Am I a Slackard?

[Youngster]

haha, just a head's-up that I edited my post after you quoted me in your post, #24 above.

 

[GravitySucks]

Slacker, slacker, I was a kept man for almost 20 years, that's a slacker.

I am interested in subscribing to your newsletter.

 

[davismills]

Slackard is how I roll. Welcome to the club and join a chapter in your area today.

 

[pb4uski]

Welcome to the slacker club. I'm thinking of running for president in the next year or so, but am not sure if I am ambitious enough to take on the awesome responsibilities.

It sounds like your DW resents that you are retired and she is still working even though it sounds like she is continuing to work because she wants to and does not have to. I don't see a problem at all since you have enough and are not touching your 401ks at all so from my viewpoint the problem is her mindset. Don't tell her that... I don't want to get in trouble (or get you in trouble).

I retired at 56 because we had enough and I decided that I had better things that I wanted to do with my time.

Actually, the slacker thing reminds me of an old Beetle Bailey cartoon where Beetle complains to Sarge that he gets the most difficult assignments and asks why. Sarge responds that he thinks Beetle is lazy and that as a result he will naturally find the easiest way to get the assignments done.

 

[LastOfTheBoomers]

My much older sister was married to a guy that retired early - took his pension - she continued to work and would make this statement "I marched and burned my bra in the 60's so I could work and my husband stays home!?"

That wasn't the only issue they had - but I always loved that statement.


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[pb4uski]

But wait.... if the wife retires early and the husband continues to work that is considered totally normal and perfectly fine? If so, then gender equality is a one-way street. If one is fine then the inverse should be fine as well.

 

[grasshopper]

My much older sister was married to a guy that retired early - took his pension - she continued to work and would make this statement "I marched and burned my bra in the 60's so I could work and my husband stays home!?"

That wasn't the only issue they had - but I always loved that statement.


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Ms G says, "I marched and burned my bra in the 70's so I could work and my husband can stay home!"

 

[travelover]

But wait.... if the wife retires early and the husband continues to work that is considered totally normal and perfectly fine? If so, then gender equality is a one-way street. If one is fine then the inverse should be fine as well.

Exactly. I've lost count of all the SAHMs I've known that slipped into early retirement without a word from anyone about being a slacker.

 

[WeedWatcher]

Wife has me feeling a little guilty about retiring. I retired last year (58 years old). My wife is older. She was 64 when I retired.

We were walking the dog tonight talked with someone in the neighborhood. It came up in the conversation, and I said I was retired. Of course, I got the usual "you look too young to retire" comment. I responded that I am lucky that my wife still wants to work part-time

During the walk, I thanked my wife for being able for being able to retire when I did.The reason I was able to retire was the addition of her SS. She said that it embarrasses her when I tell someone I am retired, and she thinks I am a slackard.

I don't feel like a slackard, and I certainly enjoy retirement. I have pensions from 2 employers (not great amounts). Wife took SS early shorting us about $200 per month had she waited to 66. She works part time and wants to do so. We have no debt to speak of other than standard living expenses (no mortgage). We live comfortably, no different than when I was working.

We have 2 nice 401k's that have not yet been touched. Bottom line is that we are financially sound. I told her she can retire any time she wants. That would be when we would start tapping into one of the 401k's until I collect SS.

So I look at this a a communtiy enterprise. All of our money is community property and we have been married almot 30 years. All communtiy effort. I look at it as why not retire if it is financially doable.

I would not have been able to retire if she did not take SS early. So, am I a slackard, and wrong to retire?

No, you are not a slacker. You are smarter than the average bear and are ahead of the game. It's like a marathon in which retiring is the goal and you ran it with a better time.

Congrats. Enjoy. I retired a couple years ago, at age 62. I'm loving it.


Added: I'm female and have no issues with you as a male retiring early--just stay out from underfoot! ;-)

 

[Big_Hitter]

Exactly. I've lost count of all the SAHMs that slipped into early retirement without a word from anyone about being a slacker.

DW has been retired since 1996 (no kids). If I called her a slacker I'd have to sew it back on again.

 

[ivinsfan]

She has mentioned it before. She was never happy about my retirement. It stemmed from a bad work environment where I had just finally had enough. Instead of doing something else for work, I looked into the retirement option, and decided- wow, I can make that work finacially, if wife takes SS, so why not do it? She was fearful at first regarding the finances; but, as I said earlier, no financial issues at all.

I do around 90% of the chores. I think part of it may be that she has a mind set that husband is to work till 65.

EDIT: figured out that the real issue was not that I should work till I am 65; rather, it had to do with other stuff.

"other stuff" care to elaborate? you don't have to, but we seem to get a lot of threads about couples having difficulty adjusting to ER.

 

[Youngster]

"other stuff" care to elaborate? you don't have to, but we seem to get a lot of threads about couples having difficulty adjusting to ER.

Yes, it is other stuff that she and I discussed. I am not a slackard because of retiring; but, because of other stuff we discussed. I should not have aired my personal issues on a forum. Probably a poor thread title that should have been different.

The question at the time (not now) should have been (or something like this) without me discussing my personal life as follows. Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?

Thank you everyone for your input.

 

[Nemo2]

Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?

Only if you don't count your unbilled credit cards purchases as debt........oh, hold on, that's a different thread.

(Me, I'd say if you don't work, and you have no intention of ever working again, you are, for all intents & purposes, retired.......and good luck to you!)

 

[2017ish]

Only if you don't count your unbilled credit cards purchases as debt........oh, hold on, that's a different thread.

(Me, I'd say if you don't work, and you have no intention of ever working again, you are, for all intents & purposes, retired.......and good luck to you!)

No true [-]scotsman[/-] RE would agree.

OP--good luck and GodSpeed with getting on the same page with DW. Hopefully transitory discomfort is all that is happening.

 

[Katiek]

. . . . Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?

Thank you everyone for your input.

My view is that the family income is a pool and it wouldn't matter who took the SS to enable either party to retire.

Is it possible that even though you haven't had any financial issues so far, and don't anticipate any, your wife is more conservative in her estimates and is concerned that should there be an economic downturn or unexpected expenses, there may be an issue?

It's hard enough as a single person to know when is the right time and am I really protected for the possible things that could come up during a long retirement. I'd imagine it's doubly hard for a couple when you each have an idea of what is enough.

 

[travelover]

...........
It's hard enough as a single person to know when is the right time and am I really protected for the possible things that could come up during a long retirement. I'd imagine it's doubly hard for a couple when you each have an idea of what is enough.

Everyone faces uncertainty over finances, but there are lots of tools like FIRECALC that can give one as much confidence as is possible. For a spouse to ignore those tools and just insist the other keep working until they say it is OK to retire is outrageous.

 

[gauss]

I'll play Devil's Advocate here.

If the only way that you were able to retire is by living off your wife's income then you may be retired but you are not financially independent. To see you represent yourself to everyone as Retired may be a bit misleading/annoying from her perspective.

Given that you wife is bothered by this and seems to have latent resentment issues, you may be in precarious position.

FWIW When I FIRED and DW was still working it had to be a joint decision. She was a bit unsure at first, but I could return to my job after one year if I desired (unpaid dependent leave program at MegaCorps).

DW was concerned about how we would explain this to friends and family. I knew that I had to own this. I came up with some language that she could honestly use to answer the pointed questions such as "Well -- What do you think about him not working?!"

She could honestly say "She is evaluating it on an ongoing basis..." or something to that effect.

She also needed to know that we were financially okay enough that if she needed to quit/retire earlier than the current plan that it would be possible. She didn't want to feel trapped.

Fortunately I believe that it has all worked out for us. After 1 year leave of absence I was allowed to FIRE and pursuit other unpaid interests.

We are to the point now where FIRE for DW is about a year off which includes a big pension bump (~0.5M) for age/years of service attainment which was the original plan. (whew).

May want to consider attendance at a seminar or something that teaches skilll in couples communication.

I hope it all works out for you.

-gauss

 

[haha]

No true [-]scotsman[/-] RE would agree.

OP--good luck and GodSpeed with getting on the same page with DW. Hopefully transitory discomfort is all that is happening.

We were well into retirement when my former wife who had worked little and earned less shouted at me to get a job. Instead, I got a divorce and I consider that a much more satisfactory solution.

Ha

 

[niven]

If the only way that you were able to retire is by living off your wife's income then you may be retired but you are not financially independent. To see you represent yourself to everyone as Retired may be a bit misleading/annoying from her perspective.

OP already stated his DW does not need to keep working, they have enough (from his perspective at least).

 

[Sunset]

OP already stated his DW does not need to keep working, they have enough (from his perspective at least).

But not from her perspective. One of them is right.

 

[Just_Steve]

We were well into retirement when my former wife who had worked little and earned less shouted at me to get a job. Instead, I got a divorce and I consider that a much more satisfactory solution.

Ha

Ding, we have a winner.

 

[Walt34]

My view is that the family income is a pool and it wouldn't matter who took the SS to enable either party to retire.

That's our take on it too. I retired in 2002 and wanted desperately to get out of the area around Washington, D.C. DW was reluctant to leave her federal job but we both thought she'd be able to get another in WV (lots of federal sites around here) because she always had excellent reviews, outstanding service awards, and the like. Although she interviewed for a number of jobs we eventually figured out that the hiring culture here is different and it is almost essential to "know somebody" to get hired, so they were just going through the motions in interviewing her.

Eventually FIL's health issues required more and more time from her and she was happy to not have a job. I was fine with all this because it kept her happy and not exhausted all the time from working and looking after FIL. And while the additional income had she found a job would certainly have been nice, it is far from being essential. While DW was spending a lot of time dealing with FIL's issues, I stumbled into a nearby low-stress job with a 3.4 mile commute and worked there for a few more years, and quit when things started to go south at the job site.

What we planned on happening didn't happen but we made certain to allow for that possibility before planning the move to WV and we were careful to not put ourselves in a position such that we would need to have jobs. So in the end DW "retired" at the age of 46. In no way do I consider her a "slacker" of any sort. Hey, stuff happens and we just went with it.

 

[pb4uski]

My view is that the family income is a pool and it wouldn't matter who took the SS to enable either party to retire. ...

+1 but perhaps the OP is a second or late marriage where finances tend to be separate.... especially if they married later in life. We don't know. Also, the OP says they have 401ks but have not made any withdrawals. If the OP's 401k exceeds what his DW will collect in SS before she retires or his FRA, whichever comes first, then he is arguably FI even on his own as he could have just tapped into his 401k to fund his earlier retirement rather than rely on his DW's SS. We don't have enough information to know.

 

[Bestwifeever]

You probably are not a slacker but I don't imagine Mrs Youngster will be happy that random strangers from the Internet agree with you after hearing one side of the story. Probably better not to mention you've posted about it.

 

[Teacher Terry]

If you needed your wife to take SS early then it sounds like you also need her p.t. income which effectively ties her to working and she is older then you. Just a thought.