Originally Posted by TromboneAl
Wittgenstein: "You can't be cured unless you've had the disease."
Phew, Al, pretty erudite quotation.
Do the other jazz musicians know you can talk like this? *Have you ever been thrown out of a surf lineup for wisecracks like that?
My typical ER conversation when "they" run into me:
They: *Wow, Nords, I haven't seen you in a few years, what happened to your hair?!? *Where are you working now?
Me: *I'm retired.
They: *I know that, you longhair, I got your announcement, but where are you working since you've retired?
(Note: *Those three sentences are almost a ritual exchange between veterans.)
Me: *Uh, I'm really retired.
They: *Yeah, so where do you work?
Me: *Well, I'm really really
retired. *I'm not working.
They: *Oh, c'mon! *You're too young to be put out to pasture like that! *Get a haircut and get a job!! *I know a friend who has a (contractor's job vacancy)(GS billet opening)(consulting business)...
Me: *Thanks, but I'm not interested in, uh, working.
They: *Sorry about that, buddy. *Call me when you change your mind, I can hook you right up. *Because after all, "what would you do all day"?
Me: *We're raising a teenager.
They: *Yeah, but whaddya do
Me: *Oh, that's right, your 60-hour workweek means you don't spend a lot of time with your kids. *Well, we also do a lot of chores, home improvement, surfing, catching up on our reading, spending time with the family, and lazing around. *Our kid & I have also taken up tae kwon do. *I even volunteered with a non-profit for a few years. *I feel like I'm catching up on all the things I didn't have time for when I was working.
They: *I'd go crazy! *What do you do the next day?
Me: *I went surfing three times last week.
They: *Surfing, eh? *I gotta try that someday.
Me: *After you've lived in Hawaii for 20 years that seems like a good idea...
They: *Well, I'd go crazy with nothing to do all day like you. *Besides, how are you going to get a job when the money runs out?
Me: *Er, my pension already pays for the mortgage and the groceries and the utilities. *We spend a little out of savings, and that should last until spouse's pension starts up in another 16 years.
They: *Yeah, but are you still driving that crappy Taurus? *How old was that thing, seven years?
Me: *It's almost 13 years old now. *But it still runs fine.
They: *Man, I'd never be able to live without a nice car. *My wife & kids would never let me make those sacrifices to live on a budget. *
Me: *We don't feel like we're sacrificing anything. *We went on a cruise last summer.
They: *A cruise, eh? *I gotta try that sometime.
Me: *There'll be three cruise ships working Hawaii this summer. *Last-minute rates are only about $100/day and we can get away whenever school's on break or when Grandma will take care of our kid.
They: *Oooh, don't know if I could afford that much.
Me: *(Needling a little) *We try to do it every year or so to break up the interisland trips or DisneyWorld vacations. *
They: *Oh, hey, I gotta get back to the office. *I just came from a doctor's appointment to sort out my blood pressure & cholesterol prescriptions. *The work never lets up and my boss will be pulling my
hair out! *Fax me your résumé, OK?
Me: *Gosh, I don't have a résumé. *I'm retired and I don't want to work. *But maybe you and the family could come over for dinner some evening. *We'll sit on the back lanai, gaze at the sunset, and I'll show you how we managed to save for early retirement.
They: *You're still a big kidder! *Well, let me know if you want any help with the job search. *Gotta run!!