Retiring Introvert - Ideas on Making Friends

[zedd]

Seconding the suggestion for taking an adult education class. I enrolled in an evening class at the local highschool; welding. No better ice breaker than to have your shirt tails on fire. Met a really nice bunch of guys who seemed sincerely concerned for my well being

[Katsmeow]

This is actually an issue for me that I have yet to solve. I am definitely an introvert (INTJ, very strong on the I). However, I do like having some social contact although I like it in relatively small doses with relatively small groups.

Back when I was working full-time I got most of my social contact at work, in addition to my husband who I consider my best friend. DH retired almost 4 years ago and is basically fine with having social contact with me, our kids who are at home and occasional contact with people he knew from work or family. But, really most of the contact he has from people outside of our house is initiated by them.

I semi-retired when he retired and since middle of last year I've worked entirely from home. I've realized increasingly the past few months that I'm not having enough social contact to suit me. I like my contact with my husband and kids but would love to have some outside friends. How to find those friends is a little perplexing to me as an introvert.

We live in a nice area, but most of the people in this area are different enough from me that it makes me not that easy. For instance, this is an area where many people are very religious and I'm not. I feel somewhat isolated in that my views on things are just not typical of "most" people in this area.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg Nice Fantasy but in reality most women would not appreciate the friendships unless the other woman was a relative , 90 or did not like men. IMO!

So that's what caused my divorce! Narrow minded ladies.

Ha

[Major Tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha I think if someone is not having sex or intending to have sex with outsiders, they should be able to have whatever friends they want. Ha

All the women I have been involved with have had very good instincts as to whether my friendships with other women were genuinely platonic, or had the potential to develop into something more. In some cases, they could tell the other woman was interested in something more even when my primitive self was convinced otherwise. However, whenever I've had a purely platonic friendship with a woman, my partner at the time recognized this and relaxed, realizing it wasn't a threat.

Women can sense these things, even when us dumb guys can't. On the other hand, if your partner is insecure, or you are giving him/her reason to feel insecure, all bets are off.

[chas57006]

Move to a retirement community, hiking club, softball teams, golf leagues, photography club, poker club, dance, and another 20/40 I can't think of.

On top of that there are any number of opportunities of volunteering in any community.

Don't let being an introvert prevent you from retiring.

One quote that helped me retire was "you don't want to be the richest person in the cemetery"

[gardenfun]

I second the recommendation for Meetup. I recently joined a hiking group in my area. You can be as sociable as you want in the group. Or just enjoy the hiking.

The first Meetup group I joined was about 10 years ago--The East Bay English Bulldog Owners Group. What a hoot--20 bulldogs running around. When I moved to San Francisco, I joined the bulldog group there.

When I was working a lot in Paris, I joined the Paris Walkers' United Meetup group. They're all over!

The groups provide social interaction with very little commitment. You can decide how much socializing you want to do with the other members.

Taking classes is another way to find friends, but as others have said, it does take time to develop relationships. I have made friends in my ballet classes, but over a period of 1 to 2 years. The shared experience (adults trying to be graceful) generates some bonding! I'm not saying I see these people all the time outside of class (or the meetup activities), but I do enjoy the time I spend with them.

[travelover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover Plus 2 on Meetup, .........

Quote:

Originally Posted by gardenfun I second the recommendation for Meetup. ..........

Hey, no cutting in line.

[gardenfun]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover Hey, no cutting in line.

Sorry, travelover, forgot Roberts Rules of Order!

[Calico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by zedd Seconding the suggestion for taking an adult education class. I enrolled in an evening class at the local highschool; welding. No better ice breaker than to have your shirt tails on fire. Met a really nice bunch of guys who seemed sincerely concerned for my well being

I was drinking diet coke when I read your post. You owe me a keyboard!