Annoying MegaCorp people !!!!!

[albireo13]

iPhone Idiot:
Wanders the halls with his face in his smartphone, expecting everyone else to move out of his way. He puts on the air of being unaware but, it is a passive-aggressive power trip for him since he is so important!! (one of the mini-managers who I work with)

[albireo13]

Max-Meeting Melvin:
Can't make a decision to save his/her life. Calls a meeting for everything. Every decision must be by group consensus, involving a cast of thousands. It's like a Cecil B. DeMille production.

Also, "gets off" on copying upper management on most emails, no matter how trivial.

[braumeister]

Quote:

Originally Posted by davismills Seagull Sally: Flies in unannounced, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and flies out.

This one reminded me of the classic definition of an expert consultant:

Someone who doesn't know any more than you, but comes from another city, charges a big fee, and has color slides.

[gretah]

I seriously LOVE this thread! Makes me so happy I don't work in an office and haven't for years.

Back in the day, I had a client who wanted me to load my reports and do a few other things twice a month into her computer in her office. To do this, I used a computer at a desk in an office shared with

Babbling Brooke

BB talked to herself All The Effen Time.
"Now, why did I put that file in that drawer? That makes no sense."
"Bugger. I have to phone Dr. Harris this morning. I wonder if I can put her off until afternoon?"
"Oh, mew mew. I wish this office would allow you to come be with me. I can't wait to go home and give you kitty treats."

I asked her to please not talk to herself during the few hours a month I was there. She said she couldn't help it.
"Chatty. It's what I am."

I fantasized about someone coming into her office one morning and finding her in her chair with her head on her desk and a note alongside:
"Strangled. It's what I am."

[Revlefty]

I am thoroughly enjoying this thread... and really thankful I didn't work in one of the offices you are describing.
Then there is Redundant Robert--who makes a point four times per minute statement because he keeps going over the same point.

Or Get to the Point Gary--it takes him fifteen minutes to tell you something because he can't get to the point.

[Amethyst]

Def gonna meet these at da CCRC!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revlefty Then there is Redundant Robert--who makes a point four times per minute statement because he keeps going over the same point. Or Get to the Point Gary--it takes him fifteen minutes to tell you something because he can't get to the point.

[Chuckanut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaxyBoy Early Bird Earl: Comes to work at 4:00 AM so he can leave at 2:00 PM. I once had to come in that early and found out he spent the first two hours of the day eating breakfast and reading the paper.

Then there is his opposite Latework Lisa.

She always works at least 2 hours past 'normal' quitting time. What the bosses don't see when they leave at 6:30, and Lisa is still working, is her often late arrivals, long bathroom breaks, and the 90 minute to two hour lunches.

[GalaxyBoy]

Forwarding Freddie:

Reads only the first sentence of an email before forwarding it to someone. Doesn’t see the potentially embarrassing information on line 12.

Receives a long email chain and forwards it with no explanation for action. Gives no clue that the action he wants is in email #14 of 23 in the chain, all of which Are quoted in entirely including headers, disclaimers, etc. Becomes angry when asked for clarification. Gets even madder when two hours are charged to his project.

[Tetto]

How about “Sneezing Sam”. A Chinese national in my office frequently lets a sneeze go while at his cube ; normally not an issue but its several in sucession and the decibel level of a howitzer...he also had the fine art of coughing up a lung and spitting in his garbage basket down pat....all acceptable in China I’m certain!������

[travelover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tetto How about “Sneezing Sam”. A Chinese national in my office frequently lets a sneeze go while at his cube ; normally not an issue but its several in sucession and the decibel level of a howitzer...he also had the fine art of coughing up a lung and spitting in his garbage basket down pat....all acceptable in China I’m certain!������

At MegaMotors, we had certain recent arrivals that either used the bathroom sink as a Kleenex or a foot washer.

[albireo13]

Farting Frank:
Can be heard ripping a few, each day. You often risk lung damage going into his office to talk with him.

[John Galt III]

Psychobabble Sam or Sally. You and your coworkers are forced to attend some bs training about stress management or conflict resolution, etc. that takes 4 hours or even 8 hours of your time. Psychobabble Sam or Sally babbles on telling you nothing you don't already know. Sam or Sally get paid well, probably, and you are paid your regular salary to attend, management checks off some useless box on form, and then real work continues.

[Geld ist Freiheit]

Had to give this a bump today.
FaceTime Fiona insists on having a daily video chat with her kid sans headphones so we get to hear both sides of the conversation. The kid is at that age when they can’t quite express themselves is complete, coherent sentences so there are many fragmented thoughts and lots of rambling.
I have may to push up my ER date and escape the asylum.

[Oz investor]

the voice of doom ( ME , until i walked out ) ,

outlines a nightmare scenario , in lurid detail ( but was normally powerless to prevent it ) and get criticized for being'mean and nasty ' so i just smile and get on with the normal job as the drama unfolds ( not my department , not my problem you have to be QUALIFIED to solve problems )

while the full impact of the catastrophe is being analyzed walk by with a smile and say ' i enjoy being mean and nasty but i take pride in being accurate . and walk on since i am not QUALIFIED to help solve the problem .

god i loved the Megacorp structure it was just so entertaining .

i would write a show but then FOX would claim it as their IP ( if it was successful )

[brett]

I found that there were lots of different sorts working at my megacorp employer over the years.

I found that the trick was just to avoid the annoying ones where possible. Plus, I decided to choose not to be annoyed and simply got on with what I needed to.

[albireo13]

I often get annoyed initially, then I really enjoy the show. It's quite entertaining sometimes. Once you recognize the different character types at MegaCorp, going in to work each day is like going to dinner-theater!!!

[albireo13]

don't forget Loud Larry:

LL only has one volume level ... loud! He carries on his work like most others, except that when he drops into someone's office to talk with them, it can be heard at least 5 aisles away!

[albireo13]

Toe-Nail Thomas:


Not very common but, this one guy I work with would often trim his toenails with wire cutters right in his office ... usually after 5PM so most people wouldn't see him. The night cleaning staff would have to vacuum up the pile of clippings on his office floor.


Once one of his TN clippings came flying into my office! Kind of gross and I ragged on him for it.

[CaptTom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by albireo13 don't forget Loud Larry...

Our LL insisted on using the speaker phone for every call. I'd just leave the floor if he was making calls. No point even trying to get anything done.

[kgtest]

Hotflash Heather...the temperature is never right...but everyone else is seemingly fine. I understand some have there reasons...