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Thinking about retiring early age difference of spouse
Old 11-27-2010, 06:23 PM   #1
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Thinking about retiring early age difference of spouse

Hi all,

I found this nice forum while googling early retirement.

I'm 48 years old and am seriously thinking about retiring when I am 55. I work in IT in a stressful role but make decent money at $140k a year. I've been working since I was 14 and I think I am just tired.

Here is the thing. My husband is 18 years younger than I am so he has a long time before he can retire.

I am just wondering how this would work with him having to keep working but me being at home all the time?

I'm in Australia so I have no health care/insurance worries.

Anyone else here at retirement age but their spouse who is still working isn't?
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Old 11-27-2010, 06:44 PM   #2
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Uh, welcome to the forum ... I think. You aren't going to cause trouble are you?
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Old 11-28-2010, 07:18 AM   #3
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There are a number of us here that are retired with working spouses. I retired when I was 54 and DW was 50. Unfortunately, she needs to work until age 60 to get paid health care in retirement. I'm well into year 4 of retirement and so far it has not been a problem, but then I have stepped in and taken a lot of the load off from her with respect to home responsibilities.

So based on one data point, it can work.
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Old 11-28-2010, 08:29 AM   #4
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Welcome.
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Old 12-01-2010, 08:25 AM   #5
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Every couple in that situation has to come to an arrangement that works for them.

18 years age difference is fairly unusual, and presumably has presented a few challenges. Obviously you have overcome the latter, so I see no reason why you woun't be able to jointly handle you staying at home while he continues to work.

Welcome to the forum!
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Old 12-07-2010, 10:08 PM   #6
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I also plan to take on DW's household chores. She plans to work another 2 yrs.
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Old 12-11-2010, 08:22 AM   #7
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Although DW is not working, I have told her that if she'd like to I'd be more than happy to take over vacuuming, laundry, cooking, etc. and promised to greet her home every day with a smile, a glass of wine, dinner ready in 15 minutes, and a query "How was your day, dear?"

So far she hasn't taken me up on it.

But it works for us. I much prefer being married to a relaxed happy non-working DW than a stressed-out exhausted high-earning DW. Been there, done that.
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Old 12-11-2010, 08:38 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tribble View Post
Hi all,

I found this nice forum while googling early retirement.

I'm 48 years old and am seriously thinking about retiring when I am 55. I work in IT in a stressful role but make decent money at $140k a year. I've been working since I was 14 and I think I am just tired.

Here is the thing. My husband is 18 years younger than I am so he has a long time before he can retire.

I am just wondering how this would work with him having to keep working but me being at home all the time?

I'm in Australia so I have no health care/insurance worries.

Anyone else here at retirement age but their spouse who is still working isn't?
I'm not in retirement yet, but effectively DW is. Well, if you count being there for our 4 kiddos at home retired. (seriously I know she work a lot at home)


My thoughts are:
  1. Does he want to continue working when you are retired?
  2. My own sister has told me that while she loves her husband dearly, she does enjoy the one day that she's at home (although she does work), and he's working?
  3. What would cause him to be forced to continue to work when you are retired? Keep in mind I've never lived in Australia or read much about their "normal" retirement times ... but then again, this board is about retiring early.
And if it helps, I too am beginning to tire of working since I started working when I was 14 or so, and I'm currently 46 ... almost 47 ... years old. And strangely enough I'm in the same field (well programming for me). However, I find myself longing to have a change of work and to be able to spend more time with my family. Our 4 kids are growing up fast, and I wish that I could espouse more to them.
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Old 12-16-2010, 07:55 PM   #9
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You should work until you have enough money for both to retire and if he wants to continue working he can. For us retirement means travel so with out the money and time how fun would that be.
I'm 12 years younger than my wife and we retired in March. I will work some for great trips but don't need to for normal living. We do have a condo at the beach and spend a week a month down there. If you just retire and require him to work until he's 55 he will leave you.
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Old 12-17-2010, 02:56 AM   #10
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We decided to do what kbst proposes.
I am 6 years younger than DH and our planned retirement date is Feb. 2012.
If his health gets worse, even a bit earlier.
Figure out your both cost of living and both work to get this covered long term. Till then try to find out what you both want to do with your time. If your current job is more exhausting than you can stand, I would try to explore new options.

I knew a couple in your situation. She got the offer to ER at almost her net salary when she was 52. He was in his 30s and continued working. In the beginning he was very supportive. But then he seemed to get tired of her having so much time for herself and being at home all the time. And when he was asked what she was doing he got a lot of raised eyebrows when he mentioned that she was already retired. So after two years of her ER their relationship ended. Also their relationship seemed to slip to a mother/ son relationship with her as the homemaker. Not very healthy.
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