Retired and Feeling Guilty

[TrophyWife]

Still adjusting....sons are 23, 24. One at home working full time. Husband retired with a pension and after 3 weeks started a second career. Im 51, don't need to work and travel with my husband when he travels. I'm type A, always had a full schedule and now trying to adapt to retirement.

I worked part time after my sons graduated from high school but now it doesn't make sense. I've blogged for many years so I'm kind of over thatand I haven't discovered what else I want to do. We travel for his work a lot so volunteer work isn't really an option.

I'm here to figure it out.

 

[Big_Hitter]

Congrats!

 

[Walt34]

Welcome to the forum!

Adjusting to retirement can take a while for lots of people, but you'll figure it out eventually.

 

[target2019]

I think you are prime candidate for family financial juggernaut and planner.

FIL says about his spouse, "She can squeeze a dime and make a quarter."

 

[Sarah in SC]

Welcome to the forum!

Adjusting to retirement can take a while for lots of people, but you'll figure it out eventually.

This I agree with completely. You just have to feel out different sorts of things to do with your time. And don't rule out volunteering. There's a lot of stuff that you can do that have specific needs, not necessarily ongoing, that can be worked around your travel.

For instance, although I'm still working, I've started on classes/training for the American Red Cross. I plan to do deployments as my schedule permits, in planning/logistics, and also government liaison work. The deployments are 2 weeks at a time, and you can put in your availability however you see fit. It is interesting stuff, and I think I really like the folks I've trained with so far.

Don't feel guilty, just take your time and figure out what you want to do. And congrats, and welcome!

 

[pb4uski]

...We travel for his work a lot so volunteer work isn't really an option. ...

Not in my experience... most charities are more than willing to work with your schedule... after all, you are giving them free help.

 

[Options]

Still adjusting....sons are 23, 24. One at home working full time. Husband retired with a pension and after 3 weeks started a second career. Im 51, don't need to work and travel with my husband when he travels. I'm type A, always had a full schedule and now trying to adapt to retirement.

I worked part time after my sons graduated from high school but now it doesn't make sense. I've blogged for many years so I'm kind of over that and I haven't discovered what else I want to do. We travel for his work a lot so volunteer work isn't really an option.

I'm here to figure it out.

When you're a type A who has always had a full schedule, your feelings might just be a natural reaction to a schedule that has slowed down. It was for me. I found it extremely hard to give my self the time I needed to settle into a routine. In fact, for the first 15 months or so, I was as busy (and productive) as when I was working.

Later, when things began to slow down and I exercised patience with a slower schedule, what was "next" just naturally gravitated to me. What's more, I've found being a Type A always rushed and on the go is not all it's cracked up to be. The difference in my level of contentment before and after retirement is simply amazing.

 

[MichaelB]

I'm here to figure it out.

Welcome aboard, Jana.

Adjusting to retirement can take a while for lots of people, but you'll figure it out eventually.

This. Many of us were type A around here and have found life can be just as enjoyable, and fulfilling, even when you're no longer running on the hamster wheel. It does take some time.

 

[Nodak]

Welcome

 

[rodi]

Welcome Jana -

I wasn't sure if I'd get bored or feel without purpose when I retired.... I just knew I didn't like my job anymore and that we didn't require the money... So I quit.

To make sure I wouldn't get too bored - I signed up for a class at the local Jr. College... In my case it was Italian. It was fun - and I ended up taking 3 semesters of college Italian. They didn't offer the 4th semester this fall, so I'm taking an online accounting class... Online gives me total freedom of time - I can do the weekly work at ANY time during the week - even if I was travelling, I could still find the time to do the work, I'm sure.

I also rediscovered my love of reading AND my library card. Nothing better than getting so engrossed in your book that you realize a few hours have passed without you noticing.

You'll find what works for you...

 

[T-Minus]

Hello and welcome! As others have said, wrangling maximum impact out of a retirement budget is a perfect "job" for a retired type-A person. 223 remaining days to go for me...

 

[Meadbh]

Welcome to the forum. Why on earth would you feel guilty?

 

[brucethebroker]

The game of "chasing success/money/whatever" is over and you won! Congratulations! Relax and take a victory lap....or two...

 

[Golden sunsets]

How fortunate that your sons are launched, that you've won the FIRE game and you get to travel with your husband. I think you will gradually settle into a routine-perhaps some fitness each day, a course either on line or at a local community college, lunch dates with friends, a bit of volunteering, a new hobby, new adventures in cooking, a home improvement project, etc. Expect to try some endeavors and drop them. That will be par for the course. Life is good!


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[pb4uski]

....Many of us were type A around here and have found life can be just as enjoyable, and fulfilling, even when you're no longer running on the hamster wheel. It does take some time.

How true. One of the most surprising things about retirement is that during my slow periods of time, how content I can be just puttering around and not doing much of anything given how driven and goal oriented I was in my working days.

DW less so... she seems to always have to be doing something.

 

[nvestysly]

Not in my experience... most charities are more than willing to work with your schedule... after all, you are giving them free help.

I agree. DW and I travel quite a bit - sometimes gone for a week or two, sometimes gone for a month or two. The organizations we volunteer with near our home are very flexible.

In addition, we volunteer when we travel. It's surprising how many places will allow you to help for just a few hours or a day or two while you're in town.

 

[TrophyWife]

I'm over the guilt. LOL

 

[Calico]

I'm over the guilt. LOL

Congratulations on leaving the guilt behind!

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I'm over the guilt. LOL

Glad to hear it. I think guilt is one of the worst human emotions!