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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 12:40 PM   #21
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Re: Retired at 40

If my mom dies at 85, I'll be 55, I don't factor the inheritance in. I guess I never think about it, it seems so far away. I've told them to spend my inheritance, I'd rather avoid the emotional trap it might create.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 12:43 PM   #22
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Re: Retired at 40

If you feel guilty that someone could not figure out exactly when they were going to die and allocate their resources exactly to that schedule, then you're not being rational.

Some people die in debt and leave their debts for others to pay. *Some people die rich and leave their fortunes for others to spend. *And a few people even die with practically no debt and no net worth. *That's life.

When my relatives pass away, there may be some assets that will spill on to me. *But, I don't think about it. *I don't precount it. *I don't desire it. *I don't include it in my personal financial plans. *If it happens, it would be like winning a small lottery and I may make changes to my personal finances at that point and I won't feel guilty about it. *Appreciative yes, but not guilty.

Of course, chances are that when I pass on, there will be funds left over for my relatives to inherit even though I will try my best to spend it down to zero by my final hours of life.

And that's today's lesson about the circle of life.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 01:28 PM   #23
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Re: Retired at 40

When my wife died I received some monetary benefits including her IRA and some life insurance. It has taken me almost 2 years to finally move the life insurance money from one account to another. I guess you could call it survivor's guilt or just that I felt the money was dirty in some way. I now want the money to go for something usefull instead of just sitting in a low interest account. I am now making it work and have added it to some other sleeping cash to get a bit more out of it.

I will not inherit from my family as my mother is not well off and has (we hope) enough to keep her in a nursing home until it is her time to go. I will be content with that. My father wanted her taken care of and so far she is. She wants my brother and I to inherit something from the family but neither of us really needs the money and would rather she use it to make her final years more comfortable. She is a child of the Depression and spending money is painful for her. She feels like they scrimped and saved their whole life so they could live a good retirement and have something to pass along to us. It is just the way she feels about it. I will accept whatever may be left but will put it into a trust for my grandkids (if I ever have any).

The tangible assets I see everyday that belonged to my deceased wife are reminders that these things are in my house because she liked them and wanted them. My living wife understands and has accepted most of these things as just part of the house.

Guilt is not really the issue as much as saddnes for the loss of the original owner.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 01:37 PM   #24
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Re: Retired at 40

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR

The tangible assets I see everyday that belonged to my deceased wife are reminders that these things are in my house because she liked them and wanted them. My living wife understands and has accepted most of these things as just part of the house.

Guilt is not really the issue as much as saddnes for the loss of the original owner.
I am touched by your post and your wife's understanding. I never inherited any money, but we do have a variety of things that remind us of our parents and others who are gone. I have two decorative birds of my MIL. I love those birds because they remind me of her. We have a ship's clock from my FIL, a table and chairs made by my grandfather, old tools from my dad, etc. I like having the history and reminders around me.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 02:16 PM   #25
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Re: Retired at 40

Don't blame you if you don't want to but would you mind share at least a ballpark picture of your financial situation? Only reason is that a lot of ER wannabes are skeptical or even afraid of taking the plunge and sometimes looking at others that *have done it* helps us in moving one way or the other. I am also close to your age!
Again, I do understand if you rather not share.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 04:11 PM   #26
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Re: Retired at 40

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
It is just the way she feels about it.* I will accept whatever may be left but will put it into a trust for my grandkids (if I ever have any).*
I bet a lot of people are having this conversation with their parents.

It might be worth asking her to modify her will to include your kids (her grandkids) as contingent beneficiaries via a trust. That way she could leave everything to you (to make her happy) and you'd have the option to disclaim your inheritance, at which point her will would direct those funds into a trust for the grandkids.

That's what my grandfather & father did for me and it worked fine for a small amount of money. But you'll definitely want to discuss your situation with an estate/tax lawyer.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 04:28 PM   #27
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Re: Retired at 40

[Don't blame you if you don't want to *but would you mind share at least a ballpark picture of your financial situation?]

We received a settlement of approximately 2.6 Mil after attorney's fees. *400K was placed into a deferred annuity which will provide a lifetime income stream in 6 years and will provide a college fund for our kids once they reach college age. *Annuity is completely tax free as it is income received as part of a personal injury which is not taxable. *Interest rate for annuity was about 6.5% which I thought was favorable considering it is 6.5% tax free. *The remaining cash was placed into Vanguard funds split about 65% stocks 35% bonds.

Since a considerable amount of time passed (about 2 years) between the injury and the settlement, we had plenty of time to research investment options and whether we should hire a financial planner. *We decided to go the most cost efficient route as possible and manage the money ourselves putting most of the cash in low cost index funds and municipal bonds.

It wasn't easy taking the retirement plunge at such a early age but so far we have no regrets.* The multiple retirement calculators on the web certainly helped us feel more comfortable with such a long retirement phase as did Vanguard's Personal Financial Planning service which was free of charge since we invested such a large amount with them.
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Re: Retired at 40
Old 09-20-2005, 08:37 PM   #28
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Re: Retired at 40

* *I've been away for a few days and am sorry I haven't been able to contribute before this to what I believe is a very relevant thread (though I may be biased as it hits so close to home). So in no particular order I have some first hand experience with aforementioned posts.
* *"bloodmoney".
* * Thats what my Irish/Italian catholic mother called my brothers small insurance settlement upon his suicide. She wouldn't touch it and I struggled with this philosophy greatly upon my wifes death (not a suicide). A friend put it more reasonably..."life insurance is for the living..." she said. There's a great deal of wisdom in this, we'd planned for a worst case scenario and it cracked me upside the head. I get absolutely no pleasure from the benefit, other than it allows me time with my kids. I take a 75k annual loss in income by staying home, and its worth every cent. I know if it were me that had died I would hope for nothing more than to have my wife care for our kids (not daycare or the relatives). I wouldn't call myself ER'ed, but hey, at least for a coupla hours during the day I can pretend.
* *Everybody's expectation is different.
* *My inlaws are much wealthier than my side of the family. Their response was "you can't "retire" on THAT !". My mother (depression child) insisted I go back to work, "a jobs a job and hard to come by these days". I've never come clean on the $ to my side of the family 'cuz if they heard the number I think in their mind I'd be rich; to my inlaws its not enough. For me its enough to get by and care for my lovely girls and thats all that matters now.
* *Sorry for the long post...wish I could condense all I'm thinking into a sweet sound bite. PS Martha, I knew there was a reason I related to your posts.
* *
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