A Solo Seniors Guide to Happiness

[audreyh1]

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Originally Posted by gretah Great article. Thanks for posting the link, OP. I plan to move into a CCRC later, which will address many concerns. I like that as I move to assisted living or nursing unit, I won't lose my friends. They will still live in building or on campus.

Even in a CCRC I am concerned about having a health advocate and other people who look out for me. I don’t feel that I can depend entirely on the CCRC.

[Scuba]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst Gee, I would hope that by the advanced ages we are talking about, this would no longer be an issue. Also if people are still coupled-up, they probably don't have the same loneliness issues as being discussed. I have never fit in well with all-women groups. However, I've always fit in well with mixed sexes, as long as there is some common interest. Something about men and women in a group together, seems to tone down the more tedious aspects of either sex.

Sadly I think it is an issue with the elderly, especially because as time passes, there are way more women than men. In my dad’s assisted living facility, two women were kicked out because they were fighting over him constantly.

[Scuba]

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Originally Posted by audreyh1 Even in a CCRC I am concerned about having a health advocate and other people who look out for me. I don’t fell that I can depend entirely on the CCRC.

You are right about having an advocate. The residents who have someone visiting frequently and watching how their loved one is being treated get more attention.

[Chuckanut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst I have never fit in well with all-women groups. However, I've always fit in well with mixed sexes, as long as there is some common interest. Something about men and women in a group together, seems to tone down the more tedious aspects of either sex.

I think you're right. The genders seem to buffer the more negative traits that come out when it's all one gender or the other. I guess the desire to not look like complete fools to the opposite sex is a strong force in our lives.

[imoldernu]

With some experience in a CCRC, (even though we live in a separate "Villa".

Living in a group residence doesn't necessarily mean automatic socialization. Of course eating meals together necessitates human contact, but it is not uncommon to have loners. Our CCRC does have a very active program to bring people together...planned events, as encouraging card games, dominoes, and bingo's that go on every day of the week.
A well organized calendar for shopping, concerts, gaming boats, and classes for cell phones and computers. Hymn sings, health lectures and exercise routines and cookouts.

This does not just happen. Before making a decision for yourself or a loved one, all of this is just as important as nice buildings, comfortable living areas and good physical care.

[FIREd]

Thanks for the link to this article. I have no kids but I always thought that at least I would grow old with my wife. Well, she decided to go her separate way and now I wonder about navigating old age alone. Granted, I am only 44, I may meet another SO and I am still green enough to have kids. But I realize now that assuming that someone else (spouse, kids, relatives, etc...) will take care of me in old age is foolish. Spouses can leave, die, or become incapacitated themselves. Kids can move away and they have their own life to live. Relatives may not want to take on the responsibility of caring for a senior. The old multigenerational family system is dead, so I am going to plan as if I will be solo in old age.

[PawPrint53]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst I have never fit in well with all-women groups.

That's too bad because sometimes the topics my Monday women's coffee group discuss, and end up laughing hysterically about, would probably embarrass or perhaps horrify men. Political discussion abounds, though, which some might find tedious. I imagine not all coffee groups are like mine, though.

[happy2bretired]

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Originally Posted by Scuba Sadly I think it is an issue with the elderly, especially because as time passes, there are way more women than men. In my dad’s assisted living facility, two women were kicked out because they were fighting over him constantly.

I wonder if the “fighting” will change in the next decade or so. I’m just thinking about how women have changed and are still changing now. I think that because women are not as dependent on men as they were in my grandmother’s and mother’s time, that more women will possibly become less dependent on having a man in their old age.

[Amethyst]

My observations (anecdotal, naturally) have been that old ladies are pretty much the same people they were as girls in high school.

If they were kind, considerate girls, they'll still be just as nice.

If they domineered over the other girls, they'll domineer over other old women (and there are always some who are willing to be domineered over).

If they were science-fiction-reading loners then, they'll be science-fiction-reading loners now.

And if they were the sort who squabbled over boys, I imagine they'll still squabble over old men, even without the hormonal imperative.

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Originally Posted by happy2bretired I wonder if the “fighting” will change in the next decade or so. I’m just thinking about how women have changed and are still changing now. I think that because women are not as dependent on men as they were in my grandmother’s and mother’s time, that more women will possibly become less dependent on having a man in their old age.

[happy2bretired]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst My observations (anecdotal, naturally) have been that old ladies are pretty much the same people they were as girls in high school. If they were kind, considerate girls, they'll still be just as nice. If they domineered over the other girls, they'll domineer over other old women (and there are always some who are willing to be domineered over). If they were science-fiction-reading loners then, they'll be science-fiction-reading loners now. And if they were the sort who squabbled over boys, I imagine they'll still squabble over old men, even without the hormonal imperative.

That’s an interesting observation. You might be on to something there.