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Old 05-19-2011, 09:46 PM   #21
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ive contemplated meds, but dont want to rely on something like that. at this point, something's gotta give though.

just got back from therapist! that helps a little

and yeah, im down 17 lbs since april 2
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Old 05-20-2011, 02:18 AM   #22
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I am so sorry.
Get all the help you can and try to solve all issues in an amicable way.
Try to keep parenting matters apart from couple issues - for the sake of your good relation to the kids.
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Old 05-20-2011, 01:42 PM   #23
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ive contemplated meds, but dont want to rely on something like that. at this point, something's gotta give though.

just got back from therapist! that helps a little

and yeah, im down 17 lbs since april 2
I took the antidepressant for a year, and after I was through the divorce and moved, I went off it. So I feel that resorting to the meds helped me to think more clearly and be able to help my daughter who was just finishing high school. After the worst was over, I could drop the meds and learn how to deal with the aftermath without relying on them.

Best wishes.
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Old 05-20-2011, 02:12 PM   #24
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So sorry.

For me, a good lawyer helped. I didn't have to get caught up in all the emotional garbage and just I just turned it over and let the lawyers argue it out to what would be a reasonable outcome, given the circumstances.

FWIW, the lessons learned made my second marriage as strong and happy as the first was miserable. Nineteen years with only two arguments. I did wait twelve years to find the right one for me, to marry again though.
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Old 05-20-2011, 03:15 PM   #25
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Sorry to hear about it Fed.
Take some steps to protect yourself now.
Its a good time to open new bank accounts and have any deposits moved into those. I've read many stories of one party cleaning out the bank accounts, so watch out for that.
I assume you are seeking 50/50 parenting time? How does your wife feel about that?
Things get ugly fast, so you need to get help for yourself to remain healthy and focused on your goals.
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Old 06-07-2011, 09:22 PM   #26
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she's gone from cooperative to vindictive over night. all she has control over is my kids. she is hiding them from me, wont let me with them alone. stole money. false police reportS. its getting ugly. so sad for the kids.

life sucks
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Old 06-07-2011, 09:58 PM   #27
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she's gone from cooperative to vindictive over night. all she has control over is my kids. she is hiding them from me, wont let me with them alone. stole money. false police reportS. its getting ugly. so sad for the kids.

life sucks
Get the meanest divorce female lawyer you can find. And if you get criminally charged, spend whatever you have to on an ace criminal lawyer.

You have to forget that she was once your "loving wife"- now she is your greatest enemy and needs to be understood as such.

Ha
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:36 PM   #28
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I'm sorry it has come to this. Hang in there and think of the kids through this. Document anything and get a good divorce attorney.
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Old 06-08-2011, 06:16 AM   #29
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After reading the old thread and this one I would be asking myself a few questions if I were in your shoes.
1. Are the children mine? As painful as this question is your old thread talked of some infidelity on her part.
2. What is my moral obligation to the children? What part do I want in their lives? How do I want them to view me? What part of my childhood that was not good do I want to try to protect them from? What good things do I want to teach and show them?
obviously the legal aspect of your financial obligation will be decided by the courts- unless things have changed your ex did not work and has been home raising children and will be for many years, so your financial obligation will probably include supporting her as well.
3. since this is an early retirement forum and I assume that is why we post here, what can I do to move forward in my own financial security?
4. Where do I see myself in five years, ten years, fifteen years? At this time you must be about 28 so you have a lot of years ahead of you.

just because you made mistakes in the past (like most of us) doesn't mean you have to keep making mistakes in the future.
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Old 06-08-2011, 08:20 AM   #30
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I am so sorry for the mess you are in.
I am sure you will try to the partnership issues apart from the parental issues and will do your best to protect the kids, even if your wife might not.
Can you protect the bouncehouse business or is it all in her name?
Whatever, please take care of yourself.
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Old 06-08-2011, 09:33 AM   #31
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thefed, don't forget these boards are public and your comments may be picked up by the last person you expect (and always a remote possibility that they might be used against you).
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Old 06-08-2011, 01:57 PM   #32
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thefed, don't forget these boards are public and your comments may be picked up by the last person you expect (and always a remote possibility that they might be used against you).
excellent advice that didn't even cross my mind
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Old 10-05-2011, 01:15 AM   #33
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well it's still an ugly ride guys. civil protection order. limited time with kids. she's in the house, getting everything paid for by me. luckily the magistrate sees through her vindictive b.s. and just ruled for temporary orders that are WAAAY in my favor. it's looking a little brighter...
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:42 AM   #34
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Thanks for the update, thefed. Sorry to hear that things are going so poorly. It is hard to keep your eye on the future when the present is so miserable. I hope this gets resolved quickly so you can move ahead.
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Old 10-05-2011, 06:13 PM   #35
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Thanks for the update. I hope you get some resolution soon.....I think you said she was pregnant; when is the baby due?
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Old 10-05-2011, 06:33 PM   #36
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Thank you for the update. Take care.
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Old 10-06-2011, 11:09 AM   #37
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well it's still an ugly ride guys. civil protection order. limited time with kids. she's in the house, getting everything paid for by me. luckily the magistrate sees through her vindictive b.s. and just ruled for temporary orders that are WAAAY in my favor. it's looking a little brighter...

I hope you don't become vindictive and decide not to pay child support etc. etc.... or talk down about her to the children....

Just move on... life can be great and there is no reason to keep anger as it eats away at you, not them...
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Old 10-06-2011, 12:17 PM   #38
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Sent you a PM with info on a great fathers rights divorce site. Helped me out a lot.
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Old 10-06-2011, 01:05 PM   #39
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yes...the baby is here! Evan was born July 26 ...a healthy baby boy!
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Old 12-01-2011, 11:16 PM   #40
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still dragging along. court system is sooooo slow. looks like we should have a final divorce trial (no negotiating looks possible due to her atty) by dec 6 2012. un.be.lieveable.
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