Teenage Views Of Parents

...the kids call to vent or commiserate and we parents mistake it for problem-solving opinion-requesting time...

Excellent point.

[Spanky]

If you could see my Daughters boyfriend you would wonder what the physical attraction could be. Also the boyfriend has, no education, no ambition, no money. But still thinks he is better.

People are attracted to each other for unknown reasons. Though we do not know what she sees in him, we need to respect her judgement and regard him as a human being.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

A human being with a small target on his back

If it helps, at one point I probably would have been regarded as a worthless prospect (well, more worthless than today )

I was more or less a miscreant in high school, got bad grades, thought about college but didnt have the grades or the money. Worked as a dishwasher and at macdonalds (ok, so at least I worked). Had long straggly hair. Wasnt particularly well spoken or well mannered.

So from this you can either take away that the somewhat undesirable boyfriend might end up turning out not so bad, or take away that at least I'm not dating your daughter...

[Lazarus]

It would be a lot easier to respect her judgement if she hadn't climbed out her window to run away with him when she was 17. No money. In a car she didn't own or pay the insurance or gas for. Did I mention the boy in question helped her. Lucky for him that I didn't hear him and mistake him for a prowler. Over the last several years he has had more jobs than I can count. No I can't say that I respect her judgement. I may have to tolerate her choice though. No doubt it will be harder on her than me.

[Nords]

Originally Posted by Lazarus

It would be a lot easier to respect her judgement if she hadn't climbed out her window to run away with him when she was 17.

And you didn't change the locks?

[Dreamer]

Man, my heart goes out to you Lazarus. It sounds like you have really been through it. It is so hard when you love them so much and you see them making poor choices. I hope that she matures quickly and starts making better choices.

Dreamer

[Lazarus]

Well, she is still going to college. (I'am paying). The boy has managed to keep a job for 3 mo. now. So there is hope I think. Still not a very good choice.

[Spanky]

Originally Posted by Lazarus

It would be a lot easier to respect her judgement if she hadn't climbed out her window to run away with him when she was 17. No money. In a car she didn't own or pay the insurance or gas for. Did I mention the boy in question helped her. Lucky for him that I didn't hear him and mistake him for a prowler. Over the last several years he has had more jobs than I can count. No I can't say that I respect her judgement. I may have to tolerate her choice though. No doubt it will be harder on her than me.

Under those circumstances, it is formidable to reserve judgement. People do make wrong choices and mistakes. We just have to be patient and be compassionate to self and others. Simply put - let it be and accept things as they are. It's easily said than done.

There is always hope that some day they will turn out to be responsible and contributing to society.

[moghopper]

Originally Posted by Spanky

There is always hope that some day they will turn out to be responsible and contributing to society.

You're not going to let him ER? ;-0

[RatherBeFishn]

I'll never forget that summer before my daughter went off to college (2 years ago now). She's basically a good kid, but all summer long was just a broken record on how she couldn't wait to 'get outta here' and be 'on her own'. Finally the big moving out day arrived. I went into her bedroom to help her pack her final items. I walked in the door and she had her back to me. She turned around, tears streaming and wailed "I don't want to go!"

Fastforward two years. She's doing great at school, loves her major, has a great guy (could this be the one?) and I still miss her everyday! It's still hard, but I'm so proud of her. Thanks for indulging me

[SLC Tortfeasor]

After reading this thread, all I've got to say is: thank goodness I'm child-free.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I took mine solo to grandpas for a visit.

He was the prince of wails all...the...way...home.

I'm going to bed at 8:00 tonight.

But he's still my pride and joy...in the meanwhile, should he become too surly as a teenager I have several weapons. Telling his girlfriend(s) that we used to call him our "bunny" when he was little, and photos. A lot of photos. First bath. First feeding. And so forth.

If that doesnt work, the same info goes onto his guy friends.

Largest mistake on earth I ever made was taking my dad out for cocktails with some co-workers a little while before I ER'd. That episode on its own probably would have forced me to look for another job. People just wont take you seriously anymore once they find out your parents called you 'junior' until you were 20.