and I don't, I'm really roughing it. All the more reason to get the **** away from the Nanny and Country Club set. If the kids start thinking that because they have to use used Pings you're an evil parent, you're screwed!

At another, I try to consider absolutes as in "what is the absolute amount of money you need to earn to maintain my lifestyle? Is that an amount of money I think it's reasonable to expect my kids will earn?" If not, reduce lifestyle. Repeat.

Suggestion if you keep the club: the best teen aged member of the club I worked at was a kid who's Dad made him caddy at another club for every time he wanted to use the club I worked at. He was uniformly polite and NEVER asked us to do something for him. He was so kind that even though we were working kids the same age as him, after a couple years we actually would offer to carry his bag when he played with his Dad. He'd be embarrassed the entire time. Great kid.

Other suggestion: dump the club.
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Old 10-16-2015, 11:31 AM   #35
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Also, the real estate market in my neck of the woods has never fully recovered, I would have hoped my home would have appreciated in 5 years but I am down $100k.
My personal feeling is that with $7MM in invested assets and a $1.5MM take-away from a house, another $1MM socked away for college, that taking a $100K bath on the house would be a small price to pay for getting out from under all the negatives you describe.

I'm sure hoping that is not a significant item in the decision making process, but you've mentioned it more than once.

If I'm reading it correctly, your NW is something like $8-$9MM and, respectfully, outside of a lack of imagination--or fear of jumping--, I'm trying to see what the problem is here.
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Old 10-16-2015, 12:00 PM   #36
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Yep...at one level it's all relative. If you have a Nanny and I don't, I'm really roughing it. All the more reason to get the **** away from the Nanny and Country Club set. If the kids start thinking that because they have to use used Pings you're an evil parent, you're screwed!
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Old 10-16-2015, 01:28 PM   #37
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As others have mentioned lifestyle creep can come with consequences that aren't financial. That said - kids education is important. But it's possible to provide top education and emphasize family core values without spending as much.

My older son just started at the #149 US News ranked school this year. It's a public school that draws from inner city urban, as well as some suburbs. Because it's a magnet school that has more applicants than spots, we worked the system to get the boys into the feeder middle school. There's the opportunity for keeping up with the Jones' at this school - some wealthy families are there... but there's also some pretty poor families... We try to find the balance and teach the kids to be thankful for the opportunities they have.

I retired a little more than a year ago - for me, it was more important to be THERE for the kids, involved, etc. Vs spending time in an awful commute so that we could afford to keep up with the Jones. I figure I'm teaching them some lessons on real word budget concerns and to avoid a sense of materialistic entitlement.

By buying into the lifestyle creep and the keeping up with the Jones, when will the kids be taught/exposed to a 99% lifestyle. They need to be prepared to operate in the lworld the non-1%ers live in since that is where they will likely work/live when they reach adulthood. By living a more "normal" life, it won't come as a shock.
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Old 10-16-2015, 06:13 PM   #38
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StuckinCT -

Free advice, so worth your admission fee to the board, but here's a few thoughts:

Like you, I'm 44 and have a couple of kids who are jobs #1 and #2 in my life. My net worth isn't yours, but we're comfortable by any definition.

Some years back, I moved across the country to take one of those high stress/high pay jobs and my wife and I found ourselves choosing a neighborhood. We faced down the trade-offs about lifestyle, neighbors, cost of everything and what we wanted for our kids. My conclusion:

So much of our sense of contentment as adults is about outcomes vs. expectations that were set in our youth.

I grew up without a lot (but enough). The only time I spent at a country club was the 7 years I worked at one. I had a job of some sort nearly everyday since I was 13. My first car was such a piece of crap that I tied an old boom box to the head rests with twine to have music ("you might be a red neck if..."). I borrowed to go to college and worked my tail off to pay it off. I never expected to make much money but wanted to achieve stability for my family and (thankfully) was able to achieve that.

I'm a very contented person because compared to what I was trained to expect in my youth, I'm doing great. I'm confident because I've handled most things on my own (with my spouse). I've never relied on OPM to make my lifestyle work.

When my income/assets went beyond "stable" and into "choices" we had to stare down our priorities.

One thing that occurred to me was whether I was setting up my kids for a life of contentment if I set their expectations (cars, clubs, etc.) such that they would need a top 5% income to support the lifestyle? Would they feel like failures if they were "only" top 10 percent and couldn't afford the lifestyle I could? Would they drive themselves into debt faking a higher lifestyle? One daughter wants to be a chef -- am I setting her up for misery if I train her that she needs to make big corporate bucks and belong to a country club so that she's not "going backwards?"

Though we could easily belong to the country club and my wife could buy a Mercedes, we decided that we wanted to establish life expectations for our kids that didn't box them into a consumption mindset.

As a result, we live hugely below our means. We live in a nice, but modest home in a stable community with good schools. Our kids have friends who are "rich" (lifestyle) and friends who live more modestly than we do. My kids earn their own spending money and are genuinely surprised if I pass them a $20 and tell them a movie with their friends is on me. (Actually, they usually turn the $20 down because they're proud they have their own money). Yes, they have iDevices but rarely new ones. Their first cars won't involve twine and bad brakes, but it will also not be the new cars some kids in the community get. (How can you ever feel good buying a used car if literally the first thing you drive is a brand new, $25k car? What does it take to give you that sense that "you made it"?). No Uggs in our house, they get Bear Paws for 1/2 the price. They know where everything is at Target. They're know beyond a doubt that we don't keep up with the Joneses and that's OK.

I relish taking them on big, life experience trips that we couldn't when I was young -- we've hiked in Yellowstone, swam under the Napali cliffs and watched the stars among the giant sequoias. When we do those things or splurge on something nice we talk A LOT about priorities, making choices to save for a vacation, etc. They know that we value shared experiences more than stuff and you have to know your priorities.

They will have it easier than I did, but they WILL NOT think you need a BMW and a country club membership to be a success. I want them to be no less contented and no less confident in their abilities than I am.

I don't have life figured out, but I would encourage you to invert your thinking for a minute:

Instead of thinking about what you want your kids to have, think about who you want them to be...and what consumption expectations they need to live up to in order to not feel like a failure? If one of your kids is a 40 year old teacher making $80k a year and driving an old Honda, will he/she feel content? Who's all the stuff really for?

You never really know how your kids turn out until they are adults, but as my daughter has gotten older she's started to figure out that we're comfortable. That said, when she came home and wanted to do a $3k exchange program, we told her she owed us $1k of it. She didn't flinch. Got a summer job and saved every $ from 1 to $1000. Didn't spent a cent on anything until it was paid...and she's really proud of it. She knows her priorities, she's confident in her ability to earn her own way. I hope she'll keep her priorities and be content.

My $0.02. Hope it's helpful.
Excellent post.


As a relatively well-off parent, the struggle is to balance giving to your kids things and experiences without taking away their drive or incentive in life or allowing them to think things equate to worth or happiness. No doubt a keeping up with the Jones' lifestyle is not for us, even if we can afford it more than those that do it. I buy what I want, because I want it, not because of what someone else has or thinks of it.

But, I think values you instill in your kids supersede these material issues. I am not advocating you keep the club and lifestyle, but consider growing up "middle class" doesn't guarantee anything either. In other words, your lifestyle isn't this main issue IMHO. Your involvement in their lives and instilling character is. There is no sin in enjoying some of the finer things in life. Only you can decide what that means for you and your family.

The key is, regardless of lifestyle, you don't allow yourself or yours kids to buy into the myth that it makes you better. Stay humble and grounded - that is where it's at. It seems to me this point is lost on lots of people.
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Old 10-16-2015, 09:23 PM   #39
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Just move and rent somewhere and test drive the area. You have the cash.

If you truly have close to $9mm you can afford to move several times before your kids are older and it becomes more difficult for them.

I would check out Park City Utah.
Great suggestion, I love Alta and Park city, but never crossed my mind as far as living there. I'll check it out. Also, the kids ages are another motivating factor, it would be great to be settled in by the time our oldest starts first grade.
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Old 10-16-2015, 09:32 PM   #40
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Yep...at one level it's all relative. If you have a Nanny and I don't, I'm really roughing it. All the more reason to get the **** away from the Nanny and Country Club set. If the kids start thinking that because they have to use used Pings you're an evil parent, you're screwed!

At another, I try to consider absolutes as in "what is the absolute amount of money you need to earn to maintain my lifestyle? Is that an amount of money I think it's reasonable to expect my kids will earn?" If not, reduce lifestyle. Repeat.

Suggestion if you keep the club: the best teen aged member of the club I worked at was a kid who's Dad made him caddy at another club for every time he wanted to use the club I worked at. He was uniformly polite and NEVER asked us to do something for him. He was so kind that even though we were working kids the same age as him, after a couple years we actually would offer to carry his bag when he played with his Dad. He'd be embarrassed the entire time. Great kid.

Other suggestion: dump the club.

So true on so many levels. My daughter at 5 has already figured out the pro shop and our member number for post clinic lunches and snacks. One thing I like about our club is that the children of members are allowed to caddie, which has a dual purpose. It's a slippery slope.
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