"Alone time" and togetherness - - how is your balance working out for you?

[W2R]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningBum Are you set on a house? How about townhomes in the same complex, if not side by side? Would building a duplex to your specifications be affordable?

All of these options are open. That's the great thing about being retired.. we can do what we please.

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by W2R I think you underestimate your accomplishment in managing to live happily in such tight quarters for all these years! That's great.

Actually, I just think we are very compatible, because we have never had to work at it. Also, DH is very easy going.

When I first got ready to retire, I did have concerns about being together so much more, but it turned out to be a complete non-issue. In fact we pretty much would run most errands together, and we ended up not needing a second car, so we sold it within 6 months of retiring.

And these days, once we are set up at camping in a nice natural area (including at home), DH may be off for hours at a time chasing stuff with his camera. I rarely join him. I have my own hobbies to pursue.

Audrey

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg It's easy to find out if you can live with them . Just take some clothes and pile them up messily on a chair in your bedroom and then place tools and assorted screws on your dining room table and set your TV to ESPN .. Also make sure you put an obnoxious overstuffed recliner amid your furniture (preferably something that doesn't match and comes with holes for beer cans) . Now the trick is too live with that for at least a month . If you can do you are good to go !

Fortunately, not all men are made this way. And some of us girls are lazier, sloppier, and noisier than our husbands.

Audrey

[Moemg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by audreyh1 Fortunately, not all men are made this way. And some of us girls are lazier, sloppier, and noisier than our husbands. Audrey

I absolutely agree . My SO is messy in certain area and OCD in others . He's a perfectionist when he does projects and he treats me like a queen so I overlook the messy areas but I did ditch the recliner for a more tailored version .

[Dawg52]

Here you go w2r, nature, separate homes, and within walking distance of each other.

[Meadbh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dawg52 Here you go w2r, nature, separate homes, and within walking distance of each other.

And frugal, too!
But not hurricane proof!

[RonBoyd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meadbh But not hurricane proof!

Would be if located in Colorado.

[W2R]

I have to admit that any place I live in will have city water and sewage.

[NW-Bound]

But my lady, there IS water. And sewage. At the end of the hoses.

[kcowan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khan Just to say: I am female and am sloppier & lazier than most male stereotypes. I pay people to do housework & yardwork.

Yes we had a maid when we both worked. After retirement, we kept her on. Now she also cooks the odd meal too.

We are in n aprtment where they do everything but I have made some planter and trellises on the pation which I maintain and stain. DW does the planting.

In Mexico, we have a maid and a mozo. Once the mozo caught me painting the railing and was amazed that I could do it!

[Walt34]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ksr Our problem is that I have a much higher standard of "clean" than he does. He says I'm OCD - I say he's a slob.

I think every couple has had that discussion. I know DW and I have.

"You're vacuuming again? We just did it last March!"

[simple girl]

I really value my alone time, but not as much as DH values his alone time/time with friends/etc. We rarely argue, but when we do it usually is because I want to spend more time with him than he does with me. I'm needier than I wish I were, but at least I'm honest with myself about it! It's something I'm working on...

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walt34 I think every couple has had that discussion. I know DW and I have. "You're vacuuming again? We just did it last March!"

My ex thought he could out-slob me (the stereotypical male passive-aggressive shtick). I figured if I couldn't smell it and it wasn't moving...

[bbbamI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by simple girl I really value my alone time, but not as much as DH values his alone time/time with friends/etc. We rarely argue, but when we do it usually is because I want to spend more time with him than he does with me. I'm needier than I wish I were, but at least I'm honest with myself about it! It's something I'm working on...

IMO.......

Good for you...y'all need to discuss it.

Don't keep things bottled up...because if you do, at some point the top is gonna blow, or just fizzle out.

[Moscyn]

DH and I live in a medium size apartment with 3 bedrooms and yet we have ample "alone" time. It is vital for us to have 2 TVs as we have different taste in programmes. It is usual to find us watching TV on our own in different rooms. The club house in our building ensures we are not far from each other and yet enjoy time on our own in the apartment. Also, his business travels and my occasional travels with friends/family gives us a lot of time to enjoy the solitude in our home. Alone but never lonely.

[Moemg]

We live together seamlessly . I never think about alone time . We each have our own TV but we watch certain shows together . We do lots of things together and some things separately .He loves sports . I like it in small doses so he shares the sports love with his sons . I love sappy chic flicks . He doesn't so I share my sappy flics with my daughter or go by myself .We had dated for two years before moving in together . It was an adjustment but we eventually worked out the kinks . I ignore some of his quirks and he ignores mine . It is taking the relationship to another level and once done it may be hard to return to the former relationship without a lot of hurt feelings and some lost money .

[Westernskies]

DW and are both still working; we both travel 100+ days annually in our careers. Home together most weekends; it works well, since there isn't time for arguing or for little disagreements to build into something bigger. After spending 4-5 days apart, we really enjoy our time together, and make the most of it; maybe a bit of "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Note: This is the second marriage for both of us. I believe we both learned a lot from what went wrong the first time around, and appreciate what we have now even more.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg It is taking the relationship to another level and once done it may be hard to return to the former relationship without a lot of hurt feelings and some lost money .

This is the key. No matter what the reason, if you fold up camp someone is going to feel rejected. And that is hard to overcome. Possible to ignore maybe, but close to impossible to erase completely.

Ha

[bbbamI]

I wanna 'meet' Frank. Is he a member of this forum?

[W2R]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbbamI I wanna 'meet' Frank. Is he a member of this forum?

He is a member, but he has only posted a half dozen times or so in the past few years. After posts like some of those that have popped up on this thread he will probably be too embarrassed to ever post again! Oh well - - you can take solace in the fact that at least he has a name you can refer to. Many here have nameless spouses or SO's.