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Old 09-08-2015, 01:33 PM   #161
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Originally Posted by Major Tom View Post
That is neither a true nor fair characterization of this forum. Some of us do indeed seek to preserve, and even grow our investments, while thers are fine with spending them down as they age. The one goal that unites the overwhelming majority of us is that we are all seeking to live a lifestyle that is sustainable over the long term, whatever our source of income, be it from a pension, investments, Social Security, work, other sources, or any combination of these.
I stand corrected.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:43 PM   #162
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Have you considered selling your handmade items on Etsy instead of Ebay? I understand their fees are lower.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:44 PM   #163
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I am not sure of your numbers but if your outgo is $70K more a year than your total income, and this continues into the future, then the living above your current means amount is depleting your net worth by $70K a year. If your total net worth is $500K all assets and liabilities added up (I can't tell from what you wrote what it is so I'm just guessing here), then you will deplete your assets, one way or another, in 7 years.

My income may have decreased by 70K a year but I was living this forums mantra before that of LBYM's. So even though I lost that much income I was still able to manage with the years savings that I had on hand and the credit available to me. I needed that money to pay for the surgeries and insurance and medical copays, meds, etc. Now those expenses are drastically reduced but not near 70K.


It does appear you are heading for eventual bankruptcy. Most retirement accounts will be exempt assets, while houses usually are not. So the retirement accounts are the last assets you would want to spend down. Per the earlier suggestions, it might be helpful to sit down with an elder attorney (or even bankruptcy attorney at this point) and CPA or fee only financial planner and have them help you review your options, put you and mom on a sustainable budget and determine how you can protect as much of your assets as possible going forward. Let the CPA, attorney or CFP be the bad guy and break the new budget and living arrangement news to mom.

Homesteads are also protected in bankruptcies in Florida.
I can change my homestead at any time to the free and clear house. But I get your drift and thanks for the advice. I'm going to see my accountant next month. Maybe the accountant can speak to Mom. She used to go to the same church as Mom and I used to so she'd likely take it well coming from her since she respects her.


If you made a flow chart of your options, the first question in regard to your mom would be what can I afford to do for her and then work within that. You wouldn't start with what does she want? If you mom doesn't have any financial skin in the game then of course she will want as nice a life as she can dream up for herself. That is just human nature. Our kids would choose to drive Porsches if they were not budget constrained.
Mom does have skin in the game. She's 50% owner of everything but that didn't stop her from letting the homeowners insurance go.

I know you all think I live in fantasyland but Mom really is the queen of that castle and to be honest I don't blame her since it's served her well for pretty much most of her adult life. Auntie too.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:44 PM   #164
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[OP's brother] has had to deal with his wife's father and mother and their problems. They both ended up in nursing homes and having to dispose of assets.
You've repeatedly used similar verbiage in describing nursing homes, as though they're somehow trying to "get at" residents' assets unjustly. I'm not sure you have the correct idea of nursing homes, which I find very ironic given your professed experience in the industry.

Nursing homes are very expensive. If you have money, you should have to pay for your own care. If you're broke, then the taxpayers will cover it for you. This is welfare. Rich people shouldn't receive welfare, which is why you're required to pay your own way as much as possible, if you're able. There's nothing nefarious about expecting people to pay their own way. The alternative (hiding assets, moving things around, etc.) is nothing short of fraud.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:53 PM   #165
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Have you considered selling your handmade items on Etsy instead of Ebay? I understand their fees are lower.
The fees are lower but the competition is greater and the traffic much less than ebay. I know a few who have tried and have gone back to ebay. Just not enough return on investment of time. The only other marketplace that seems to do better is Amazon but jewelry is a gated category there and it takes alot of work to get ungated like making your own website which I do not have nor desire to have right now.

My items are not hand made, just assembled by me and Mom from already made materials. I take apart other finished jewelry and make our own creations. It's only unique because we come up with the designs but it's not technically hand made. It's not crafty or artsy looking stuff.

And although I know there is a very famous lady doing exactly this who was featured on the news recently and selling her stuff as "hand made" she's technically breaking the rules of Etsy. But even Etsy is changing, looking the other way with the Chinese sellers and has sold out to the Chinese because they just can't resist the money and are being highly criticized for doing so by the true artists that were there at the beginnings of Etsy. I wouldn't be surprised if ebay or Alibaba buys Etsy in the future.
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Old 09-08-2015, 02:02 PM   #166
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You've repeatedly used similar verbiage in describing nursing homes, as though they're somehow trying to "get at" residents' assets unjustly. I'm not sure you have the correct idea of nursing homes, which I find very ironic given your professed experience in the industry.

Nursing homes are very expensive. If you have money, you should have to pay for your own care. If you're broke, then the taxpayers will cover it for you. This is welfare. Rich people shouldn't receive welfare, which is why you're required to pay your own way as much as possible, if you're able. There's nothing nefarious about expecting people to pay their own way. The alternative (hiding assets, moving things around, etc.) is nothing short of fraud.
I understand they need money to operate and if it was just Mom's money at stake I'd be fine with it but it's not. My equity is entwined in this and my father was a Korean war veteran and because of that Mom is entitled to some VA welfare whether you like it or not.

If the VA had treated my father's condition correctly in the first place, Mom wouldn't be a widow today and I would probably not be in the mess with her that I am today. Since they did not, I have zero hesitation letting them foot the bill for their failure to keep their end of the bargain with my Dad. Get over it. Freedom isn't free.

And I was just telling you what my sister in law did, not what I plan on doing. I'm not sure how my future will end. Only God knows that. I will probably die much younger and the hardworking taxpayers like yourself will be spared the burden of my long term care just like they were for paying for my Dads.
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Old 09-08-2015, 02:26 PM   #167
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Honestly OP, you somehow manage to post the most guileless, yet offensive posts I have seen in quite sometime. You have somehow called some posters here veteran bashing, welfare bashing,money hoarding, supercilious, anti real estate, uniformed, anti-family and I think I probably missed a few, and yet you still have people tying to talk to you and help you with your situation.

What exactly are you hoping to get here, because it seems to me after 9 pages, you are just trying to poke the bear.
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Old 09-08-2015, 02:28 PM   #168
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Honestly OP, you somehow manage to post the most guileless, yet offensive posts I have seen in quite sometime. You have somehow called some posters here veteran bashing, welfare bashing,money hoarding, supercilious, anti real estate, uniformed, anti-family and I think I probably missed a few, and yet you still have people tying to talk to you and help you with your situation.

What exactly are you hoping to get here, because it seems to me after 9 pages, you are just trying to poke the bear.
Who's poking who?.
Nice to meet you too.
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Old 09-08-2015, 03:36 PM   #169
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Thanks, all.

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