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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 07:03 AM   #41
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 08:00 AM   #42
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
Worked for a CEO who frequently stated that his main role was to "inflict the comforted..." :P
Sort of like the crabs...
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 11:21 AM   #43
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cute n' Fuzzy Bunny
==== FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ====

TO:* * * SGI Users
FROM:* * Public Relations
CONTACT: Louis Semprini, Corporate Mgmt Comm. Coordinator
So how many badgers did he give away?
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 11:33 AM   #44
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

org chart

Two I hear often and use (maybe it's cause I'm in the South):
Git r done
Good to go

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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 11:37 AM   #45
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

Here's one, directly from a recent report:

"corporate objectives that will produce a virtuous cycle of value creation"

'Scuse me??

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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 11:50 AM   #46
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

My company keeps it simple.

"Work more, spend less, profits get bigger. You get more bonuses and profit sharing contributions."

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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 01:31 PM   #47
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

Quote:
Originally Posted by justin
My company keeps it simple.

"Work more, spend less, profits get bigger.* We You get more bonuses and profit sharing contributions."

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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-07-2006, 01:38 PM   #48
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather
"Work more, spend less, profits get bigger. We You get more bonuses and profit sharing contributions."
So far, they have put their money where their mouth is.
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak
Old 03-09-2006, 01:47 PM   #49
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Re: Annoying Corporate Speak

Has anyone seen this?

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/boo...67920740&itm=1

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Actually, I Have Heard of That Book
Old 03-09-2006, 07:19 PM   #50
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Actually, I Have Heard of That Book

I think our local paper had an article on "corporate speak" and this book was referenced.

Our office is going through a new initiative, and we got some information to review before a big meeting next week. One of the things we have to do is evaluate certain vendor software. In that information, someone wrote we had to answer this question of each software package we evaluate - "Does the granularity of the software reach the level of detail necessary to meet (our) business objectives?" Well, I had no idea what they were even asking, so I did what every corporate-speak impaired employee does - looked it up on the Internet. There I found a website with a corporate buzzword dictionary (http://www.buzzwhack.com/buzzcomp/dict.htm.) I sent it around to some of the other workers in the office, and we spent the rest of yesterday afternoon looking up words. We were laughing so hard that we had tears streaming down our cheeks.

So far, none of us have had a "salmon day"
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