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63 and still deep in parenthood and the “not good”
Old 10-30-2017, 04:57 AM   #1
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63 and still deep in parenthood and the “not good”

My 22 year old daughter and her long term boyfriend spent Saturday putting together Halloween costumes. A group of the last may college graduates had purchased tickets to a halloween event at a brewery at a trendy part of Philly. Another parent agreed to drop them off. As I understand it they would grab an uber back. A couple of the ladies planed on sleeping over. I give the gym generation a their due -they don’t drive after partying. Although I said nothing - I am not a big fan of bars - further this old man knows that bad things happen after 1AM. Her choice was a movie character that include shorts, fishnet stockings and a shiney jacket. My daughter is a looker, tall and gym toned. Not good. Again I simply said “there are people who dress like that normally.” What I didn’t say they work in the oldest profession known to man.

I almost woke when they came in - that is I heard something and maybe I raised my head off the pillow an inch but I fell back asleep immediately. In the morning the Mrs. told me they got home around three. I thought to myself ‘not good’ but they are kids or young adults..right? By the time first one came down around 9 I had been awake for 3 and half hours. Other then saying one of the girl’s mother had picked them up. She said little “thanks for letting me sleep over” and was off. This particular honors college graduate has a half dozen med school applications out there. I thought -wow 3AM and she came and picked them up.. quite a Mom. When the second one came down the tidbits of information starting coming in. My daughter left he phone at the bar. Not good. We are going back at 2PM to get it; she isn’t feeling well. She was fine then suddenly starting violently throwing up. Double not good. They had to lead her out of the bar. Parent question #1: How many drinks did you have? Answer: a couple. I was thinking hungover and miserable- ok lesson hopefully learned. Except by 3pm shes still sick, now with a blinding headache and I’m on the phone with poison control. Verdict if she cant hold down water take her to the emergency room. We force her to drink and I go with the boyfriend and retrieve the phone. 6PM and after another round in the bathroom and she says her stomach is feeling a little better. 8PM and another round of nausea and then shes asleep.

She’s upstairs sleeping now and it is nearly 7AM - normally she be out the door for work ten minutes ago. This old man suspects that something doesn’t jive - at that age I’d blow through a hangover by noon the latest. Rarely any later. The boyfriend says one minute she was fine the next quite ill. Not good. We looked up the effects of someone putting a “roofy” in your drink and they match dead on.

Did I mention that the son is struggling with his history course...Not good.
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Old 10-30-2017, 05:17 AM   #2
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Sad.
I was a newly divorced bachelor in my late 20's and I started doing the club crawl. I had quite an epiphany when I saw all the ladies dancing with drink in hand (to avoid being drugged). And yup, sh!t tends to go south in the wee hours....
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Old 10-30-2017, 06:09 AM   #3
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***sighs***
Aah the never ending "joys" of parenthood. No advice Ray, just a bunch of empathy. there are days when I truly love the minions and then days where I like the dog Hobbes "waaay" better.

Hope your daughter is fine.

note: I'm a native NY'er, was in my 20's during the "disco" 80's. me and my girlfriends were probably the original "sex in the city" girls, although without the money. I too dance with drink in hand.
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Old 10-30-2017, 06:53 AM   #4
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Ask her what she was drinking. Probably not but it is pretty easy to get food poisoning from some mixed drinks when the mixes aren't store properly. Don't ask me how I know!
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Old 10-30-2017, 07:57 AM   #5
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Buy your DD the Gavin DeBecker books The Gift of Fear and Fearless. This stuff doesn't always happen to "someone else". Having said that anyone that ever watched Cops or LivePD know that "a couple" is the standard answer you give when questioned about the amount of booze you consumed.

As for your son's history class, that's not your concern.To be frank you appear to hover way too much over the boy. Its kind of hard to screw up a history class if you show up and do the work. It's history not brain surgery.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:09 AM   #6
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Its not uncommon for someone to get slipped a mickey. Date rape drugs are easy to come by. If you're a female never accept a drink from someone. Never drink large mouthed drinks in a club...like a martini. Stick to bottled beer and make sure you see the bartender open it and hand it to you. Thats just how it is now...and thats how its always been...this isnt anything new.

Happens to dudes too but not nearly as common. Use common sense and you should be alright.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:21 AM   #7
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This is where you sit her down and say "enough with the 'couple of drinks' line" what happened.

And if she won't say more, you take her to the ER and get a blood test done which will show if/what else is in her system.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:23 AM   #8
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This is where you sit her down and say "enough with the 'couple of drinks' line" what happened.

And if she won't say more, you take her to the ER and get a blood test done which will show if/what else is in her system.
Yes but that should have been done yesterday.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:25 AM   #9
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She’s upstairs sleeping now and it is nearly 7AM - normally she be out the door for work ten minutes ago. This old man suspects that something doesn’t jive - at that age I’d blow through a hangover by noon the latest. Rarely any later. The boyfriend says one minute she was fine the next quite ill. Not good. We looked up the effects of someone putting a “roofy” in your drink and they match dead on.
IMHO, very, very unlikely that someone put a date rape-type drug in her drink. All throughout my heaviest, craziest party years (late teens - late twenties), I never once heard of this happening to anyone I knew and I never heard a single guy (friend or acquaintance) talking about it. And I strongly suspect these types of drugs are even harder to get today than they were back then.

Sounds to me like she just drank far too much and may have suffered the thoroughly miserable effects of a brush with alcohol poisoning. That I did see a number of times in my college years and 20s, and actually it can be much more dangerous than ingesting something like rohypnol.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:34 AM   #10
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Ugh. This is the part of parenting young adults that is so difficult---learning to let go and let them learn by their mistakes. The hard part is making sure (hoping/praying) the mistakes don't harm them.
When she is feeling better, an honest, heartfelt discussion (not lecture) may help.
Sorry you both are experiencing this.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:35 AM   #11
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I vote she drank shots, a lot of shots. I also vote letting both kids stand on their own two feet when they screw up. Why isn't she getting her own forgotten phone (hint: check her texts if you pick it up to get a sense of the evening) back at the bar? And why is your son not taking responsibility for his own history test--it should have nothing to do with his father.
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Old 10-30-2017, 08:41 AM   #12
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I am 100% serious. This, in a small way, could be a good thing. It's possible your daughter - for the first time - drank in excess and suffered the unsurprising after-effects. If she learns from this, it could be a good lesson learned.
I hope she fully recovers from this episode quickly.
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Old 10-30-2017, 09:32 AM   #13
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IMHO, very, very unlikely that someone put a date rape-type drug in her drink. All throughout my heaviest, craziest party years (late teens - late twenties), I never once heard of this happening to anyone I knew and I never heard a single guy (friend or acquaintance) talking about it. And I strongly suspect these types of drugs are even harder to get today than they were back then.
Not so fast, Sojourner. I just had lunch with a former coworker who was telling me that a former college classmate of his now 29-year old son was putting date-rape drugs in various female's drinks in the past few years (post-college). This is in an upscale area. My friend didn't get into a lot of detail but did say the father of one of the victims is a lawyer and is doggedly pursuing this kid.

About 10-15 years ago, a friend of a friend, in her 40s, was out clubbing with friends in another nice area of town and suffered effects similar to having ingested a date-rape drug. Luckily, her real estate office was a few blocks way from the club and she managed to get herself over there before passing out, unmolested.

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Old 10-30-2017, 09:38 AM   #14
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Not so fast, Sojourner. I just had lunch with a former coworker who was telling me that a former college classmate of his now 29-year old son was putting date-rape drugs in various female's drinks in the past few years (post-college). This is in an upscale area. My friend didn't get into a lot of detail but did say the father of one of the victims is a lawyer and is doggedly pursuing this kid.

About 10-15 years ago, a friend of a friend, in her 40s, was out clubbing with friends in another nice area of town and suffered effects similar to having ingested a date-rape drug. Luckily, her real estate office was a few blocks way from the club and she managed to get herself over there before passing out, unmolested.

omni
Since this young lady was with a serious BF, I'd ask her if any other men bought her drinks...
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Old 10-30-2017, 10:05 AM   #15
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Not so fast, Sojourner. I just had lunch with a former coworker who was telling me that a former college classmate of his now 29-year old son was putting date-rape drugs in various female's drinks in the past few years (post-college). This is in an upscale area. My friend didn't get into a lot of detail but did say the father of one of the victims is a lawyer and is doggedly pursuing this kid.

About 10-15 years ago, a friend of a friend, in her 40s, was out clubbing with friends in another nice area of town and suffered effects similar to having ingested a date-rape drug. Luckily, her real estate office was a few blocks way from the club and she managed to get herself over there before passing out, unmolested.

omni
I certainly didn't mean to imply that it never happens. Clearly, it does. But the incidence is low enough that you could say it's very unlikely that any one individual case of a woman having a very bad hangover with symptoms of alcohol poisoning was actually given a date-rate drug surreptitiously. I read some statistics recently that indicated that around 4% of all sexual encounters that could be classified as rape or attempted rape involved someone unwittingly ingesting a date-rape drug. So my only point was that, based on what @rayinpenn posted, it seems very unlikely to be the case here.
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Old 10-30-2017, 10:21 AM   #16
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Ray, sorry you're dealing with this. My gut reaction is that she's far more likely to be dealing with a strong hangover than some kind of drug slipped in. Either way, hopefully her discomfort will be a lesson not to do it again.
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Old 10-30-2017, 10:50 AM   #17
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Yes hangovers are rough. That is part of the reason I do not drink hard liquor anymore. It's just not worth it.
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Old 10-30-2017, 11:18 AM   #18
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Ray, sorry you're dealing with this. My gut reaction is that she's far more likely to be dealing with a strong hangover than some kind of drug slipped in. Either way, hopefully her discomfort will be a lesson not to do it again.
+1

Honorable minion #1 could not wait to turn 21 and be able to drink legally. Him and his buds are HUGE philadelphia Eagles fans and I think they had visions of being one of the lovely fans at Lincoln financial.

Well boyfriend turns 21, gets 4 tickets to an eagle game for his birthday. him and his friends sashay down to the game, have a gay old time.

Next day not only was he sick from his hangover, he was dead broke from $10 dollar warm beers.

yeah dude, that's the part they don't tell you on all those sexy bud lite commercials.
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Old 10-30-2017, 12:18 PM   #19
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I'm thinking food poisoning too. Lotta cheap bar food out for who knows how long, maybe left out too long, not kept hot or cold enough.
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Old 10-30-2017, 12:49 PM   #20
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This is where you sit her down and say "enough with the 'couple of drinks' line" what happened.

And if she won't say more, you take her to the ER and get a blood test done which will show if/what else is in her system.


Really? This is an adult women, not a teen age delinquent.
Roofies are possible, but was she unconscious when she came home? If no I'd think contaminated ice from the bar caused food poisoning.
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