Very strange feeling

[KevinP]

I'm starting to think about Early Retirement (hopefully 2 more years), and this is one of the topics that concerns me. Most of my friends, siblings etc are all older and I don't feel that they are close to retirement. Has anyone experienced resentment from older friends and family that aren't retired?

[MRG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinP I'm starting to think about Early Retirement (hopefully 2 more years), and this is one of the topics that concerns me. Most of my friends, siblings etc are all older and I don't feel that they are close to retirement. Has anyone experienced resentment from older friends and family that aren't retired?

Resentment from some former co-w*rkers, they were not friends. My friends are genuinely happy for me.

I have an 8 year older sibling who still is w*rking. We've never had issues because of my retirement. She picked a different career path and a place to live. Had I stayed in that crappy part of the world I'd probably be working till I was 70, or dead. She and her husband are both afraid of losing money, to the point where they don't invest. She's bought some rental property as she understands that.

[HI Bill]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinP I'm starting to think about Early Retirement (hopefully 2 more years), and this is one of the topics that concerns me. Most of my friends, siblings etc are all older and I don't feel that they are close to retirement. Has anyone experienced resentment from older friends and family that aren't retired?

I've told all of my friends for years that I was planning to retire at 50 [I didn't make that goal after unexpectedly getting married, but am now shooting for my 53rd birthday in 10 months]. Most (including my father) are incredulous (you won't have enough money, what will you do with your time, you'll be bored), and perhaps more than a few were jealous, or at least 'wishing' that they could do the same. For the friends who have good salaries (say, $100K+), I do let know them that I plan to have enough money to do four international liveaboard dive trips per year for two (~$48K) in the budget. Most can't comprehend saving enough to retire, none look forward far enough to plan for such an event, and none of them seem to know how much you should save for retirement!

[JoeWras]

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Originally Posted by MRG Resentment from some former co-w*rkers, they were not friends. My friends are genuinely happy for me.

Just got that today when I bumped into a co-w*rker I hadn't seen in a while. I mentioned my plans and it fell flat as a pancake with the conversation ending. First time I've gotten that kind of cold shoulder.

I'm going to have to learn to be careful.

[ownyourfuture]

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Originally Posted by ChrisK A bit of me felt anxious/insecure/guilty to say retired

Even after 2.5 years, I feel the same way.

[WestUniversity]

No one knows yet at my MegaCorp. For various reasons I can’t go into my announcement will not be until the fall. I’m busting inside anytime anyone talks about distant MegaCorp plans, cause I won’t be here...[emoji4]

[akidagain2018]

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Originally Posted by WestUniversity No one knows yet at my MegaCorp. For various reasons I can’t go into my announcement will not be until the fall. I’m busting inside anytime anyone talks about distant MegaCorp plans, cause I won’t be here...[emoji4]

All you can do is dance!!

And a little:

[kgtest]

I think a lot of people in general are uncomfortable talking about money. Especially those less fortunate. I try to keep this in mind with any discussions about money.

When I asked my ER neighbors on Maui what they did and they responded "We manage our families money" I was simultaneously disparaged yet encouraged and super inspired.

Here I was trying to mange my own ER journey when my neighbors were living that dream and only 10years older than me. A little jealousy, a lot of inspiration.

They did work hard for the short period they did work. Bearing sea fishing and MX restaurant in Cali.

I had to give them working-class perspective from time to time, as after 5 ER years, they sometimes would forget other's weren't quite there. Some of the most generous people I've ever met, with their time and money.

[JustCurious]

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Originally Posted by akidagain2018 "I'm basically focused on managing my real estate now" and doing some professional consulting work, as demand arises, "of course".

Let me guess, you only own one piece of real estate, and it's your home.

[nativenewenglander]

I say I'm 75% retired as I still work 10 hours a week on our small business and then I spend 10 or so hours on a few volunteer gigs each week. Fly fishing season is coming, so I've got work at keeping the native brook trout population in check......

[Hyper]

RE @ 45 in 2012. I said retired for the first yr but only when asked. Most can't comprehend it. I only had one friend that understood. Co workers were resentful. Only told a cpl family members and other family became very resentful. Was repeatedly questioned somewhat uncomfortably how a person could ever do such a thing at a younger age and I actually started getting the feeling many thought I was a lazy, lowlife for not working. Been saying "I'm self employed" ever since!

[Grabberson]

I think if someone becomes anxious upon discovering I'm retired, I didn't cause their angst, I simply triggered an angst they already had. That's their issue, not mine.

[DrRoy]

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Been retired under a year. Have to admit I do love saying I am retired.

+1

[akidagain2018]

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Originally Posted by JustCurious Let me guess, you only own one piece of real estate, and it's your home.

Haha....

You sound like the nay-sayers i'll be leaving behind at work.

No, I have 4 houses! Which is a total of nine living units, so some are multi families [just to be clear ] - two hoses/buildings paid off including the most valuable rental and my country home, thank you very much. It really is a bit of a full time job keeping all the apartments well maintained for the young bucks willing to spend $$$ on renting my places.

[ExFlyBoy5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinP I'm starting to think about Early Retirement (hopefully 2 more years), and this is one of the topics that concerns me. Most of my friends, siblings etc are all older and I don't feel that they are close to retirement. Has anyone experienced resentment from older friends and family that aren't retired?

I haven't had any real issues. However, I will also add that the few people I call "friends" are truly that...and they are very few in number and have had them for many, MANY years and none of them have ever said anything negative (perhaps some ribbing on occasion when I make a comment about doing something while the rest of the world goes to w*rk, but that's the extend of it).

I would say that most of the acquaintances (and most of my former co-w*rkers fall in that category) either don't know, or just didn't care to give me their opinion. Not too long after I retired, I went to a promotion party of a former co-w*rker whom I had known for a long time. It was the most awkward social situation I have *ever* been in and decided that I would NEVER do that again!

I have had one family member give me crap about being retired, but I think it's a jealousy thing. He w*rked up until his 65th birthday and immediately started having health issues. He could have retired earlier, but he has a very large ego and loves, Loves, LOVES to spend money. As you might guess, I am very concerned about his opinion.

[akidagain2018]

I've had supposed 'friends' ditch me after being friends for many years -- I think based of envy or a sense that they just can't be around the person who is going to retire in a couple years. Some people can't make the climb. We have probably all seen this in our careers. Well, it happens in real life too. So, I won't be (am not currently) surprised by the nay-sayers.

I've been encountering these people, and the ones who want to pat me on the head because I still look like a college student, for a LONG time. I think I'm going to be more inclined to put these people in their place once I'm FIREd officially. Just marking off a few more months and I'm already feeling pretty adamant that it's not me it's them and I'm not afraid to hurt their feelings anymore.

[KevinP]

I have mentioned that I'm thinking about it to a few people, and they seem to not believe it. I've even mentioned it to a few co-workers, but now I'm thinking to not talk about my plans at work until I make an announcement. Even though I'm not worried about advancements, I don't want them thinking I've started to check out.

I guess everyone has to make this decision themselves. Either tell people and don't worry about how they respond (ie its their problem), or downplay it (to save peoples feelings). Thanks for the responses! I think I'll go with number #1, as people close to me will find out anyway.

[Bir48die]

I saw a long time friend/acquaintance at the store on Sunday. He's a couple years younger (60) and I know in excellent financial shape. He took me by surprise when he asked what I do all day to keep busy. I ended up with lockjaw. I couldn't think to tell him all of the things I do between travel, exercise, golf, volunteer work and projects. It bugged me. Then I told myself "who cares but me". So, I got over it pretty fast.

[UnrealizedPotential]

I would say that when talking about being retired it is generally a no go zone when talking with others who are younger or especially older who are not retired. That's been my feeling anyway. I think jealously would surface if a conversation happened. Since I don't have the ability to know in advance how someone would respond ,I find it best for myself to just not talk about with anyone really.

Others may have a different experience, but that's my take.

[Dtail]

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnrealizedPotential I would say that when talking about being retired it is generally a no go zone when talking with others who are younger or especially older who are not retired. That's been my feeling anyway. I think jealously would surface if a conversation happened. Since I don't have the ability to know in advance how someone would respond ,I find it best for myself to just not talk about with anyone really. Others may have a different experience, but that's my take.

Agree on the older not retired folk. Sometimes, I do say I am retired to much younger folks, as am figuring they wouldn't care. It has backfired once so far.