Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom
Old 02-22-2016, 03:04 PM   #1
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 8
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom

Hi I am new to the board but have read lots of posts.
I am 52 years old, happily married for 25 years and have worked as Expat for MegaCorporation for even like longer. 3 kids, ages 19 (studying in college in US), 16 and 14 both in high school, youngest one has 4 more years.

My net worth is US$ 11.5 million, of which US$ 8 mio is invested in financial assets (85% equity, rest in bonds and cash), US$ 1.8 mio in stock options (after tax, mostly already vested) and already vested Pension Fund valued (again after tax) at US$ 1.7 mio. No house, Company pays for rent.

Pension Fund will grow to US$ 3 mio once I hit 55 in 3 years, plus annual savings are appr. uS$ 400k.

We currently spend less than US$ 180,000, a lot of it on the children and travelling extensively and comfortably, plus eating out a lot. We have no other expensive hobbies, no expensive cars, boats, etc.. The only exception may be is my wife's shoes...

So I know we dont need more than 120,000 to maybe US$ 150,000 a year once the kids are out of the door. And i know that i could easily retire today at 52, (My wife is 51), even after taking out an exaggerated US$ 1 mio for the kids college and spending another 1 mio on buying a house somewhere. Net , I would still have appr. 10 mio and at 3% that would get us US$ 300,000 per year. (I understand the 3% or 4 % WR. )

So after rambling on for too long,

If I retired today, with my younger kids still in High School for 3 - 4 years, would I not set a bad example?
I still like the work , so what speaks against working a couple of more years. This could change very quickly , if my Company would ask me to move to China or a country in the Arab world.

We are Europeans, so no world wide taxes for us, and I could see myself retiring in Costa Rica ( no income taxes on income earned outsideCosta Rica), or in Mexico ( we know and like Puerto Vallarta and San Miguel de Allende, as we have been living in Mexico for the last 4 years), any experiences on moving to a warm climate, not to lower cost of living, but to increase quality of life? I would love to hear about great retirement destinations.

Our kids are international, all of them want to study in the US, and then own the world. We have no idea where they will end up.
As to hobbies, both my wife and I are into fitness, reading, we like hiking, mountains and the beach, we love food - both cooking and eating out -, and good wine as well.

Hi to all and I apologize for a post that is not very focused and probably too long.
__________________

__________________
Mexpet is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 02-22-2016, 03:14 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
harley's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Following the nice weather
Posts: 6,425
Welcome! Sounds like you've got it made in the shade.

My only response is to your "bad example" question. While I know that 14 and 16 y.o. kids don't necessarily want their dad around too much, it seems to me that being there for them during these last few years might be worth more than gold in the long run. And showing that family is at least as important as work could never be a bad example.
__________________

__________________
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - Will Rogers, or maybe Sam Clemens
DW and I - FIREd at 50 (7/06), living off assets
harley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 03:33 PM   #3
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 72
Over twenty years ago my father, at age 53, retired. He'd worked 24 years for MegaCorp. He was proud of his work there. His division of MegaCorp was being sold off, and he decided he wanted to retire as an employee of MegaCorp, and not go through the hassle of learning to deal with his new corporate overlords. He wasn't a multi-millionaire, but he had enough to be comfortable and see himself through to his end of days without working ever again.

I was in my mid-twenties at the time. I'd never given my own retirement a single thought. My father's actions taught me the lesson of having the proverbial F-U money. Far from being a bad example, it was the example I needed to get serious about saving and investing for my own future. If the "old man" could retire early, then certainly so could I!

So if your kids are anything like me, I think it will be the exact opposite of a bad example.
__________________
Racer X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 03:52 PM   #4
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 340
Welcome to the Forum. I do not think it is a bad example retiring early. On the contrary they are going to understand (possibly at older age) that working hard and earning far more than average, saving enough for ER is a great achievement of their father. Congratulation.
__________________
VFK57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom
Old 02-22-2016, 03:56 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,982
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom

I agree-not a bad example. I saw my Dad demoted when he was in his mid-50s. He and Mom decided to move to Myrtle Beach, which they'd always enjoyed as a getaway. He started a second career as a financial planner and it didn't work out but he didn't need to work for a living. Thirty years later they're alive and well and solvent. I certainly learned that careers aren't forever and if you live below your means you can decide you don't want to work for a living anymore. Your kids have also seen that you didn't squander all your income living like the Rich and Famous and it's paid off.
__________________
athena53 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 04:01 PM   #6
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 355
I retired about a year ago and have three boys - 19, and 17 year old twins. I have to say that there was far more discussion and questions from my kids than I anticipated. To them it was strange that I would be retired. Since I worked from home for the last 10 years, it wasn't that I was now home all the time. One of them asked my "don't you HAVE to work until you are 65?"

In the end, I think it has been good because it opened up lots of conversations about saving/investing, spending, finding a career you enjoy, etc. I am not sure we would have had any of these conversations if I was still working.

The one negative for us is that we are planning on downsizing/relocating once the twins are in college. That uncertainty is a bit unsettling for them.

Good luck and welcome.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________
jabbahop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 04:07 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JoeWras's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,518
My dad started talking about retirement when he was 55. He worked until 70. I thought he was crazy. I wish he had retired mid 50s. We could have played a few more rounds of golf and gotten to know each other better -- something we sadly only did when he was 80+ and too fragile to play golf.

No bad example. He worked his butt off. Up every day at 4:30. I dragged my sorry high school butt out of bed at 5:45 AM and he was on his way out the door. I got the message. Your kids probably are too, and have seen enough to understand.
__________________
JoeWras is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 04:09 PM   #8
Moderator
rodi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 8,806
I was 52 when I retired with teenagers at home. I hope it isn't a bad example.

I find that I have the bandwidth to deal with them and their teen issues more. I can help them stay on an appropriate path easier, just because I can observe their actions/friends more.

I don't have the nest egg (nor lifestyle) that you do - but my kids are seeing the tradeoff of money vs time... and that's a valuable lesson.
__________________
Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 7%, rental income 18%
rodi is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 04:18 PM   #9
Recycles dryer sheets
Dd852's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: London/UK
Posts: 212
I think the key is how you act after you retire. If your expat career was anything like mine, you worked bloody hard for the money you have - and I'm sure your kids saw that. If, after you retire, you become "Mr yes" for every request and purchase, yeah it could go wrong. But if you maintain financial discipline with yourself and them and explain the reasons behind your decisions, you could be the best possible role model for the benefits of hard work and savings


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
Dd852 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 04:37 PM   #10
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southwest Ohio
Posts: 33
I retired after 30 years. My sons were grown and on their own but my daughter was 13-years-old at the time. One of the reasons I decided to leave when I did was because of her. I worked a lot. Well in excess of 40 hours a week, every week. I did miss many things with my boys. And my wife had much more to deal with since I wasn't around. I wanted things to be different with my daughter. I wanted to spend time with her.

My daughter and I are close. Even more so now. It's the best thing I ever did. I don't think my kids look down on me. I'm friends with my sons (still a parent, but we're friends). All my kids talk smack to me but they've never said anything that would make me think I did something wrong when I stopped working. My oldest is actually doing everything financially I wish I'd done at his age. I think he's going to retire sometime in his forties.

Do it. You won't regret it. It's pretty obvious if this decision is wrong for you you have the talent and ability to make money. Almost all of us on this forum can go back to work if we want or need to. So can you. I'd go for it.

Ron
__________________
r2021t is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 04:51 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,982
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodi View Post
I was 52 when I retired with teenagers at home. I hope it isn't a bad example.

I find that I have the bandwidth to deal with them and their teen issues more. I can help them stay on an appropriate path easier, just because I can observe their actions/friends more.

One thing I learned is that just because your kids are toilet-trained and can feed themselves doesn't mean they don't need parenting! Being there for your kids as they become young adults can have huge benefits.
__________________
athena53 is online now   Reply With Quote
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom
Old 02-22-2016, 04:51 PM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Fedup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Southern Cal
Posts: 2,930
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom

I don't think it sets up as bad example. Far from it. It means the high school kid should do well in school and college because one of these days he/she could retire early.
I think early 50s is an ideal age to retire. You still have your health. Congrats!


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
When I post IIRC, that means going by memory. Google is your friend for facts. Stop being a lazy bum, I can't do all the googling for you. I'm lazy too. LOL
Fedup is offline   Reply With Quote
Wow -
Old 02-22-2016, 04:54 PM   #13
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 8
Wow -

You guys are quick, and good- thanks for the good replies. How great would it be to sit on a table, have a drink and be able to listen to you!!!

I am still not sure if I want my kids to think about retirement at that early age.
We are no tiger parents, but I want them to study/ work hard and then play hard. However, there is no arguing against unanimous feedback...

Maybe its my german upbringing from relatively humble backgrounds where everything had to be earned. Of course, we are way past that with our kids, as there is probably nothing that they want and do not have. They are great, good students, respectful, etc..
But, .. I would like to instill some ambition in them.

One more question, when did you start discussing financial situation with your children? Any literature you can recommend?
And finally , pls do not forget to tell me about really good retirement locations. I have of course read the International Living list, but I think that is too focused on low cost.
__________________
Mexpet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 05:17 PM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mexpet View Post
If I retired today, with my younger kids still in High School for 3 - 4 years, would I not set a bad example?.
No offense, but that's not a realistic question on this forum; we're mostly early retirees here (at 55 myself, and I was late compared to many here). I think most here would consider that you were setting a good example.

"Hey, my dad was so savvy that he was able to retire at 52. How cool is that?!"

As for retirement locations, there are constant discussions of them here. Try using the search function and you'll see that. As a general comment though, I think many of us take the online lists of places with a huge grain of salt.

Cost can be a factor, of course. But we also have those who aren't concerned at all about that.

What it boils down to, IMHO, is that we each have our biases, preferences, and impressions of what kind of place we would like to live in. So we do our research, make our own list, and narrow it down. Then we spend time visiting our short list of places to get an impression (at different times of the year if possible). Then many will recommend renting instead of buying for a year to make absolutely sure we have the right place.

Honestly, the subject comes up so often that if you really want good recommendations, it would be best to provide a fairly detailed list of what you want in a retirement home. Things you absolutely must have, those you're fairly sure you want, and things you absolutely don't want. With that info as a start, we have a wealth of knowledge to provide.

Oh, and welcome!
__________________
braumeister is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 05:41 PM   #15
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Treasure Coast
Posts: 338
I retired from paid work at 45 when our kids were 12 and 14. They didn't question the financial aspect of it because they were too young. I was there for them (as much as teenagers want their parents around), but I pretty much always had been. I worried about the same things you are, and was also (still am) very comfortable financially. They both have had some health problems, and I'm eternally grateful I had the time and resources to be there and help them recover. It is usually the stuff you don't plan for or think of that makes the difference.


Fast forward almost ten years. Both kids made it through high school and graduated from very competitive schools with great jobs. It has always been clear to them that they are on their own (with the exception of buying them a car and possibly helping with grad school) after college graduation. We do still pay for them to travel to visit us, which they like to do because we live in two very nice areas.


They are just now beginning to somewhat understand the magnitude of the money supporting this. Partly because they are older and are realizing what things cost, but also because one of them looked over my shoulder when I was online where I keep some money (luckily one of the smaller accounts). We have no intention of telling them details for quite some time.


They now see me (both of us) very involved in not-for-profit work in addition to (me) managing the money. My wife and I both, in addition to regular giving, have one nfp situation where we devote quite a bit of time-two hours a day or so or more.


If you still like to work, then weigh the trade-offs. But don't let your young family give you a reason not to pull the ripcord when you are ready. The sooner you do, the more time you have to float and enjoy the ride.
__________________
45th Birthday is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 06:41 PM   #16
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: North Bay
Posts: 1,026
I think it is a reasonable question to ask...would I be setting a bad example for my kids? The way I see it, as long as you and DW remain grounded in your lives, you will not be sending the wrong message. Continue fulfilling your responsibilities to self, family, and community, continue to show interest in the world, continue to show personal discipline, and your kids will get the right message. If on the other hand you were to start leading a dissolute life when you retire, relaxing your morals and failing to meet your personal obligations, then retirement would be sending the wrong message.

It is not so much the habit of getting up at 5am every morning that we are teaching our kids, but the sense of accepting responsibilities and then fulfilling them (regardless of where we are financially) that we are trying to convey.
__________________
scrinch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 06:49 PM   #17
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Islands
Posts: 330
Mexpet - welcome.

No doubt we are a biased crowd you have chosen to ask so keep that in mind.

FWIW - I am younger than you with younger children at home. I was working in an extremely intense, high-stress field making lots of money. I enjoyed the work but it was taking its toll on me.

My assets had grown very nicely and I started to realize I didn't NEED to work anymore. That itself was very liberating. However, I still enjoyed my line of work and was hesitant to walk away completely as there is no going back. So, I decided to go PT.

My life has changed dramatically since I made that decision. Yes I now make substantially less, but my family and friends have seen the change in me. I now have the time and patience I did not have previously. My relationships with my wife and kids have become much stronger. . .that is priceless. And truly I did not have to sacrifice for this as I was already financially independent. But, I did need the strength to slow down and not allow the lure of the money sucker me in (greed).

I have my fears, like you, of sending the wrong message to my children. I want to instill a strong work ethic that is missing in many youth today. Yet, I want them also to realize money does not equate to happiness. I want them to know faith and family are the most important priorities . . . and I have walked the walk.

I believe it is what you teach your kids about your success that will motivate and encourage them. You are a good example of not only how to BECOME successful, but how to LIVE successfully. Just because one is wealthy does not mean they are living successfully to me.

My 2 cents. Best wishes to you.
__________________
Travelwanted is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2016, 07:36 PM   #18
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Manhattan Beach
Posts: 194
Quote:
Originally Posted by harley View Post
... I know that 14 and 16 y.o. kids don't necessarily want their dad around too much, it seems to me that being there for them during these last few years might be worth more than gold in the long run. And showing that family is at least as important as work could never be a bad example.
Welcome to the forum and a big +1 to this.

Many here have faced this same issue, and opted to place time > money in many ways, myself included.

You certainly are set with those numbers, so it's your call.
__________________
TallTim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2016, 06:22 AM   #19
Full time employment: Posting here.
Golden sunsets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 734
Regarding places to live, Mexico is great, Puerto Vallarta in particular. I'm not sure though if I'd want to live there year round though. You might consider having two residences, one in a warm climate during winter months and another during the summer months , perhaps in Europe where you are from. Europe has so many fabulous spots that are convenient from any location. As your children become settled you may find yourself following them to their chosen locations.
__________________
"Luck favors the prepared mind"
Pasteur
Golden sunsets is offline   Reply With Quote
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom
Old 02-23-2016, 07:40 AM   #20
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,135
Well Off 52 Yr old Married with 3 Teenagers seeks Opinions and Wisdom

I'll be a contrarian. Keep working. You need a few million more to really enjoy life. Especially in your euro tax situation and ability to live globally.

Keep teaching the kids to work harder because as teens they still don't know how to work hard and don't observe your efforts at all despite their strong disciplined German upbringing from age 0. The international schooling and life experience that they've had has done nothing to build their character and they need a strong role model to learn the traits of success.

Plus, if you stroke out while on a business trip you'll get some life insurance payout from Megacorp to leave behind a nice big legacy to your wife and kids. They'll smile at the picture of you on the wall.

....wondering what dad was really like ...

Go ahead. Keep at it ...

Or you could retire now, volunteer in the kids school from time to time to get and stay involved in their lives, do some good charity with the pot you've accumulated in the places you choose to live, Enjoy life.

No.... On second thought ...just Keep working.

PS. Expat 25 yrs, FIRED at 45, one in college and one in HS... Teaching part time now and volunteering. Life is good.
__________________

__________________
papadad111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
2015 Tax filing - married/jointly vs. married/separately Newventurer FIRE and Money 4 04-11-2015 10:33 AM
50 year old lawyer seeks enlightenment as to ER meanmrmustard Hi, I am... 93 11-24-2010 10:22 PM
Young Dreamer seeks wisdom Mary_From_Georgia Life after FIRE 17 01-08-2008 04:59 PM
For currently married MEN only. MUST be married for at least 10 years. Sam Other topics 33 01-08-2007 02:24 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:45 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.