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Old 09-27-2016, 09:24 PM   #21
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I suggest that you tell people that you are unemployed if retired bothers you.
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Old 09-27-2016, 09:35 PM   #22
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No one should be forced to work when they can afford to be retired. Your wife works by choice, that is her prerogative. You retired. That is your prerogative. Would she rather you were stressed out and miserable at work?


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Old 09-27-2016, 09:58 PM   #23
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Slacker, slacker, I was a kept man for almost 20 years, that's a slacker.
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Old 09-27-2016, 10:20 PM   #24
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She has mentioned it before. She was never happy about my retirement. It stemmed from a bad work environment where I had just finally had enough. Instead of doing something else for work, I looked into the retirement option, and decided- wow, I can make that work finacially, if wife takes SS, so why not do it? She was fearful at first regarding the finances; but, as I said earlier, no financial issues at all.

I do around 90% of the chores. I think part of it may be that she has a mind set that husband is to work till 65.
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Old 09-27-2016, 11:35 PM   #25
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What I actually meant to say is that her taking it early shorted us $200 per month. In other words, if she waited to full retirement age, the amount would only be about $200 more per month. Really negligible amount in light of the fact that we are collecting now, and that we will not miss the $200 extra in 2 years. She undertands that I appreciate her taking it early.
Wow.... There are a LOT of issues here.
So you keep blaming her for taking SS early, but you couldn't retire unless she did ? That is how I read it, so maybe I'm wrong.
Could you have retired early, and she wait to take SS so that she didn't short you both $200/month forever ?


Please clarify you said "We have no debt to speak of other than standard living expenses (no mortgage)."
Please explain what standard living expenses are debt ?
I have no debt.
We pay for all our food, utilities, and pay off totally to zero all credit cards per month.

Are you saying you are building up credit card debt, or carry credit card debt month to month ?
Perhaps this is why your Wife was/is nervous about the money. ?
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Old 09-28-2016, 12:36 AM   #26
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haha, just a head's-up that I edited my post after you quoted me in your post, #24 above.
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Old 09-28-2016, 12:54 AM   #27
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Slacker, slacker, I was a kept man for almost 20 years, that's a slacker.

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Old 09-28-2016, 05:12 AM   #28
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Slackard is how I roll. Welcome to the club and join a chapter in your area today.
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Old 09-28-2016, 06:41 AM   #29
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Welcome to the slacker club. I'm thinking of running for president in the next year or so, but am not sure if I am ambitious enough to take on the awesome responsibilities.

It sounds like your DW resents that you are retired and she is still working even though it sounds like she is continuing to work because she wants to and does not have to. I don't see a problem at all since you have enough and are not touching your 401ks at all so from my viewpoint the problem is her mindset. Don't tell her that... I don't want to get in trouble (or get you in trouble).

I retired at 56 because we had enough and I decided that I had better things that I wanted to do with my time.

Actually, the slacker thing reminds me of an old Beetle Bailey cartoon where Beetle complains to Sarge that he gets the most difficult assignments and asks why. Sarge responds that he thinks Beetle is lazy and that as a result he will naturally find the easiest way to get the assignments done.
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Old 09-28-2016, 07:01 AM   #30
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My much older sister was married to a guy that retired early - took his pension - she continued to work and would make this statement "I marched and burned my bra in the 60's so I could work and my husband stays home!?"

That wasn't the only issue they had - but I always loved that statement.


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Old 09-28-2016, 07:13 AM   #31
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But wait.... if the wife retires early and the husband continues to work that is considered totally normal and perfectly fine? If so, then gender equality is a one-way street. If one is fine then the inverse should be fine as well.
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Old 09-28-2016, 07:31 AM   #32
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My much older sister was married to a guy that retired early - took his pension - she continued to work and would make this statement "I marched and burned my bra in the 60's so I could work and my husband stays home!?"

That wasn't the only issue they had - but I always loved that statement.


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Old 09-28-2016, 08:55 AM   #33
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But wait.... if the wife retires early and the husband continues to work that is considered totally normal and perfectly fine? If so, then gender equality is a one-way street. If one is fine then the inverse should be fine as well.
Exactly. I've lost count of all the SAHMs I've known that slipped into early retirement without a word from anyone about being a slacker.
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:28 AM   #34
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Wife has me feeling a little guilty about retiring. I retired last year (58 years old). My wife is older. She was 64 when I retired.

We were walking the dog tonight talked with someone in the neighborhood. It came up in the conversation, and I said I was retired. Of course, I got the usual "you look too young to retire" comment. I responded that I am lucky that my wife still wants to work part-time

During the walk, I thanked my wife for being able for being able to retire when I did.The reason I was able to retire was the addition of her SS. She said that it embarrasses her when I tell someone I am retired, and she thinks I am a slackard.

I don't feel like a slackard, and I certainly enjoy retirement. I have pensions from 2 employers (not great amounts). Wife took SS early shorting us about $200 per month had she waited to 66. She works part time and wants to do so. We have no debt to speak of other than standard living expenses (no mortgage). We live comfortably, no different than when I was working.

We have 2 nice 401k's that have not yet been touched. Bottom line is that we are financially sound. I told her she can retire any time she wants. That would be when we would start tapping into one of the 401k's until I collect SS.

So I look at this a a communtiy enterprise. All of our money is community property and we have been married almot 30 years. All communtiy effort. I look at it as why not retire if it is financially doable.

I would not have been able to retire if she did not take SS early. So, am I a slackard, and wrong to retire?


No, you are not a slacker. You are smarter than the average bear and are ahead of the game. It's like a marathon in which retiring is the goal and you ran it with a better time.

Congrats. Enjoy. I retired a couple years ago, at age 62. I'm loving it.


Added: I'm female and have no issues with you as a male retiring early--just stay out from underfoot! ;-)
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:35 AM   #35
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Exactly. I've lost count of all the SAHMs that slipped into early retirement without a word from anyone about being a slacker.
DW has been retired since 1996 (no kids). If I called her a slacker I'd have to sew it back on again.
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:41 AM   #36
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She has mentioned it before. She was never happy about my retirement. It stemmed from a bad work environment where I had just finally had enough. Instead of doing something else for work, I looked into the retirement option, and decided- wow, I can make that work finacially, if wife takes SS, so why not do it? She was fearful at first regarding the finances; but, as I said earlier, no financial issues at all.

I do around 90% of the chores. I think part of it may be that she has a mind set that husband is to work till 65.

EDIT: figured out that the real issue was not that I should work till I am 65; rather, it had to do with other stuff.

"other stuff" care to elaborate? you don't have to, but we seem to get a lot of threads about couples having difficulty adjusting to ER.
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:04 AM   #37
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"other stuff" care to elaborate? you don't have to, but we seem to get a lot of threads about couples having difficulty adjusting to ER.
Yes, it is other stuff that she and I discussed. I am not a slackard because of retiring; but, because of other stuff we discussed. I should not have aired my personal issues on a forum. Probably a poor thread title that should have been different.

The question at the time (not now) should have been (or something like this) without me discussing my personal life as follows. Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?

Thank you everyone for your input.
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:14 AM   #38
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Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?
Only if you don't count your unbilled credit cards purchases as debt........oh, hold on, that's a different thread.

(Me, I'd say if you don't work, and you have no intention of ever working again, you are, for all intents & purposes, retired.......and good luck to you!)
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:25 AM   #39
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Only if you don't count your unbilled credit cards purchases as debt........oh, hold on, that's a different thread.

(Me, I'd say if you don't work, and you have no intention of ever working again, you are, for all intents & purposes, retired.......and good luck to you!)
No true scotsman RE would agree.

OP--good luck and GodSpeed with getting on the same page with DW. Hopefully transitory discomfort is all that is happening.
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:42 AM   #40
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. . . . Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?

Thank you everyone for your input.
My view is that the family income is a pool and it wouldn't matter who took the SS to enable either party to retire.

Is it possible that even though you haven't had any financial issues so far, and don't anticipate any, your wife is more conservative in her estimates and is concerned that should there be an economic downturn or unexpected expenses, there may be an issue?

It's hard enough as a single person to know when is the right time and am I really protected for the possible things that could come up during a long retirement. I'd imagine it's doubly hard for a couple when you each have an idea of what is enough.
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