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AAAAHHHHH! I just discovered one of my pet peeves....
Old 06-16-2007, 06:03 PM   #1
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AAAAHHHHH! I just discovered one of my pet peeves....

MY FIANCE!!! LOL


Actually, she's the culprit. Whenever we goto the store to shop, she wanders off from me(with, or without our son) and I cant find her for sometimes up to an hour. I had to have her paged on the Super Walmart intercom today! I was SOOOOO pissed, I ended up taking her keys and drove home, made myself a quick dinner, got back 1/2 hr later, ate some peanuts in the car for a while, and she finally emerged.


I've not been this mad in years...I was hitting things and even set off a few firecrackers to help vent! It wasnt anything major, but it happens so often, and I talk to her about it so often, that I lost it.


She always conveniently forgets he phone in the car or at home...so I cant just call her on the cell. Today she said she was running out to the car to grab coupons...we were in the FIRST isle by the entrance...and parked 3 spots from the front. I stood in said isle for 5 minutes, then looked in 2 adjacent isles...no more than 50 feet from where she left. I then strolled the main feeder isle in that area for 15-20 minutes. By then I was fuming. I went to the front, and had her paged. She came walking up from the opposite side of the store with 2 things in her hand...sliced turkey and corn on the cob. WTF!!

I always was taught to stay put if you are lost and in need of rescue, within reason. And I always assumed it would make sense to return to the spot that you lost contact with someone at right after they said "stay right in this area, i'll be right back"


Im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad.....this is odd that its getting to me this much

thanks for letting me vent
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Old 06-16-2007, 06:10 PM   #2
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Some folks never learned the definition of the word consideration. It as hard taught to an adult. GOOD LUCK
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Old 06-16-2007, 06:13 PM   #3
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MY FIANCE!!! LOL
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I've not been this mad in years...I was hitting things and even set off a few firecrackers to help vent! It wasnt anything major, but it happens so often, and I talk to her about it so often, that I lost it.
Take it from one who knows little brother, walk! Child support is way better than blowing your life on this situation. If it gets better it will be the equivalent of turning loaves into fishes.

What you are describing is disrespect; you shouldn’t subject yourself to it.

Ha
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Old 06-16-2007, 06:52 PM   #4
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There is a simple solution. I do not like to spend much time shopping. I want to get in and get out. When I go shopping I am on a mission to buy something specific... Idon't waste time. DW on the other hand likes to spend a lot of time browsing and hitting different stores looking at clothes, etc... Plus she gets annoyed if I sigh when she is taking too long.

So... DW usually shops without me. Problem solved.
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Old 06-16-2007, 07:58 PM   #5
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There is a simple solution. I do not like to spend much time shopping. I want to get in and get out. When I go shopping I am on a mission to buy something specific... Idon't waste time. DW on the other hand likes to spend a lot of time browsing and hitting different stores looking at clothes, etc... Plus she gets annoyed if I sigh when she is taking too long.

So... DW usually shops without me. Problem solved.
im the same way...in and out, 3 minutes if possible lol. the thing is.. i do like to grocery shop or else im stuck with garbage for the next 2 weeks...and i dont mean good tasting garbage like ho-ho's...i mean like 60% kid-geared food (read gerber graduates and goldfish), and a buncha stuff u cant even make a meal out of...if she does buy meat, she grossly overpays....



im gonna stop thinking about it now....
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Old 06-16-2007, 08:08 PM   #6
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When my wife and I got married both of our mothers decided to visit us. All the "girls" went to Super Walmart to pick up a few things. i wisely stayed home to spare myself the agony. After 2 hours they still weren't home. I knew my mom was not the shop till you drop kind of person so I got in the car and went to Walmart to pick her up. Sure enough she had had enough shopping and wanted to go home. I picked her up and we headed home.

Fast forward 10 years and now my wife and mom go to the mall for hours. I still don't go because I would not want to be tortured for hours on end.
Bottom line....the more things change the more they stay the same.
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Old 06-16-2007, 08:09 PM   #7
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Uh, Bicycle flag you can tape to her for a better visual and a heavy bag for you to pound on in the basement. Much cheaper than child support.
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Old 06-16-2007, 09:30 PM   #8
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My husband and I finally got a second cellphone after we were stuck (in our RV) in a city for 3 weeks and realized one had no way to call the other when only one of us went out to run an errand.

Now 1/2 the time we use it to call each other so we can find each other in the same store! We never anticipated that application, but it's been really nice. Now either of us can spontaneously wander off at will.

Audrey

P.S. I'm not much of a shopper, and I hate trying on clothes. But DH can spend an hour perusing the drawers in the hardware aisle at Lowe's and I gotta entertain myself somehow!
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Old 06-16-2007, 09:33 PM   #9
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Get some of those walkie-talkies..

Not to defend her entirely, but it is kind of easy to get sucked into the black hole of the big box stores. I've gotten lost in them.. or if I say to my self "ooo I need elastics".. well, good luck finding them without sherpas and a base camp. Even if you know exactly where something is it'll take a good 15 min. just to hike back & forth across the store. Which 15 minutes seems like 45 to the non-interested party. Bring a book/newspaper/crossword puzzles if you must accompany her on these outings. :-)
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Old 06-16-2007, 10:16 PM   #10
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Fed,
Are you out of sync with your Fiance?
If it is only this one; then you may be able to live with it or come to some sort of accomidation.
If there are others then ...
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Old 06-16-2007, 10:32 PM   #11
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Fed

Are you still on vacation?

Good luck man.
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Old 06-17-2007, 09:04 AM   #12
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im the same way...in and out, 3 minutes if possible lol.

I think we've just discovered why your girlfriend keeps wandering off...
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Old 06-17-2007, 09:44 AM   #13
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I remember stopping at Macy's at 34th Street, spent 2 hours and didn't buy anything. My then BF couldn't believe it. In the end I dumped him because he kept suspecting I had another guy on the string.

My husband also rushes through a store (sometimes he doesn't recognize he is pushy), it as if someone is keeping a record of shortest shopping times. Bottom line, I would rather not shop with him because he doesn't enjoy the hunt.

Solution: don't shop together, it's no fun for either of you. Just agree on what to buy and not buy, budget.
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Old 06-17-2007, 12:15 PM   #14
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OK lack of consideration is one bad thing but also poor judgement in food selection? No cell phones or walkie talkies or flags can fix that problem!

Insist on doing the key shopping for yourself and then have her call you when she wants to be picked up with all her kid food.
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Old 06-17-2007, 02:29 PM   #15
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Despite being female, I am the one who doesn't like to shop. If I need something I look it up online and find what I need. If it's in a local store, I'll go get it and save the shipping charges.

I get my fill of the browsing/shopping stuff when I go to the grocery store.

My husband and I used to be able to go on shopping errands together. But it got to be that any errand turned into 3 or 4 more stops at thrift stores for him and then taking the scenic route home. I don't go into thrift stores so I would sit in the car, patiently of course, while he did his browsing and meandering. He felt constrained knowing I was out in the car waiting. And I felt like I would rather be doing ANYTHING ELSE.

He just has this need to go hunting and gathering for other people's old crap. But he has an eye for it and many times has come home with things to sell on eBay and he seems to be making more than he's spending so I can't complain. I just don't want to participate.

Another thing that bugged me about his thrift store habit was not being able to know in advance how much he would be spending. He'd either spend his 2 weeks worth of cash all at once or pay for it with the debit card, using money intended for something else. So a few years ago I asked him what he needed every two weeks for thrift stores and now he gets that in cash. He has actually learned to keep it separate and sometimes even saves it and adds it to his next 2 weeks of thrift store cash. That was a big step for him as he finds that thinking about money makes him itchy and uncomfortable.

Really, outside of these 2 things it's a very good marriage!

Now that we are looking ahead to retirement ( about 7 years) I'm thinking he's really going to enjoy being able to do his wandering around the thrift stores and garage sales and taking his time and enjoying the scenic route.
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Old 06-17-2007, 03:57 PM   #16
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hey fed, if this same situation keeps repeating itself - find a solution that will work - since explaining your frustration isn't translating to your fiance - you have to figure something else out -

some options:

"i'll meet you at X time by the bread aisle"
you bring the walkie talkies and hand it to her
you bring her cell phone and tape it to her forehead

if you love her and want to work it out - it seems a rather minor thing to work out - and one step toward perhaps long term happiness! good luck!
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Old 06-17-2007, 04:21 PM   #17
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I have this thing I got for shopping with my 2 year old. Little sender that clips inside his pants and a receiver that beeps if he goes more than 8' away from me when i'm not paying attention.

That might do it for ya.
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Old 06-18-2007, 06:41 AM   #18
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You sound like you are nuts putting up with this. Tell her the next time it happens you are going home and she can call you for a pick up. Then do it. When she calls, tell her to wait by the door and then do the delay routine yourself.
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:02 AM   #19
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When we go to a store like Walmart - my daughter wants to look at cloths/crafts, son want to go to the electronics area, DW "floats". We all agree on a specific time to meet by the front doors -- this has worked great
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Old 06-18-2007, 01:45 PM   #20
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I agree with the others that you guys shouldn't shop together. Either YOU do the shopping, or make out lists together of what you need to make food for the week, or whatever.

Just because you are engaged/married doesn't mean you have to do everything together.
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