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Old 07-19-2010, 11:47 AM   #81
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Many here have nameless spouses or SO's.
Mine is Brenda. (A serious oversight -- DW, now that I think on it, just doesn't feel right.) On the other hand, "many" here are nameless also.
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:50 AM   #82
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Mine is Brenda.
(Waving "hi" to Brenda and Ron)
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:53 PM   #83
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DW has been away for the last three weeks - Our quality of life has been greatly degraded :-) . I and the kids missed her. I do get lonely without her. However, when we are together we do allow each other "alone time".
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:59 PM   #84
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Many here have nameless spouses or SO's.
Say hi to Donald, too!
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:02 PM   #85
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My ex thought he could out-slob me (the stereotypical male passive-aggressive shtick). I figured if I couldn't smell it and it wasn't moving...
So my SO asked: "What on TV?"
and I said: "Dust!"
and that's when the fight started...
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:06 PM   #86
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Say hi to Donald, too!
Hi Sarah and Donald!
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:07 PM   #87
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So my SO asked: "What on TV?"
and I said: "Dust!"
and that's when the fight started...
Ooooh, you're a brave man!
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:11 PM   #88
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DW has been away for the last three weeks - Our quality of life has been greatly degraded :-) . I and the kids missed her. I do get lonely without her. However, when we are together we do allow each other "alone time".
I think most people really do need a certain amount of "alone time". I also think you're a step ahead because at least you know that you need it and allow for it.
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:31 PM   #89
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So my SO asked: "What on TV?"
and I said: "Dust!"
and that's when the fight started...
Thanks for that! I'm in the office, working overtime... but this made my day better.
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:34 PM   #90
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Thanks for that! I'm in the office, working overtime...
...and pharting around on the internet.
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:23 PM   #91
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So my SO asked: "What on TV?"
and I said: "Dust!"
and that's when the fight started...
Gosh, I wouldn't get mad, I'd just be thrilled that SO even noticed the dust! (And then I'd be sure to hand him a dustrag...)
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Old 07-20-2010, 07:39 AM   #92
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I ignore some of his quirks and he ignores mine .
One SIL (she's a nurse, so is the smarter one) summed it up this way: "Everyone has flaws. The trick is to find someone whose flaws don't matter much to you."
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Old 08-03-2010, 07:51 PM   #93
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Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
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Old 08-04-2010, 05:48 AM   #94
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Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
-- Katherine Hepburn
That would be perfect - but only if DW cleaned my house whenever she visited.
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Old 08-04-2010, 03:12 PM   #95
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That would be perfect - but only if DW cleaned my house whenever she visited.
I don't even clean my house.
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Old 08-04-2010, 03:44 PM   #96
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"If you feel lonely when you are alone, then you are in bad company".

I pretty much live by that. Been a happy loner and introvert for most of my life, which served me well when I moved from Argentina to the US at age 23 and pretty much didn't know anybody here. I lived in a 200 sq./feet "efficiency" for about 4 years, saving 80% of my income and reading, listening to music and watching at least one movie per day, thanks to Netflix (those three activities basically define who I am since I was at least 10 years old). When most people my age where getting up to their eyeballs in debt, getting drunk, getting lost in life, getting high, or a combination of all of the above, I don't regret having gone through this "sacrifice stage" at all, and I am grateful I saved as much and lived below my means for so long when it would have been a lot easier to just go with the flow of the masses...

I am now 32, recently married, and life is very different. I still value my "alone time" as perhaps one of the most treasured aspects of my day, and my wife knows about this. She's not quite as independent, self-confident nor self-reliant as I am, but knows how important (and, in the end, beneficial to her) it is to "let me be" as much as she can.

The way I handled this was easy: before we moved in together, I told her she could do anything whatsoever she wanted to do with the house when it came to decorations, arrangements, furniture, etc, as long as I could have one room fully for myself (our house is a 2/2, which is more than big enough for me) and do with it whatever I pleased. She agreed, and now whenever I feel like being my usual self I simply say "I'm going to the room for a while". This operates as both my "sancto santorum", my "man cave", my reading place, my music listening place, my relaxing area, and my "home theater" (all my audio-visual equipment is set-up there). We do, however, make a point of watching at least one movie together every night, and we both love that. I think the fact that we both love movies so much, even though it might sound so irrelevant and simple, is in fact a crucial aspect of why our marriage works (so far).
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