5 Money Woes that can Trouble a Marriage

[Maurice]

Interesting read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/07/yo...oney.html?8dpc

Earlier I posted another, related piece by the same guy:

Four Questions about Money for your future Spouse

[bbbamI]

Great read. I think this article could help the engaged to long-time married couples. Stuff is gonna come up. Might as well discuss situations that may arise and not wait until they are in your lap.

[freebird5825]

dh2b did the smart thing - he appointed me as the budget cop. I'm better at it, I have the time now to devote to it, and we do not argue about money at all.
I've mentioned (before in other posts) the HIS, HERS and OUR money system we use. It really w*rks. We continue to 50-50 cost share on all bills and things we decide that we want together.
We each have discretionary spending money NOT SUBJECT TO each other's approval.
He gets to indulge his techno-toy habit, and I get to indulge my hobby purchases, AFTER all joint bills are paid up first. Zero debt.
The landmine areas in the article cited are generaly not applicable to us, except the children part. His obligations come out of HIS money.
That will never change, even after we get married. Ain't a-gonna go there.

[. . . Yrs to Go]

Surprised I didn't see "Ran out of money because your WR was too high" on the list.

[traineeinvestor]

Being on the same page on money issues is, IMHO, pretty fundamental to a healthy relationship.

Our arrangement is pretty similar to freebird5825's: his, hers and ours with a relative lack of accountability on the "his" and "hers" parts - both in terms of savings and investing. We have individual savings targets. So long as that target is met, we allow ourselves to splurge on luxuries - but neither of us comes even close to spending all the excess.

Since DW will stop w*orking to become a SAHM at the end of the month, we are revisiting. Current thinking is that I will simply provide her with a lump sum each month for herself + the household bills and leave it to her to spend/save as she thinks fit. The amount is based on a budget we prepared together over a three month period. Having observed her money habits for nearly 10 years I am confident that this will work. I am hesitant to supervise too closely as I do not wish to seem to be a control freak.

I would really struggle to stay in a relationship with someone who had a very different attitude to money.

[Walt34]

Quote:

Originally Posted by traineeinvestor Being on the same page on money issues is, IMHO, pretty fundamental to a healthy relationship.

Boy, did I learn that the hard way!

It's really about having common priorities. DW and I are so closely aligned on that it's sometimes a bit weird, like we're telepathic or something.

She is more "financially conservative" than I am but when I look at the numbers I know that logically, reasonably, rationally, she's right and I have to curb my impulses.