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The best revenge.
Old 11-26-2012, 08:42 AM   #1
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The best revenge.

I had been pushed into early retirement, not entirely voluntarily. If your were in the the corporate rat race, you probably had to deal with your share of unethical cut throats, who would undermine and stab people in the back both for their own advancement or strategic advantage, or it was from their shark instinct. I had been on the receiving ends of those acts.

Now that I am retired, I am thinking about what will be the best revenge on those people.

1. Try to do as well as I can financially, on my own, on my own time, and amass as big a pot as I can that will make them green with envy?

2. Living it up to my heart's desire. And laugh at the tormentors' enslavement by their jobs, their unhappiness and personal traps they set for themselves?

The flaw of option 1 is that I have no beneficiary and have yet identified my charitable cause, and I do not really want to leave the government with 45 or 55%. It is more with the satisfaction of achieving a set goal and subscribing to the notion that money is a way of keeping score in the game of life. I do realize that you cannot take it with you. I am torn between going all out with either option 1 and 2, but likely will have to settle with a mix the the two options.

Yes, revenge is for those with small minds and I admit to that character defect.
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Old 11-26-2012, 08:49 AM   #2
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how about #3: Do as well as I can financially, on my own, on my own time, living it up to my heart's desire. And laugh.

I always find when I try to do something to "show someone" I end up unhappy with the result.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:05 AM   #3
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Thinking about my former co workers going to mandatory Safety Meetings and waiting for their next forced ranking are revenge enough for me. Think I will make another pot of coffee and smile about being free.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:06 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by bondi688 View Post
I had been pushed into early retirement, not entirely voluntarily. If your were in the the corporate rat race, you probably had to deal with your share of unethical cut throats, who would undermine and stab people in the back both for their own advancement or strategic advantage, or it was from their shark instinct. I had been on the receiving ends of those acts.

Now that I am retired, I am thinking about what will be the best revenge on those people.
The best revenge is to forget them because they are neither important nor what matters in life.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:10 AM   #5
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If your were in the the corporate rat race, you probably had to deal with your share of unethical cut throats, who would undermine and stab people in the back both for their own advancement or strategic advantage, or it was from their shark instinct. I had been on the receiving ends of those acts. We've all been subject to 'cut throats' in our lives, you're not unique in that regard. Do you think your corporation had the market cornered on 'cut throats?' It's not restricted to the corporate rat race, though it's almost always harder to avoid in a structured organization. Even the 'best" corporations are not immune, though some are clearly better than others - largely depending on what management rewards and tolerates.

You'll still run into and be influenced by 'cut throats' now that you're retired, just less so most likely. Better to learn how to deal with them without letting them "hook you," than to plan revenge IMO.

Now that I am retired, I am thinking about what will be the best revenge on those people. That would make you no better than the 'cut throats.' If that will make you feel better, you may be part of your problem.

Yes, revenge is for those with small minds and I admit to that character defect. That's right, listen to your wiser self, take the high road, move on, enjoy life...forget them as Michael says.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:13 AM   #6
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I believe that the difference in leaving a job under good terms vs. leaving under hostility and/or duress is tremendous. Not so much in economics but rather what it does to your mental state. Likewise a traffic or parking ticket can do vastly more damage mentally than financially. And let's not talk about what happens if your house bet burglarized even if everything is insured. Life isn't always fair. You can make a big deal out of anything if you choose to do so. It took me twenty five years but I have developed the skill to simply let thing go. It's cliche to say that you're only hurting yourself but it's really is true. Good luck and enjoy your retirement.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:14 AM   #7
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The best revenge is to forget them because they are neither important nor what matters in life.
Agree.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:14 AM   #8
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The problem that I see with both is that you seem to think that will make them envious....

People like you describe would laugh at you for being so narrow minded and not wanting to get to the top... heck, maybe even thinking you are lazy and it was a good thing to get rid of you....


I have realized a long time ago that there are a lot of people who do not think like I do and trying to put on them how I think only makes it worse for me...

so I would do want you want and do not worry about revenge....
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:15 AM   #9
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Life isn't always fair. You can make a big deal out of anything if you choose to do so. It took me twenty five years but I have developed the skill to simply let thing go. It's cliche to say that you're only hurting yourself but it's really is true.
Sincere congratulations. It took me more than 50 years to catch on, and I will always be honing that truly wonderful skill.

The most another person can do is attempt to un/consciously provoke you, how you react to the stimulus is entirely your own choice. Sounds easy, but it's not commonly taught in our culture and it took me more than 50 years to begin to fully grasp my own responsibility - and how easy it is to not get "hooked."
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:22 AM   #10
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Sounds like you are holding a resentment, whose analogy is stabbing yourself and hoping someone else bleeds. That takes too make negative draining energy. Just enjoy "The best revenge is living well" because it is about your happiness, not their demise
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:31 AM   #11
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The best revenge is to forget them because they are neither important nor what matters in life.
+1

Move on and don't waste another second of your life on such thoughts.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:32 AM   #12
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Get over it. Get on with your life. I sometimes run into my former boss at funerals for our long-retired mutual co-workers. When I was working, I detested the man, but now that we are both retired and many of our co-worker are dying (I worked for him over 35 years ago), we are both glad to be alive and we have a lot in common. He always appears to be happy to see me and I'm happy to see him. We can talk about the Good Old Days without having to explain what we are talking about. Recently, we both served as pall bearers for a former co-worker.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:33 AM   #13
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The best revenge is to forget them because they are neither important nor what matters in life.

Agreed, I think I put all that out of my mind as soon as my car wheels rolled off the property. My life was ahead of me, not behind me.

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Old 11-26-2012, 09:34 AM   #14
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For quite a while after I FIREd, I would run into people who knew of the torment enacted upon me by a certain individual, whom I will refer to by a fictitous first name of "Hemlock".
When a former co-w*rker tried to update me about Hemlock's most recent nastiness to other folks still w*rking there, I would smile like this little guy and say...

"Hemlock who? I must have erased that person from my memory."

Rearview mirror all the way
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:36 AM   #15
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The best revenge is to forget them because they are neither important nor what matters in life.
Well said.

Going through the OP's experience, I've learned that in retirement (as in most things), you need to let go of the past and concentrate on the current/future of your life.

Your former employment (and the folks that caused you problems) are of no consequence. Your life is now yours to live as you wish. To let the past (experiences) impact your future is a mistake, IMHO.

The past, is past...
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:39 AM   #16
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Thinking about my former co workers going to mandatory Safety Meetings and waiting for their next forced ranking are revenge enough for me. Think I will make another pot of coffee and smile about being free.
+1

I could list a page full of similar items...

Also, when I left they had to hire 3 full time contractors to replace me... their loss not mine.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:08 AM   #17
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Bondi688, thanks for starting this thread. Although wise people advise us to "forget it" or "get over it," we are only human, and the desire to "right the balance" comes naturally to many of us.

1. I don't think you can do anything that will right the balance with some folks, because they would just make up something about you to tip the balance in their favor again. It's like the woman who strives to be slim and beautiful, only to have her "friends" say things like, "Oh, sure, Sally looks great, but you know she and Jim aren't really happy," etc. They have to believe something bad about you, even if it's untrue, or they can't feel that they are on top any more.

2. Every day when I leave for work, my (retired) husband says, "Don't let the turkeys get you down." "Turkeys" is a good word because most problems at work are caused by the "pecking orders" that arise whenever people get together. I firmly believe that even in the nursing home, there will be pecking orders, so Midpack's advice applies.

3. If you simply must get back at people who have mistreated you, a devilish plan is to smile and say "Hi" in a friendly way. They will be annoyed, because you were supposed to cringe or cut them dead. Well, I actually tried this on a couple of meanies who turned out not to be so mean, once I wasn't seen as a competitor any longer. Turns out they were probably more scared of me than I was of them. We are now quite friendly.

4. You only have one life, so have as much fun as you can. If making tons of $$ is your fun thing, then have at it. Otherwise...as you pointed out, who are you going to leave it to?

5. P.S. I fear that more spiritually-evolved people will frown at this, but I consider it perfectly acceptable to feel happy when you hear that a rotten person got his or her comeuppance. Just don't make that your reason for getting out of bed in the morning or anything, or the rotten person will still have won.

Amethyst
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:19 AM   #18
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Now that I am retired, I am thinking about what will be the best revenge on those people.
Yes, revenge is for those with small minds and I admit to that character defect.
You're never going to avenge yourself on these people if you keep living your life according to their boundaries.

You don't have a character defect. You have a problem. Get help for it.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:51 AM   #19
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The best revenge is to forget them because they are neither important nor what matters in life.
A perfect answer, and that is truly the best revenge.

I have done this, pretty much, although I have also been known to flip the bird in that direction and laugh now and then when driving by my former workplace....

Actually, I am almost grateful to them because my unpleasant work environment pushed me to work as hard as possible towards ER. Now I am enjoying ER, possibly due at least in part to the "turkeys" (Thanks, Amethyst, for that description!) When you are free, you're FREE and people like that quickly become pretty irrelevant.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:58 AM   #20
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"from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."
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