Join Early Retirement Today
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
5 Money Woes that can Trouble a Marriage
Old 11-08-2009, 06:30 AM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 898
5 Money Woes that can Trouble a Marriage

Interesting read.

Earlier I posted another, related piece by the same guy:

Four Questions about Money for your future Spouse

Money's just something you need in case you don't die tomorrow.
Maurice is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-08-2009, 01:57 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 8,968
Great read. I think this article could help the engaged to long-time married couples. Stuff is gonna come up. Might as well discuss situations that may arise and not wait until they are in your lap.

There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2009, 02:18 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,019
dh2b did the smart thing - he appointed me as the budget cop. I'm better at it, I have the time now to devote to it, and we do not argue about money at all.
I've mentioned (before in other posts) the HIS, HERS and OUR money system we use. It really w*rks. We continue to 50-50 cost share on all bills and things we decide that we want together.
We each have discretionary spending money NOT SUBJECT TO each other's approval.
He gets to indulge his techno-toy habit, and I get to indulge my hobby purchases, AFTER all joint bills are paid up first. Zero debt.
The landmine areas in the article cited are generaly not applicable to us, except the children part. His obligations come out of HIS money.
That will never change, even after we get married. Ain't a-gonna go there.
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2009, 07:30 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Gone4Good's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,383
Surprised I didn't see "Ran out of money because your WR was too high" on the list.
Gone4Good is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2009, 08:58 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 1,451
Being on the same page on money issues is, IMHO, pretty fundamental to a healthy relationship.

Our arrangement is pretty similar to freebird5825's: his, hers and ours with a relative lack of accountability on the "his" and "hers" parts - both in terms of savings and investing. We have individual savings targets. So long as that target is met, we allow ourselves to splurge on luxuries - but neither of us comes even close to spending all the excess.

Since DW will stop w*orking to become a SAHM at the end of the month, we are revisiting. Current thinking is that I will simply provide her with a lump sum each month for herself + the household bills and leave it to her to spend/save as she thinks fit. The amount is based on a budget we prepared together over a three month period. Having observed her money habits for nearly 10 years I am confident that this will work. I am hesitant to supervise too closely as I do not wish to seem to be a control freak.

I would really struggle to stay in a relationship with someone who had a very different attitude to money.
Budgeting is a skill practised by people who are bad at politics.
traineeinvestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2009, 06:43 AM   #6
Walt34's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 14,099
Originally Posted by traineeinvestor View Post
Being on the same page on money issues is, IMHO, pretty fundamental to a healthy relationship.
Boy, did I learn that the hard way!

It's really about having common priorities. DW and I are so closely aligned on that it's sometimes a bit weird, like we're telepathic or something.

She is more "financially conservative" than I am but when I look at the numbers I know that logically, reasonably, rationally, she's right and I have to curb my impulses.

I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
economic woes worse after 9/11? Keyboard Ninja Young Dreamers 2 02-27-2009 10:24 AM
If regional banks are in trouble, what is the best bank to put your money in? Orchidflower FIRE and Money 5 09-24-2008 07:41 PM
Motorhome Woes SteveR Life after FIRE 51 08-18-2008 08:09 PM
'Money Market Substitutes' Get Hit by Subprime Woes gindie FIRE and Money 28 08-15-2007 10:00 PM
modem woes ronin Other topics 6 11-08-2006 09:00 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:01 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.